<![CDATA[The Borderline Besties]]>This is Borderline Besties, the podcast where the three of us sit down to verbalize our unhinged thoughts. We push the limits of 'did they really just say that?' without getting cancelled...hopefully. We're Abbey, Michael, and Lauren, welcome to Borderline Besties!

]]>https://riverside.comRiverside.fm (https://riverside.com)Mon, 02 Nov 2026 16:18:16 GMTWed, 28 Jan 2026 22:09:19 GMT60Lauren Lowder<p>This is Borderline Besties, the podcast where the three of us sit down to verbalize our unhinged thoughts. We push the limits of 'did they really just say that?' without getting cancelled...hopefully. We're Abbey, Michael, and Lauren, welcome to Borderline Besties!</p>episodicLauren Lowderlearnlowder@gmail.comyes<![CDATA[Trick or Treat, Smell Our Feet, Give Us Something Good to Eat]]>Today we're:

Reminiscing on our old trick or treating days.

Comparing burps and farts.

Trying to guess what Lauren dressed up as.

...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>23a5e5a6-d35e-4725-af4e-deba29682e10Thu, 29 Oct 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:</p><p>Reminiscing on our old trick or treating days.</p><p>Comparing burps and farts.</p><p>Trying to guess what Lauren dressed up as.</p><p>...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes01:05:5340Trick or Treat, Smell Our Feet, Give Us Something Good to Eatfull<![CDATA[Raw Chicken, Strip Clubs, and Diarrhea]]>Today we're:

Dissecting Lauren's raw chicken aversion.

Planning a visit to the strip club.

Diagnosing Abbey's diarrhea.

...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>e969909b-61bf-4ff8-a5a2-13a62c7a6609Thu, 22 Oct 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:</p><p>Dissecting Lauren's raw chicken aversion.</p><p>Planning a visit to the strip club.</p><p>Diagnosing Abbey's diarrhea.</p><p>...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes01:10:2139Raw Chicken, Strip Clubs, and Diarrheafull<![CDATA[Deer, Fleas, and Michael’s Hatred of Halloween]]>Today we're:

Complaining about Pennsylvanian deer

Getting to the bottom of Michael’s itchy head

Planning Lauren’s virtual Halloween party

...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>6634b359-ad9b-4685-8dab-37893974989eThu, 15 Oct 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:</p><p>Complaining about Pennsylvanian deer</p><p>Getting to the bottom of Michael’s itchy head</p><p>Planning Lauren’s virtual Halloween party</p><p>...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes00:50:2938Deer, Fleas, and Michael’s Hatred of Halloweenfull<![CDATA[Perms, Pooping in Public Places, & Sneakers]]>Today we're:

Discussing the pros and cons of Michael getting a perm

Talking about our fear of pooping in public

Pitting some iconic characters up against each other (Mr. Clean makes an appearance)

...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>05530de0-912d-43b2-86e4-dff0298a68c2Thu, 08 Oct 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:</p><p>Discussing the pros and cons of Michael getting a perm</p><p>Talking about our fear of pooping in public </p><p>Pitting some iconic characters up against each other (Mr. Clean makes an appearance)</p><p>...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes00:58:3037Perms, Pooping in Public Places, & Sneakersfull<![CDATA[F as in Fart, Stinky Scalps, & Fist Fights]]>Today we're:

Coming up with our own phonetic alphabet

Talking about our stinky scalps

Pitting some super hot celebs up against each other (Jennifer Coolidge anyone??)

...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>703479dc-da0c-411e-9dab-eec9ca567933Thu, 01 Oct 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:</p><p>Coming up with our own phonetic alphabet</p><p>Talking about our stinky scalps</p><p>Pitting some super hot celebs up against each other (Jennifer Coolidge anyone??)</p><p>...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes00:45:5836F as in Fart, Stinky Scalps, & Fist Fightsfull<![CDATA[Collecting Pubes, Pumping Gas with Gloves, and Lavender Marriages]]>Today we're:

Admiring Lauren’s new haircut

Wondering if Blake Lively or Gwenyth Paltrow sleeps in a coffin

Discussing who wears gloves to pump gas: Tom Cruise or Ben Stiller

...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>22ac48a3-4005-4852-89eb-598a627c9b18Thu, 24 Sep 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:</p><p></p><p>Admiring Lauren’s new haircut</p><p>Wondering if Blake Lively or Gwenyth Paltrow sleeps in a coffin</p><p>Discussing who wears gloves to pump gas: Tom Cruise or Ben Stiller </p><p></p><p>...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes01:00:3235Collecting Pubes, Pumping Gas with Gloves, and Lavender Marriagesfull<![CDATA[Long Second Toe, Restaurant Manners, & Vegas Weddings]]>Today we're:

