What is divorce coaching? What competencies should clients expect? How do we distinguish education from certification? And what role should dispute resolution play in preparing professionals to support people through divorce?

In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast, Tracy Callahan is joined by Dori Braddell, DCA's Director of Education and Development for Canada, to explore the evolving landscape of divorce coaching and introduce Elevate Canada, a new educational pathway designed for experienced professionals seeking to deepen and formalize their divorce coach training.

Together, Tracy and Dori discuss:

• The rapid growth of divorce coaching in Canada
• Why professional standards, competency, and consumer trust matter
• The difference between supporting divorcing families and being trained as a divorce coach
• Why divorce coaching is a distinct profession—not simply an extension of law, mediation, mental health, or life coaching
• The critical role of dispute resolution and conflict awareness in effective divorce coaching
• The risks of unintentionally crossing from coaching into advising or directing clients
• Why experience and formal education are complementary, not interchangeable
• The importance of competency-based certification
• How Elevate Canada helps experienced professionals strengthen their skills, credentials, and professional standing

Dori shares insights from her own journey into divorce coaching and explains why many experienced lawyers, mediators, and mental health professionals are surprised by how different divorce coaching is from their existing professional work.

Whether you're already practicing as a divorce coach, supporting families through divorce in another professional capacity, or exploring how to expand your services, this episode offers valuable perspective on the future of the profession and the importance of specialized training.

About Elevate Canada

Elevate Canada was created for professionals who are already working in the divorce space—or in related professions—and want to deepen their education through DCA's ADR-based divorce coaching framework.

Participants complete the full educational curriculum of the DCA® Divorce Coach Certification Program through a flexible, self-paced learning model, while receiving ongoing support through twice-monthly office hours with DCA's Director of Education and Development for Canada.

Completion of the educational curriculum does not automatically result in certification. Those pursuing certification must successfully demonstrate competency through the DCA® certification examination process.

Learn More

To learn more about Elevate Canada, visit:
https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/elevate

To apply to ELEVATE, go to:

https://form.jotform.com/261663154806156

For questions about the program, contact:
DCA.CA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Inspired by the public conversation surrounding a bestselling memoir about marriage and betrayal, Tracy examines why so many people become stuck waiting for validation from someone else before allowing themselves to move forward. Through the lens of divorce coaching, she uncovers the deeper needs often hidden beneath the desire for an apology—self-trust, certainty, permission, understanding, and meaning.

Listeners will learn why acknowledgment from another person may not provide the relief they expect, how divorce can trigger profound identity uncertainty, and what becomes possible when people stop organizing their healing around someone else's capacity to reflect, repair, or take responsibility.

This episode offers valuable insights for divorce coaches, helping professionals, and anyone navigating the emotional complexity of relationship transitions.

In this episode, Tracy discusses:

• Why people often seek explanations long after a relationship ends
• The difference between wanting acknowledgment and needing permission
• How divorce challenges self-trust and personal identity
• Why apologies don't always create closure
• The role of divorce coaching in helping clients reconnect with their own capacity and decision-making
• Moving forward without waiting for validation from someone else

Whether you're supporting clients through divorce or navigating your own life transition, this conversation offers a powerful reminder: healing often begins when we stop waiting for someone else to unlock the next chapter.

Together, they discuss the critical distinction between providing education and giving advice, why decision-making can feel so difficult during divorce, and how divorce coaches help clients build clarity, confidence, and self-trust without making decisions for them. Lauren shares insights from both her legal and coaching perspectives, highlighting the importance of understanding options, navigating conflict, and supporting clients in making values-based decisions that align with their goals.

The conversation also explores professional boundaries, the role of coaching within interdisciplinary divorce teams, and why ethical standards, competency, and staying within scope are essential to the continued growth and credibility of the divorce coaching profession.

Whether you're a divorce coach, attorney, mediator, financial professional, mental health practitioner, or someone navigating divorce yourself, this episode offers valuable insights into helping clients move from confusion to clarity—without telling them what to do.

Topics discussed:
• Why clients ask professionals, "What should I do?"
• The connection between fear, uncertainty, and decision-making
• Education versus advice in divorce coaching
• Rebuilding self-trust after divorce and betrayal
• Values-based decision-making during conflict
• Ethical boundaries and scope of practice
• The evolving role of divorce coaches on professional teams
• Building client capacity and confidence for long-term success

Learn more about Lauren Fair, Certified Family Law Specialist, Mediator, and Divorce Coach, Dedicated to Resolving Family Law Problems Outside of Court at Fair Cadora https://faircadora.com/legal-team/lauren-m-fair

Divorce Coaches Academy® and upcoming certification programs at divorcecoachesacademy.com

In this powerful episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy Podcast®, Tracy Callahan is joined by somatic experiencing practitioner, certified mental health coach, Michelle Browning for a profound conversation about the shift from correction to capacity in divorce coaching.

Together, they explore why rushing to fix, solve, or “move clients forward” can unintentionally reinforce overwhelm—and why building a client’s capacity to stay connected to themselves during conflict may be the most important work divorce coaches do.

Through the lens of nervous system regulation, agency, autonomy, and emotional resilience, Tracy and Michelle unpack:

• Why strategy alone is not enough when clients are flooded or shut down
• The difference between emotional regulation and nervous system regulation
• How “helping” can sometimes soothe the professional more than the client
• What functional freeze looks like in divorce conversations and legal meetings
• Why tiny, tolerable steps create sustainable progress
• How divorce coaches can become a grounded, regulating presence for clients navigating uncertainty and conflict

Michelle also shares a moving story about a butterfly struggling to emerge from its chrysalis—a metaphor that beautifully illustrates the importance of allowing clients the dignity of their own process.

This episode is an invitation for divorce coaches and helping professionals to rethink what support truly means and to recognize that transformation often happens not through rushing, but through staying present long enough for capacity to grow.

About Michelle Browning
Michelle Browning guides people through endings, messy middles, and new beginnings with a trauma-informed, nervous-system-centered approach to healing and personal transformation. She is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Certified Mental Health Coach and educator who helps clients reclaim their voice, agency, and direction—one tolerable step at a time.

Learn more about Michelle Browning at:
https://www.michellebrowning.com

Cindy shares:

• How The Mother Lode evolved from writing about motherhood into writing about divorce and separation
• The emotional process of realizing a marriage is over
• The moment she finally decided to leave her marriage
• What it feels like to navigate a high-conflict divorce
• How divorce coaching differs from therapy and legal representation
• Why many women struggle to answer the question: “What do you need?”
• The financial stress and uncertainty many women face during divorce
• How divorce coaching helped her prepare for attorney meetings and legal negotiations
• Why emotional regulation and “distress tolerance” are critical during divorce
• The ongoing challenges of post-divorce conflict and co-parenting
• How divorce coaching helped her feel more “sturdy,” capable, and empowered

Why This Episode Matters

Divorce is not just a legal process. It is emotional, financial, logistical, and deeply personal.

This episode highlights how divorce coaching can provide strategic and emotional support during divorce—especially for individuals navigating high-conflict relationships, financial uncertainty, and identity shifts after separation.

Listeners will walk away with a clearer understanding of:

• What a divorce coach actually does
• When divorce coaching can help
• How divorce coaching can reduce overwhelm during divorce
• Why support systems matter during major life transitions

Memorable Quotes

“Sometimes you’ve got to write your way through to the truth.”

“I never want to feel this way again.”

“Don’t be afraid to need a lot of people in your corner during this phase in your life.”

“What if you left for your kids?”

Resources & Links

Cindy DiTiberio

• Substack: https://cindyditiberio.substack.com/
• Instagram: @cindy.ditiberio

Divorce Coaches Academy

• Website: https://divorcecoachesacademy.com
• Find a Certified Divorce Coach through Divorce Coaches Academy® Coach Locator https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/coach-locator

About Cindy DiTiberio

Cindy DiTiberio is a writer and creator of The Mother Load, a popular Substack focused on motherhood, divorce, relationships, identity, and co-parenting. Through personal essays and her “Divorce Diaries” interview series, Cindy shares honest stories about the emotional and practical realities of divorce that resonate with thousands of women navigating similar experiences.

Tracy examines the difference between lived experience and professional competency, the ethical concerns surrounding unregulated influence in the divorce space, and why divorce coaching requires more than visibility and personal storytelling. She discusses how emotional vulnerability, algorithm driven platforms, and monetized audiences are reshaping the landscape of divorce support and why ethical standards matter now more than ever.

Topics discussed include:
• The rise of the divorce influencer phenomenon
• Why relatability is not the same as expertise
• The ethical risks of unregulated guidance during divorce
• Audience trust, monetization, and accountability
• Scope of practice in divorce coaching
• The importance of conflict informed and ADR aligned coaching
• Why divorce coaching requires training, structure, and ethical responsibility

This episode is a powerful call for greater clarity, professionalism, and accountability within the divorce coaching industry and a reminder that influence without responsibility can create real harm.

Learn more about Divorce Coaches Academy® and professional divorce coach training at:
https://divorcecoachesacademy.com

In this episode, Tracy Callahan is joined by Wendy Kesser, certified divorce coach and professional “rematchmaker,” to explore what really happens when clients re-enter the world of relationships after divorce.

Together, they unpack why dating after divorce is less about starting over and more about stepping into a new relational environment one where old patterns, assumptions, and conflict dynamics often resurface.

For divorce coaches, this conversation highlights a critical truth: the work doesn’t end when the agreement is signed. It evolves.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why dating after divorce is both a new chapter and a continuation of past relational patterns
• How unresolved internal conflict shows up in partner selection and dating decisions
• The difference between being ready to date and having the capacity to engage in relationships differently
• Why clients often “date for replacement” instead of alignment
• The role of values audits in helping clients make intentional relationship choices
• How coaches can shift clients from seeking validation to developing discernment
• Why the goal is not to help clients find the “right partner,” but to help them engage in relationships differently

Key Insights

Dating is not a clean slate
Clients carry forward patterns, assumptions, and ways of engaging into new relationships—often without awareness.

