Please vote for me here, it’s free and easy! https://tophost.org/2026/sarah-wilder

What if you could be romantically involved with someone for two and a half years and never once call them your partner? 

Astrologer Danielle of Sparky Spirit shares her long-distance, slow-burn, unlabeled relationship, and why she went from "can we define this?" to sitting in the unknown to see what happens. We compare notes on non-traditional relationships (mine is slow and unlabeled too), how to negotiate what you each need, and how to keep your freedom while staying deeply bonded. 

We also get into new relationship energy, why women tend to bond fast and men bond over time, whether introducing your person to your friends early is smart vetting or a setup for an echo chamber, and how to ask yourself where the urge to attach comes from. 

Plus: what Uranus in Gemini has to do with why we're all rethinking labels right now, how to use your astrology chart as a lens without letting it run your love life, and Sparks, the pocket astrologer Danielle built. 

About our guest Danielle:

Danielle is a professional Astrologer of five years who is bridging the gap between ancient cosmic wisdom and modern science and technology. Her work focuses on empowering people to use the cosmos as a vibrational modality for self-development, awareness, and neuroplasticity. As the creator of Sparks, an innovative AI-powered astrology agent, she's refining a tool that makes deep, personalized astrology affordable and accessible to anyone, anytime.

www.sparkyspirit.life

https://www.youtube.com/@sparkyspirit

About your host Sarah:

I'm a Board Certified Sexologist, Attachment Coach Tantrika who spent years healing from abuse, heartbreak, and disconnection before discovering that pleasure and presence are actually possible... for everyone. 

Through my own messy, transformational journey across Tantra, somatic healing, and attachment work, I learned that you can actually heal your core wounds and come home to your body and desires in ways that feel good. 

Now I help individuals and couples do the same—whether they're navigating perimenopausal changes, untangling relationship patterns, or simply wanting to feel more alive in their sex lives and beyond. I believe in showing up vulnerably, getting real about what's not working, and offering actual tools that create lasting change. Because sometimes that standard advice doesn't work for you, it didn't for me.

http://www.wildrelating.com

Curious to learn more about working together? Book a free 30 min call to learn more on the website.

intro music from Transistor and licensed through Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

Michael opens up about his semen retention journey: why a breakup sent him down this path, what it did for his confidence and discipline, and what it felt like to "relapse" (a word we both wish we could retire). 

We get into porn addiction rewiring, the pressure and shame around counting streaks, and whether the retention community has gotten a little militant. 

Then we talk masculine and feminine energy and dynamics, and why he thinks men need to step up. 

Curious, skeptical, or loving someone on a semen retention streak? Let me know what you think of this conversation!

About our guest Michael Lynn, IHP

Instagram: @deeproothealth

About your host Sarah:

I'm a Board Certified Sexologist, Attachment Coach Tantrika who spent years healing from abuse, heartbreak, and disconnection before discovering that pleasure and presence are actually possible... for everyone. 

Through my own messy, transformational journey across Tantra, somatic healing, and attachment work, I learned that you can actually heal your core wounds and come home to your body and desires in ways that feel good. 

Now I help individuals and couples do the same—whether they're navigating perimenopausal changes, untangling relationship patterns, or simply wanting to feel more alive in their sex lives and beyond. I believe in showing up vulnerably, getting real about what's not working, and offering actual tools that create lasting change. Because sometimes that standard advice doesn't work for you, it didn't for me.

website: http://www.wildrelating.com

Curious to learn more about working together? Book a free 30 min call to learn more on the website.

intro music from Transistor and licensed through Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

I talk with holistic nutritionist Jen Mullen of Arouse Wellness about how chronic stress is one of the biggest libido killers, and how your body decides whether it's safe or in scarcity based on how (and whether) you eat. 

We get into low libido in perimenopause, hormones and HRT, blood flow and arousal, what to eat, and the women's health education gap nobody warned us about. 

Then Jen shares five easy things you can start right away to start seeing your sex drive come back.

Pleasure snacks, and "libido maxing”? Yes please. Grab a glass of water first. ;)

About our guest Jen Mullen, NTM, RHP, Whole Food Chef

I’m a Nutrition Therapist Master, Restorative Health Practitioner, private chef, and founder of Arouse Wellness.

But more importantly, I’m someone who understands how frustrating it can feel when you’re doing so many things “right” and still don’t quite feel like yourself.