Questioning if Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland has a longer second toe

Debating who has worse manners: Leo Dicaprio or Matthew Mcconaughey

Wondering if Cher or Dolly would be more likely to get married in Vegas

...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>4216d707-68bf-45fb-b97f-a4bebc93df04Thu, 17 Sep 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:</p><p></p><p>Questioning if Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland has a longer second toe</p><p>Debating who has worse manners: Leo Dicaprio or Matthew Mcconaughey</p><p>Wondering if Cher or Dolly would be more likely to get married in Vegas</p><p></p><p>...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes00:51:5534Long Second Toe, Restaurant Manners, & Vegas Weddingsfull<![CDATA[Frosted Flakes, The Zoomies, & Butt Hair]]>Today we're:

Taking a walk down cereal lane and remembering our favorites

Finding out if Michael gets the zoomies or if it's just a girl thing

Learning about each others' butt hair

...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>2578b537-0507-429b-b66d-d600594a8ae3Thu, 10 Sep 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:</p><p></p><p>Taking a walk down cereal lane and remembering our favorites</p><p>Finding out if Michael gets the zoomies or if it's just a girl thing</p><p>Learning about each others' butt hair</p><p></p><p>...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes00:57:3433Frosted Flakes, The Zoomies, & Butt Hairfull<![CDATA[Rollercoaster Tycoon, Haircuts, & Cigars]]>Today we're:




Reminiscing on the best computer games


Telling Lauren how to cut her hair


Discussing cigars and which one of us looks like one



...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>8de2c4a5-e5d7-4860-92b9-71a7088a547aThu, 03 Sep 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:</p><p>
</p><p>Reminiscing on the best computer games
</p><p>Telling Lauren how to cut her hair
</p><p>Discussing cigars and which one of us looks like one

</p><p>...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes00:54:1932Rollercoaster Tycoon, Haircuts, & Cigarsfull<![CDATA[Hormones, Nipple Sizes, and Broccoli Salad]]>Today we're:


Discussing the disaster that is women's health
Asking Michael how big his nips are
Bonding over our love of broccoli salad, a Pennsylvania delicacy

...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>a1aca7e8-6220-49d4-8625-8e241f655a98Thu, 27 Aug 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:</p><p><br />Discussing the disaster that is women's health<br />Asking Michael how big his nips are<br />Bonding over our love of broccoli salad, a Pennsylvania delicacy<br /><br />...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes00:59:0731Hormones, Nipple Sizes, and Broccoli Saladfull<![CDATA[Sleeping Naked, Luteal Phase & Favorite Colors]]>Today we're:
Learning why Lauren can't sleep naked
Explaining the luteal phase to Michael
Finally sharing our favorite colors with each other after 27+ years of friendship
...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>c8a9121f-49ca-45b8-bed5-5274444f88e6Thu, 20 Aug 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:<br />Learning why Lauren can't sleep naked<br />Explaining the luteal phase to Michael<br />Finally sharing our favorite colors with each other after 27+ years of friendship<br />...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes01:06:0930Sleeping Naked, Luteal Phase & Favorite Colorsfull<![CDATA[Cyclospora, Standing Up to Our Bullies, & Crazy Neighbors]]>Today we're:

Hearing about Abbey's cyclospora scare
Looking back on our elementary school bullies
Loving our crazy neighbors from afar

...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>be33ca26-a72b-4c4c-b4c6-42d1e3185341Thu, 13 Aug 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:<br /><br />Hearing about Abbey's cyclospora scare<br />Looking back on our elementary school bullies<br />Loving our crazy neighbors from afar<br /><br />...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes00:58:5829Cyclospora, Standing Up to Our Bullies, & Crazy Neighborsfull<![CDATA[Birthmarks, Sun on Genitals, & Post-Concert Sadness]]>Today we're:


Learning what Michael uses his birthmarks for (be afraid)
Discussing the benefits of sun on genitals
Comforting Abbey after her concert comedown

...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>c994aca7-4e8d-4a62-a3b1-d20c0f5b31eaThu, 06 Aug 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:</p><p><br />Learning what Michael uses his birthmarks for (be afraid)<br />Discussing the benefits of sun on genitals<br />Comforting Abbey after her concert comedown<br /><br />...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes01:09:3628Birthmarks, Sun on Genitals, & Post-Concert Sadnessfull<![CDATA[Pubes, Hobbymaxing, & Spicy Foods]]>Today we're:

Talkin' bout pubic hair. The bush is back baby!
Diagnosing Lauren after hearing her hobbies.
Weighing in on people that don't like spicy foods.

