Summary

If you had a big decision to make tomorrow, who are the three people you'd call, and do they all think like you? Angela and Bill unpack one of Angela's favorite ideas: the personal board of directors, a small, informal group of people you intentionally lean on for guidance, perspective, and accountability. Just as companies don't rely on a single advisor, you shouldn't rely on one mentor to cover every area of your life. The strongest boards are cross-generational: people you look up to, peers who share your stage of life, and junior colleagues who offer fresh eyes through reverse mentoring.

This episode walks through six seats to fill: Sage, Connector, Truth Teller, Cheerleader, Expert, and Wild Card. Bill and Angela share personal stories of truth tellers who changed their trajectory, and explain why your board should evolve as your life does. The takeaway: you are the CEO of your own life, and mentoring isn't one relationship; it's a community you build on purpose, at every age and stage.

In This Episode

• What a personal board of directors is, and why it's about depth and honesty, not networking
• Angela's early-retirement decision and the many voices that helped her navigate it
• Looking up, across, and to those more junior: what each direction brings
• Why peers are underrated mentors and how vulnerability builds instant trust
• Reverse mentoring: staying current, humble, and fluent in today's language (yes, IRL)
• The six board seats: Sage, Connector, Truth Teller, Cheerleader, Expert, and Wild Card
• Simon Sinek on the value of being "the idiot in the room"
• Why the Truth Teller is the hardest seat to fill—and the one you need most
• Bill's truth tellers: "I kept waiting for you to show up" and "What's the worst that can happen?"
• How your board shifts across life stages, and why a transition can make you the new person again
• Practical steps to build and maintain your board
• A challenge to audit your board and fill one empty seat this week

Key Takeaways

• One mentor can't cover every area of your life; a board gives you multiple perspectives on the same decision
• Balance your board across generations: those ahead of you, peers, and those earlier in their journey
• One person can fill more than one seat, but aim to cover all six roles
• A board full of cheerleaders feels good but keeps you stuck—seek out truth tellers
• Board members change with your life stage, and letting a seat go doesn't end the friendship

Guest: Celeste Warren

In this episode of Mentoring in Real Life, hosts Bill Bonwit and Angela Falcini welcome Celeste Warren to discuss how mentoring helps people grow, navigate organizational challenges, and achieve their professional aspirations.

Celeste explains that diversity encompasses the many differences that make each person unique, including skills, experiences, identities, strengths, and obstacles. She emphasizes that recognizing and understanding those differences isn't simply a diversity initiative—it's good management, good leadership, and good business. Regular one-on-one conversations help leaders understand their employees, build trust, identify barriers, and support individual success.

The conversation explores how to find the right mentors, why mentees must take responsibility for their own development, and why having multiple mentors can be more valuable than relying on just one person. Celeste also shares lessons, including why formal mentoring programs often struggle when organizations assign relationships without considering individual needs, aspirations, or personal chemistry.

Key Takeaways

• Start with trust. Regular, honest conversations help managers understand their employees' strengths, aspirations, and challenges while building the trust necessary to navigate difficult times together.
• Make mentoring about the mentee. Effective mentoring isn't about a mentor's status or ego. It's about understanding what the mentee needs and determining how the mentor's experience, knowledge, and position can help.
• Be specific about your goals. Rather than simply aspiring to a particular title, understand what kind of work, responsibilities, and organizational role you want—and why.
• Build a personal board of directors. Different mentors can provide guidance on leadership, career advancement, navigating organizational culture, and personal challenges.
• Look beyond similarities. Mentors don't have to share your background or identity to help you succeed. At the same time, mentors with similar experiences can offer valuable perspectives on challenges others may not fully understand.
• Find advocates as well as mentors. Advocates can help create opportunities and champion your career development, even when you don't see people with backgrounds similar to yours in senior leadership.
• Take a thoughtful approach to finding mentors. New employees can seek introductions through trusted colleagues and managers. Before reaching out, reflect on what you want to learn and why you chose that particular person.
• Create mentoring opportunities without forcing relationships. Organizations should provide frameworks, resources, and opportunities for people to connect rather than relying on top-down assignments that may not work.
• Make mentoring part of the culture. Leaders can normalize mentoring by sharing their own experiences, encouraging development conversations, and making mentoring a natural part of employee development.
• Don't let shyness hold you back. Asking for guidance is an investment in your growth, not an imposition on someone else.

For more information about Celeste and her work:

https://crwdiversity.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/celestewarrenllc/

Summary

Angela noticed the same problem surfacing across four unrelated teams in a single week: corrosive gossip. In this unscripted conversation, she and Bill dig into the critical difference between venting—getting emotion off your chest as a first step toward resolution—and gossip, which is talking about someone with the intent to damage their reputation rather than ever addressing them directly. Bill shares a mentoring tool for separating "what actually happened" from the story we invent about it, and both agree that unresolved conflict leads people to silently label coworkers, poisoning future interactions and draining energy that could go toward the work itself. The takeaway: gossip is corrosive because it replaces real conversation with a fabricated narrative that never gets resolved. The fix is choosing to talk to people, not about them, and owning your own reactions instead of blaming others for how you feel.

In This Episode

• Gossip is pervasive across teams from multiple industries
• The key distinction between venting (processing emotion as a first step) and gossip (talking about someone with intent to damage their reputation)
• Why venting alone doesn't solve anything… it's the starting point, not the destination
• Bill's mentoring technique: separating "what actually happened" from "the story you told yourself about what happened"
• A classic self-improvement exercise of drawing two circles ("your story" and "what happened") to find the truth in a conflict
• How unresolved gossip lets people mentally "label" a coworker, poisoning every future interaction
• Bill's take: you don't have to like your teammates, but you're responsible for behaving professionally with them
• Recognizing whether a conversation is meant to vent or to solve, before it starts
• Why you can't blame others for your own emotional reactions; you choose how you respond

Key Takeaways

• Gossip aims to damage someone's reputation; venting aims to process emotion en route to a real conversation
• Venting is a necessary first step, but stopping there solves nothing
• Focus on what was actually said or done, not the story you've built around it
• Unaddressed conflict causes people to silently label coworkers, eroding trust and slowing teams down
• You're responsible for behaving professionally with teammates, even ones you don't personally like
• No one "makes" you feel a certain way—you choose your response, and that choice is yours to own
• Naming the kind of conversation you want up front—venting or solution-focused—can defuse tension
• Talk to people, not about them, if you actually want to resolve a conflict

Resources Mentioned

• Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray — https://www.johngray.com/
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey (referenced: Habit 1, "Be Proactive") — https://www.franklincovey.com/the-7-habits/

Who Should Listen?

Team leads and managers dealing with gossip or low-trust dynamics on their team, anyone who's caught themselves venting about a coworker without ever talking to that person, and professionals looking for practical language to distinguish venting from gossip in their own conversations.

Disagreeing with Your Boss: How to Push Back Without Damaging Trust

What do you do when you disagree with your boss or customer? Speaking up can feel intimidating, particularly when the other person has significantly more authority or when the disagreement occurs in front of others.

In this episode, Angela Falcini and Bill Bonwit explore how mentors can help people navigate these difficult conversations. The goal isn't to “win” an argument. It's to understand the situation, contribute your perspective, find the best solution, and strengthen the relationship along the way.

Reframe Disagreement as Problem Solving

Disagreement doesn't have to be combat. Instead, approach it as collaborative fact-finding. Rather than trying to prove the other person wrong, seek to understand their reasoning and constraints.

That mindset can reduce anxiety and make it easier to have a productive conversation. Remember: discomfort is normal. As Bill emphasizes, getting comfortable being uncomfortable is part of growing as a leader.

Practical Tactics for Productive Pushback

Get curious first.

Ask questions such as, “What's driving the timeline?” or “How did we land on this approach?” Genuine curiosity may uncover information you don't have—budget constraints, executive commitments, deadlines, or other factors influencing the decision.

Separate the person from the position.

You can strongly disagree with an idea while remaining respectful toward the person presenting it.

Acknowledge their concerns.

Try identifying what you believe is driving the decision. This demonstrates that you've considered their perspective and gives them an opportunity to clarify.

Present concerns as questions, not verdicts.

Instead of saying, “I think this is the wrong direction,” try, “Help me understand how this holds up if X happens.” Questions invite collaboration rather than defensiveness.

Bring an alternative.

Don't simply identify a problem. Offer a potential path forward. Even an imperfect alternative demonstrates that you're invested in solving the problem rather than simply criticizing the decision.

Use the power of silence.

