The Weighted Blanket

It Was Never About the Kitchen

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 22 Sep 2026 17:00:00 GMT

My husband said the kitchen was a mess. I went straight into fight mode — not irritated, properly braced, like something was incoming and I needed to get in first.

He hadn't said anything about me. I knew that even while it was happening. But the sensible part of me was nowhere near the steering wheel.

This episode is about rejection sensitive dysphoria — RSD — and what it's like to be someone who was called dramatic and emotional for about three decades before anyone offered a different word. It starts with a sentence somebody said to me when I was a child: "Oh dear, now let's all wait for the waterworks." I can still tell you the room.

I talk about the words that do it every time, why an explanation isn't the same as an excuse, what I'm trying with my own children, and the thing I got wrong for years — looking for the one big event that explained me, when it was never one thing. It's tens of thousands of small ones.

I haven't cracked it. I still can't stop it taking over. What's changed is what I do afterwards.

A note on RSD: it's a term that's grown up in the ADHD community and among some clinicians, and it describes something a lot of us recognise instantly — but it isn't a formal diagnosis and it isn't in the diagnostic manuals. It's a word that helps us understand ourselves. It isn't currently a word the system uses.

If you've got a sentence someone said to you that you can still hear, tell me in the comments. I read every one, and I suspect a lot of us are carrying one.

—

THE TWO-CIRCLE RESET
Five minutes to work out what's actually yours to carry right now and what isn't, for days when it's all a bit too much. Free.
https://the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/5minreset?src=yt

THE COMMUNITY
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
ADHD Chatter — Alex Partridge's podcast
Now It All Makes Sense https://amzn.to/4All8WM

Why Does Everybody Hate Me? https://amzn.to/3VBRgFE — both Alex Partridge. Genuinely relatable, especially in that first year after diagnosis.

IF YOU NEED SUPPORT
Your GP · ADHD UK — adhduk.co.uk · Mind — mind.org.uk

—

Everything else — podcast, community, links: https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket
https://theweightedblanket.co.uk
hello@theweightedblanket.co.uk

The Weighted Blanket is a podcast about neurodivergence, late diagnosis and raising neurodivergent children. I'm Claire — late-diagnosed ADHD, mum of three, still working most of this out. New episodes every Tuesday at 6pm.

You're not alone. I'll see you in the next one.

#RSD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #ADHD #LateDiagnosis #ADHDinWomen #Neurodivergent #ActuallyADHD #ADHDatHome

I Scored 31% On My Own Home Assessment | Zoe Aspinall on Environment, Overwhelm & Late Diagnosis

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 15 Sep 2026 17:00:00 GMT

Zoe Aspinall spent years in classrooms watching children get blamed for struggling. Then her own son was diagnosed as autistic and ADHD, she started questioning herself, and she realised her family was neurodivergent. So she went and did a neuroscience degree to find out what was actually going on. What she found became the Ecological Inclusion Framework — a way of measuring how much your environment is quietly draining you, across six domains. Her line is simple: we keep chipping away at the square peg when we should be changing the shape of the hole.

Before we recorded, I took her free home assessment. I scored 31%, with my Cognitive-Executive domain down at 11%. We go through what that actually means — and why a low score says nothing about you and everything about the room you're sitting in. This one is for anyone stuck on a waiting list with nothing to do but wait.

WE TALK ABOUT

- Why "turn it off if you're not using it" is the highest-impact change most families never make

- The six ecological domains, in plain English

- What a low Cognitive-Executive score looks like in a real home

- Why "if it's not in my calendar, it doesn't exist" changed how Zoe lives - Allostatic load, prediction error, and the Coke can model

- Why looking after yourself isn't indulgence — it's co-regulation

- What to ask yourself tonight, before you take any assessment

FIND ZOE

Website and free assessments: https://www.neuroinclusive.uk

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@neuroinclusiveuk?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

Email: admin@neuroinclusive.uk HER BOOK "Designing Homes for All Brains: The Ecological Inclusion Framework for Parents and Carers" Order direct: https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=v1fHjocbcdNjDhvN2Z0ed9NmF2WlUBDBEhWWzjzQ5Ku 10% off - ends 11 October 2026. Also available on Amazon, though Zoe earns less that way.