...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>1ca1beb0-5d8f-4993-a814-e696fc6182c8Thu, 30 Jul 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:<br /><br />Talkin' bout pubic hair. The bush is back baby!<br />Diagnosing Lauren after hearing her hobbies.<br />Weighing in on people that don't like spicy foods.<br /><br />...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes01:05:5527Pubes, Hobbymaxing, & Spicy Foodsfull<![CDATA[Missed Periods, Pond Swimming, Long Toes]]>Today we're:

Trying to get to the bottom of Abbey's cycle.
Judging Micheal's pond swimming habit.
Counting Lauren's toe knuckles.

...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>3818d62f-9088-44ae-b662-6c00f9c34ebbThu, 23 Jul 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:<br /><br />Trying to get to the bottom of Abbey's cycle.<br />Judging Micheal's pond swimming habit.<br />Counting Lauren's toe knuckles.<br /><br />...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes01:06:2426Missed Periods, Pond Swimming, Long Toesfull<![CDATA[Farting in Prague, Crying at Parades, & Cigarette Explosions]]>Today we're:

Hearing about Abbey's recent trip to Prague!
Trying to figure out why Lauren cries at golf cart parades.
Reminiscing on stubborn grandmas.

...and much more! Buckle up!

]]>589e9afe-a1ab-45c1-8587-1782601e14c6Thu, 16 Jul 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:<br /><br />Hearing about Abbey's recent trip to Prague!<br />Trying to figure out why Lauren cries at golf cart parades.<br />Reminiscing on stubborn grandmas.<br /><br />...and much more! Buckle up!</p>yes01:07:1125Farting in Prague, Crying at Parades, & Cigarette Explosionsfull<![CDATA[Pee Anxiety, Beach Etiquette, & Male Gynecologists]]>Today we're:
Discussing male gynecologists

Getting to the bottom of why Michael can't pee in the ocean
Judging people's choices on the beach

...and much more!
Buckle up!

]]>f4b69cf1-3190-4b7c-a281-778d0e6bf060Thu, 09 Jul 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:<br />Discussing male gynecologists</p><p>Getting to the bottom of why Michael can't pee in the ocean<br />Judging people's choices on the beach<br /><br />...and much more!<br />Buckle up!</p>yes01:08:2124Pee Anxiety, Beach Etiquette, & Male Gynecologistsfull<![CDATA[Facebook Marketplace, Pet Psychics, & John Mayer's Big Head]]>Today we're:
Discussing our Facebook Marketplace gripes
Talking about a recent pet psychic claim
Speculating why John Mayer's head is so big

...and so much more!
Buckle up!

]]>2f8377be-e5ab-4361-bd32-a2dc4e4d6822Thu, 02 Jul 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:<br />Discussing our Facebook Marketplace gripes<br />Talking about a recent pet psychic claim<br />Speculating why John Mayer's head is so big<br /><br />...and so much more!<br />Buckle up!</p><p></p>yes01:03:3923Facebook Marketplace, Pet Psychics, & John Mayer's Big Headfull<![CDATA[Catching Print, Drooling, & Finding Hair in our Food]]>Today we're:
Discussing the "Catching Print" craze
Judging Michael's overactive salivary glands
Reminiscing on finding hair and bandaids in our food

...and much more!
Buckle up!

]]>a56fa387-be1d-4989-aea4-5023b61d6a16Thu, 25 Jun 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:<br />Discussing the "Catching Print" craze<br />Judging Michael's overactive salivary glands<br />Reminiscing on finding hair and bandaids in our food<br /><br />...and much more!<br />Buckle up!</p>yes01:02:3122Catching Print, Drooling, & Finding Hair in our Foodfull<![CDATA[Public Meltdowns, Olive Garden, & Thyroid Cancer]]>Today we're:

Reminiscing on some of Michael's most recent (and valid) public meltdowns

Pretending we're waiting for a table at Olive Garden in 1998

Reflecting on Abbey's thyroid cancer diagnosis

...and much more!