After making your case, give your boss time to process what you've said. Resist the temptation to immediately fill the silence or soften your position. Listening carefully—and allowing the other person to finish—can take much of the tension out of the conversation.

Be prepared to accept “no.”

Your boss may have information you don't have or may simply weigh the factors differently. If you've presented your concerns thoughtfully and the decision remains unchanged, that isn't a failure. Successfully voicing your perspective can actually build trust for future conversations.

Learn From Every Disagreement

The real development comes after the conversation. Mentors should encourage mentees to ask:

• What worked?
• What surprised me?
• What would I do differently next time?

Mentees can also build confidence by observing experienced leaders handle disagreement in real time. Watching how a leader manages tone, pacing, questions, and awkward moments can teach lessons that no framework can fully capture.

The Bottom Line: Build Trust

Productive disagreement is ultimately about trust. When your boss knows that you're pushing back because you genuinely want the organization and team to succeed—not because you simply want to be right—your credibility grows.

The objective isn't to win the disagreement. It's to understand, contribute, and help the organization succeed.

Summary

Bill and Angela dig into one of the core values their former organization built its culture around: "Do the right thing." While avoiding illegal, unethical, or immoral choices seems obvious, most real-world decisions are far more nuanced, involving no clear "right answer," just competing priorities around a project, a customer, or a company. They explore why integrity, not intelligence or title, is what actually earns trust, and share practical tools (like the Newspaper, Sleep, Mentor, and Legacy tests) for navigating tough calls. The takeaway: your reputation isn't built in easy moments.. it's built in the difficult ones, one small choice at a time, and character is the competitive advantage that outlasts every title or paycheck.

In This Episode

• Why "doing the right thing" became a core organizational value, illustrated by Medal of Honor recipient Britt Slabinski's split-second decision under fire
• The difference between clear-cut ethical/legal decisions and nuanced ones with no obvious "right" answer
• A real story of a consultant who "fired" a client to protect a long-term trusted relationship over short-term revenue
• Four practical tests for evaluating tough decisions: the Newspaper Test, the Sleep Test, the Mentor Test, and the Legacy Test
• How small compromises ("just this once," "no one will notice") erode integrity over time
• Why doing the right thing often requires courage and humility: speaking up, admitting mistakes, saying no to authority
• Navigating decisions where reasonable people disagree (the Apple vs. Microsoft office example) and the importance of disagree-and-commit
• Daily habits that build a trustworthy reputation over a career

Key Takeaways

• Competence earns respect; character earns trust (and trust is the foundation of every successful relationship)
• Not every "right" decision is a moral one; many are simply a choice among options with no single correct answer, shaped by your position in the organization
• Use the Newspaper, Sleep, Mentor, and Legacy tests to pressure-test a hard decision
• Integrity is rarely lost all at once; it erodes through small, seemingly harmless exceptions
• Doing the right thing sometimes means the harder path: speaking up, admitting mistakes, or saying no to someone with more authority
• When a decision doesn't go your way and it wasn't unethical, the right move is to disagree, then commit. It’s not to disengage or quietly quit
• Simple daily habits (keeping promises, admitting mistakes quickly, telling the truth, treating people with respect) compound into a lifelong reputation
• People remember how you treated them and whether they could trust you far longer than they remember your projects or titles

Resources Mentioned

• Britt Slabinski, Medal of Honor recipient, Master Chief Special Warfare Operator — https://www.cmohs.org/recipients/britt-k-slabinski

Who Should Listen?

Anyone navigating career decisions where the "right" answer isn't obvious—early-career professionals building their reputation, managers and leaders making calls that affect teams and customers, and anyone who wants practical, actionable frameworks for making decisions they can stand behind.

Forming: Building the Foundation

• Why new teams need clarity before speed
• Creating a team charter that establishes purpose, roles, and expectations
• Conducting trust-building exercises and one-on-one conversations
• Establishing communication norms before problems arise

Storming: Turning Conflict into Progress

• Why conflict is inevitable—and healthy
• The difference between productive disagreement and destructive conflict
• Recognizing "artificial harmony" before it undermines the team
• Using structured debate and respectful dissent to improve decisions
• Reading body language and addressing issues before they escalate

Norming: Creating Team Accountability

• Moving from leader-driven accountability to peer accountability
• Turning "disagree and commit" into everyday practice
• Reinforcing team norms that support long-term success
• Allowing the team to own schedules, commitments, and outcomes
• Preventing comfort from becoming complacency

Performing: Protecting High Performance

• Shifting the leader's role from directing work to removing obstacles
• Measuring collective results instead of individual activity
• Developing future leaders by rotating responsibilities
• Conducting regular team health check-ins
• Recognizing when organizational change requires returning to the fundamentals

Key Takeaways

• Every team progresses through predictable stages of development.
• Trust is the foundation that enables healthy conflict and stronger performance.
• Healthy conflict focuses on ideas—not people.
• Peer accountability creates stronger commitment than leader-enforced accountability.
• Leaders should gradually shift from managing internal team dynamics to protecting the team from external distractions.
• Organizational changes, new team members, and shifting priorities often move teams back into earlier development stages—and that's normal.
• The more trust a team has, the faster they work—and the lower the overall cost.

Books Mentioned

• The Speed of Trust by Stephen M. R. Covey
• The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni

Practical Leadership Tips

• Develop a written team charter early.
• Hold one-on-one meetings with every new team member.
• Normalize respectful disagreement.
• Watch body language—not just spoken words.
• Let teams participate in setting their own commitments.
• Track outcomes rather than activity.
• Schedule recurring conversations about how the team is working together.
• Revisit trust-building whenever the team changes.

Listener Challenge

Think about a team you're currently leading—or one you're mentoring.

• Which stage of development is the team in today?
• What leadership behaviors are needed most right now?
• What's one action you can take this week to help the team move toward higher performance?

Summary

Angela and Bill explore how personality and behavioral assessments (like DISC, Myers-Briggs, Hogan, the Big Five, and CliftonStrengths) can help mentors guide their mentees toward becoming more self-aware and effective leaders. They share personal stories of how these tools revealed their own blind spots, Bill's tendency to be perceived as "mad" when he's just passionate, and Angela's resting expression not matching her actual focus, and how adjusting behavior based on that insight changed how their teams received them.

The key takeaway: personality assessments aren't meant to predict success or gatekeep promotions. They're conversation starters. Used well, they give mentors and mentees a shared vocabulary to discuss tendencies, adjust behavior, and build stronger, more self-aware teams.

In This Episode

• Defining personality/behavioral assessments and why Angela and Bill care about their practical value over scientific debate
• How assessments support self-awareness as leaders scale from individual contributors to managing larger teams
• How understanding personality differences helps leaders adapt feedback style, one-on-one formats, and how they draw out quieter voices
• How assessments build complementary leadership teams and improve cross-team communication
• The limitations of personality assessments: they don't predict success, measure competence, or account for context and growth
• An overview of popular assessment tools: Big Five, Hogan, DISC, Myers-Briggs, and CliftonStrengths
• Why teams don't need a big formal rollout to benefit, individuals can take low-cost assessments on their own to start the conversation

Key Takeaways

• Assessments reveal tendencies, not fixed destiny. Leaders can choose to modify their behavior once they understand their default patterns.
• What matters in communication is what's received, not what's intended. Passion can be received as anger; focus can be received as displeasure.
• Teams with too much of one personality type (e.g., all highly dominant) risk burnout, unchecked pace, and conflict without anyone working to hold the team together.
• Effective leaders adjust how they motivate and communicate with each person while keeping accountability and expectations consistent.
• These tools should never be used for hiring, promotion, or performance decisions. They lack the accuracy to predict success and don't measure intelligence, judgment, or competence.
• Assessments are most valuable as a shared vocabulary and a conversation starter between mentors and mentees, not a definitive label.

Resources Mentioned

• Big Five (Five Factor Model) — scientifically validated personality model widely used in academic research and organizational psychology
• Hogan Assessments — used in executive development, focused on strengths, behavior under stress, and "dark side" derailing traits
• DISC Assessment — measures Dominance, Inspiration (Influence), Steadiness, and Conscientiousness; widely used for team communication
• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) — 16-type model popular for workshops and self-reflection
• CliftonStrengths (Gallup) — strengths-based assessment used for role fit and team dynamics conversations

Who Should Listen?

Mentors, managers, and emerging leaders anyone curious about using personality assessments to improve team communication and dynamics.

What happens when you're identified as a future leader just a few years into your career? It can be exciting—but it can also feel overwhelming. In this episode, Bill Bonwit and Angela Falcini discuss the mindset shifts, experiences, and leadership skills that help high-potential professionals grow into leadership roles successfully.