Readiness is not a feeling—it’s a capacity
True readiness includes emotional availability, tolerance for uncertainty, and the ability to communicate with clarity and honesty.

The past may still be doing the choosing
When clients define what they want based on what they don’t want, they remain anchored to prior relationships rather than aligned with future intentions.

Clients don’t need scripts—they need skills
The work is not about telling clients what to say. It’s about helping them develop awareness, capacity, and intentional engagement.

Divorce coaching extends beyond the divorce
Supporting clients in how they re-engage in relationships is where long-term transformation happens.

For Divorce Coaches: Your Role

• Help clients identify and understand their relational patterns
• Support intentional decision-making, not reactive choices
• Guide clients toward values-based alignment
• Encourage self-awareness over performance in dating
• Provide referrals and resources that support continued growth

Memorable Moments

• “The problem is not the pool. The problem is the filter.”
• “Readiness isn’t a feeling—it’s a capacity.”
• “Clients don’t date… they audition.”
• “The work is helping clients consciously author their next chapter.”

About the Guest

Wendy Kesser is a certified divorce coach, professional matchmaker, and founder of Get With Wendy. She specializes in working with divorced and widowed individuals, helping them navigate partner selection with intention and clarity. Wendy brings a unique perspective by combining divorce coaching with matchmaking, offering insight into how past relational dynamics influence future choices.

🔗 Learn more: https://GetWithWendy.com

In this episode, Tracy Callahan breaks down why communication strategies often fail in high conflict divorce—and how, in many cases, communication actually escalates conflict instead of resolving it.

If you’re a divorce coach, mediator, therapist, or family law professional, this conversation will shift how you understand conflict dynamics. You’ll learn why clients stay stuck in repetitive arguments, why “just communicate better” doesn’t work, and what’s really driving high conflict behavior beneath the surface.

This episode explores the hidden mechanisms of conflict in divorce, offering a deeper understanding of why traditional approaches fall short and what professionals need to see in order to create meaningful change.

Keywords naturally included:
high conflict divorce, divorce communication, conflict resolution in divorce, divorce coaching, family law conflict, mediation challenges, conflict dynamics, emotional conflict, divorce professionals

In This Episode:

• Why communication fails in high conflict divorce

• How communication can escalate conflict instead of resolving it

• Understanding conflict dynamics beneath surface-level behavior

• Why clients repeat the same arguments without resolution

They discuss the gap between when conflict happens and when support is available how emotional dis-regulation impacts decision making and communication and why creating pause awareness and simple tools is essential for better outcomes. Tamara shares how DivorceWave can help clients regulate process emotions and respond more intentionally in real time while supporting the work coaches are already doing.

Timecodes
00:00 Welcome and introduction to conflict in divorce
02:00 Why divorce unfolds in emotional waves
04:20 The disconnect between support and real life moments
06:20 Common reactive decisions that escalate conflict
09:15 The importance of pause and emotional regulation
11:40 Limits of attorneys mediators and therapists in real time
14:20 Recognizing and interrupting conflict patterns
18:20 Introducing the DivorceWave app
25:15 How coaches can use DivorceWave with clients
28:20 Rethinking support between sessions

Key Takeaways
Conflict in divorce happens between sessions not during them
Emotional triggers override logic and lead to reactive decisions
Creating space before responding is one of the most powerful tools
Pattern awareness is the first step to breaking conflict cycles
Clients need real time tools not just scheduled support
DivorceWave helps extend support beyond sessions in practical accessible ways

Divorce coaching conflict resolution emotional regulation during divorce co parenting conflict divorce mediation support divorce coaching tools managing divorce stress high conflict divorce help mindfulness divorce divorce coach resources

DivorceWave is an on demand digital divorce coach designed to support your clients between sessions when they need it most. Whether they are triggered by an angry text from their Ex spiraling at 2 AM or heading into a tough conversation DivorceWave gives them tools to regulate strategize and move forward in the moment when it counts.
Get started DivorceWave.com and click the link to "Try Divorce Wave for Free"

Special Offers Mentioned in This Episode

For Coaches Try It Free Use code DCACOACH at checkout for 100 percent off 6 months of access. Expires May 31 2026. Do not wait on this one.

Share the Savings Give your clients code WAVERIDER to take 80 dollars off an annual subscription just 49.99 for the entire year plus a 7 day free trial so they can explore before committing.

In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy podcast, Debra Doak explains why communication breaks down during divorce conflict and what’s really happening beneath the surface when conversations escalate. From emotional flooding and mismatched conflict styles to defensive listening and unspoken expectations, this episode breaks down the five key reasons communication fails—and how to fix it.

Whether you're a divorce coach, mediator, or navigating divorce yourself, you’ll gain practical tools to improve communication, reduce conflict, and make better decisions during one of life’s most challenging transitions.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How emotional triggers impact communication in divorce
• Why conflict styles (pursuer vs. avoider) create tension
• The importance of active listening in high-conflict conversations
• How assumptions and expectations fuel misunderstandings
• Strategies divorce coaches use to help clients communicate effectively

If you're looking to reduce conflict, improve co-parenting communication, or support clients through divorce, this episode is a must-listen.

Keywords: divorce communication, conflict resolution in divorce, divorce coaching, co-parenting communication, high conflict divorce, emotional flooding, communication breakdown, divorce support, divorce coach training, managing conflict in relationships

This conversation is especially valuable for divorce coaches, mediators, family law professionals, and anyone navigating divorce conflict. If you want a deeper understanding of conflict resolution in divorce, divorce coaching, and curiosity in mediation, this episode offers practical insight into a more thoughtful and effective approach.

Key Takeaways

• Curiosity can interrupt defensiveness and reduce conflict escalation.
• Certainty about being right or fair often blocks productive communication.
• Divorce is not just a legal process. It is a conflict process.
• Many traditional divorce and mediation models overlook the relational dynamics driving conflict.
• Divorce coaches play an important role in helping clients build self-awareness and engage more effectively in difficult conversations.

Chapters

• 00:00 The Role of Curiosity in Conflict Resolution
• 06:32 Insight Approach to Conflict
• 19:17 Limits of Professional Roles in Developing Curiosity
• 28:26 Development of Resources for Self-Discovery and Conflict Engagement

While parents navigate legal decisions, emotional strain, and uncertainty, there is often a well-intended instinct to protect children by minimizing what they see or feel. But what happens when that protection becomes silence—and a child’s experience goes unacknowledged?

Tracy is joined by Carolyn Jacobs—certified divorce and co-parenting coach, parenting plan mediator, and DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach—to examine the critical distinction between shielding children from conflict and unintentionally disconnecting from their reality. Together, they unpack how children process what they sense versus what they’re told, the risks of “holding it together,” and how parents can model emotional honesty without placing emotional weight on the child.

Grounded in DCA®’s framing of divorce as a conflict and communication process, this conversation highlights how parent-child communication during divorce shapes a child’s long-term ability to navigate relationships, conflict, and self-expression. The episode also offers practical insight for professionals supporting parents who may be unintentionally minimizing their child’s experience—and how to begin repairing that dynamic.

The conversation extends into a broader lens on civil discourse, exploring how what happens inside the home directly influences a child’s ability to engage with difference and disagreement outside of it.

Carolyn also shares more about her upcoming Conversations that Contribute Series event: Fostering Civil Discourse Among Youth: A Conversation with Dr. Michael Saini. This 60-minute virtual event will take place on Wednesday, April 15, 2026 at 4 PM ET (1 PM PT / 3 PM CT), with tickets available for $10. Hosted by Ally in Divorce, the conversation supports Kids Managing Conflict, a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening peer mediation programs in schools. Register Here

This is a nuanced and highly relevant conversation for divorce professionals, parents, and anyone invested in how the next generation learns to navigate conflict—with clarity, empathy, and integrity.

Learn more about DCA® or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com

Instagram: www.divorcecoachesacademy/divorcecoachesacademy

LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy

Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

The moment a divorcing client looks at us and says, “Just tell me what to do,” it can feel almost cruel not to step in with the answer. But that impulse is exactly where ethics, skill, and real transformation live. We sit down with Andrea Hips, LBSW and certified divorce coach, to talk about power, agency, and why “being the expert” can quietly become the fastest way to take power away from the person we’re trying to help.

We get specific about the difference between power and control, and why divorce makes people chase certainty like it’s oxygen. When a client clings to one outcome, we unpack what they’re really reaching for: safety, stability, and relief from overwhelm. From there we move into practical coaching tools for conflict-informed divorce coaching and alternative dispute resolution minded support, including how to slow down decisions under legal pressure, how to build distress tolerance, and how to help clients act wisely while uncertainty stays right beside them.

We also name the subtle ways coaches can unintentionally influence choices through tone, affirmations, and question framing. Andrea shares a simple North Star: there are many right answers, and hindsight isn’t something you can buy today. Protecting client agency is not a “nice to have” in divorce coaching, it’s the standard that builds capacity, reduces escalation, and helps clients leave coaching stronger than they arrived.

If you care about ethical divorce coaching, client autonomy, and decision making in high-conflict divorce, listen through and take notes. Subscribe, share this with a coach or friend going through divorce, and leave a review with the biggest shift you’re taking from the conversation.

Learn more about DCA® or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Takeaways

• Self-actualization is essential in dispute resolution
• The value of presence and process in supporting growth and development

Chapters

• 00:00 Foundational Principles of Dispute Resolution
• 06:09 Recognizing the Need for Self-Actualization
• 12:11 Value of Presence and Process
• 17:52 Recognizing and Managing Personal Discomfort

The holidays promise cheer, yet for many families they amplify tension, unmet expectations, and quiet grief. We open the door to a calmer path by guiding clients through a practical, humane pre-decision continuum that reduces conflict before lawyers, filings, or ultimatums take center stage. 

Since January is known for a surge in divorce inquiries, we make the case that it should be known for something better: thoughtful coaching that stabilizes emotions and turns fear into informed choice.