Buckle up!

]]>9306866a-8ad9-42f3-8693-2b823419b62fThu, 18 Jun 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're:</p><p>Reminiscing on some of Michael's most recent (and valid) public meltdowns</p><p>Pretending we're waiting for a table at Olive Garden in 1998</p><p>Reflecting on Abbey's thyroid cancer diagnosis</p><p>...and much more!<br /><br />Buckle up!</p>yes01:01:5021Public Meltdowns, Olive Garden, & Thyroid Cancerfull<![CDATA[What If...?]]>Today we're asking the important hard-hitting questions:

"What if there's no life after death?"

"What if people were born old and died young?"

"What if our buttcheeks had nipples?"

Buckle up!

]]>3d375392-3f82-4f34-91d1-f28bd21a5fb9Thu, 11 Jun 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Today we're asking the important hard-hitting questions:</p><p>"What if there's no life after death?"</p><p>"What if people were born old and died young?"</p><p>"What if our buttcheeks had nipples?" </p><p></p><p>Buckle up! </p><p></p>yes01:08:1920What If...?full<![CDATA[Our Aging Bodies]]>Batshit Banger: Abbey curated the perfect cart at Home Goods. What happens next you WON'T believe.

Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…how getting older is affecting each of us. Our bones pop when we stand, we have turkey necks...it's not lookin' good folks.

Dilemma: A woman's husband pooped his pants. She now wants nothing to do with him. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

]]>8535a738-db5b-4277-bfeb-62c62143f69aThu, 04 Jun 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Batshit Banger: Abbey curated the perfect cart at Home Goods. What happens next you WON'T believe.</p><p>Meat &amp; potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…how getting older is affecting each of us. Our bones pop when we stand, we have turkey necks...it's not lookin' good folks.</p><p>Dilemma: A woman's husband pooped his pants. She now wants nothing to do with him. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...</p>yes01:09:0719Our Aging Bodiesfull<![CDATA[The Lion, The Witch, & the Audacity]]>Batshit Banger: Lauren experienced the worst massage of her life. You won't believe what happened after.

Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…the absolute audacity other people (and us!) have. We could totally plumb an entire house...

Dilemma: A new boyfriend's breath is just too stinky. Listen in to hear the borderline professional advice we offer up...

]]>1c2c9eac-785d-451b-80b4-2ce9f14ed126Thu, 28 May 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Batshit Banger: Lauren experienced the worst massage of her life. You won't believe what happened after.</p><p>Meat &amp; potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…the absolute audacity other people (and us!) have. We could totally plumb an entire house...</p><p>Dilemma: A new boyfriend's breath is just too stinky. Listen in to hear the borderline professional advice we offer up...</p>yes01:08:5818The Lion, The Witch, & the Audacityfull<![CDATA[Sweet Dreams & Spooky Nightmares]]>Batshit Banger: Michael watched someone get kicked out of a wedding last weekend...

Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…Dreams! Bad ones, good ones, scary ones. Are dreams only in our mind or a portal to another dimension?

Dilemma: Someone is super constipated and intelligently came to us for help. Listen in to hear the borderline professional advice we offer up...

]]>4c8e1f11-1819-4ca2-b7c3-0b9587135568Thu, 21 May 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Batshit Banger: Michael watched someone get kicked out of a wedding last weekend...</p><p>Meat &amp; potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…Dreams! Bad ones, good ones, scary ones. Are dreams only in our mind or a portal to another dimension?</p><p>Dilemma: Someone is super constipated and intelligently came to us for help. Listen in to hear the borderline professional advice we offer up...</p>yes01:05:3417Sweet Dreams & Spooky Nightmaresfull<![CDATA[Conspiracy Theories]]>Batshit Banger: Michael made a cake for a gathering and things went south fast...

Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…More conspiracies!

Dilemma: A girl meets her future monster-in-law. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

]]>05e4270e-7599-454b-a6ef-5e5ca5c91560Thu, 14 May 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Batshit Banger: Michael made a cake for a gathering and things went south fast...</p><p>Meat &amp; potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…More conspiracies! </p><p>Dilemma: A girl meets her future monster-in-law. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...</p>yes01:17:0916Conspiracy Theoriesfull<![CDATA[Food: The Tasty & The Terrible]]>Batshit Banger: Lauren tells us about a time she broke two arms in one week. Yes, you read that correctly.

Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…FOOD: the good, the bad, and the delicious.