The biggest takeaway? You don't need to have all the answers—you need to be committed to learning.

Whether you're an emerging leader, an experienced manager mentoring new talent, or someone preparing for the next step in your career, this conversation offers practical guidance for accelerating your professional growth.

In This Episode

• Why confidence should never become overconfidence
• How to build a "personal board of directors" with mentors, sponsors, and peer advisors
• The value of shadowing senior leaders and learning how executive decisions are made
• Why understanding finance, strategy, operations, and customer experience makes you a stronger leader
• Leadership skills you should develop before becoming a manager
• The importance of coaching, delegation, conflict resolution, and giving effective feedback
• How stretch assignments accelerate career growth
• Asking for developmental feedback that actually helps you improve
• Building executive communication and presentation skills
• Why storytelling, negotiation, and active listening are leadership superpowers
• Adapting your communication style to different personalities
• The importance of cross-functional experience and organizational awareness
• The difference between mentors and sponsors—and why you need both
• Developing self-awareness through assessments, feedback, and reflection
• Maintaining technical credibility while expanding your leadership responsibilities
• Why great leaders ask questions—even when they think they know the answer

Key Takeaways

• Stay curious. Never assume you're the smartest person in the room.
• Seek mentors at multiple levels throughout your organization.
• Learn how the business works—not just your technical role.
• Practice leadership before receiving a leadership title.
• Volunteer for projects that stretch your skills and expand your visibility.
• Request specific, actionable feedback on a regular basis.
• Invest in communication, presentation, and negotiation skills.
• Build relationships across departments to better understand the organization.
• Develop self-awareness through reflection and structured feedback.
• Technical expertise opens doors; leadership skills determine how far you'll go.

Resources Mentioned

• Manager Tools (https://manager-tools.com/)
• Toastmasters International (https://www.toastmasters.org/)
• Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss
• DISC Personality Assessment
• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)

Who Should Listen?

• Early-career professionals identified as high-potential leaders
• New and aspiring managers
• Engineers and technical professionals transitioning into leadership
• Leaders developing future talent

Contact Mo Civers-Davis: mo@civers-davisdevelopment.com

Website: https://www.mociversdavis.com/

Episode Summary

In this episode of Mentoring in Real Life, Angela Falcini and Bill Bonwit welcome Maurice "Mo" Civers Davis, keynote speaker, executive leadership coach, founder of Civers Davis Development LLC, and founder of Independence Foundry. A former federal leader, Mo shares insights on navigating career transitions, finding meaningful mentors, developing future leaders, and cultivating coachability.

Drawing from his own transition out of federal service and his work coaching professionals through workforce disruption, Mo discusses the importance of identity, purpose, community involvement, accountability, and asking powerful questions that help people discover their own answers.

Whether you're seeking a mentor, serving as one, or navigating a major career change, this conversation offers practical wisdom and inspiration.

Key Topics Discussed

Navigating Career Transitions

• The emotional impact of leaving long-term careers in federal service or the military
• How career transitions often trigger a loss of identity.
• Leveraging your network during times of uncertainty and change.

What Makes a Great Mentor?

Mo looks for three key qualities in mentors:

• Integrity
• Humility
• Demonstrated results

He emphasizes that finding mentors often begins with having the humility to ask for help—and being specific about what help you need.

Meeting People Where They Are

Effective mentoring starts by:

• Understanding a person's current circumstances.
• Recognizing untapped potential.
• Helping individuals build confidence alongside skills and experience.

Community Engagement and Leadership

• Leadership extends beyond formal titles.
• Being actively involved in your community creates opportunities to mentor and influence others.
• People naturally gravitate toward leaders who genuinely care and contribute.

The Difference Between Advising and Mentoring

One of the episode's most powerful themes:

• Mentoring is not primarily about giving advice.
• Great mentors ask powerful questions.
• The goal is to help mentees discover answers that already exist within themselves.

As Mo explains, mentors should serve as mirrors, helping others see their own strengths, values, and possibilities.

Powerful Questions for Mentoring

• "What's important to you?"
• "Why is this important to you?"
• What are you willing to sacrifice to achieve that goal?"

Actionable Takeaways

1. Reconnect with your authentic self during times of transition.
2. Seek mentors who demonstrate integrity, humility, and results.
3. Be specific when asking for help.
4. Get involved in your community to create meaningful connections.
5. Ask powerful questions instead of immediately giving advice.
6. Identify your deeper "why" and let it guide your decisions.
7. Stay coachable, regardless of your experience level.
8. View failure as a learning opportunity rather than a setback.
9. Practice accountability as both a mentor and a mentee.
10. Lead through action, not titles.

Connect with Andrew on LinkedIn

The conversation delves into Andrew's career trajectory, education, transition to financial management, and his experience with formal and informal mentoring. It explores the evolution of formal mentoring programs, the importance of finding mentors, and the broader scope of mentoring beyond career development. Mentoring is seen as a holistic approach to personal and professional growth, adaptable to individual needs and available in various forms.

Takeaways

• Mentoring is not limited to career development and can encompass personal growth and learning from various sources.
• Formal mentoring programs can be adapted to fit the needs of the mentor and mentee, creating a more personalized and effective experience.
• Mentoring can be found in various forms, including books, podcasts, and informal conversations, and can extend beyond the workplace.

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
• 06:35 Interest in Financial Side of the House and IT Involvement
• 12:17 Determining Mentorship within the Organization and Shift in Mentoring Approach

Contact Kate Crane: https://www.directionoverperfection.com/

Summary

In this insightful interview, Kate Crane shares her journey from art history to tech leadership, emphasizing the importance of mentorship at all career stages. Discover practical advice on building meaningful mentoring relationships, the evolving nature of mentorship, and the impact of face-to-face versus virtual interactions.

Keywords

mentorship, career development, leadership, coaching, professional growth, networking, tech industry, career pivot, relationship building

Key topics

The importance of mentorship at different career stages

How to start and maintain effective mentoring relationships

The impact of face-to-face versus virtual mentoring

Evolving mentorship relationships over time

Takeaways

Mentorship is a lifelong journey that adapts to life's seasons.

Effective mentoring starts with listening more than giving advice.

Face-to-face interactions are more powerful for building trust.

Mentors and mentees should evolve their relationship as careers progress.

Key Actions

Start mentorship conversations with active listening.

Maintain regular, organic contact with mentees.

Be adaptable as mentorship needs evolve over time.

Prioritize face-to-face interactions when possible.

Sound bites

"Mentors can change over time based on your needs."

"Being positive keeps mentors wanting to help."

"In-person interactions are more engaging and powerful."

Chapters

00:00 The Journey of Kate Crane: From Art to Tech

03:24 The Value of Mentorship in Career Development

06:13 Navigating Career Pivots and Mentorship Dynamics

08:48 The Evolution of Mentorship Relationships

11:34 Mentoring Across Different Career Stages

14:20 The Importance of Positive Mentorship

17:12 The Role of Technology in Mentorship

19:52 Maintaining Mentorship Relationships

22:26 The Personal Touch in Mentorship

25:04 Final Thoughts on Mentorship and Career Growth

resources

Episode Summary

In this episode of Mentoring in Real Life, Angela Falcini and Bill Bonwit sit down with keynote speaker and communication expert DeeDee Fisher, creator of the CPL Framework — Compassion, Process, and Learning.

Drawing from her upbringing in rural Idaho and decades as an entrepreneur and consultant, DeeDee shares how she developed a unique ability to recognize communication breakdowns and help people move beyond reactionary conversations. Together, they explore the role of curiosity, compassion, mentorship, and intentional dialogue in building stronger relationships and more effective teams.

The conversation dives into how mentors can shape our paths, why asking better questions matters more than having all the answers, and how slowing down creates space for creativity, trust, and meaningful growth.

Key Takeaways

• Communication often fails because people state positions instead of exchanging understanding.
• Curiosity is one of the most powerful tools for diffusing tension and improving dialogue.
• Great mentors help people see strengths and opportunities they may not recognize in themselves.
• Effective communication is a process, not a one-time interaction.
• Prioritizing meaningful conversations over constant busyness leads to better outcomes.
• Learning to say “I don’t know” is essential for personal and professional growth.
• Slowing down creates room for creativity, reflection, and deeper understanding.