In this episode, host Tracy Callahan and guest, Dori Braddell, DCA Certified Divorce Coach and Director of Education and Development for DCA Canada, discuss divorce client preparation. They break the journey into three clear stages. First, Stay Well: we focus on stabilization and containment—sleep, nutrition, mindfulness, supportive connection—and name the SCARF triggers (status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, fairness) that fuel reactivity. We help clients separate emotional distress from decision urgency and build safety plans and communication guardrails. Next, Wait With Intention: a purposeful pause for values clarification and fact-finding. We reverse-engineer desired outcomes for parenting, housing, and cash flow; gather financial data and process options; and model neutral, non-adversarial language. We stay in lane ethically by sharing general information and framing precise attorney questions without offering legal advice. Finally, Go With Purpose: clients convert preparation into action with a scripted, respectful approach to “the talk,” a short-term financial buffer, interim housing choices, parenting status quo, and a calm first agenda that sets the tone for mediation and collaborative solutions.

Throughout, we underscore leadership and empathy: the prepared spouse takes care to avoid blindsiding and offers space for the other to process. For fellow coaches and ADR professionals, we share practical readiness tips—open discovery slots, align messaging to “divorce decision month,” refresh templates, and protect your own container against compassion fatigue—so you can meet the January surge with clarity and heart. Preparation is peace. Subscribe, share this episode with a colleague who needs a January playbook, and leave a review telling us which stage your clients struggle with most.

To connect Dori through her role with DCA:
Dori Braddell, DCA Certified Divorce Coach; Director of Education and Development for DCA Canada
Email: dca.ca@divorcecoachesacademy.com 

Dori's private practice: https://www.thedivorcementor.ca/about-me

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Divorce can knock the wind out of the protector identity many men carry. We explore what happens when that role shakes, why so many dads go silent, and how outcome-oriented coaching can turn conflict into a proving ground for empathy, clarity, and calm co-parenting. 

In this DCA Podcast episode, Tracy welcomes JH Harper, a DCA-certified ADR divorce coach and executive communication coach, who works primarily with fathers. Together we get practical about the tools that actually help: the three phrases men struggle to say without a caveat (“I’m sorry,” “I don’t know,” “I need help”), cognitive empathy through role-play, and the SCARF model for mapping triggers around status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness.

We dig into the stories men tell themselves—about failure, blame, and masculinity—and replace them with questions that move things forward. What kind of dad do you want to be in five years? What experience do you want your child to have at big milestones when both parents share the room? Instead of staring at the obstacle, we focus on future mapping, micro-scripts for hard conversations, and agreements that stabilize kids’ routines. JH shares how fatherhood becomes a live wire to empathy and purpose, and why “combat is optional” can be a north star during negotiations and co-parenting.

You’ll hear honest talk about the loneliness men face, shifting gender roles, and the subtle ways language in the divorce space can exclude fathers. Most of all, you’ll get a playbook for redefining strength as accountability, presence, and calm leadership. If you or a dad you love is navigating separation, this conversation offers a way to lift your eyes from the rear-view mirror to the horizon line of a healthier family dynamic.

If this resonated, share it with someone who needs it, subscribe for more real-talk on divorce and conflict, and leave a review to help others find the show. Your feedback shapes future conversations.
______________________________________

JH Harper is a DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach. A former journalist, he is also an executive coach who works with high-profile leaders globally on communications principles. He lives in New York City. 

To follow and connect with JH:

Divorce Transition Coaching For Men: Website 

The Good Change: Substack newsletter

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoachfordads 

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Have you been pouring endless energy into social media with minimal return for your divorce coaching practice? It might be time to unlock the most powerful marketing tool you're probably neglecting—your email list.

Trust serves as the cornerstone of the coach-client relationship, particularly when guiding someone through the emotional complexities of divorce. While social platforms broadcast your message widely, they lack the intimacy and privacy that email marketing delivers directly to your ideal client's inbox. As we often remind our coaching community, "If social media is the cocktail party, email marketing is meeting up for coffee."

The statistics don't lie—email marketing consistently outperforms social media in conversion rates, especially for service-based businesses like divorce coaching. Why? Because your subscribers have already demonstrated interest by sharing their email address, creating a warm lead that's significantly more likely to become a paying client. Plus, you completely own this asset. No algorithm changes, no shadow bans, no disappearing followers—just a direct line to people who've expressed interest in your expertise.

We walk you through creating compelling lead magnets that address specific pain points for divorcing individuals—from co-parenting communication guides to money-saving divorce checklists. The real magic happens in what follows: a thoughtfully crafted nurture sequence that builds trust, demonstrates your expertise, and gently guides potential clients toward working with you. Most importantly, we share how to confidently extend invitations to your services without coming across as pushy or sales-focused.

Whether you're just starting your coaching practice or looking to grow your established business, this episode provides a clear roadmap for building an email strategy that converts interested prospects into paying clients. Take one action step this week—choose an email provider, brainstorm lead magnet ideas, or draft your first nurture sequence. Your future clients are waiting in your inbox!

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We dig into how clear, consistent messaging helps divorce coaches cut through noise, educate the market, and build real authority without slipping into self‑promotion. Jason Harper joins us to share a practical playbook for clarity of purpose, audience fit, and sustainable cadence.

• messaging as a professional competency, not an optional add‑on
• clarity of purpose across layers: educate, validate, and seed ideas
• defining your audience and where they actually listen
• choosing platforms that match your strengths and voice
• building a breadcrumb trail that validates credibility
• service‑first content vs personal narrative as the lead
• practical examples that show outcomes, not hype
• consistency, cadence, and durability over vanity metrics
• differentiating divorce coaching for the wider public
• ethics, boundaries, and professionalization of the field

If this conversation resonated with you, please share it with a colleague or continue these discussions within your professional community

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

In this week's episode, Debra is joined by recent DCA™ Divorce Conflict Coaching graduates Dori Braddell and Sue Horwitz to talk about their experience in the training and how they've been able to put their new skills to use.

Dori and Sue were gracious enough to take time out of their busy schedules to discuss how they had been struggling with helping clients manage conflict, what prompted them to enroll in the course, and the biggest takeaways they got from the experience.

Both are certified divorce coaches who have significant training and experience under their belts, and yet, they were missing the science behind conflict, the specific tools to use with clients, and the confidence to lean in.

Listen in as they share what a difference conflict coaching has made in their coaching practice and for their clients. We hope you'll consider adding this speciality training to your 2023 professional development calendar.

If you'd like to be the first to know when the next session of DCA™ Divorce Conflict Coaching opens, join the wait list today.

Feel free to reach out to Dori or Sue to ask them ALL the questions about their experience in the class. Trust us, they're believers!

Get in touch with Dori:
Website: www.thedivorcementor.ca
Email: dori@thedivorcementor.ca
Instagram: @divorcementor
Facebook: @thedivorcementor
LinkedIn: Dori Braddell

Get in touch with Sue:
Website: www.suehorwitzcoaching.com
Email: sue@suehorwitz.com
Instagram: @suehorwitz
Facebook: @suehorwitzcoaching
LinkedIn: Sue Horwitz


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

In past episodes we’ve talked about strategies you can use with clients to improve their chances of success in mediation. But today we dig into the importance of choosing the right mediator and what to do if your mediator or your client’s mediator seems to be the one complicating the process.

We review the role of a mediator and some of the professional ethics they are bound by because one thing that can cause problems is when clients don't  have a clear understanding of what the process is (and what it isn’t).

Then we offer up 8 important questions for your client to ask any mediator they are considering working with. And we identify 4 red flags to watch out for during the mediation process. Finally, we discuss 4 courses of action someone can take if they feel like their mediator is conducting themselves in a manner that violates the standards of neutrality, impartiality or self-determination.

Just like every other part of their divorce, we encourage clients to take charge of their own process and that includes any professionals they hire to assist them. 

Resource: Academy of Professional Family Mediators Standards of Practice for Professional Family Mediators

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Today we're shining a light on two of the biggest struggles faced by those of us running our businesses solo. And we can tell you from years of experience working with and training certified divorce coaches, the majority of us are independent practitioners. From juggling multiple hats to navigating the sometimes lonely path of entrepreneurship, we're doing it all. And, not everyone makes it.

Solopreneurship is not just a business venture; it's a courageous journey where we are the architects of our own destiny, navigating the challenges of self-reliance, embracing the solitude of innovation, and finding strength in the resilience of our entrepreneurial spirit. Exciting on one hand, yet tremendously scary at the same time!

Being a solopreneur is not for the faint of heart. We were exhausted just talking through the list of all the roles we have to play. And trying to do it all in isolation without support or social interaction - well that doubles the difficulty. 

We've shared that scary ICF statistic that 4 out of 5 coaching businesses fail. But we know plenty of divorce coaching professionals who have thriving practices - it just takes strategy and intention to combat the struggles of solopreneurship. So while you may be running a solo practice, you don't have to do it alone!

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

The fastest way to erode trust in divorce coaching is to leave the role undefined. In this episode, we dig into why standards of practice aren’t bureaucracy—they’re the backbone that makes our work predictable, referable, and genuinely useful inside family law, mediation, and collaborative practice. When coaches adopt a clear, ADR-aligned framework, we shift from personality-driven promises to process-driven outcomes that protect clients, respect boundaries, and earn credibility with attorneys and mediators.

We unpack the hard questions that clients and professionals shouldn’t have to guess at: What does a divorce coach do? Where does the role stop? How do we avoid confusing coaching with therapy, legal advice, or mediation? You’ll hear a real case that’s popping up across the field: coaches advertising that they “write parenting plans.” 

We explain why that crosses into legal drafting and decision authority, and we show the standards-aligned alternative—helping clients identify interests and needs, apply cognitive empathy to understand the other parent’s priorities, center children’s developmental realities, and craft interest-based proposals that can be negotiated for buy-in. That’s not document creation; it’s decision-making capacity building.