TAKE THE ASSESSMENT YOURSELF

Parents: https://www.neuroinclusive.uk/assess/parent/

Adults: https://www.neuroinclusive.uk/assess/individual/

ABOUT THE SHOW The Weighted Blanket is a podcast about neurodivergence, late diagnosis and raising neurodivergent children. I'm Claire — late-diagnosed ADHD, mum of three, and still working most of this out. New episodes every Tuesday at 6pm. https://theweightedblanket.co.uk You don't have to go through this alone.

The Argument Arrived Two Hours Late, in the Car

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 08 Sep 2026 17:00:00 GMT

UPDATE: Ofcom have now confirmed 10,217 complaints about The Great ADHD Myth? — 9,656 in the first week, plus 561 since. ADHD UK's survey figures quoted in this episode (1,566 respondents) remain the published numbers.

Someone very close to me asked if I'd watched the Channel 4 documentary. I said no — I said it makes me too angry. And then I was told I should watch it with an open mind, and that she'd listened to my podcast with an open mind. And I said the true thing. Out loud, in front of people. And then I went quiet for the rest of the day. This episode isn't a review. I haven't watched the documentary and I'm not going to, and I explain why. It's about what happens in your body when someone who loves you asks you to be neutral about whether you're real — and about the argument that turned up two hours later, fully formed, in the car, to my husband, who already agreed with me. If you've had a version of this conversation with a parent, an in-law, a friend or someone at work — this one's for you. You're not the only one still explaining yourself to people who love you. I'm still doing it. — THE TWO-CIRCLE RESET A free five-minute reset for when you've said the thing and then gone quiet: https://the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/5minreset

A note: if this documentary has left you thinking about stopping ADHD medication, or taking your child off theirs, please speak to whoever prescribes it before you change anything. — Everything else — podcast, community, links: https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket

The Weighted Blanket is a podcast for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults and parents of neurodivergent children. I'm not an expert. I'm someone working it out, out loud, and sharing what I find. New episodes every Tuesday. hello@theweightedblanket.co.uk #ADHD #LateDiagnosis #Neurodivergent #ActuallyADHD #ADHDinWomen

I Do Trauma Therapy While Already Burnt Out. Here's the Cost.

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 25 Aug 2026 17:00:00 GMT

Nobody really talks about the days after.

There's plenty out there about starting therapy — finding the right person, whether it works, what happens in the room. There's almost nothing about the Wednesday. Or the Thursday. Or, on a bad one, the Friday as well.

I'm doing EMDR in the middle of ADHD burnout, which is not an order anyone would have recommended. In this episode I talk about what the days after a session actually look like when you're neurodivergent and already running on empty — the walk that takes ten minutes to start working, the exhaustion that feels like a marathon with no location, the executive function that was already the first thing to go, and the mask I put on in my own house on my worst days.

I don't tie it up. I'm still in it.

Free 5-minute Two-Circle Reset → https://the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/5minreset
Join the community → https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/
Everything else → https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket

A note before you listen: this episode discusses therapy, trauma processing, panic attacks and burnout. Nothing in it is medical advice — I'm not a therapist or a doctor, just someone in the middle of it. EMDR isn't right for everyone and should only be done with a qualified, trained therapist. Having ADHD or being autistic doesn't mean you have trauma or need EMDR; these are separate things. If anything here brings something up for you, please speak to your GP.

Support:
Your GP · Mind — mind.org.uk · EMDR Association UK — emdrassociation.org.uk · BACP — bacp.co.uk

The Weighted Blanket is a podcast for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults and parents of neurodivergent children. New episodes every Tuesday.

📧 hello@theweightedblanket.co.uk

They Told Me My Child Was Fine. She Wasn't.

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 18 Aug 2026 17:00:00 GMT

When Kate's youngest was five years old, the school removed her fidget toy. She let herself back into the building, climbed on the teacher's desk, and took it back. And somehow — she was the problem.