Topics Discussed

• DeeDee Fisher’s CPL Framework
• Communication during conflict and uncertainty
• Mentorship and intergenerational learning
• Curiosity as a leadership skill
• Building authentic relationships
• Ego, humility, and growth
• The importance of slowing down
• Learning through feedback
• Creating space for creativity and reflection

Chapter Timestamps

00:00 – Introduction to DeeDee Fisher

01:15 – Growing up in rural Idaho

03:00 – Early lessons in communication

06:00 – Recognizing communication breakdowns

08:00 – The power of asking questions

11:00 – Mentors and learning from feedback

15:00 – Why mentorship matters

18:00 – Curiosity, humility, and growth

21:00 – The CPL Framework explained

24:00 – Prioritizing meaningful conversations

26:00 – Creativity, reflection, and slowing down

28:00 – Mentorship as a shared responsibility

31:00 – Final reflections and key takeaways

About the Guest

DeeDee Fisher is a keynote speaker, entrepreneur, and creator of the CPL Framework (Compassion, Process, and Learning). For more than three decades, she has helped leaders and organizations improve communication during moments of tension, uncertainty, and high stakes. Her work focuses on building trust, clarity, and meaningful dialogue that leads to better outcomes.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/deedee-fisher/

Website

discoverresponse.com

Summary

This episode explores effective mentoring through the art of giving constructive feedback. Learn practical strategies to foster trust, reduce defensiveness, and help mentees grow by mastering feedback techniques that are specific, intentional, and recurring.

Keywords

mentoring, feedback, leadership, professional development, coaching, communication, growth, trust, psychological safety

Key topics

• The importance of feedback in mentoring
• Strategies for giving effective feedback
• Creating psychological safety in conversations
• Pattern recognition and behavioral insights
• Building a feedback ritual for ongoing growth

Takeaways

Always ask permission before giving feedback to reduce defensiveness. Align feedback with the mentee's goals to make it relevant. Use the situation-behavior-impact framework for clarity. Focus on behaviors, not personalities, to keep feedback objective. Make feedback a recurring, predictable part of mentoring. Handwritten notes foster better engagement than typing.

Sound Bites

"If your mentor won't give feedback, who will?" "Keep feedback objective, not personal." "Provide specific, actionable guidance."

Chapters

00:00 The Importance of Feedback

02:49 Creating a Safe Feedback Environment

06:05 Delivering Constructive Feedback

09:06 Encouraging Self-Reflection

10:44 Common Mistakes in Feedback

12:41 Making Feedback a Ritual

14:58 The Power of Handwritten Notes

Resources

Manager Tools - https://www.managertools.com

7 Habits of Highly Effective People - https://www.franklincovey.com/courses/the-7-habits/

Guest Links

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/angelafalcini LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/billbonwit

Summary

This episode explores the importance of flexibility and adaptability in the workplace and life. Angela Falcini and Bill Bonwit discuss how to develop these skills, overcome resistance to change, and leverage them for career growth and resilience.

Keywords

adaptability, flexibility, change management, resilience, career growth, leadership, problem-solving, communication, emotional intelligence, workplace skills

Key topics

Why flexibility is crucial in a changing workplace and life Practical strategies to increase adaptability and flexibility The importance of separating change from threat and reframing challenges Building resilience and managing emotional responses to change

Takeaways

Flexibility and adaptability are essential for handling constant change in work and life. Reframe change as an opportunity rather than a threat to stay proactive. Develop resilience by protecting recovery time and managing burnout. Ask questions early during change to gain clarity and reduce ambiguity. Attach your identity to skills, not roles, to remain adaptable during transitions.

Chapters

02:56 The Importance of Flexibility in Life and Work

10:23 Practical Strategies for Enhancing Adaptability

18:48 Emotional Resilience and Adaptability

24:07 Learning from Patterns in Change

Resources

The Fires of Heaven by Robert Jordan - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A7X7U4Q Conscious Leadership Group - Locating Yourself video - https://consciousleadershipgroup.com/locating-yourself How Big Things Get Done by Bent Flyvbjerg - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07V4V7V4X

Mentoring IRL Episode 18 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-FPVvVZC9k

guest links

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/angelafalcini LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/billbonwit

Summary

Explore the key values that make a great team and how to embody them to become someone everyone wants on their team. Based on Coach K's seven principles, this episode offers practical insights for fostering trust, respect, loyalty, and selfless service in any organization.

Keywords

team building, leadership, coaching, trust, respect, loyalty, selfless service, organizational culture

Key Topics

• Coach K's seven team values
• Doing the right thing in a team context
• Respect and dignity for all team members
• Courage to speak up and act
• Selfless service and contribution
• Loyalty to team and mission
• Aligning with team duties and goals
• Building trust and reliability

Sound bites

"Treat everyone with dignity and respect"

"Listening empathetically builds trust"

"Selfless service is its own reward"

Chapters

00:00 The Importance of Being a Good Teammate

02:48 Values of a Great Team

05:50 Doing the Right Thing

08:38 Respect and Dignity in Teamwork

11:33 Handling Conflict and Composure

14:23 Courage and Accountability

17:31 Selfless Service and Team Success

20:22 Demonstrating Loyalty

23:30 Duty and Dignity of Work

26:19 Building Trust in Teams

Resources

Coach K's 7 Values for a Great Team - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90by1ya1W9c

summary

In this insightful interview, Keith Dorsey shares his extensive experience on leadership, mentorship, sponsorship, and navigating career transitions. Discover practical strategies for finding mentors, understanding the roles of mentors, sponsors, and allies, and how to leverage these relationships for board service and career growth.

keywords

mentorship, sponsorship, leadership, board service, career development, diversity, executive coaching, networking, personal growth

key topics

The impact of mentorship on career growth

The difference between mentors, sponsors, and allies

How to find and approach top-tier mentors

The importance of values alignment in mentorship

Lessons from a career in leadership and board service

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Mentorship and Leadership

02:12 The Impact of Mentorship on Career Growth

07:28 Lessons Learned from Mentoring Relationships

14:16 Understanding High-Potential Employees

15:38 Defining Mentors, Sponsors, and Allies

18:33 The Importance of Multiple Mentors

24:56 Approaching Potential Mentors

28:54 Navigating Board Service and Mentorship

33:29 The Boardroom Journey: Insights and Themes

resources

The Boardroom Journey - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CXYZ1234

Summary

This episode explores how professionals can effectively transition into leadership roles by developing succession plans, delegating responsibilities, and building trust with stakeholders. Learn practical strategies to prepare for career growth and ensure smooth transitions that benefit both individuals and organizations.

keywords

leadership development, succession planning, delegation, career growth, organizational trust

key topics

The importance of mindset shift from doer to builder

Identifying critical knowledge, decision authority, and key relationships

Documenting decision frameworks and trust relationships

Strategies for developing successors and gradual delegation

Engaging leadership and external stakeholders in transition planning

Chapters

00:00 The Importance of Delegation in Leadership

11:04 Identifying and Preparing Successors

19:13 Engaging Leadership in Transition Planning

resources

Angela Falcini - Leadership Coach - https://www.linkedin.com/in/angelafalcini

Bill Bonwit - Leadership Expert - https://www.linkedin.com/in/billbonwit

Keywords

mentorship, female pilots, self-doubt, leadership, career development, feedback, advocacy, imposter syndrome, personal growth, military

Summary

In this episode, Colonel Nicole Malachowski shares her inspiring journey as a trailblazer in the U.S. Air Force, discussing the challenges she faced as a female fighter pilot in a male-dominated field. She emphasizes the importance of finding mentors, overcoming self-doubt, and the role of feedback in personal and professional growth. Nicole also highlights the significance of building authentic relationships and believing in oneself, while providing valuable insights on mentorship and leadership.

Takeaways

Where to find mentors when you are a pioneer in your field. Self-doubt is common; it's important to overcome it. Feedback is a form of love and essential for growth. Mentorship can come from unexpected places. Building authentic relationships is key to effective mentorship. It's important to define success on your own terms. Mentorship doesn't have to be formal; it can be informal and flexible. Believing in those who believe in you is vital. A mentor should challenge and support their mentee.

Sound bites

"Failure is part of the process."

"Help me help you."

"Feedback is love."

"You can usually sense that in the conversation."

"Believe those who believe in you."

"It doesn't have to be formal."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to a Trailblazer

01:48 Navigating a Male-Dominated Field

05:01 Finding Mentors and Advocates

09:21 Overcoming Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome

12:31 The Role of Mentorship in Career Development

15:50 The Importance of Feedback

20:26 Transitioning from Peer to Leader

24:47 Building Authentic Relationships

30:09 The Power of Believing in Others

Keywords

mentorship, supervisors, career growth, workplace dynamics, professional development

Summary

In this conversation, Angela Falcini and Bill Bonwit discuss the complexities of having a supervisor as a mentor. They explore the benefits and limitations of this relationship, emphasizing the importance of having multiple mentors to navigate career growth effectively. The discussion covers when it is appropriate for supervisors to act as mentors, the types of feedback they can provide, and the risks associated with sharing personal aspirations with them. The conversation concludes with advice on what topics to avoid discussing with supervisors to maintain a healthy professional relationship.