We also share practical steps to operationalize standards: publish them on your site as a professional anchor, weave them into intake and client agreements for informed consent, and use shared language that mirrors how attorneys, mediators, and therapists think about roles and boundaries. Along the way, we talk candidly about scope drift, social media pressure, and how ad hoc practices weaken referrals and credibility. If you’re ready to raise the bar through training, mentorship, and case consultation, these guidelines offer a path from “how I do it” to “how our profession operates.”

If this resonates, read the DCA Standards of Practice, integrate them into your materials, and share them with your referral partners. 

Subscribe, leave a review, and share with a colleague.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

When clients act out of fear, anger, powerlessness, overwhelm, or other emotions, they aren’t making the best decisions for themselves. This week, we’re talking all about triggers - why they happen and what you, as a coach, can do to support your clients in managing those emotional responses.

How many times have you heard a client say, “that triggered me”? Or do you notice they're having a strong reaction to an event that seems out of proportion? It could be their amygdala that's to blame.

The most primitive part of our brain, the amygdala, often called our reptilian or lizard brain, is responsible for our survival. The amygdala is on guard 24/7 scanning the environment for safety. It lights up when a threat (real or perceived) is detected and fires off a series of automatic physical responses that prepare the body to respond to danger.

It makes sense that people feel threatened during divorce and that feeling can cause them to act in aggressive ways, have problems with rational thinking, engage in poor decision making, and damage personal relationships.

As a coach, what’s your first response? Do you roll your eyes and think your client is being overdramatic? Do you overstep the comments because you aren’t sure what to do or how to best support that client? Listen in as Tracy and Debra offer 5 tips and a number of tools you can use to support your clients when their emotions try to run the show.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We are thrilled to bring you another coach spotlight interview today with fellow CDC Ashley Wood, also known as The Conscious CoParent.

Ashley Wood is a CDC Certified Divorce Coach® in service to parents who feel overwhelmed by divorce, hopeless about co-parenting, and concerned about how living in two homes may impact their children. As a coach Ashley helps parents regain a clear sense of direction, reduce conflict with their former partner and support their children’s growth and resilience through all of the challenges and changes associated with family restructuring.

Ashley says a common question she gets from clients is whether they should be co-parenting or parallel parenting. She encourages them to take a step back and examine their own needs, their own best self/core values, and how they want to model resilience to their children.

She and Tracy talk about how the foundation of divorce coaching and the concept of exploring our best selves is so critical when it comes to making it through all the big changes that divorce and co-parenting require of us. Ashley reminds us that children's ability to be resilient and make it through this process are based on 3 main factors:

1) The parent's ability to support a healthy relationship with the other parent
2) The parent's ability to reduce the child's exposure to conflict
3) The parent's ability to focus on their own parenting skills

While we can work with our clients to communicate effectively with BIFF or EAR statements, the bottom line is that we cannot control anything our co-parent does or doesn't do. We can help our clients continue live well and be the best parents they can be regardless of how the other parent behaves.

Work with clients to prioritize their own needs, establish boundaries, and let go of the need for control - these are the keys to a post divorce life of peace for themselves and their children.



You can find Ashley at the following links:

Website: www.ashleywooddivorcecoach.com
Social Media (IG, TikTok, FB etc.) @theconsciouscoparent
Podcast: Split. The After Ever After Podcast
FREE Support Group via Circles App: The Conscious CoParent Connection

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Divorce coaching isn't just for one type of professional anymore. What began as a niche service has evolved into a versatile skill set embraced by lawyers, mediators, paralegals, therapists, financial professionals, mortgage lenders, realtors and entrepreneurs—each using these powerful tools in unique ways.

For attorneys, divorce coach certification addresses a critical gap in legal education. While law school prepares them for legal analysis and courtroom advocacy, it rarely teaches the soft skills needed to manage highly emotional clients making life-altering decisions. Certified divorce coach training provides structured frameworks for helping clients regulate emotions, clarify values, and make informed choices. Lawyers who complete our program consistently report more productive client meetings, less time spent on emotional management, and greater professional satisfaction. As one family law attorney with decades of experience told us, "This is the best continuing education I've ever taken."

Mediators find that coaching skills dramatically improve client preparation and engagement. The ability to help clients articulate needs, understand interests (rather than positions), and develop realistic expectations transforms mediation outcomes. Meanwhile, paralegals and other legal support professionals discover new career opportunities, with some boutique firms now creating dedicated in-house divorce coach positions—a trend that benefits both clients and legal teams by reducing stress and improving service delivery.

Beyond the legal field, our certification attracts therapists seeking to expand their practice, financial professionals wanting to better understand the emotional components of financial decisions during divorce, and entrepreneurs building innovative support services. What unites this diverse community is a commitment to transforming how people experience divorce—reducing unnecessary conflict, preserving co-parenting relationships, and empowering clients to make thoughtful decisions during a challenging life transition.

Whether you're looking to enhance your existing professional skills or create an entirely new career path, DCA's revolutionary divorce coach certification offers a structured methodology grounded in alternative dispute resolution principles. Our approach teaches that while conflict in divorce is inevitable, combat is optional. Ready to be part of this professional revolution? Our next certification cohorts begin in October, and we'd love to welcome you to this growing community of practice-changing professionals.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Feeling unheard or misunderstood by their divorce professionals can add another layer of stress to an already challenging process for our clients. What happens when their attorney seems dismissive or their forensic accountant isn't addressing their concerns? More importantly, how can you help your client effectively advocate for themselves without damaging these critical professional relationships?

This episode tackles one of the most persistent challenges we see clients face: conflict with the very professionals they've hired to support them. Tracy and Debra explore this delicate territory with practical wisdom, offering a framework for both divorce coaches and their clients to navigate these situations effectively. Rather than simply validating frustrations, we examine how to transform these moments into opportunities for developing lifelong conflict resolution skills.

At the heart of our approach is the understanding that most professional conflicts stem from misalignments in communication styles, expectations, or priorities—not sabotage. We break down specific techniques like creating "conflict prep sheets," practicing non-violent communication, and managing emotional reactivity when power dynamics feel intimidating. These tools help clients move from feeling victimized to becoming empowered advocates for their needs.

The skills developed through addressing these professional relationship challenges extend far beyond divorce. When clients learn to assert themselves effectively with their attorney or accountant, that newfound confidence transfers to negotiations, co-parenting, workplace interactions, and countless other relationships. As we often say, communication is both the source of conflict and its solution—making these skills among the most valuable tools we can provide our clients.

Whether you're a divorce coach looking to better support clients through professional relationship challenges or someone navigating your own divorce journey, this episode offers actionable strategies for turning conflict into opportunity. Ready to transform how you approach difficult conversations? Listen now and discover why we consider ourselves "conflict junkies" who believe in the life-changing potential of mastering these essential skills.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Compassion fatigue silently affects countless divorce coaches—many don't even realize they're experiencing it until they're deep in burnout territory. Tracy and Debra tackle this critical topic by explaining how the very empathy that makes coaches effective can become their downfall without proper boundaries.

The conversation dives into what compassion fatigue actually looks like in real coaching scenarios—that emotional exhaustion when you can't stop thinking about a client's problems, the way you might feel angry on behalf of a client, or how certain sessions leave you completely drained. These aren't just normal professional challenges; they're warning signs that your professional container needs reinforcement.

What makes this episode particularly valuable is the practical framework Tracy and Debra provide for maintaining a sustainable coaching practice. They introduce the concept of the "professional container"—both external (how you structure your practice) and internal (how you manage your mindset and emotional responses). This container isn't about distancing yourself from clients' pain but rather creating boundaries that allow you to provide consistent, clear-headed support without absorbing their trauma.

The most powerful insight comes when they assert: "Empathy without containment becomes contagion." This perspective shift alone could transform how coaches approach their work. Rather than seeing boundaries as limitations on caring, Tracy and Debra reframe them as the essential infrastructure that makes deep, sustainable compassion possible.

Whether you're new to divorce coaching or a seasoned professional who's feeling the weight of client struggles, this episode offers concrete strategies to strengthen your practice—from establishing rituals of release between sessions to engaging in regular peer support and continuing education. These aren't just self-care luxuries; they're professional necessities for anyone committed to this emotionally demanding field.

Curious about strengthening your professional container? Visit divorcecoachesacademy.com to explore our training programs, case consultation groups, and professional development opportunities designed specifically for divorce coaches who want to bring their best selves to this important work.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

What does it really mean to be "trauma-informed" as a divorce coach? Beyond the buzzword, there's a profound responsibility to understand how trauma impacts our clients without overstepping our professional boundaries.

Tracy and Debra dive deep into this increasingly popular term, clarifying that being trauma-informed isn't about taking one class or having experienced trauma yourself. Rather, it's developing a working knowledge of how trauma affects the brain, nervous system, and behavior—then intentionally creating safety in your coaching relationships.

For divorce coaches, this understanding is crucial because divorce itself can be traumatizing. When clients apologize for crying, speak rapidly and scattered, or seem emotionally detached, these are often trauma responses. The magic happens not by diving into past wounds (that's therapy's domain), but by offering a different experience: one where clients feel heard, respected, and empowered to access their own wisdom.

The most powerful revelation? Properly trained divorce coaches are already practicing trauma-informed care through client autonomy, co-regulation, and appropriate boundaries. When a client has experienced controlling relationships, simply asking "What feels right for you?" helps rebuild agency. When someone is emotionally dysregulated, your calm presence can help settle their nervous system enough to think clearly.

Ready to strengthen your trauma-informed approach? Focus on continued learning about neuroscience, develop self-awareness around your triggers, participate in regular supervision, and remember that your presence—grounded in curiosity and compassion—is your most powerful tool. You don't need to be a trauma expert to create safety; you just need to honor your client's humanity and pace.

Curious how this applies to your coaching practice? Connect with us on social media or at divorcecoachesacademy.com. Want to deepen these skills? Join our affordable case consultation group that meets twice monthly. Your commitment to this approach isn't just professional excellence—it's transformative for clients navigating one of life's most challenging transitions.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Endings matter as much as beginnings in coaching relationships. Yet how many of us have let client relationships simply fade away without proper closure? In this deeply personal conversation, Tracy and Debra explore how thoughtfully designed "exit sessions" can transform the conclusion of coaching relationships from awkward goodbyes into powerful graduations that honor client growth.