Dilemma: A neighbor refuses to pick up his dog's poop. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

]]>49d77e95-1617-44c7-aaed-b6e0a7bf6599Thu, 07 May 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Batshit Banger: Lauren tells us about a time she broke two arms in one week. Yes, you read that correctly.</p><p>Meat &amp; potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…FOOD: the good, the bad, and the delicious.</p><p>Dilemma: A neighbor refuses to pick up his dog's poop. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...</p>yes01:07:5015Food: The Tasty & The Terriblefull<![CDATA[We All Went to See a Psychic]]>Batshit Banger: Michael has an awkward mishap while trying to book a reservation at a restaurant...

Meat & potatoes: Each of us went to see a psychic and today we're sharing our experiences!

Dilemma: French onion soup creates a rift in this person's marriage. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up..

]]>896cdca8-52fe-4823-932c-2c7c03a3cf19Thu, 30 Apr 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Batshit Banger: Michael has an awkward mishap while trying to book a reservation at a restaurant... </p><p>Meat &amp; potatoes: Each of us went to see a psychic and today we're sharing our experiences!</p><p>Dilemma: French onion soup creates a rift in this person's marriage. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up..</p>yes01:18:3314We All Went to See a Psychicfull<![CDATA[Birthdays: Growing up & Now]]>Batshit Banger: Abbey tells us about a time she went jet skiing and almost didn't make it back...

Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…birthdays! (Happy birthday Michael!) We're reminiscing on birthdays growing up, memorable parties, and current celebrations.

Dilemma: A husband is wanting to decorate, but ends up overstepping. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

]]>c8ff8370-5aef-4fe1-bcee-5acf97335aa5Thu, 23 Apr 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Batshit Banger: Abbey tells us about a time she went jet skiing and almost didn't make it back...</p><p>Meat &amp; potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…birthdays! (Happy birthday Michael!) We're reminiscing on birthdays growing up, memorable parties, and current celebrations.</p><p>Dilemma: A husband is wanting to decorate, but ends up overstepping. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...</p>yes00:59:1213Birthdays: Growing up & Nowfull<![CDATA[Astrology]]>Batshit Banger: Why would you help yourself to someone's used towels?! This viewer sent in a really BOLD dilemma...

Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…our astrological signs! Do they match our personalities? You be the judge...

Dilemma: A man's nose whistle is ruining his marriage. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

]]>5e9aabe0-2d27-4ffc-aac0-a1fcc9af4423Thu, 16 Apr 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Batshit Banger: Why would you help yourself to someone's used towels?! This viewer sent in a really BOLD dilemma...</p><p>Meat &amp; potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…our astrological signs! Do they match our personalities? You be the judge... </p><p>Dilemma: A man's nose whistle is ruining his marriage. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...</p>yes01:09:0912Astrologyfull<![CDATA[Daily Struggles]]>Batshit Banger: Michael tells us about a woman who used an airplane bathroom for the first time in her life. How do you not know how to lock it?!

Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…Daily struggles. It's not easy being a millennial adult.

Dilemma: A friend gives the WORST gifts. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

]]>a643aa02-d0ce-4ada-a96c-f9c9fc9593f0Thu, 09 Apr 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Batshit Banger: Michael tells us about a woman who used an airplane bathroom for the first time in her life. How do you not know how to lock it?!</p><p>Meat &amp; potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…Daily struggles. It's not easy being a millennial adult. </p><p>Dilemma: A friend gives the WORST gifts. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...</p>yes01:02:5011Daily Strugglesfull<![CDATA[Spring Cleaning]]>Batshit Banger: Lauren reflects on an awkward moment where she really could've used a diaper...

Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…Spring Cleaning! Out with the old and in with the new.

Dilemma: A bride to be expected a little TOO much. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

]]>f94a40df-e575-4cda-9b6d-601437aebb9eThu, 02 Apr 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Batshit Banger: Lauren reflects on an awkward moment where she really could've used a diaper...</p><p>Meat &amp; potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…Spring Cleaning! Out with the old and in with the new.</p><p>Dilemma: A bride to be expected a little TOO much. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...</p>yes00:58:5310Spring Cleaningfull<![CDATA[Conspiracy Theories]]>Batshit Banger: Michael recalls a time he got into it with a woman on Poop Patrol...

Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…conspiracy theories. Don't forget your tinfoil hats!