That's where Kate Jennings' story begins. A SEN mum, a neurodivergent woman, and someone who spent years being told her children's needs weren't serious enough — until the day she sat on her sofa while her house fell apart around her and realised she had nothing left.

She pulled her children out of school, spent six months just reconnecting as a family, and then studied SEN Law so she could fight back. Now she helps other parents do the same — as the founder of SEND Defender.

In this episode Kate and I talk about what the SEND system actually does to families, why 97% of parents who reach tribunal win (and why that's the scandal, not the solution), what schools are legally required to provide but routinely don't, and the two things Kate wishes every parent knew from the start.

If you're in the middle of this right now — this one's for you. You don't have to figure it out alone.

Find Kate:
senddefender.co.uk
Free SEND guide — linked on her site
@send_defender on TikTok and Instagram

For The Weighted Blanket:

They Called Me a Drama Queen. It Was ADHD

Claire De Oliveira — Thu, 06 Aug 2026 17:00:00 GMT

I got called a drama queen for years, in a job I was genuinely good at. This week I tell the story of how I earned that reputation — the promotion that vanished, the Beyoncé strut, "you may never see me again" — and what a decade and a diagnosis taught me about what was actually going on.

I also dig into the new Neurodiversity in Business × Birkbeck (University of London) 2026 report: why 61% of neurodivergent people who leave corporate life say they'd never go back, why psychological safety hasn't improved since 2023, and the finding that made me laugh out loud — 66% of neurodivergent self-employed people say the hardest part is the social media.

This one's about work, masking, burnout, and what I'm building next — honestly, including the fear.

Research referenced: NiB × Birkbeck Research Report 2026 · BBC News, 25 Jul 2026 ("ADHD has rewired the workplace") · Lancet Regional Health Europe · King's College London

🧺 Free resource — the Two-Circle Reset (5 minutes to put something down): linktr.ee/theweightedblanket
👥 The Weighted Blanket Community: facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292
📩 Newsletter: the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/a94e837f2d
📧 hello@theweightedblanket.co.uk

I Wasn’t Failing — I Was Autistic

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 11 Aug 2026 17:00:00 GMT

For most of her life, Hannah Wells believed the things she struggled with were caused by anxiety.

Then, while researching autistic children for her master’s degree, she began recognising her own experiences on every page.

In this episode, Hannah joins me to talk about receiving an autism diagnosis as an adult, the exhaustion of masking and the relief of finally understanding that she was never a failed version of a neurotypical person.

Hannah is a SEND practitioner who has spent years supporting neurodivergent children in mainstream education. Her master’s research explored whether the voices of autistic children are truly being heard in mainstream Reception classrooms. Her dissertation received the highest mark awarded on the course and is now used as a benchmark example for future students.

We discuss:

• Why the pandemic felt unexpectedly freeing
• Being diagnosed with anxiety before recognising autism
• Why phone calls can be so difficult for autistic people
• Masking at work and falling apart somewhere private
• What happened when Hannah disclosed her diagnosis at school
• The difference between challenging behaviour and dysregulation
• Why consistency and predictability matter in education
• Whether children are disabled by autism or by their environment
• Helping neurodivergent children develop their own voice
• Raising autistic children with greater self-understanding
• Letting go of the pressure to appear neurotypical

Hannah also shares how her own painful experiences at school now shape the way she supports children—and why something as simple as a quiet space, a weighted blanket or permission to step away can completely change a child’s experience.

You can find Hannah and her artwork here:

Website: linktr.ee/thepotterspalette

Patreon: http://patreon.com/thepotterspostclub

The Weighted Blanket is a space for honest conversations about neurodivergence, parenting, identity and everything we are still learning about ourselves.

Subscribe for a new episode each week.

Instagram: @theweightedblanketpodcast

I Thought I’d Moved On. EMDR Showed Me I Hadn’t.

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 28 Jul 2026 17:00:00 GMT

There are things we think we have filed away.

Old experiences. Old shame. Old fear. Old versions of ourselves we thought we had moved on from.

But sometimes, through therapy, diagnosis, or a moment of stillness, that drawer opens again — and we realise those things were not really gone. They were just waiting.