Tracy shares her proven "Five R's" framework—Reflection, Recognition, Resources, Road Ahead, and Relationship—which provides a structured approach to celebrating progress, acknowledging challenges overcome, and equipping clients for continued success. Through heartfelt examples, the hosts reveal why these sessions often trigger emotional responses from both clients and coaches alike. As Tracy explains, "I have absolutely gotten emotional during exit sessions... not because I'm sad it's ending, but because I am truly proud of what my client has accomplished."

Beyond the emotional benefits, the hosts discuss the practical advantages of offering exit sessions as complimentary services that demonstrate a commitment to client transformation rather than ongoing dependency. This approach reinforces the coaching philosophy of empowering clients to become their own best advocates while simultaneously creating powerful referral sources.

Whether you're a seasoned divorce coach or just beginning your practice, this episode offers actionable strategies for implementing meaningful closure in your client relationships. Start small with reflective questions or adopt the complete framework—either way, your clients will remember how you made them feel in that final conversation. Ready to transform your practice with intentional endings? Listen now and discover how to help your clients truly "graduate" from coaching with dignity, confidence, and the tools they need for their journey ahead.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Facing divorce and wondering what happens to your home? The decision to keep or sell the marital residence could be the most significant financial choice you make during your divorce—and getting it wrong might haunt you for years.

Tami Wollensak, a divorce mortgage specialist with over 25 years of experience and certified divorce coach, pulls back the curtain on what really happens with mortgages during divorce. She reveals why so many people make catastrophic financial mistakes when it comes to the family home, often because they receive guidance from well-meaning professionals who lack specialized mortgage knowledge.

Throughout our conversation, Tami breaks down complex concepts into practical insights: the true definition of home equity, how support payments affect mortgage qualification, and why your current mortgage payment bears little resemblance to what you might pay after divorce. She shares her own post-divorce homeownership struggles and offers a refreshingly honest take on why renting might be the smarter option for many.

Most crucially, Tami explains the specific timing requirements for using support income to qualify for mortgages—information that even many attorneys don't understand. Did you know child support payments must be court-ordered, received consistently for six months, AND have at least 36 months remaining to count toward mortgage qualification? This single detail could make or break your ability to keep your home.

Whether you're a divorce professional helping clients navigate this terrain or someone personally facing these decisions, this episode provides the mortgage literacy needed to avoid costly mistakes. Discover why consulting a divorce mortgage specialist early in the process could be the difference between post-divorce financial stability and distress.

Ready to make informed decisions about your biggest asset? Tami is licensed in 32 states and has a team that can help with mortgage lending in all 50 states. She would be happy to chat.

You can find Tami:

Website: takeorleavethehouse.com

Instagram: tami_wollensak

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

The journey of divorce and the story of The Wizard of Oz share striking parallels, making the classic tale a powerful metaphor for the emotional and personal transformation that occurs during and after a divorce. 

We explore the power of divorce coaching through this timeless story and uncover how, just like Glinda the Good Witch, we as coaches help our clients navigate their own Yellow Brick Roads, overcome obstacles, and realize they’ve had the power to make decisions and create change all along.

Instead of trusting themselves, clients often start out with the belief that a lawyer, the legal system, or a judge (The Wizard) will provide the answers for them. 

As the story unfolds, we realize that the yellow brick road actually represents the journey that Dorothy must take to realize her own power. And she meets fascinating characters (scarecrow, tin man, and cowardly lion) who represent the parts of herself she needs to discover and develop in order to reach their goals.

Dorothy’s journey isn’t just about reaching Oz—it’s about realizing that she had the power to go home all along. And isn’t that exactly what we want for our clients?

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Tracy and Debra are taking the week off to enjoy holiday time with family so we’re taking this opportunity to share an episode from the back catalog about the importance of working on a divorce exit strategy. Since many people begin thinking about divorce during the holiday season but wait util January to take any action, we thought it might be helpful to review the steps that clients can take in advance to set themselves up for a better divorce process. 

In this episode we share that most of our clients would say their top priorities are:

• minimize impact on the children
• feel confident that the settlement they’re agreeing to is fair
• keep divorce costs down
• get through the process without losing their minds

We hope you were able to spend some time with friends and family over Thanksgiving and we hope you enjoy this episode where we discuss about the 5 ways working on an exit strategy can pave the way for a good divorce if things go well and protect clients in the event that things go poorly.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Just because we have the word “divorce” in our job title doesn’t mean that we encourage divorce . As a matter of fact, you might be surprised to learn that we sometimes help save marriages.  It’s true. In fact, our favorite time to work with clients is when they are still trying to make that difficult decision of whether they should stay married or get divorced. 

Because we are actually happiness advocates. One of our most important jobs is to help clients self-discover where and how they are most likely to be able to live a fulfilling and happy life. And sometimes that means that by working with us, clients get the skills and tools to communicate more directly, set effective boundaries, manage conflict and release the burden of people-pleasing enough to change the dynamic of the relationship for the better.

We often have an amazing opportunity to help them determine if 1) they’ve really already decided but some fear is holding them back or 2) they still have hope and just don’t know how to change the repetitive patterns that have developed over time.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra discuss what experts say are the 6 most important factors for a happy relationship and how we work with clients to pinpoint what's wrong and what's possible.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

When people find out what we do, it's not unusual to hear “UGH, I wish I’d known you when I went through my divorce. I made so many mistakes.” In this week's episode, we’re reviewing the five common mistakes people make and talk about how a divorce coach helps clients sidestep those mistakes and save time, money, relational damage and emotional energy.

Right now the average divorce with attorneys in the US will cost each party somewhere in the neighborhood of $15-20,000 and can easily exceed 6 figures when you add in custody battles, forensic accounting, discovery, depositions, motions, and all the other professionals and processes. Certainly legal fees can add up quickly when conflict escalates, but there are many other costs that clients pay when divorce mistakes are made.

When clients are stressed and overwhelmed and/or driven by emotions like anger, sadness, vengeance, jealousy, or indecision, their lives are impacted on every level. While those costs are much harder to quantify, they aren’t hard to observe.

Studies show that an employee can lose 40% of their productivity when going through a divorce, costing many companies millions of dollars in lost revenue. Clients who are struggling to manage their own emotions aren’t able to attend to the emotions or needs of their children in a healthy way. And when people are experiencing these costs of divorce, they may act and make decisions that don’t reflect their best selves or their best interests.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra dive into the 5 most expensive divorce mistakes and talk through the coaching tools you can use with each.


Learn more about DCA® or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Our clients show up with a multitude of problems, questions, and difficult dilemmas. And the truth is, we’re tempted to offer a solution or an answer because it’s faster, easier, and eliminates our client’s distress. Today we want to talk about that urge to tell clients what to do - or what we call superhero syndrome.

One of the most difficult things to navigate as a divorce coach is that we can see the road ahead, have knowledge and insight the client doesn’t have, and want desperately to help them avoid mistakes and problems. It’s tempting to want to put on that superhero cape and rush to the rescue. But it’s not effective.

Giving the answer isn’t the answer. The best solution for our clients is to help them develop skills to make their own decisions and take their own best next action steps and we have 4 tools to do that.

• Active/Reflective Listening
• Powerful Questioning
• Reality Testing
• Impact Assessment

This work with your clients takes discipline. Every coach has to occasionally fight that urge to tell or just hand our client the solution. But, trust that your client has it in them. It’s your job to help them find it.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We talked earlier this year about why we hate toxic positivity and it obviously hit a nerve. It’s one of our most downloaded episodes, so we thought we’d unpack that a little more and spend some time chatting about why we want professional divorce coaches to stop referring to themselves as cheerleaders.

Cheerleader: be an enthusiastic supporter of someone or something

Coach: to teach, motivate, and support team members in reaching their potential

A cheerleader says "Yay, you can do it" but with the skill set you already have. On the other hand, a coach says "You can do it AND I’ll help you figure out what you need to be successful".

Positive thinking or what we call toxic positivity is unhelpful, breaks trust, and can cause damage when clients are struggling with some of the difficulties of divorce. It doesn't include help to acquire the skills or insight to overcome the barriers or be able to accomplish their goals.

Divorce coaching is a form of ADR - our job is to help our clients manage conflict, not ignore it. And in order to do that hard work of skill development or self-reflection, we need to build a foundation of trust by validating the client's feelings, not stepping over them.

In other words, we have to name it to tame it to reframe it. Supporting clients to identify and process those emotions puts them in a better place to be ready to take action in their divorce or co-parenting process. And that's our ultimate goal.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

There’s a lot of confusion out there about what being a certified divorce coach means and why it matters. Advocating for the profession of divorce coaching is part of our mission here at DCA™ and today we’re talking about how important it is that anyone calling themselves a divorce coach have the proper training and credentials.

If we want professional recognition and a seat at the table, we need to start raising the bar. And speaking of bar...recall that the American Bar Association recognizes divorce coaching as a form of alternative dispute resolution. Not advice-giving, advocacy, or consultancy. Not cheerleaders or positive psychology peddlers. And not life coaches.

We are ADR specialists. In order to call ourselves professional divorce coaches, we need to have rigorous training that includes both an ADR foundation and coaching frameworks, demonstrate competency under the guidance of a mentor coach, and adhere to a code of ethics and professional conduct.

One of the things that really muddies the waters in the world of divorce coaching is that there is no international, national or state certifying body. There are many training programs that provide varying levels and types of education, but no overseer that insures these programs align with the ABA ADR-based definition.

Trademarks, logos and taglines are great - but they only mean that a program or organization has protected their name legally, not that they've been granted any authority. And DCA™ does not intend to pursue ICF accreditation because we do not align with their general coaching competencies - more specific tools and skills are required for effective conflict resolution and work as an ADR practitioner.