Takeaways

• Supervisors can have mentoring skills but may limit the scope of mentorship.
• It's crucial to have multiple mentors for comprehensive guidance.
• Supervisors control evaluations, pay, and promotions, influencing their mentoring role.
• Discussing doubts or career aspirations with supervisors can be risky.
• Feedback from supervisors can be both performance-related and developmental.
• Navigating organizational politics is a key area where supervisors can mentor.
• External mentors can provide guidance on long-term career goals and identity.
• Avoid discussing half-formed career pivots with supervisors.
• It's important to frame conversations with supervisors as curious, not uncertain.
• Supervisors should not be the only source of mentorship.

Sound bites

"You might hold back on sharing any doubts you have."

"It's important to have multiple mentors."

"Don't bring up any comparison to your peers."

Chapters

00:00 The Role of Supervisors as Mentors

08:55 Navigating Mentorship Beyond Supervisors

17:21 What Not to Discuss with Supervisors

Keywords

communication, cultural differences, emotional intelligence, coaching, retention, hiring practices, professional development

Takeaways

Mentoring is crucial for developing young engineers. Cultural differences impact mentoring effectiveness. Effective communication is key in engineering roles. Mentoring should not only focus on top performers.

Mentors need to be trained in emotional intelligence. Feedback is essential for mentee development.

Retention strategies should focus on employee engagement.

Hiring practices must prioritize cultural fit.

Coaching and mentoring serve different, but complementary purposes.

Summary

In this episode, Angela Falcini and Bill Bonwit engage with David Boyce, the president and CEO of Bloom Engineering Company, to explore the intricacies of mentoring in engineering. They discuss the importance of effective communication, cultural differences in mentoring, and the need for emotional intelligence in mentors. David shares insights on developing a robust mentoring program that includes not just top performers but all engineers, emphasizing the significance of cultural fit in hiring, and the distinction between coaching and mentoring. The conversation highlights the critical role of mentoring in fostering professional growth and retention in the engineering field.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to David Boyce and Bloom Engineering 03:19 The Importance of Mentoring in Engineering

06:12 Cultural Challenges in Mentoring

09:32 Communication Skills for Engineers

12:18 Expanding Mentoring Beyond Top Performers

15:22 Developing Effective Mentors 18:18 The Art of Mentoring

21:26 Identifying and Training Mentors

24:30 Future Vision for Mentoring Program

29:10 Enhancing Engineering Effectiveness through Mentoring

30:46 Retention Strategies and Employee Engagement

31:54 Identifying and Developing Mentees

34:31 Creating a Culture of Retention

35:32 Unique Approaches to Employee Retention

38:37 Mentoring for Long-Term Growth

41:42 Learning from Experience in Hiring Practices

44:35 The Importance of Cultural Fit in Hiring

46:35 Engaging the Management Team in Cultural Values 51:38 Coaching vs. Mentoring: Understanding the Difference

Keywords

mentors, advocates, career growth, workplace relationships, professional development, leadership, visibility, networking, advocacy strategies, career advancement

Summary

In this episode, Angela and Bill explore the critical roles of mentors and advocates in career development. They discuss the differences between the two, how to find advocates in the workplace, and strategies for building a reputation that attracts advocacy. The conversation emphasizes the importance of access, credibility, and the willingness of advocates to support individuals in their career advancement. They also highlight actionable steps for creating opportunities for advocacy, such as engaging with senior leaders and participating in initiatives that showcase individual contributions.

Takeaways

A mentor supports personal career growth and development.

An advocate provides visibility and opportunities for advancement.

Access, credibility, and willingness are key to finding advocates.

You can gain advocacy even without a mentor connection.

Being a valuable team member can attract advocates.

Engage with senior leaders during briefings and initiatives.

Create opportunities for informal interactions with leadership.

Poster sessions can facilitate connections with advocates.

Mentors can help identify potential advocates in the organization.

Advocates are essential for career advancement. They can champion you.

Sound bites

"A mentor helps you to be ready."

"An advocate helps you to be chosen."

"Mentors can also advocate for you."

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Mentors and Advocates

05:49 Finding Advocates in the Workplace

11:51 The Three Non-Negotiables of Advocacy

17:15 Creating Opportunities for Advocacy

23:07 The Importance of Advocates for Career Advancement

Contact us:  mentoringirl@gmail.com

Keywords

values, alignment, personal growth, professional development, self-reflection, decision making, integrity, fulfillment, leadership, emotional intelligence

Summary

In this episode, Angela and Bill discuss the importance of aligning personal and professional values. They explore indicators of misalignment, strategies for identifying core values, and methods to maintain alignment in both personal and professional contexts. The conversation emphasizes the significance of self-reflection, consistency, and the impact of values on overall fulfillment and leadership effectiveness.

Takeaways

It's essential to recognize when you're not aligned with your values.

Chronic feelings of irritation can indicate misalignment.

Procrastination on important tasks may signal a lack of alignment with values.

Identifying core values can be done through self-reflection and analysis.

Values should be visible and discussed with others to reinforce commitment.

Navigating value conflicts requires pre-planning and prioritization.

Regular reflection helps maintain alignment with values over time.

Living by your values is about progress, not perfection.

Your values influence your decision-making and identity.

Creating a supportive environment is crucial for living your values.

Chapters

00:00 Aligning Personal and Professional Values

02:52 Indicators of Misalignment

05:51 Identifying Core Values

08:53 Strategies for Staying Aligned

12:12 Making Values Visible

14:56 Navigating Value Conflicts

18:07 Reflection and Consistency

Referenced in Episode: YouScience.Com, https://www.youscience.com/

Keywords

mentorship, military, leadership, Native Hawaiian, career development, personal growth, community, business, values, relationships

Summary

In this episode, Angela and Bill engage with Mel Yokoyama, a retired Navy captain and mentor, discussing the profound impact of mentorship on personal and professional growth. Mel shares his journey from growing up in a close-knit Hawaiian community to navigating the military and eventually transitioning into the business world. He emphasizes the importance of finding the right mentors, the differences between military and industry mentorship, and the value of shared core values in these relationships. The conversation highlights the natural progression from being mentored to becoming a mentor, and the responsibilities that come with it.

Takeaways

Mentorship is a long-term investment that shapes character.

Growing up in a supportive community fosters mentorship.

Military mentorship is structured, while industry mentorship is more fluid.

Finding the right mentor is crucial for success.

Shared core values enhance the mentor-protégé relationship.

Mentorship should happen naturally, not be forced.

Understanding expectations is key in mentorship.

The mentor-protégé relationship is akin to a marriage.

Mentors should pass on wisdom and judgment responsibly.

It's important to seek mentors who align with your goals.

Sound bites

"Mentorship is a long-term investment."

"Mentorship happens naturally, not forced."

"Finding the right role model is crucial."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Mel Yokoyama

02:40 The Impact of Mentorship on Career

04:44 Growing Up in Hawaii: Community and Mentorship

07:31 Transitioning to the Navy: Seeking Mentorship

11:47 Navigating the Military: Finding Guidance

14:38 Becoming a Mentor: The Natural Transition

16:21 Mentoring in the Military vs. Industry

18:43 The Value Exchange in Mentor-Protege Relationships

22:42 Matching Values: Personal and Business Mentorship

25:23 Avoiding Pitfalls in Mentorship

26:33 Conclusion and Future Discussions

Summary

In this episode of "Mentoring in Real Life," hosts Bill Bonwit and Angela Falcini delve into the critical topic of health and wellness in the workplace, emphasizing its importance for both mentors and mentees. They discuss how maintaining health goals is essential not only for personal well-being but also for professional effectiveness. The conversation highlights the challenges leaders face as they climb the corporate ladder, including increased responsibilities and diminished control over their schedules, which often leads to neglecting personal health. The hosts share personal anecdotes and practical strategies for setting healthy boundaries, managing time effectively, and prioritizing wellness amidst demanding work environments.

Bill and Angela stress that health should not be viewed as a luxury but as a fundamental aspect of sustainable career success. They advocate for creating non-negotiable habits, such as regular workouts and healthy eating, and suggest integrating wellness into daily routines to combat the pressures of leadership. The episode concludes with a strong reminder that prioritizing health is essential for long-term success in both personal and professional realms, urging listeners to take actionable steps towards better health management.