In this solo episode of The Weighted Blanket, I’m talking honestly about EMDR, ADHD and trauma from my own personal experience.

This is not medical advice and it is not a recommendation. It is simply one neurodivergent woman sharing what EMDR has been like for her, why I started exploring trauma therapy after my ADHD diagnosis, and how old experiences can still shape the way we live, parent, work and respond to the world.

I talk about:

• What EMDR is in plain English
• Why I moved from CBT into trauma-focused work
• ADHD, RSD and emotional sensitivity
• The body’s response to old memories
• Why therapy can feel raw after a session
• Perfectionism, overworking and childhood beliefs
• Why trauma and ADHD can feel tangled together
• How EMDR is helping me understand what is me and what was masking
• Why therapy should always be done with a qualified professional
• What I want my children to grow up knowing about support, emotions and self-worth

This episode includes discussion of trauma and therapy, so please look after yourself while listening. If this feels too tender today, it is completely okay to skip it and come back when you feel ready.

If anything in this episode resonates with you, please speak to a qualified professional such as your GP, therapist or trauma specialist. Do not try to open difficult memories alone.

You are not broken. You are not too much. And you are not alone.

MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT

If this episode brings anything up for you, please reach out for support.

Mind:
https://www.mind.org.uk/

Samaritans:
Call 116 123 free, any time, day or night.
https://www.samaritans.org/

Shout:
Text SHOUT to 85258 for free, confidential text support in the UK.
https://giveusashout.org/

If you feel at immediate risk or unsafe, call 999 or go to A&E.

EMDR INFORMATION

EMDR Association UK:
https://emdrassociation.org.uk/

Find an EMDR therapist:
https://map.emdrassociation.org.uk/

NICE PTSD guidance:
https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng116

JOIN THE WEIGHTED BLANKET COMMUNITY

Facebook Community:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/

Newsletter:
https://the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/a94e837f2d

All Links:
https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket

QUESTION FOR YOU

What do you wish someone had told you before you had to figure it out the hard way?

Come and tell me in The Weighted Blanket Community.

Diagnosed With ADHD at 34: "My Brain Finally Went Quiet" 1

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 21 Jul 2026 17:00:00 GMT

Geoff spent 34 years not knowing why his brain worked the way it did.

He was not the stereotypical hyperactive child. He was inattentive, masking, trying to fit in, and quietly carrying the emotional weight of undiagnosed ADHD.

In this episode of The Weighted Blanket, I speak to Geoff — a lorry driver, dad of two, and late-diagnosed ADHD adult — about what it felt like to finally understand his brain after decades of impulsivity, RSD, burnout, dopamine chasing and self-blame.

Geoff shares what led him to seek an ADHD assessment, why he chose to go private after being told the NHS wait could be four to five years, and what changed when he started Elvanse.

We talk about:

• Being diagnosed with ADHD at 34
• Inattentive ADHD and why it can be missed
• Masking through childhood and school
• RSD, jealousy, shame and emotional loops
• Dopamine chasing, impulsivity and burnout
• The grief that can follow a late ADHD diagnosis
• ADHD medication and the moment his brain went quiet
• ADHD coaching and practical strategies
• Hiking, nature and mental wellbeing
• Why sharing lived experience matters

This conversation is for anyone who has ever been told they are “too much,” “too sensitive,” “silly,” “lazy,” or “just a bit chaotic.”

It is also for anyone wondering whether ADHD might explain parts of their life they have never been able to make sense of.

Geoff’s story is honest, raw and hopeful — not because everything is fixed, but because understanding his brain has finally given him a way forward.

GUEST:

Geoff
Lorry driver, dad of two, late-diagnosed ADHD adult

Geoff’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@92grh?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

JOIN THE WEIGHTED BLANKET COMMUNITY:

Facebook Community:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/

Newsletter:
https://the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/a94e837f2d

All Links:
https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket

Listen on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/033hbR3h5qo6TD3WxWF8FL

Listen on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weighted-blanket

Why "How Do You Feel?" Doesn't Work for Neurodivergent People

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 14 Jul 2026 17:00:00 GMT

Many neurodivergent adults struggle to find words for big, complex feelings. For some of us, questions like “How do you feel?” can feel impossible to answer — not because we do not feel deeply, but because the words are not always there.