Dilemma: A woman's boyfriend never joins her when she wants a sweet treat. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

]]>0ed3adfc-3c9d-4b89-acbe-8144bd812b10Thu, 26 Mar 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Batshit Banger: Michael recalls a time he got into it with a woman on Poop Patrol...</p><p>Meat &amp; potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…conspiracy theories. Don't forget your tinfoil hats!</p><p>Dilemma: A woman's boyfriend never joins her when she wants a sweet treat. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...</p>yes01:11:429Conspiracy Theoriesfull<![CDATA[Things That Feel Illegal But Aren't]]>Batshit Banger: Abbey and her friends are traveling abroad when a wallet goes missing. You won't believe who has it...

Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…things that feel illegal but actually aren't.

Dilemma: Someone joins a book club and ruins EVERYTHING. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

]]>8864beed-96aa-4680-91c9-4ed856e42f20Thu, 19 Mar 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p><b>Batshit Banger: </b>Abbey and her friends are traveling abroad when a wallet goes missing. You won't believe who has it...</p><p><b>Meat &amp; potatoes:</b> Today we’re each bringing to the table…things that feel illegal but actually aren't. </p><p><b>Dilemma:</b> Someone joins a book club and ruins EVERYTHING. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...</p>yes00:54:198Things That Feel Illegal But Aren'tfull<![CDATA[Unhinged Google Reviews]]>Batshit Banger: Lauren tells us about a time she was left in the middle of a back road at night. Her story has a twist ending you won’t see coming!

Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…the most unhinged Google reviews you’ve ever heard.

Dilemma: A nosy neighbor gets a little TOO comfortable. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

]]>056fc787-6a63-4b96-b2bd-6348fb41931eThu, 12 Mar 2026 20:00:00 GMT<p>Batshit Banger: Lauren tells us about a time she was left in the middle of a back road at night. Her story has a twist ending you won’t see coming!</p><p></p><p>Meat &amp; potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…the most unhinged Google reviews you’ve ever heard.</p><p></p><p>Dilemma: A nosy neighbor gets a little TOO comfortable. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...</p>yes00:49:577Unhinged Google Reviewsfull<![CDATA[Childhood: 90s vs. Now]]>Today is a blast from the past. From thongs to Cosmic Brownies, we cover it all. But first…Michael starts us off with an absolute batshit banger you don’t wanna miss (he just wanted to be a hero!!). Once we calm our nervous systems down, we jump into the meat and potatoes - growing up in the 90s vs. growing up now. Remember those scrunchy shirts and 3D Doritos?? Man...what a simpler time. This episode is the most epic walk down memory lane. We end with an interesting dilemma: things are getting wild in a retirement community. Listen in to see what happened and how we weigh in…

]]>3b3c5757-9470-45b5-b160-3224f31254b7Thu, 05 Mar 2026 21:00:00 GMT<p>Today is a blast from the past. From thongs to Cosmic Brownies, we cover it all. But first…Michael starts us off with an absolute batshit banger you don’t wanna miss (he just wanted to be a hero!!). Once we calm our nervous systems down, we jump into the meat and potatoes - growing up in the 90s vs. growing up now. Remember those scrunchy shirts and 3D Doritos?? Man...what a simpler time. This episode is the most epic walk down memory lane. We end with an interesting dilemma: things are getting wild in a retirement community. Listen in to see what happened and how we weigh in…</p>yes01:08:336Childhood: 90s vs. Nowfull<![CDATA[SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS!]]>Today we dive into our sporty pasts! Did you know Abbey and Lauren were like, so good at softball...?? But first…Abbey leads off with an absolute batshit banger you don’t wanna miss (her brother in law was only trying to find a plunger!!!). After we pick our jaws up off the floor, we jump into the meat and potatoes - sports. From our own sporty histories to professional poodle clipping, all the way to disgusting softball field porta potties, we give you a peek behind the curtain into our past sport lives. The episode ends with an interesting dilemma: if you met someone on a blind date and they showed up in a wheelchair without telling you, would that make you feel some type of way? Listen in to see what happened and how we weigh in…