Keywords

health and wellness, leadership, work-life balance, mentoring, career success, time management, personal well-being, sustainable habits, productivity, boundaries

Takeaways

Health and wellness are crucial for both mentors and mentees. Setting reasonable boundaries is essential for maintaining health. Leaders often neglect their health due to increased responsibilities. Creating non-negotiable habits can help sustain health amidst busy schedules. Prioritizing health is key to long-term career success.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Health and Wellness in Leadership 02:20 The Importance of Setting Boundaries

06:43 Managing Time and Energy as a Leader

12:32 Reframing Health Responsibilities

18:02 Practical Strategies for Health Management

25:21 Minimum Effective Habits for Busy Leaders

30:58 Redefining Health at Higher Levels

37:20 Conclusion: Prioritizing Health for Sustainable Success

Keywords

reverse mentoring, leadership, organizational culture, feedback, generational insights, customer behavior, psychological safety, mentoring programs, technology adaptation, employee engagement

Summary

This conversation explores the concept of reverse mentoring, where junior employees mentor senior leaders, fostering a two-way learning relationship. The discussion emphasizes the importance of creating a culture of feedback, understanding generational gaps, and enhancing customer insights through this mentoring approach. The speakers share personal experiences and historical context, highlighting the need for psychological safety and the common pitfalls to avoid in reverse mentoring programs. Ultimately, effective reverse mentoring can lead to improved leadership, decision-making, and organizational culture.

Takeaways

Reverse mentoring is a structured learning relationship. It's essential for senior leaders to seek feedback from junior employees. Cultural change is necessary for effective reverse mentoring. Informal mentoring often yields better results than formal programs. Leaders must demonstrate vulnerability to foster psychological safety. Understanding generational differences enhances team dynamics. Reverse mentoring can bridge gaps in technology and customer insights. Effective mentoring improves decision-making and leadership styles. Leaders should avoid common pitfalls in mentoring relationships. Reverse mentoring is fundamentally about mutual growth and learning.

Sound bites

"I've never been this happy." "Reading is overrated." "Be curious, not judgmental."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Reverse Mentoring

01:47 Defining Reverse Mentoring

04:38 The Importance of Psychological Safety

07:01 Use Cases for Reverse Mentoring

11:45 Historical Context and Examples

15:04 Bridging Generational Gaps

18:23 Improving Inclusion and Understanding

21:56 Staying Close to Customers

24:43 Making Reverse Mentoring Effective

28:56 Common Pitfalls to Avoid

30:09 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The conversation delves into the challenges of people-pleasing behavior in mentoring, the impact of feedback delivery, and the importance of creating a comfortable environment for feedback. It emphasizes the need for actionable and structured feedback to help mentees grow and the role of trust in effective mentoring relationships.

Takeaways

• People-pleasing as a mentor can hinder the development of mentees
• Feedback delivery is crucial for mentors to overcome people-pleasing tendencies

Chapters

• 00:00 The Pitfalls of People-Pleasing as a Mentor
• 06:02 The Importance of Timing and Delivery in Feedback
• 13:40 Discomfort vs. Harm in Feedback
• 19:36 Avoiding Apologies and Over-Praising in Feedback
• 25:18 Creating a Comfortable Environment for Feedback

keywords financial freedom, mentoring, career development, personal finance, goal setting, work-life balance, career aspirations, mentor-mentee relationship, trade-offs, risks

summary

In this episode, Angela and Bill discuss some parallels between financial freedom and career mentoring. They explore how mentors can guide mentees in defining their career goals without imposing their own judgments. The conversation emphasizes the importance of understanding personal aspirations, balancing life and work, and the role of mentors in helping mentees navigate their career paths. They also touch on the significance of refining goals and recognizing the trade-offs involved in career decisions.

takeaways

• Financial freedom and robust career planning are complementary for many individuals.
• Mentors should avoid judging mentees' career goals.
• Mentees own their career direction and decisions.
• Mentors help mentees clarify their goals.
• Time and energy are finite resources that must be managed, so balancing life and career goals, and managing the timing for both is critical.
• Mentors can help mentees see potential they may not recognize.
• Trade-offs and risks must be considered in career planning. Mentors should help mentees recognize the likely intended and unintended consequences of their decisions.
• Mentors should facilitate goal setting without imposing their views.
• The mentee sets the destination, and the mentor provides the map.

Chapters

00:00Introduction to Financial Freedom and Career Success

03:32 The Role of Mentorship in Career Development

06:32 Understanding Personal Goals and Career Aspirations

09:25 Balancing Life Phases and Career Goals

12:20 The Influence of Status on Career Choices

15:00 Defining Goals: Mentee Ownership and Mentor Guidance

17:49 The Power of Language in Mentorship

20:37 Refining Goals and Realistic Timelines

23:29 Trade-offs and Consequences in Career Decisions

26:39 Conclusion and Key Takeaways

Keywords

mentoring, youth development, Friends of the Children, nonprofit, community support, education, Chicago, mentorship, social impact, long-term commitment

Summary

In this episode of Mentoring Real Life, hosts Angela and Bill engage with Jeannie Affelder, board chair of Friends of the Children in Chicago. They discuss the innovative mentoring model of the organization, which focuses on long-term support for children facing significant challenges. Jeannie shares insights on measuring success, adapting to local needs, and the personal impact of mentoring. The conversation highlights the importance of passion in nonprofit work and the value of building a supportive network for board members.

Takeaways

Friends of the Children focuses on long-term mentoring for at-risk youth. The program assigns paid professional mentors to children. Mentors work with children for 12.5 years, from kindergarten to high school graduation. Success is measured through both quantitative and qualitative metrics. The organization adapts its model to meet local community needs. Personal stories illustrate the transformative impact of mentoring. Board members play a crucial role in nonprofit success. Finding a cause that resonates is essential for nonprofit board members. Resources like Board Source (boardsource.org) can aid in nonprofit governance. Building a support network is vital for effective leadership.

Additional resources mentioned:

Exponent Philanthropy (https://exponentphilanthropy.org/)

Duncan Campbell Ted Talk (Breaking the generational cycle of poverty, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tK2OPkz2LTM**)**

****Duncan Campell book (The Art of Being There: Creating Change, One Child at a Time, https://www.amazon.com/Art-Being-There-Creating-Change-ebook/dp/B01FJ3NAC2?ref_=ast_author_dp&th=1&psc=1)

Nadine Burke Harris Ted Talk (How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95ovIJ3dsNk)

Nadine Burke Harris book (The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Trauma and Adversity―A Transformative Guide to Understanding Childhood Trauma and Health, https://www.amazon.com/Deepest-Well-Long-Term-Childhood-Adversity/dp/132850266X?crid=2Y1PQM9F8T60N&keywords=Nadine+Burke+Harris&qid=1669064262&sprefix=nadine+burke+harris,aps,260&sr=8-2&linkCode=sl1&tag=americanprogramb&linkId=718573e2ed37c20c1df5570994f80820&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl)

Keywords

mentorship, career development, leadership, personal growth, networking, engineering, community service, employee ownership, professional advice, mentoring relationships

Summary

In this episode, Angela and Bill engage in a deep conversation with Bill Vavrik, a senior vice president at Applied Research Associates, about the significance of mentorship in personal and professional development. Vavrik shares his journey from being a volunteer firefighter to a senior leader in engineering, emphasizing the role of mentors throughout his career. The discussion highlights the importance of seeking mentorship, the responsibilities of being a mentor, and the mutual benefits of these relationships. Vavrik also provides practical advice for those looking to find mentors and emphasizes the need for active participation in mentorship relationships.

Takeaways

Mentorship can occur in various forms, often informally. Being a mentor involves guiding others without dictating their path. Active participation is crucial in mentorship relationships. Seek mentors who have experiences you aspire to achieve. Mentorship is a two-way street; both parties can learn. Identifying future leaders is a key responsibility of senior professionals. Mentorship can happen in unexpected situations, be open to it. Career guidance often emerges from performance reviews and discussions. Building a personal board of directors can enhance mentorship opportunities. Taking action is essential after receiving mentorship advice.

Sound bites

"It's about career guidance."

"You have to take action."

"Help others climb."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Mentorship and Guest Introduction

04:32 The Impact of Mentorship on Career Development

12:49 Becoming a Mentor: Responsibilities and Opportunities

19:43 Seeking Mentorship: The Dual Path of Growth

25:36 Advice for Finding and Being a Mentor

Keywords mentorship, overcoming shyness, career growth, asking for help, organic relationships, networking, professional development, actionable advice, building confidence, personal growth

Summary In this episode, Angela and Bill discuss the common barrier of shyness when it comes to seeking mentorship. They explore actionable strategies to overcome this fear, emphasizing the importance of reframing the request for mentorship, building organic relationships, and preparing thoughtful questions. The conversation also addresses handling rejection and finding opportunities for connection, ultimately encouraging listeners to take control of their career growth.