We hope you'll join us on our mission to raise the bar on the professional practice of divorce coaching so we can all get a seat at the table.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Attorney-client relationships are complicated in divorce. And we're guessing that you hear the same common complaints that we do - clients are frustrated that they aren't able to communicate with their attorney in a way that feels effective.

This week we're talking about some of the issues that contribute to this dynamic and what you, as a coach, can do to support your client in taking steps to improve communication with their attorney.

First, you can assist your client in turning their fears into questions. Rather than dumping all their emotions and anxiety into an email to their attorney, help them distill all of that into a few specific legal questions. That will ensure they get the legal advice and guidance they need in a cost effective way. It will help their attorney help them.

Next, you can work with your client to get back in touch with their own power. Especially for those that are coming out of relationships where there's been a power imbalance, they may be deferring to their attorney because they see them as being in power over them.

And finally, you're a great thinking partner to help them assess if it's a relationship that can be turned around or if they'd like to interview some other attorneys to see if they want to look for someone who's a better fit.

No matter what kind of frustration your client is experiencing, your coaching skills can support them in identifying their fears, distilling specific questions, editing emails, sitting in on meetings, and making decisions about changing attorneys. You have the ability to help them take back control of their own divorce process.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

It's gonna be OK. You're going to get through this just fine. You'll be so glad when it's over.  Focus on the good.

In today's episode, we unpack why we believe these kinds of statements aren't just ineffective from a coaching standpoint, but can actually harm clients.

 Toxic positivity is defined as the act of avoiding, suppressing, or rejecting negative emotions or experiences. This is not optimism, this is repression or denial. And when we, as coaches, reject or deny the negative feelings our clients are expressing, we block the ability for them to process the story of their divorce.

We can even take it so far as to say it can be a form of gaslighting when we deny a client's feelings. They're telling us something is hurtful or painful, and if we respond with a placating, positive statement like "you'll be fine" or "it's going to be OK", we have essentially gaslit them by denying their feelings.

Our job is to validate their feelings. To recognize their negative emotions and help them sort through them so that they can take appropriate action.  Our role is to be a coach, not a cheerleader.

Listen in for a great analogy from college football and some coaching alternatives to standard toxic positivity responses.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

In today's episode, Tracy and Debra talk about how the coaching conversation is intentionally different from a conversation with friends and family.  While divorce coaches are great listeners, empathetic, and caring, we're also professionals who are there to get results for our clients.

In order to achieve those results, we need to understand where the client wants to go. Much like using a GPS in our cars, we have to know our destination in order to plan a route to get there.

When clients inevitably show up with a whole host of issues, emotions and concerns (what Tracy refers to as the "dump truck"), we serve them best when we can help them sort through and prioritize what needs attention.  Establishing a specific focus for each client session allows the client to feel a sense of forward motion, some progress toward their goals.

Not only does this help your client feel confident and empowered moving through their divorce process, but it makes them feel amazing about their work with you. And that's good for business because referrals from happy clients can be one of the best sources of new business for you.

Listen in as we discuss why establishing session focus is the key to getting results for clients and for building your practice.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Today’s conversation is going to be nothing but a naked plea for all divorce coaching professionals to stop trying to do this on your own.

Successful divorce coaches understand the value of seeking professional development, connection and feedback to continually improve their coaching practice.

What a lot of people fail to realize is that divorce coaching is a continuous process. It requires constant development. It takes a lot of time, energy, money, and deep inner work to build your practice and make your business work.

We dive into all the reasons you must be part of a community to achieve the success you're looking for. And we review all the ways DCA® offers the support you need to keep growing.

• Free online DCA Coach Community
• Free Bi-monthly Lunch & Learn Events
• Case Consultation Group
• Specialty Trainings

The bottom line ... If you’re struggling to build the coaching practice of your dreams, stop trying to do it alone.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We've talked previously about the problem cycle (see episode #69), but recently learned about the 3 poisons in Buddhism and they seem particularly applicable to some of the issues we see in divorce and co-parenting. 

In his early teachings, the Buddha identified “three poisons” or three negative qualities of the mind that cause most of our problems—and most of the problems in the world. 

1. Attachment: we want to attract and hold on to what is good for us (also called greed or lust).
2. Aversion: we want to repel what is bad for us (also called aggression or anger).
3. Ignorance: we are indifferent to what doesn’t affect us personally (also called delusion).  

So in this week's episode, Tracy and Debra are going to see if we can’t use some of this ancient wisdom to gain insight into shifting clients out of the problem cycle or suffering, into a mindset more grounded in acceptance and action. 

Listen in as we discuss how these 3 poisons show up in divorce and ways to apply the antidotes.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

At DCA, we share a vision that couples would have the ability to rearrange and restructure their relationships and their families in a way that leads to wholeness and happiness. Divorce is often seen as an end—an ending to a marriage, an ending to a chapter of life. But what if it didn’t have to be a painful, adversarial process? What if divorce could be approached with intention, healing, and collaboration, with the goal of not just separating, but rebuilding lives in a healthy, sustainable way?

In today’s episode, we explore the idea of restorative divorce—an approach that focuses on healing, mutual respect, and long-term well-being for both partners. We’ll dive into how this process works, how it differs from adversarial divorce, and why we believe it’s a better way forward.

We wrestle with the concept that divorce creates a broken home, discuss the recent addition of CAPRD (Child Affected by Parental Relationship Disorder) to the DSM IV, and outline the six elements of a restorative divorce process. 

As opposed to traditional divorce that focuses on winning, a restorative divorce process is an alternative that can reduce harm, encourage positive outcomes, and support healthier post-divorce relationships for everyone involved.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Being a solopreneur is hard. Being a solopreneur in a new industry is even harder. It takes a lot of focus, intention, and community support to build a successful practice as a new divorce coach.

We say it every week in the podcast intro because we mean it. We are committed to the success of our DCA trained divorce coaches and we provide so many ways for coaches in our community to connect, learn, and grow.

Why are we so passionate about offering these kinds of opportunities for our coaches? Because we are simultaneously focused on raising the standards of practice for the profession and ensuring that properly trained coaches stay in the industry.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra discuss all the ways DCA demonstrates their commitment to the coaches in our community including:

• Free online alumni community
• Free bi-monthly lunch & learn events
• Free listing on our coach locator
• Affordable professional case consultation groups
• No annual dues or certification renewal fees

We are personally invested in and committed to every single coach in our community. The world needs more properly trained and credential divorce coaches and we're here to support you every step of the way.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Two things the coaches in our community tell us they are thirsty for is more clients and more credibility. Today we want to talk about how using coach-y language creates a barrier to working with you for both potential clients and other divorce professionals. 

Divorce coaching is still a relatively new profession and is often mis-identified as a version of life coaching. This is an image that DCA is actively fighting against. It’s one of the reasons we launched our ADR focused divorce coach training - to push back against the idea that anyone can coach people going through divorce.

Divorce and co-parenting are too important and the stakes are too high when conflict and communication aren’t handled carefully.

Tune in and learn why we don't intend to affiliate with the ICF, the reputation we are battling against, and some tips for language that will get you the clients and credibility you deserve.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

One of the most common mistakes we see as divorce coaching professionals is when clients allow others to make decisions in their divorce.

Today we discuss the power of reminding clients that they are the captain of their own divorce; from deciding the type of process they use to the amount of conflict they want to introduce to the final financial and parenting agreements they make.

When clients let family, friends, attorneys or even coaches influence their choices in divorce it can leave them feeling confused and powerless. One of the greatest gifts we offer are tools and encouragement to help clients advocate for themselves. Getting them to the understanding that they are the captain of their divorce and they have hired other professionals (or asked others for input) as part of their decision-making process, but not in place of it.

When clients are able to make informed, intentional choices, they walk away from divorce feeling empowered, not victimized. And that leads to a faster and fuller recovery. After all, divorce isn't just an ending - it's also a new beginning.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk about the advantages of supporting clients to be the captain of their own ship.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Nowhere is planning more important than when we are trying to communicate in the midst of big emotions or conflict. And today, we dig into the idea of using scripts or planning what you want to say and how you want to say it.

As ADR specialists, we’ve seen hundreds of conversations and negotiations go off the rails because one party failed to be intentional about their communication. We both spend quite a bit of time with clients working on their conflict communication skills by identifying goals, developing strategies, and crafting scripts.

In today's episode, we review the 4 basic communication styles and introduce a 3-step strategy you can use yourself or with clients to communicate assertively, set boundaries, de-escalate conflict, and protect your peace.

Get ready to learn about the life-changing power of:

1. Script
2. Speak
3. Stop

Does this 3-step strategy guarantee your client will get the response they are hoping for? No, not at all. But it does mean that they can walk away from the conversation with their self-respect, boundaries, and power intact. And that's everything.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Have you ever had a client who is timid about going into mediation because they believe their spouse or co-parent will over-power or try to dominate them? Perhaps they don’t feel like they have the confidence to advocate for themselves? Today we're talking about the concept of psychological power and that’s where we can look to Sasha Fierce for inspiration to help clients prepare to go into that mediation room with confidence.

For those of you who may not know who Sasha Fierce is, she is Beyoncé’s alter ego. She created Sasha Fierce to help her separate her confident on-stage persona from her more timid at-home personality.

And if you've ever seen Beyoncé perform, you may be wondering…timid???? There is nothing timid about her performances; they are bold, sexy, and confident. Well, that's thanks to Sasha Fierce.

As divorce coaches, we can help our clients create their own alter ego and embody a temporary sense of power when they are preparing to mediate. Research has shown that being powerful and feeling powerful have essentially the same impact in negotiations. So whether your client channels Oprah, the Dalai Lama, Batman, or their best friend, the point is that they can increase their perceived psychological power.

Next time you watch a Beyoncé video, think about that. Is she timid or is she Sasha Fierce?

TED Talk on Confidence

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

On today's episode, Debra and Tracy discuss the who's who of individuals that are entering the field of divorce coaching and why they believe it is becoming so popular and important in the landscape of divorce.

Divorce coaching is a relatively new profession, but a quick Google search on the term "divorce coach" yields more than 450 million hits. Results include everything from training programs to articles to individual coach websites. More people are entering the field every day, but why is the profession growing so quickly?