In this episode of The Weighted Blanket, I’m joined by Claire Palmer, a creative counsellor based in Norwich who specialises in working with neurodivergent adults.

We talk about why traditional talking therapy does not always work for ADHD, autistic and AuDHD adults — and how creativity, imagination and play can help people access emotions that words cannot reach.

We also explore alexithymia, intergenerational trauma, epigenetics, inner child work, neurodivergent shame, emotional language, masking, and why therapy needs to respect each person’s pace, nervous system and communication style.

This conversation is for neurodivergent adults, parents, therapists, counsellors, educators and anyone who has ever felt misunderstood because they could not explain what was happening inside.

If you have ever felt like words were not enough, this episode is for you.

Guest:
Claire Palmer — Creative Counsellor, Norwich

Claire’s links:
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@norwichcreativetherapy
Website: https://www.clairepalmercounselling.com
Email: CPCounselling@protonmail.com

Join The Weighted Blanket Community:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/

All links:
https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket

Mental health support:

Mind:
https://www.mind.org.uk/

Samaritans:
Call 116 123 free, any time, day or night.
https://www.samaritans.org/

Shout:
Text SHOUT to 85258 for free, confidential text support in the UK.
https://giveusashout.org/

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Integrative Therapy

03:04 The Role of Creativity in Therapy

05:48 Understanding Neurodivergence through Film

09:06 Navigating Therapy for Neurodivergent Clients

12:05 The Importance of Sensory Accommodations

14:59 Exploring Emotions through Sand Tray Therapy

18:06 The Challenge of Expressing Emotions

21:00 Cultural Norms and Emotional Expression

24:06 Communication and Relationships in Therapy

26:57 The Impact of Past Experiences on Present Behavior

37:00 Exploring Neurodivergence and Family Dynamics

39:54 The Evolution of Neurodivergence

46:50 Impact of the Pandemic on Neurodivergent Individuals

51:09 Transitioning from Care to Counseling

55:01 The Importance of Therapy

01:01:27 Accessing Therapy: Challenges and Solutions

01:04:55 The Relationship Between Trauma and Neurodivergence

01:11:54 Embracing Quirks and Hyperfixations

01:18:00 Parenting and Nurturing the Inner Child

01:22:06 Introduction and Connection

01:23:05 Closing Thoughts and Show Notes

01:23:19 Introduction to Claire Palmer and Her Work

01:24:34 The Power of Creative Counseling

Persistence Isn't a Problem — It's a Superpower the World Keeps Mislabelling

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 05:00:00 GMT

When my son was two years old, I gave him a book about dinosaurs — one of those Usborne lift-the-flap books with really obscure species in it. By the time he was two and three months old, he knew every single one.

During COVID, he'd run full pelt down the road on our daily walks. Roaring. Not making noise — roaring. Because he wasn't a two-year-old on a walk. He was a dinosaur.

At age five he was getting up before everyone else in the house to play Mozart on guitar. Nobody had ever taught him. He'd worked it out entirely by ear.

At age six he got a distinction in his Grade 4 classical guitar exam.

And then he stopped playing entirely.

This episode is about what happens when the world notices a gift in a neurodivergent child — and then accidentally takes it away. About the genius label and the pressure it creates. About the strategies we found to keep the love alive without the expectation. About music time with daddy, which has no grades and no rules and no agenda.

And it's about who he actually is underneath all of it. The boy who picks up bottles on forest walks because he wants to help. The boy whose goal in life is to make millions — not for himself, but to give to homeless and cancer charities.

This is for every parent who has watched the world try to point their child toward outcomes. Keep their eyes on the love. The love is the whole point.

🎙️ Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033hbR3h5qo6TD3WxWF8FL 🍎 Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weighted-blanket 👥 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/ 🔗 Everything else: https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket 📧 hello@theweightedblanket.co.uk

You are not alone. 🤍

Burnout Doesn't Look Like Falling Apart — It Looks Like Superwoman

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 02 Jun 2026 05:00:00 GMT

I lost fourteen kilograms in six months. Not because I was trying to. Because my body was the only part of me willing to say something was wrong.