I created Arouse Wellness because I believe our energy, confidence, connection, and sexual wellness are not separate from our overall health. They’re deeply connected to how nourished, supported, balanced, and safe we feel in our bodies.

My work is about helping you understand those connections, and creating a personalized path back to feeling vibrant, connected, and fully yourself.

Link for the Group hybrid program: https://www.arousewellness.com/pleasure-blueprint-collective-page

About your host Sarah:

I'm a Board Certified Sexologist, Attachment Coach Tantrika who spent years healing from abuse, heartbreak, and disconnection before discovering that pleasure and presence are actually possible... for everyone. 

Through my own messy, transformational journey across Tantra, somatic healing, and attachment work, I learned that you can actually heal your core wounds and come home to your body and desires in ways that feel good. 

Now I help individuals and couples do the same—whether they're navigating perimenopausal changes, untangling relationship patterns, or simply wanting to feel more alive in their sex lives and beyond. I believe in showing up vulnerably, getting real about what's not working, and offering actual tools that create lasting change. Because sometimes that standard advice doesn't work for you, it didn't for me.

website: http://www.wildrelating.com

Curious to learn more about working together? Book a free 30 min call to learn more on the website.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_becomingwilder

intro music from Transistor and licensed through Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

In this episode, I talk with Beth French of Holistic Tantra to dig into a theory most people have never heard: that circumcision itself may be a major driver of the orgasm gap between men and women. 

We get into the book “As Nature Intended It” that changed how Beth thinks about pleasure, the difference between "thrusting" and the slower, more connective movement that actually stimulates the clitoris, and why so many women spend years faking it without even realizing there was another way. 

We also talk about learning to receive pleasure instead of just giving it, the breathwork technique that helped Beth reconnect with her body without relying on a vibrator, how nonviolent communication transformed the way both of us ask for what we need, and why jealousy might actually be pointing you toward an unmet need instead of something to be ashamed of. 

This one gets personal, fast (you’re welcome), and it might change how you think about your next sexual experience.

About our guest:

Beth French is a Board Certified Sexologist and Certified Tibetan 5-Element Tantra Practitioner who is passionate about helping women understand their bodies, reconnect with pleasure, and experience greater freedom and confidence in their intimate lives.

Through Holistic Tantra, she blends modern science with ancient Tantra practices to explore the connection between the nervous system, emotional well-being, intimacy, and pleasure.

A central part of Beth’s work is helping women understand their full pleasure anatomy and potential while bringing greater awareness to the orgasm gap between men and women. Her work is rooted in the belief that knowledge, self-understanding, and embodied practices can open the door to deeper connection, healing, and vitality.

Website: holistictantra.org
Instagram: @holistictantra_

About your host Sarah:

I'm a Board Certified Sexologist, Attachment Coach Tantrika who spent years healing from abuse, heartbreak, and disconnection before discovering that pleasure and presence are actually possible... for everyone. 

Through my own messy, transformational journey across Tantra, somatic healing, and attachment work, I learned that you can actually heal your core wounds and come home to your body and desires in ways that feel good. 

Now I help individuals and couples do the same—whether they're navigating perimenopausal changes, untangling relationship patterns, or simply wanting to feel more alive in their sex lives and beyond. I believe in showing up vulnerably, getting real about what's not working, and offering actual tools that create lasting change. Because sometimes that standard advice doesn't work for you, it didn't for me.

website: http://www.wildrelating.com

Curious to learn more about working together? Book a free 30 min call to learn more on the website.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_becomingwilder

intro music from Transistor and licensed through Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

We get into everything: why the lube sitting in your bathroom cabinet right now might actually be hurting you (glycerin is doing more damage than you think), how to actually vet a sex toy instead of trusting flashy packaging, and why "orgasm chasing" is keeping so many people from real pleasure. 

Stevie walks us through their favorites, from beginner-friendly dildos to the toy every body should try at least once, and we get into the wild world of butt plug anatomy, multiple orgasms for every gender, and why your orgasms are basically a free pelvic floor workout. 

Whether you're toy-shopping for the first time or you've got a drawer full of them already, this episode is full of practical, judgment-free wisdom you can use today.