]]>07aed552-d01b-4c34-9987-a0d2d5b08eb5Thu, 26 Feb 2026 21:00:00 GMT<p>Today we dive into our sporty pasts! Did you know Abbey and Lauren were like, so good at softball...?? But first…Abbey leads off with an absolute batshit banger you don’t wanna miss (her brother in law was only trying to find a plunger!!!). After we pick our jaws up off the floor, we jump into the meat and potatoes - sports. From our own sporty histories to professional poodle clipping, all the way to disgusting softball field porta potties, we give you a peek behind the curtain into our past sport lives. The episode ends with an interesting dilemma: if you met someone on a blind date and they showed up in a wheelchair without telling you, would that make you feel some type of way? Listen in to see what happened and how we weigh in…</p>yes01:02:255SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS!full<![CDATA[All Things Love]]>Today we dive into love: the good, the bad, and the awkward. But first…Lauren leads off with an absolute batshit banger you don’t wanna miss (dog parks can be a very unhinged place with very unhinged people...). After everyone's heart rate regulates, we jump into the meat and potatoes - love. From awkward dating stories, to how we all ended up with our significant others, we give you the inside scoop into our love lives. We end the episode with an interesting dilemma: someone is experiencing underwhelm in their relationship. Should there be more spark? Or are they just confusing chemistry with anxiety? Listen in to see what happened and how we weigh in…


Chapters

  • 00:00 Intro & Batshit Dog Park Story
  • 15:45 Valentine's Day
  • 36:14 Early Dating Experiences and How We Met Our Partners
  • 45:57 Bad Dating Stories
  • 01:09:03 Dilemma and Unhinged Advice
]]>92571a05-028e-461c-b0be-8ed843d1da4cThu, 19 Feb 2026 21:00:00 GMT<p>Today we dive into love: the good, the bad, and the awkward. But first…Lauren leads off with an absolute batshit banger you don’t wanna miss (dog parks can be a very unhinged place with very unhinged people...). After everyone's heart rate regulates, we jump into the meat and potatoes - love. From awkward dating stories, to how we all ended up with our significant others, we give you the inside scoop into our love lives. We end the episode with an interesting dilemma: someone is experiencing underwhelm in their relationship. Should there be more spark? Or are they just confusing chemistry with anxiety? Listen in to see what happened and how we weigh in…</p><p><br />Chapters</p><ul><li>00:00 Intro &amp; Batshit Dog Park Story</li><li>15:45 Valentine's Day</li><li>36:14 Early Dating Experiences and How We Met Our Partners</li><li>45:57 Bad Dating Stories</li><li>01:09:03 Dilemma and Unhinged Advice</li></ul>yes01:02:034All Things Lovefull<![CDATA[Hot Takes: Jeans, Airplanes, & Workout Classes]]>Today we dive into some piping hot takes. But first…Abbey leads off with an absolute batshit banger you don’t wanna miss (shaving someone’s pubes always leaves the door open for batshittery to occur). After we pick our jaws back off the floor, we jump into the meat and potatoes - the hot takes. From airport behavior, to jeans, we rip into some really controversial topics. We end the episode with a really uncomfy dilemma: p*rn blasting through a connected bluetooth speaker. What should this person do?? Listen in to see what we think….

]]>fb029230-368f-4e34-a9b0-a40cc16a6e01Thu, 12 Feb 2026 21:00:00 GMT<p>Today we dive into some piping hot takes. But first…Abbey leads off with an absolute batshit banger you don’t wanna miss (shaving someone’s pubes always leaves the door open for batshittery to occur). After we pick our jaws back off the floor, we jump into the meat and potatoes - the hot takes. From airport behavior, to jeans, we rip into some really controversial topics. We end the episode with a really uncomfy dilemma: p*rn blasting through a connected bluetooth speaker. What should this person do?? Listen in to see what we think….</p>no00:53:48Hot Takes: Jeans, Airplanes, & Workout Classesfull<![CDATA[What It's Like to be a Girl]]>The episode begins with all three catching up and a discussion about the full moon. The episode then transitions to something Borderline Batshit Michael experienced. The three hosts then dive into a deeper exploration of the emotional and physical effects of being a woman, including the luteal phase and its impact on behavior and mood. The conversation covers a range of topics including gender differences, bodily functions, societal norms, mood swings, and women's health. Humor and candidness are prevalent throughout, creating an engaging and informative dialogue. The discussion delves into the use of menstrual products, misconceptions about birth control, and the importance of setting boundaries in friendships. Additionally, the conversation explores the challenges of parenting and the dynamics of raising children of different genders.