I was being called Superwoman. And every single time someone said it, I felt the weight of it land. Because that's what compliments do when you're performing. They raise the floor. They tell you that this — this exhausted, crumbling, hollow version of keeping it together — is what people expect now.

This episode is about what ADHD burnout actually looks like. Not the falling apart version. The Superwoman version. The one nobody sees coming because it looks, from the outside, like thriving.

I talk about the fourteen kilograms. The IBS. The chronic headaches I convinced myself were a brain tumour. The moment I ended up in tears with my director after a meeting. The coach who asked me whether I was teaching my children that hard work gets you far — or that burnout is the price we pay.

And where I am now. Which is in recovery. Signed off. In CBT. Still figuring it out.

This one is for anyone who has ever been called Superwoman and felt worse for it.

You are not alone. 🤍

RSD: The Part of ADHD Nobody Warned Me About

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 26 May 2026 05:00:00 GMT

If you have ADHD and you've ever been called too sensitive, too emotional, too much — this episode is for you.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. RSD. It's one of the most common and least talked about parts of ADHD — and for around 30% of people with ADHD, it's the most impairing symptom of all. Not the focus issues. Not the time blindness. The emotional pain.

I've just come back from seeing Alex Partridge talk about RSD live. And I've been thinking about it ever since. Because RSD shaped so much of my life before I even knew it had a name.

In this episode I talk about what RSD actually is, what it cost me — the relationships I cut, the work meetings I cried after, the guitar my husband played for twenty minutes longer than he said he would — and what actually helps.

Because knowing the name changes everything.

You are not too sensitive. You never were. 🤍

🎙️ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033hbR3h5qo6TD3WxWF8FL 🍎 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weighted-blanket 👥 Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/ 🔗 Everything else: https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket 📧 hello@theweightedblanket.co.uk

Why I Built a Safe Space When I Couldn't Find One

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 19 May 2026 05:00:00 GMT

I was thirty-six years old when someone finally told me my brain was different. Not broken. Just different.

In this first episode I want to tell you who I am and why I built The Weighted Blanket — not the polished version, the real one. Because if we're going to build something honest together, it has to start here.

I talk about my ADHD diagnosis at 36, what thirty-six years without knowing actually cost me, my children's neurodivergent journeys — autism, AuDHD, SPD and a PDA profile — the school meetings, the suspensions, the waiting lists. And the moment I sat in a school meeting and thought: I have to build this.

This is my story. I hope it sounds a little like yours.

🎙️ Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts 👥 Join our community: https://the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/a94e837f2d 💬 Facebook: The Weighted Blanket Community 📧 hello@theweightedblanket.co.uk

You are not broken. You are not alone. The blanket is wide enough. 🤍

What 36 Years Without a Diagnosis Actually Feels Like

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 09 Jun 2026 05:00:00 GMT

I was 36 years old when someone finally told me my brain was different. Not broken. Not difficult. Not strange — even though strange was the word I'd quietly carried about myself for as long as I could remember.

Just different.

And I cried. Not because I was sad. Because I'd spent 36 years working twice as hard as everyone around me just to appear like I was keeping up. And it turned out there had always been a reason.

In this episode I talk about what the late ADHD diagnosis actually felt like — the process, the appointment, the moment the doctor said "you're not broken." The elation that came first. And the significant low that came after — the one nobody warns you about.

I talk about the identity question I'm still sitting with: what is my actual self, and what did I build because I felt like I had to? About the Ellie Middleton book that's helping me figure that out. About the guilt on the days when I can't get into anything. About titration. About what's actually changed — and what hasn't.

And about the particular experience of feeling like the odd one in every room — long before I had any idea why.

This one is for the late-diagnosed. For the people who always felt slightly off the frequency. For the ones who are sitting with a piece of paper that explains everything — and still trying to figure out what to do with it.