About our guest Stevie:

Stevie Wilke (they/them/elle) is a sex educator based out of Albuquerque, NM, located on Tiwa homelands. They have run Self Serve Toys & Sexuality Resource Center for the last 5 years. Self Serve is a small, local, and feminist business that has devoted their work to making pleasure and sex education accessible and fun for everybody and to creating a safe, inclusive, and community-driven space for people to learn about and explore their sexuality. 

They offer positive, consent-driven, inclusive sex education for people of all genders, relationship status, orientation & more. on a daily basis and are happy to answer your burning questions about safer sex and relationships.

Website: https://selfservetoys.com

Resources: https://selfservetoys.com/pages/toy-clean-care-basics

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/selfservetoys?stkn=M3k3YnltZmVhbTY0

About your host Sarah:

I'm a Board Certified Sexologist, Attachment Coach Tantrika who spent years healing from abuse, heartbreak, and disconnection before discovering that pleasure and presence are actually possible... for everyone. 

Through my own messy, transformational journey across Tantra, somatic healing, and attachment work, I learned that you can actually heal your core wounds and come home to your body and desires in ways that feel good. 

Now I help individuals and couples do the same—whether they're navigating perimenopausal changes, untangling relationship patterns, or simply wanting to feel more alive in their sex lives and beyond. I believe in showing up vulnerably, getting real about what's not working, and offering actual tools that create lasting change. Because sometimes that standard advice doesn't work for you, it didn't for me.

website: http://www.wildrelating.com

Curious to learn more about working together? Book a free 30 min call to learn more on the website.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_becomingwilder

intro music from Transistor and licensed through Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

You'll learn the red flags to spot in the first 3-4 months of dating that mean you should walk away fast, how travel reveals true character, the difference between someone being uncomfortable and someone controlling you, and concrete neuroplasticity techniques to rewire your brain and finally break free.

Whether you're stuck on the wrong person, questioning a new relationship, or healing from a toxic dynamic, this conversation offers both insight and practical next steps.

Sherry Gilbert has been helping clients transform their lives through hypnotherapy since 2001. She is a certified hypnotherapist through the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association (IMDHA) and the International Association of Counselors and Therapists (IACT).

In addition to her work as a hypnotherapist, Sherry is a communication coach and relationship specialist trained through the Gottman Institute. She also holds a degree in Holistic Health, bringing a well-rounded, integrative approach to her work with clients.

Sherry specializes in helping clients navigate anxiety, trauma, relationships, communication challenges, life transitions, and personal growth. She is known for combining practical, evidence-informed techniques with compassionate, client-centered care to help people create meaningful, lasting change.

Whether she is working one-on-one with clients, presenting at professional conferences, or mentoring fellow practitioners, Sherry’s mission remains the same: to empower people with practical skills, compassionate support, and the confidence to create lasting transformation.

About your host Sarah:

I'm a Board Certified Sexologist, Attachment Coach Tantrika who spent years healing from abuse, heartbreak, and disconnection before discovering that pleasure and presence are actually possible... for everyone. 

Through my own messy, transformational journey across Tantra, somatic healing, and attachment work, I learned that you can actually heal your core wounds and come home to your body and desires in ways that feel good. 

Now I help individuals and couples do the same—whether they're navigating perimenopausal changes, untangling relationship patterns, or simply wanting to feel more alive in their sex lives and beyond. I believe in showing up vulnerably, getting real about what's not working, and offering actual tools that create lasting change. Because sometimes that standard advice doesn't work for you, it didn't for me.

website: http://www.wildrelating.com

Curious to learn more about working together? Book a free 30 min call to learn more on the website.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_becomingwilder

intro music from Transistor and licensed through Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

We talk about the neuroscience behind why it happens, what it's really telling you about what's missing in your relationship, and how a couple I worked with moved from stuck to deeply connected by addressing the real need underneath. 

This is really about reclaiming self-expression and learning to ask for what you actually want. Most of us were taught to suppress our desires early on. By adulthood, we don't even know what we want anymore. And that disconnection from ourselves? That's where everything gets stuck.

Whether you're the one using porn or the partner who's bothered by it, this episode will shift how you see the whole thing.

So if you're dealing with this in your relationship (or noticing it in yourself), this is your invitation: get curious. Talk to your partner. See each other. The porn isn't the problem—it's just the messenger.