Takeaways

• Many people feel intimidated when asking for mentorship.
• Reframing the request can reduce feelings of being a burden to the potential mentor.
• Mentorship often grows organically from informal conversations.
• Preparing a script can help reduce anxiety when asking for help.
• Asking specific questions is more effective than a broad request for mentorship.
• Practicing with low-stakes individuals can build confidence.
• Networking opportunities can arise in informal settings.
• Expect a range of responses when asking for mentorship.
• You’re accountable for and have control over your own career growth.

Chapters

00:00 Overcoming Shyness in Mentorship

03:23 Reframing the Mentorship Request

06:34 Preparing for the Conversation

09:16 Navigating Responses and Rejections

12:15 Finding Opportunities for Connection

15:19 Taking Control of Your Career Growth

Keywords

goal setting, strategic planning, mentoring, career growth, feedback, whole goals, professional development, leadership, personal growth, networking

Summary

In this conversation, Angela and Bill discuss the significance of goal setting and strategic planning in mentoring and career development. They explore various aspects of setting effective career goals, the importance of feedback, understanding job scopes, and the role of experience in career growth. The discussion emphasizes the need for intentional planning and the balance between thinking and acting in professional settings, ultimately highlighting how mentoring can facilitate faster career advancement.

Takeaways

Goal setting is crucial for career advancement.

Strategic planning requires intentionality and regular evaluation. Except in true emergencies, it’s much better to think slow (in-depth planning) followed by acting fast. Feedback should be clear and compassionate to be effective.

Understanding the scope of a desired role is essential for growth.

Experience and repetition are key to developing people skills.

Career growth is a marathon, not a sprint.

Whole goals encompass understanding the purpose, measures of success, and consideration of unintended consequences for any planned actions.

Balancing planning with action is vital for project success. Mentoring is a long-term investment in personal and professional growth.

Networking and relationships significantly impact career development.

Sound bites

"Think slow and act fast."

Keywords

mentoring, leadership development, DIY mentoring, career growth, networking, personal board of advisors, mentor-mentee relationship, professional development, skills growth, career advice

Summary

In this conversation, Bill Bonwit and Angela discuss the significance of mentoring in leadership development, emphasizing a DIY approach to finding mentors and mentees. They explore how to define goals, identify potential mentors, and the importance of networking both within and outside of organizations. The discussion also covers effective outreach strategies, nurturing relationships, and the value of having a personal board of advisors for career growth.

Takeaways

Mentoring is a key evaluation criterion for leadership.

A DIY approach to mentoring can be more effective.

Define specific goals before seeking a mentor.

Consider having multiple mentors for different skills.

Networking can extend beyond your current organization.

Compliments can facilitate initial outreach to potential mentors.

Respect the time of your mentor during meetings.

Follow up with gratitude to strengthen relationships.

A personal board of advisors can provide diverse perspectives.

Nurturing relationships is essential for effective mentoring.

Chapters

00:00 The Importance of Mentoring Programs

03:11 DIY Mentoring: A Practical Approach

05:42 Finding the Right Mentor and Mentee

08:31 Building Relationships: The Key to Mentoring

11:21 Leveraging Networks for Mentoring Opportunities

13:56 Effective Communication in Mentoring

16:36 Nurturing the Mentor-Mentee Relationship

18:35 Conclusion: The DIY Mentoring Journey

Keywords

mentoring, goal setting, accountability, personal development, mentoring relationships, effective goals, visualization, success, personal board of directors, self-improvement

Summary

In this episode, Angela and Bill discuss the importance of setting effective mentoring goals as the year comes to a close. They explore how to create specific, measurable, and actionable goals for both mentors and mentees, emphasizing the need for accountability and evaluation of mentoring relationships. The conversation also highlights the significance of visualizing success and making commitments to ensure that mentoring goals are achieved throughout the year.

Takeaways

Reflect on your mentoring goals as the year ends. Set specific and measurable goals for mentoring. Accountability is key in mentoring relationships. Evaluate your personal board of directors regularly. Visualize success to stay motivated in your goals. Use your calendar to prioritize mentoring commitments. Regularly check in on your progress with your mentor or mentee. Identify what to stop, start, change, and continue in mentoring, both as a mentor and mentee. Create a plan for self-improvement alongside mentoring goals. Commit to helping others climb in their careers.

Chapters

00:00 Setting the Stage for Mentoring Goals

03:13 Defining Effective Mentoring Goals

05:39 Examples of Mentor and Mentee Goals

08:32 Evaluating Mentoring Relationships

11:08 Visualizing Success in Mentoring

14:03 Accountability and Commitment in Mentoring

16:27 Making Goals Stick

19:00 Wrapping Up: The Importance of Mentoring Goals

Keywords

mentorship, relational leadership, active listening, powerful questions, mentor mindset, trust in mentoring, mentoring skills, accountability in mentoring, mentoring structure

Summary

In this episode, Angela and Bill delve into the intricacies of mentorship, emphasizing the importance of relational leadership over transactional approaches. They discuss the mindset required for effective mentoring, the essential skills such as active listening and powerful questioning, and the significance of building trust within the mentor-mentee relationship. The conversation also covers how to structure mentoring sessions and the importance of reflection for continuous improvement in mentoring practices.

Takeaways

Mentorship requires a mindset focused on long-term growth. Relational leadership fosters deeper connections than transactional leadership. Active listening is crucial for effective mentoring. Powerful questions lead to greater insights and accountability. Setting clear goals enhances the mentoring relationship. Trust is foundational in mentor-mentee dynamics. Reflecting on mentoring conversations aids in personal growth. Structuring conversations can help guide the mentoring process.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Mentoring Dynamics

02:15 Long-Term vs. Short-Term Mentoring

05:04 Key Traits of Effective Mentors

08:03 The Importance of Active Listening

10:53 Asking Powerful Questions

13:57 Establishing Trust in Mentoring Relationships

16:46 Structuring Mentoring Conversations

19:47 Reflecting on Mentoring Effectiveness

22:18 Navigating Sensitive Topics in Mentoring

24:30 Conclusion and Call to Action

Reach out if you would like a copy of our Training and Conference ROI Checklist

Keywords: mentoring, professional development, training, conferences, networking, career growth, mentee responsibilities, value demonstration, supervisor trust, follow-up

Takeaways

• Mentors are crucial for guiding mentees in their professional development.
• Conferences provide invaluable networking opportunities for career growth.
• Mentees should take responsibility for identifying their training and conference needs.
• Mentors can offer unique insights into mentees' career paths.
• People skills become increasingly important (more than technical skills) as one advances in their career.
• Mentees should take action to demonstrate the value of their training to their organization.
• Building trust with supervisors is essential for training approvals.
• Networking is as important as the skills learned at conferences.
• Mentees should prepare (and share) their learnings with their teams post-conference.
• Always follow-up with new contacts — this is vital for maintaining professional relationships.
  

Summary: In this episode, Angela and Bill discuss the significance of mentoring in professional development, particularly in the context of attending conferences and training. They emphasize the importance of networking, identifying training needs, and the responsibilities of mentees in seeking out opportunities for growth. The conversation also highlights the necessity of demonstrating the value of training to supervisors and the role of mentors in guiding their mentees through these processes. The episode concludes with practical advice on follow-up strategies for maintaining professional relationships established at conferences.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the M Conference Experience

02:44 The Importance of Mentoring in Professional Development

05:28 Identifying Skills and Training Needs

07:59 Networking: A Key Component of Conferences

10:53 Mentee Responsibilities in Training Selection

13:27 Evaluating Training and Conference Value

16:07 Demonstrating Value Post-Conference

18:54 Building Trust and Relationships

21:08 Prioritizing Training Opportunities

23:39 Conclusion and Resources

Keywords: mentoring, choice, accountability, personal development, work-life balance, enduring traits, self-improvement, relationships, personal growth, coaching

Summary In this conversation, the speakers explore the enduring traits of choice and accountability, emphasizing their importance in mentoring relationships and personal development. They discuss how these traits influence work-life balance, personal growth, and the dynamics between mentors and mentees. The conversation also highlights practical tools and strategies for fostering accountability and making empowered choices in both personal and professional contexts.