We've noticed an increasing number of experienced divorce professionals such as family law attorneys, mediators, parenting coordinators, paralegals and more that are adding divorce coach training to their skill set and their services.

In this episode, we talk about the transition to alternative dispute resolution practices and the positive impact professionally trained divorce coaches are having on not just the divorce process, but on families.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We’re noticing more and more people out here saying they’re divorce coaches, but when you dive into their bios, there’s no mention of coursework or certification in divorce coaching. They're using the title but don't have the training. 

In this episode we're going on a bit of a rant about everybody and their brother calling themselves a divorce coach, but we're also going to give you some guidance about how to advocate for the profession of divorce coaching and have hard conversations with others about the importance of certification and training.

We'll review the 4 main reasons using the title without the training is problematic for our profession:

1. We're already fighting a stigma/reputation issue
2. Diminishes the credibility of those who have done it
3. Makes it harder to earn a seat at the table
4. Confuses the public

Then we'll give you some scripts you can use if you get a networking request from someone using the title without the training.

Our goal in this episode is not to bash other professionals - it’s to continue the conversation and help you advocate for the profession of divorce coaching. And that starts with speaking up about the importance of certification and training. Because you never know...your courage to step into that conversation might be the spark to get someone on the path to certification.


Learn more about DCA™ or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Today on the podcast we're doing some myth busting. If you think you're bad at math or have been afraid to dive into divorce financial matters with your clients, then keep listening. We're going to give you the confidence to jump into the deep end.

Of course financial professionals provide a ton of value in divorce and they serve a necessary role. Nobody wants amateurs valuing a business or valuing a pension, doing forensic or fraud investigation, or providing tax advice. BUT, and it's a big but ... there is so much you CAN do with clients to help them make good decisions.

That's why we're offering the Financial Foundations from a CDFA 4-week course starting in January 2023. To give you the information, tools, and even spreadsheets you need to do this foundational work with clients.

So many clients show up with $$$ fears - are they going to have enough? This is an answerable question starting with the client's budget. First their divorce budget - how much do they want to spend on their divorce, how much do they have available, and what process and what decisions would they have to choose to stay within that amount? And next, their monthly budget. What are their cash flow needs. You can work to help them identify both of these. You can also help them document their assets and debts and begin to create proposals that address their needs.

And when an outside financial professional is needed, you'll work with your client to determine who they want to hire and the scope of work they want to have done.

There's no need to punt all the financial work to the pros when you've got a CDFA to show you how to do it!


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We can’t believe it’s finally time to share this news. We’ve been working behind the scenes for months to get ready to present this incredible event and now we get to announce it to the world. Registration is now open for the Free Save Your Sanity Divorce Summit - the first ever online event featuring 27 professional certified divorce coaches. It’s our dream, honestly, and it’s happening April 22nd through the 26th.

This thing is big - it’s 5 full days and includes 25 individual talks given by DCA trained coaches covering 6 topic areas including preparing for divorce, co-parenting and custody, conflict and safety, emotional wellness, legal and financial decision making and recovery after divorce.

The main message of the Summit is “Divorce doesn’t have to wreck your mental health, empty your bank account or derail your future”.  We want attendees to take away practical tips to help them experience divorce and co-parenting in a way that puts less stress on their bank account and their personal wellness. And we hope they learn that working with a DCA trained divorce coach is the key to saving their sanity and their money.

And did we mention that it’s FREE? It’s absolutely zero cost to register and attend any speaker talk on the schedule. There is an option to upgrade to a VIP ticket for just $49 which will provide exclusive access to the VIP panel discussions, allow you to watch replays of all the talks for 30 days, and enter you to win some extra prizes.

Sign up now: Save Your Sanity Divorce Summit

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Divorce is hard enough with all the emotional turmoil, big challenges, and important decisions. It's even more difficult when your partner is intentionally working against you. But even more troublesome is when clients are working against themselves, so in this episode we're talking about self-sabotage.

 We discuss how to recognize it, and more importantly, how to support clients who are engaging in self sabotaging behavior that may be preventing them from reaching their desired goal or outcome.

Self-sabotage is a completely normal human behavior and shows up frequently in divorce and co-parenting as a result of fear of the unknown, perfectionism, lack of self belief, resistance to change, or learned behaviors.

Overcoming self-sabotage requires a combination of self-awareness, self-compassion, and intentional effort - all things divorce coaches are great at supporting our clients with.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk through why self-sabotage happens and how you can work with clients in self-destruct mode to get them on a better path.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Today we expand on a conversation we began in episode #134 by talking with a pioneer and leader in the area of restorative communication, Dr Will Bledsoe. Today he joins us to talk about how divorce may actually be an opportunity to save your relationship.

Will is the author of The Restorative Way: Harnessing the Power of Restorative Communication to Mend Relationships, Heal Trauma, and Reclaim Civility One Conversation at a Time. He has been called a pioneer for his advancement of Restorative Communication principles and practices. He is an adjunct professor of communication and a consultant who advises thought leaders, institutions, corporations, school districts, the justice system, and families to help us turn our contempt into consideration and mutual respect by utilizing Restorative Communication.

We dive into the difference between a punitive paradigm (focus on determining guilt and punishment) and a restorative one (determining and understanding needs). And we learn about the powerful 5 step process that can SHIFT anyone's emotional state from dysregulated to engaged.

• S = Spot the signs
• H = Hold Space
• I - Identify What They're Feeling
• F = Focus on What They Need in the Moment
• T = Take Action

Restorative communication is the key to a divorce that, when done right, may be the key to making the relationship with your ex healthier and more functional.

If you’re thinking about divorce and hope to minimize both the financial and relational impact, we encourage you to check out the coach locator at divorcecoachesacademy.com to find a DCA certified ADR divorce coach.

Learn More About Dr Will Bledsoe and upcoming trainings:

His Book : The Restorative Way

His Website: www.restorativeway.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Who among us wouldn’t like to be a better problem solver? Well, that’s the topic of our conversation today. We discuss the 4 general types of problems most of us face, offer some help for identifying the type of solution that’s right for each, and apply these tips to divorce and co-parenting.  

When it comes to solving problems and making tough decisions, people love plans, so they tend to make a lot of checklists, to-do lists, and timelines. And because they want the perfect plan, they often want more and more data to help them create a plan that will give them a sense of certainty. We see this so often when clients get stuck preparing to divorce. 

Why all the planning? Because uncertainty feels uncomfortable. Our tendency is to think that more information and a rock solid plan will give us control over future events. But the truth is, the ‘perfect plan’ doesn’t exist.

When faced with a problem or a decision, experts tell us that any action is better than no action; it doesn’t matter what you do, it just matters that you do, in order to learn and move forward.

Instead, having a decision making framework can give you the confidence that a solution will arise. And with the support of a certified divorce coach, you can gain insight and skills to handle difficult situations with less fear, less stress, and less conflict.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

In today's episode we’re talking about 2 big topics: First, the fact that most judges in the family court system don’t want to make decisions for your family because they don’t have sufficient time or expertise to feel confident. And second, you likely don’t want them making these decisions for your family because they don’t have sufficient time or expertise.

In most states, family court judges reach the bench through election or appointment, the requirements for becoming a family court judge are the same for becoming a judge in any other court, and often aren’t required to have any prerequisite experience handling family law cases.

We chat about the complex role of a family court judge and how inexperience, lack of training, and crushing caseloads contribute to inconsistencies in outcomes for families. And we share some frankly shocking research findings around what influences a judge's decision making.

Finally, we share some realities of the family court system that might make you think twice about taking your dispute to court. After all, nobody knows your children, your life, and your priorities better than you do.

SPECIAL OFFER
Get affordable, professional divorce support with DCA groups. Be one of the first 10 new members to sign up and use coupon code FREEGROUP to get your first month of coaching for free. Go to: divorcecoachesacademy.com/groups

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

When clients don’t feel good about their attorney, it makes a difficult process even harder and more complicated. So today, we thought it might be helpful to dive into when and how to go about hiring a legal professional so folks can find the right help and the right fit.

Much to our dismay, it still seems that most people believe the first step should be to go out and hire a fierce divorce lawyer. We know you’re probably getting all kinds of advice from friends, family and the internet that you need to protect yourself by getting the toughest lawyer out there so you can fight for what’s yours. But is that really what’s needed? And even so, is it the first step someone should take when thinking about divorce?

In this episode, we answer the questions:

• Does everyone need a lawyer?
• When should you consider hiring a divorce lawyer?
• What are common mistakes people make when choosing an attorney?
• What questions should you ask in a consultation?
• What's the right way to hire a legal professional?

Whether you choose to retain a full-service attorney, use one on a consulting or as-needed basis, or just consult with a few to get some initial opinions and input, the lawyers you choose to interact with will have a big impact on how your divorce proceeds.  A certified divorce coach can support you in identifying if you need an attorney, when to schedule consultations, what's important for you to ask, and how to choose a legal professional that's right for you.

Check the DCA® Coach Locator to find a certified divorce coach: Coach Locator

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Ever hear the expression "Expectations are just planned resentments”? When our expectations aren't met, we feel like what we got less than we deserved, which leads to disappointment and builds to resentment which increases cost, conflict, and stress in divorce.

Whether the source is tv and movies, social media, or family and friends, people can tend to enter into divorce with some preconceived notions about how it works or how things will go. They may have expectations about parenting time, how much support they’ll get, how their spouse will behave, or how assets will be divided.

And when those expectations don’t match up with the reality of their divorce process, reactions can range from mild disappointment to downright rage.

In this episode we're talking through 10 of the most common expectations we hear from clients beginning the divorce process, offering some reality testing, and sharing some tips to help them prepare to accept the reality of their situation and make choices that reflect their priorities and their values.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

There's a big difference between being a victim (having been harmed) and adopting a victim mentality. And the difference relates to how an individual responds to adversity. In this episode Tracy and Debra explore the 6 ways a  victim mentality can impact how individuals perceive and respond to conflicts. 