Takeaways

* Impact of the full moon on sleep
* The emotional and physical effects of menstruation
* Menstrual humor
* Gender differences
* Relationship dynamics
* Menstrual products and birth control
* Navigating friendships and boundaries
* Parenting and gender dynamics


Chapters
* 00:00 The full moon & Borderline Batshit Segment
* 09:06 The Impact of Menstruation
* 15:59 Understanding the Luteal Phase
* 21:40 Bodily Functions
* 28:13 Gender Norms
* 33:22 Friendship and Support
* 44:05 Navigating Friendships and Boundaries
* 53:38 Parenting and Gender Dynamics

Takeaways

  • Menstrual cycle impact
  • Humor as coping mechanism Menstrual humor
  • Gender differences
  • Relationship dynamics Menstrual products and birth control
  • Navigating friendships and boundaries
  • Parenting and gender dynamics
]]>1f37aa18-3f97-41d8-a525-111b55e68497Thu, 05 Feb 2026 21:00:00 GMT<p>The episode begins with all three catching up and a discussion about the full moon. The episode then transitions to something Borderline Batshit Michael experienced. The three hosts then dive into a deeper exploration of the emotional and physical effects of being a woman, including the luteal phase and its impact on behavior and mood. The conversation covers a range of topics including gender differences, bodily functions, societal norms, mood swings, and women's health. Humor and candidness are prevalent throughout, creating an engaging and informative dialogue. The discussion delves into the use of menstrual products, misconceptions about birth control, and the importance of setting boundaries in friendships. Additionally, the conversation explores the challenges of parenting and the dynamics of raising children of different genders.<br /><br />Takeaways<br /><br />* Impact of the full moon on sleep<br />* The emotional and physical effects of menstruation<br />* Menstrual humor<br />* Gender differences<br />* Relationship dynamics<br />* Menstrual products and birth control<br />* Navigating friendships and boundaries<br />* Parenting and gender dynamics<br /><br /><br />Chapters<br />* 00:00 The full moon &amp; Borderline Batshit Segment<br />* 09:06 The Impact of Menstruation<br />* 15:59 Understanding the Luteal Phase<br />* 21:40 Bodily Functions<br />* 28:13 Gender Norms<br />* 33:22 Friendship and Support<br />* 44:05 Navigating Friendships and Boundaries<br />* 53:38 Parenting and Gender Dynamics</p><p></p><p>Takeaways</p><ul><li>Menstrual cycle impact</li><li>Humor as coping mechanism Menstrual humor</li><li>Gender differences</li><li>Relationship dynamics Menstrual products and birth control</li><li>Navigating friendships and boundaries</li><li>Parenting and gender dynamics</li></ul>yes00:46:252What It's Like to be a Girlfull<![CDATA[How Do I Know You Again...?]]>The conversation begins with the origin story of the podcast, detailing how the idea was conceived and the initial reactions of both Abbey and Michael. We talk about childhood memories, school experiences, and the impact of some traumatic experiences on our self-image. Wanna know our love languages and who would survive a zombie apocalypse? Press play!

Takeaways

  • Podcast origin story
  • Investment in podcasting Childhood memories and experiences
  • Friendship dynamics and inside jokes Love languages and relationships
  • Childhood memories and friendships

Chapters

  • 00:00 Podcast Origin Story
  • 05:00 Investment in Podcasting
  • 17:30 Childhood Memories and Achievements
  • 25:40 The Genesis of the Podcast and Relationship Dynamics
  • 32:16 Understanding Friendship Dynamics and Love Languages
  • 39:04 Childhood Memories and Friendships
]]>35652a42-a5d5-45a5-9b8b-004ce2840d44Wed, 28 Jan 2026 22:20:24 GMT<p>The conversation begins with the origin story of the podcast, detailing how the idea was conceived and the initial reactions of both Abbey and Michael. We talk about childhood memories, school experiences, and the impact of some traumatic experiences on our self-image. Wanna know our love languages and who would survive a zombie apocalypse? Press play!</p><p></p><p>Takeaways</p><ul><li>Podcast origin story</li><li>Investment in podcasting Childhood memories and experiences</li><li>Friendship dynamics and inside jokes Love languages and relationships</li><li>Childhood memories and friendships</li></ul><p></p><p>Chapters</p><ul><li>00:00 Podcast Origin Story</li><li>05:00 Investment in Podcasting</li><li>17:30 Childhood Memories and Achievements</li><li>25:40 The Genesis of the Podcast and Relationship Dynamics</li><li>32:16 Understanding Friendship Dynamics and Love Languages</li><li>39:04 Childhood Memories and Friendships</li></ul>yes00:51:271How Do I Know You Again...?full