Takeaways

• The traits of choice and accountability are not just for mentoring but for life.
• Choice is about taking personal accountability for your life.
• You always have the power to choose your response.
• Changing your language and mindset can change your perspective on choices.
• Accountability is about keeping commitments to yourself.
• Trusting yourself is fundamental to trusting others.
• Mentors can help with both choice and accountability.
• Finding mentors can happen in various life situations.
• Using tools like planners can enhance accountability.
• Choice and accountability are interrelated and essential for growth.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Enduring Traits

02:52 The Power of Choice

05:47 Accountability in Mentoring

09:08 Finding Mentors and Building Relationships

12:11 The Interplay of Choice and Accountability

14:55 Practical Tools for Accountability

18:04 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Keywords
mentoring, coaching, active listening, goal setting, intrinsic motivation, feedback, accountability, powerful questions, career development, personal growth

Summary
In this episode of Mentoring in Real Life, Angela and Bill discuss the integration of coach-like skills into mentoring relationships. They emphasize the importance of active listening, asking powerful questions, and fostering intrinsic motivation in mentees. The conversation covers goal setting, accountability, and the role of feedback and reflection in the mentoring process. The hosts highlight the mentor's responsibility to guide rather than solve problems for the mentee, advocating for a supportive and empowering approach to career development.

Takeaways

• Mentors should encourage mentees to identify their own paths.
• Active listening is crucial for understanding mentees' perspectives.
• Asking powerful questions fosters deeper conversations.
• Goal setting should be specific, measurable, and time-bound.
• Intrinsic motivation leads to greater engagement and persistence.
• Feedback should focus on reflection and learning from experiences.
• Accountability helps mentees stay committed to their goals.
• Mentors should avoid solving problems for mentees.
• Training in coach-like skills can enhance mentoring effectiveness.
• Creating a supportive environment is key to successful mentoring.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Mentoring and Coaching Skills

00:57 The Importance of Active Listening

04:52 Asking Powerful Questions

09:42 Goal Setting and Accountability

14:57 Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

19:46 Feedback and Reflection in Mentoring

24:43 The Role of Accountability in Mentoring

29:41 The Mentor's Responsibility and Training

Keywords

mentoring, coaching, advocacy, workplace, career development, personal responsibility, leadership, professional growth, visibility, career advancement

Summary

In this podcast episode, Angela and Bill explore the distinctions and interconnections between mentoring, coaching, and advocacy in the workplace. They discuss how each role contributes to personal and professional development, emphasizing the importance of personal responsibility in career advancement. Through real-life examples, they illustrate how these roles can overlap and support individuals at various stages of their careers, from early career to senior leadership.

Takeaways

• Coaching focuses on improved performance and personal development.
• Mentoring is intentional for long-term career growth.
• An advocate uses their influence to promote individuals.
• Personal responsibility is crucial for career success.
• Visibility in the workplace is essential for advancement.
• Coaching can help sharpen leadership skills.
• Mentors provide insights on industry navigation.
• Advocacy can open doors to new opportunities.
• Real-life experiences highlight the impact of mentorship.
• All three roles—mentor, coach, and advocate—are beneficial for career growth.

Sound Bites

• "Never been this happy Angela, how about you?"
• "It's up to the individual to perform."
• "It gets somebody to where they want to be faster."
• "You can have a really positive influence on somebody."
• "Having all three disciplines is highly beneficial."

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Mentoring, Coaching, and Advocacy

08:12 The Role of an Advocate in Career Advancement

14:09 Personal Responsibility in Career Development

17:04 Real-Life Experiences with Mentors and Coaches

24:45 Navigating Mid-Career Challenges

35:50 The Importance of Mentorship at Senior Levels

Summary

This conversation explores the essential elements of effective mentoring, emphasizing the importance of selecting the right mentees, establishing mutual trust, and creating a productive mentoring environment. The speakers discuss the responsibilities of mentors, the significance of feedback, and the need for commitment from both parties. They also highlight the importance of aligning values and expectations, sharing personal experiences, and being present during mentoring conversations to foster professional development.

Takeaways

• Mentors have a responsibility to build the next generation of leaders.
• Choosing the right mentee is crucial for effective mentoring.
• Feedback is essential for mentee growth and development.
• Mutual trust enhances the mentoring relationship.
• Mentors should be willing to share their own mistakes to foster openness.
• Setting clear expectations is vital for a successful mentoring relationship.
• Creating a distraction-free environment is important for effective mentoring.
• Mentees should take ownership of their mentoring journey.
• Understanding a mentee's personal life can inform mentoring strategies.
• Regular evaluation of the mentoring relationship is necessary for continued success.

Titles

• Building Future Leaders Through Mentoring
• The Mentor-Mentee Dynamic: Keys to Success

Sound Bites

• "Never been this happy."
• "Feedback is imperative."
• "Help others climb."

Chapters

00:00 The Importance of Mentorship

02:41 Identifying Potential Mentees

05:04 Assessing Mentee Potential

07:16 Feedback: A Two-Way Street

09:15 Values Alignment in Mentorship

11:28 Commitment to the Mentoring Relationship

12:00 Evaluating the Mentoring Relationship

19:55 The Mentee's Responsibility

20:34 Setting Expectations in Mentoring

21:11 Mentor's Role in Career Development

22:06 Sharing Valuable Resources

23:44 Effective Listening in Mentoring

26:42 Creating a Distraction-Free Environment

31:55 Building Mutual Trust

35:07 Encouraging Risk-Taking in Mentees

37:40 Navigating Disagreements

38:03 Key Takeaways for Mentors

Keywords

mentorship, career development, finding a mentor, leadership, personal growth, diversity in mentorship, career goals, professional relationships, feedback, networking

Summary

In this conversation, Bill and Angela discuss the essential aspects of finding and working with a mentor. They explore the importance of identifying personal career goals, the value of diverse experiences, and the significance of respect and transparency in mentorship relationships. The discussion also highlights the need for mentees to be proactive in seeking mentorship and the benefits of having a board of mentors to guide their career development.

Takeaways

Finding a mentor involves identifying someone whose career you respect. Mentorship is about working through your goals, not being told what to do. Diversity of experiences is crucial for personal and professional growth. Get comfortable being uncomfortable to foster growth. Identify your career goals to guide your mentorship search. Having a board of mentors can provide diverse perspectives. Mentors outside your direct chain can offer valuable insights. Gender dynamics can influence mentorship opportunities. Paying it forward by mentoring others is essential. Be open to feedback and willing to learn from your mentor.

Titles

Navigating the Mentorship Landscape

The Art of Finding a Mentor

Sound bites

"Get comfortable being uncomfortable."

"You miss all the shots you don't take."

"Feedback is a gift."

Chapters

00:00 Finding the Right Mentor

02:23 The Importance of Experience in Mentorship

05:10 Diversity of Experience and Its Impact

10:05 Navigating Career Paths and Mentorship

15:18 The Role of Mentors in Leadership

20:09 Authenticity in Mentorship

21:46 Navigating Gender Bias in Male-Dominated Industries

26:26 The Importance of Diverse Mentorship

29:13 Respecting Mentors and Their Values

31:06 Approaching Potential Mentors

35:43 Structuring the First Mentoring Conversation

40:17 Wrapping Up the Mentoring Relationship

Keywords

mentoring, personal development, work-life balance, career growth, mentorship experiences, leadership, professional relationships, listening skills, evolving priorities, lifelong learning

Summary

In this conversation, Angela Falcini and Bill Bonwit explore the multifaceted nature of mentoring, sharing personal experiences and insights on its significance in both personal and professional development. They discuss the importance of having mentors, the evolving nature of mentoring relationships, and the impact of mentorship on career growth. The conversation emphasizes the need for effective listening, understanding individual priorities, and the continuous nature of mentorship throughout life.

Takeaways

Mentoring is crucial for personal and professional growth.

Early mentors shape our values and career paths.

Work-life balance is essential in mentoring relationships.

Mentoring relationships evolve with changing priorities.

Listening is a key skill for effective mentoring.

Mentors can provide guidance and open doors for mentees.

Mentoring can lead to greater job satisfaction and retention.

Mentorship is a two-way street of learning.

Having multiple mentors can enrich one's life.

Mentoring can extend beyond career to personal development.

Titles

The Power of Mentoring: Insights and Experiences

Navigating Mentorship: Lessons from the Journey

Sound bites

"I learned what I don't want to be."

"Mentoring should never stop."

"We can't wait to keep this conversation going."

Chapters

00:00 The Importance of Mentoring

04:41 Early Mentorship Experiences

09:26 Learning from Mentors

12:54 The Dynamics of Mentoring Relationships

17:44 The Fulfillment of Mentoring

22:14 Defining Mentorship

27:57 Mentorship in Retirement

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