Resources & Concepts Mentioned:

• Dr. Patrick Carnes' work on sex addiction
• Dr. McCauley's "Pleasure Unwoven" on addiction as a brain disease
• Emotion-Focused Couples Counseling (Dr. Sue Johnson)
• Gottman's Couples Counseling & the concept of "openness to influence"
• Dr. Lemke's "Dopamine Nation"

The goal? Relationships where both people feel seen, desired, and free to be exactly who they are.

That's what Becoming Wilder is all about.

Meet Karasu:

Karasu started work in mental health in 2016 and has extensive experience working with men in defining and claiming healthy masculinity. He has understanding and training working with a variety of topics related to intimacy, including communication, boundaries, infidelity, betrayal, trauma, and paraphilias. 

Regardless of sexual preference or behavior, he approaches therapy from a sex positive and kink-affirming stance. He works at Flagtown Therapy and offers outpatient services to the Flagstaff community. 

Find Karasu on Psychology today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/karasu-joshua-tokioka-flagstaff-az/1560127

About your host Sarah:

I'm a Board Certified Sexologist, Attachment Coach Tantrika who spent years healing from abuse, heartbreak, and disconnection before discovering that pleasure and presence are actually possible... for everyone. 

Through my own messy, transformational journey across Tantra, somatic healing, and attachment work, I learned that you can actually heal your core wounds and come home to your body and desires in ways that feel good. 

Now I help individuals and couples do the same—whether they're navigating perimenopausal changes, untangling relationship patterns, or simply wanting to feel more alive in their sex lives and beyond. I believe in showing up vulnerably, getting real about what's not working, and offering actual tools that create lasting change. Because sometimes that standard advice doesn't work for you, it didn't for me.

website: http://www.wildrelating.com

Curious to learn more about working together? Book a free 30 min call to learn more on the website.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_becomingwilder

intro music from Transistor and licensed through Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

I didn't have my first orgasm until I was 35—and what I learned along the way completely transformed how I experience pleasure. 

In this episode, I'm sharing exactly why you might not be having orgasms (spoiler: it's not your body's fault), the physical adjustments and somatic practices that changed everything for me, and the real reason patience and removing pressure is the biggest unlock. 

You'll discover the many types of orgasms your body is capable of, how to communicate what you actually want, and some practical solo and partnered practices you can start using today. 

If you're ready to stop chasing peak moments and start experiencing pleasure as it was meant to be, let's get into it!

01:05 - What orgasm is and the many ways bodies can experience it

04:29 - Challenging myths that limit expectations around female pleasure

06:33 - Why slowing down is essential for arousal

09:13 - When being in your body does not feel safe

19:43 - Why taking orgasm off the table can help it happen

22:20 - Rebuilding sexual connection in a long-term relationship

23:20 - Why scheduling sex can create anticipation rather than pressure

29:52 - A one-minute sensory awareness exercise

33:06 - Using all five senses to increase aliveness

41:06 - The hand massage exercise for better communication

45:21 - Practicing feedback in a low-stakes setting

48:12 - Continuing conversations about sex outside the bedroom

intro music from Transistor and licensed through Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

We also get into our first threesomes and give practical advice for how to explore this and other first in your own life.

About our guest Bee:

Bee is an intimacy coach passionate about helping people feel more connected and alive in their bodies, relationships, and desires. After traveling for a year in Asia, she could see that the connections we have with one another are what make our lives juicy and joyful. Upon returning to the states, she pursued training to become an intimacy coach through the Somatica Institute.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hive_intimacy/

website: https://www.hiveintimacy.com/

About your host Sarah:

I'm a Board Certified Sexologist, Attachment Coach Tantrika who spent years healing from abuse, heartbreak, and disconnection before discovering that pleasure and presence are actually possible... for everyone. 

Through my own messy, transformational journey across Tantra, somatic healing, and attachment work, I learned that you can actually heal your core wounds and come home to your body and desires in ways that feel good. 

Now I help individuals and couples do the same—whether they're navigating perimenopausal changes, untangling relationship patterns, or simply wanting to feel more alive in their sex lives and beyond. I believe in showing up vulnerably, getting real about what's not working, and offering actual tools that create lasting change. Because sometimes that standard advice doesn't work for you, it didn't for me.

Connect with Sarah:

website: http://www.wildrelating.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_becomingwilder

intro music from Transistor and licensed through Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.