You are not alone. 🤍

The PDA Profile Explained | Why Your Child Isn't Being Defiant

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 30 Jun 2026 05:00:00 GMT

Have you ever been told your child is stubborn, strong-willed, or defiant?

So was mine.

In this episode of The Weighted Blanket, I share our family's journey into understanding the PDA Profile (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy)—what it really is, why traditional parenting advice often makes things worse, and the small changes that completely transformed the way we support our son.

I'm not a PDA specialist. I'm simply a mum sharing what we've learned so far, in the hope that it helps another family feel a little less alone.

If you've ever wondered why your child: • Refuses things they actually want to do • Melts down over everyday requests • Seems to need control over everything • Is labelled "difficult" despite being wonderful

...this episode is for you.

💚 If this episode resonates, please like, subscribe and share it with another family. It genuinely helps more than you know.

🟢 PDA Society (Highly Recommended)⁠https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/⁠

🟢 PDA Society YouTube⁠https://www.youtube.com/@PDASociety⁠

📘 Facebook Community⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/⁠

📩 Free Newsletter⁠https://the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/a94e837f2d⁠

🌐 All Links⁠https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket⁠

Spotify⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/033hbR3h5qo6TD3WxWF8FL⁠

Apple Podcasts⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weighted-blanket⁠

📧 Business & Contact

⁠hello@theweightedblanket.co.uk⁠

The Weighted Blanket is a podcast exploring ADHD, autism, burnout, parenting neurodivergent children, late diagnosis, masking, education, mental health and everything in between.

Because none of us should have to figure this out alone.

The Weighted Blanket — Trailer

Claire De Oliveira — Mon, 18 May 2026 13:00:00 GMT

Welcome to The Weighted Blanket. 🤍

This is a podcast and community for neurodivergent people and the families who love them.

I'm Claire — a mum of three, diagnosed with ADHD at 36, navigating autism, AuDHD, sensory processing disorder and a PDA profile across my family. I built this because I couldn't find a space that felt warm enough to be honest in — and honest enough to actually help.

Here we talk about all of it. Diagnoses and waiting lists. EHCP battles. The NHS. Masking and burnout. What it feels like to be a neurodivergent adult who spent decades not knowing. The hard days and the funny days and the moments that floor you completely.

And we talk about change. Because warmth without action only takes us so far.

You are not broken. You are not alone. The blanket is wide enough.

🎙️ Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. 👥 Join our community: https://the-weighted-blanket.kit.com/a94e837f2d 💬 Find us on Facebook: The Weighted Blanket Community 📧 hello@theweightedblanket.co.uk

When You See Yourself in Your Child — Late Diagnosis and the Parenting Guilt Nobody Talks About

Claire De Oliveira — Tue, 23 Jun 2026 05:00:00 GMT

I want to tell you about my birthday.

My youngest had just been given a recorder. My middle son wanted one too and wasn't okay about that. My eldest wanted to play battleships. I was cooking dinner, doing the cake, welcoming family — and being hit and pushed by a child who had been completely overwhelmed since that morning.

And in the middle of all of it I was trying to hold my own nervous system together at exactly the same time as his.

This is the episode nobody makes. Not the one about what to do when your child is dysregulated. The one about what happens when your child is dysregulated and so are you — at exactly the same time — and there is nobody in the room who is not.

This episode is about being a late-diagnosed neurodivergent parent of neurodivergent children. The moment you look at your child and recognise yourself. The guilt of what you did before you had the right language. The science of co-regulation — and why it's harder when both nervous systems are running at capacity. The parental burnout nobody talks about. The EMDR that's helping. And the complicated, painful, beautiful experience of seeing yourself in your child.

ADHD heritability is estimated at 70-80%. Up to half of children with ADHD have a parent with ADHD. 65% of parents of neurodivergent children are at higher risk of burnout. This is bigger than your family. And you are not failing.

🎙️ Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033hbR3h5qo6TD3WxWF8FL
🍎 Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-weighted-blanket
👥 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1000143112417292/
🔗 Everything else: https://linktr.ee/theweightedblanket
📧 hello@theweightedblanket.co.uk

You are not alone. 🤍