So, why is it so important to address victim mentality when working with clients? Because victim mentality can escalate conflict, can leave individuals feeling powerless and helpless, and can prolong the healing process and hinder emotional well-being. 

But they also share 9 tips for helping clients break free of this mentality so they can can experience greater emotional resilience, acceptance, and inner peace during and after the divorce process.

It's important to recognize that overcoming victim mentality is a journey, not a destination. Even with the best support, It requires a ton of self-reflection, courage, and a willingness for our clients to challenge their own beliefs and perceptions. Yet, by acknowledging their own agency and  responsibility for their own thoughts, feelings, and actions, clients can break free from the cycle of victimhood and reclaim their power to shape their divorce, minimize conflict, support productive co-parenting relationships, and see the possibilities for their new future.

And don't forget to register for the FREE Save Your Sanity Divorce Summit that kicks off on Monday, April 22. We've gathered more than 25 professional divorce coaches to help you protect your mental health,  your bank account or and your future.

Sign up now: Save Your Sanity Divorce Summit

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We're thrilled to be joined this week by Jackie Pilossoph, founder of Divorced Girl Smiling.  Jackie says that Divorced Girl Smiling (DGS) is like going to Starbucks with your friend to talk about your divorce and your love life. DGS is about community — the community is those facing divorce and those who have dedicated their careers to helping people in their shoes.

Today we talk about why community is so vitally important for those experiencing divorce and how the right community can improve outcomes for everyone. One of Jackie's passions is matching people with the right professionals so they can get the expert support they need. She offers a free 30-minute consult for those going through divorce where she listens with an empathetic ear and then provides personal introductions to divorce professionals with the necessary skills, knowledge and expertise.

Jackie shares how she wishes divorce coaching had been accessible when she went through her divorce. She sees how valuable it would have been to have someone other than her attorney to help her process emotions, understand the process, advocate for herself, de-escalate conflict, and make values-based decisions.

You can find Jackie and Divorced Girl Smiling:

Website: divorcedgirlsmiling.com
Instagram: @divorced_girl_smiling
Facebook: DivorcedGirlSmiling
Podcast: on Apple Podcasts

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

In previous episodes, we’ve covered conflict styles, some magic words to use in mediation and the idea of tiered proposals, but today we're talking about one the most effective negotiation strategies there is - and that’s arguing with questions.

We’ve talked before about the ineffectiveness of positional bargaining, but it’s often the only way our clients have been taught to negotiate. They make the mistake of starting off negotiations by stating their position and then proceeding to JADE (justify, argue, defend or explain) why their position is valid and their partner should agree to it. JADE-ing continues back and forth and conflict escalates until someone backs down enough to come to a compromise or they walk away and lawyer up.

But there’s another way...and it's arguing with questions. 

This is just one reason why divorce coaching can be the key to more successful negotiations. Because we have the chance to work with our clients at the individual level, we can create self-awareness. We have the chance to change those old limiting beliefs about positional bargaining. And we know that when one party shows up differently, the dance doesn’t look the same. 

Listen in as Tracy and Debra walk through these 3 tools you can use to help clients learn to argue with questions.

• Modeling
• Scripts and Vocabulary Lessons
• Role Play

Teaching your client to approach conflict with curiosity instead of justification or accusation will serve them well not only in their divorce negotiations, but in all their future relationships.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

FREE Sept Book Club "Ask for More": Sign Up Now
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Today we're talking conflict styles and how helping a client gain insight into their own as well as their partner’s dominant or historical conflict style can be a game changer in divorce.

Most couples have repetitive, unhealthy conflict patterns that have been established throughout their marriage. And those dysfunctional patterns don’t go away during divorce. As a matter of fact, they may become even more problematic when we add in the stress and fear that people experience during divorce.

So how can divorce coaches work with clients to help break those historical patterns and prepare clients for more effective conflict resolution? Well, it begins where all change begins - with awareness.

The Thomas-Kilman Model categorizes individuals into 5 styles: Competing, Avoiding, Accommodating, Compromising, and Collaborating.  Some styles are passive while some are assertive and some are cooperative while others are considered uncooperative. No one style is better or worse - each has both benefits and costs.

By understanding conflict styles, we help clients gain awareness into the dynamics that are causing problems between them and their partner/co-parent and offer choices to strategically use different conflict styles in different circumstances to achieve their goals.

Take the Conflict Management Style Assessment


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

What's a divorce coach? How you answer that question is important for 2 reasons. It's an opportunity to advocate for the profession and you have the chance to do some grassroots marketing. In today's episode, Tracy and Debra dive into the specifics of how you can answer this in a concise and impactful way.

Professional divorce coaches work with clients along a big continuum and provide so many benefits, it might feel hard to answer this question without rambling on and on. But remember, the person on the receiving end probably doesn't want to drink from a firehose. Give them a 15 second elevator pitch version - an appetizer so to speak - and then see if they ask for more.

Debra offers a template you can use to craft your own elevator pitch. You may want to create a few different versions depending on whether you are talking with an attorney, a soccer mom, or a local businessperson. Speaking with targeted language will help your listener connect and get your message heard.

The first 15 seconds of your answer to the question "what's a divorce coach?" are critical to advocating for the profession and planting the seed for future sales. Be intentional about what you say and how you say it.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

As divorce coaches, we want our clients to have a better divorce experience.  But when does that desire cross the line from supporting our client to feeling the need to save our client? Today's episode is a reminder that we serve our clients best when we stay neutral and allow them to choose their own path and make their own decisions.

We talk a little about the difference between sympathy and empathy and how sympathy pulls us into judgement, the need to give opinions, problem solving, and the urge to "save" clients from their own choices. While empathy allows us to feel what the client feels but still sit in the neutral, supportive space.

Are you tempted to put on your cape and be a superhero for your client? The simple statement "It's going to be OK" can be an indicator that you're stepping into that role. If you find yourself using phrases like "I think", "You need to", "You should", and "Have you considered" you may be trying to direct your client toward the solutions you think are best.

When we block our own curiosity, we block the client's opportunity to discover their own solutions. They're also left at the end of their divorce without knowing that they have the skills, power and agency to make good decisions going forward.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

When clients punt responsibility for their divorce decisions to others, it's a recipe for regret and resentment. In today's episode, Tracy and Debra discuss why this happens, what the repercussions are for the client, and what you can do to help.

We get it. Clients beginning the divorce process are scared. There's so much they don't understand and many assume they simply go hire an attorney and that's all they need to do. Their attorney will protect them and work for their best interests.

Ah, but it isn't that simple. Abdicating responsibility for decision making to an attorney or other professional just leaves clients feeling confused, disempowered, frustrated, and angry. These are the people that feel victimized and are still talking about their divorce 5 or 10 years after the fact.

If a client wanted to remodel their kitchen, they wouldn't let their contractors set the budget, decide where to put the electrical outlets or choose the backsplash tile. Why are they so quick to hand their power over in divorce?

As a divorce coach, our job is to help our clients take back the reins. To support them in learning to use their voice, ask questions, communicate clearly and directly, and use their divorce team members as contractors. Certainly, they may need the assistance of attorneys or financial professionals for their expertise, but our client is the decision maker.

When you can support your client to stay engaged and be in charge of their own divorce, instead of punting that to someone else, they'll be able to make informed, intentional decisions. And that's a win.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

No one likes feeling hopeless and most clients who choose mediation are desperate to avoid the cost and stress of a trial, but how can we help when they feel like it's not going well and they're running out of options? Today we’re going to give you and your client some proven strategies to try when they’re feeling hopeless in their mediation process.

We start with differentiating between making a wish and having hope. While we often say "I hope this or that happens", we mean we are wishing it will happen because hope involves taking action toward a goal, while a wish is out of your control. And that's the great news...high hope people understand that taking action and problem solving not only gets them closer to their desired outcome, but also increases hope.

We talk through 5 strategies you can use with clients when they feel frustrated, stalled or ready to give up in mediation and give you an example of a client who used these tools to make an informed, intentional decision in her mediation process.

If you'd like to learn more and specialize in supporting clients in mediation, please join our next session of Pre-Mediation Divorce Coach Training beginning Feb 5.


Learn more about DCA® or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

It happens. You begin coaching a client and ... uh oh ... it's just not working. If you've ever struggled with the decision to end a client relationship, then this episode is just for you.

Today Tracy and Debra talk through the nuts and bolts of what to do when you begin to notice something is off, action isn't being taken, the client isn't a good fit, payment isn't forthcoming or something else has gone sideways in your coaching relationship.

Relationship is the key word here. Coaching is a relationship between us and the client, so all the same boundary and conflict resolution skills we would bring to any other relationship should apply here. Chances are if you aren't feeling it, your client isn't either. So use your curious questioning skills to identify what is getting in the way and help your client determine how they want to move forward. Often this open and honest dialogue will either get the work back on track or help the client self-identify that coaching with you isn't right for them right now. This allows you to bless them and send them off with resources, referrals, and love.

You have two powerful tools that can help you - your consult call and your coaching agreement. The consult call has two express purposes. First for you to share the value of what you offer (sales), but also for you to learn enough about the client to determine if they are a good fit to work with (screening). Once you choose to engage, your coaching agreement outlines the mutual responsibilities (boundaries) that you both commit to uphold.

Don't let an ineffective coaching relationship linger and create friction or frustration for either of you. It's not a reflection of your coaching skills or expertise, it's just not a good fit. Support that client in discovering what they do need, point them in the right direction, and sit back in confidence knowing you did the right thing for both of you.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Money fears are pretty common in divorce. Clients may be afraid they don’t know enough about money, won’t get enough money or they’ll have to give up too much money. Or they might have concerns that their partner will be difficult and they’ll have to fight to get what’s “fair”. By the way, most of us call “fair” the 4-letter F word in divorce because each person’s definition of “fair” is different and it’s the source of so much disagreement.

In this week’s episode, we dive into the first few important steps when working with money fears. When we are able to dial down fear, we also make it possible for clients to be less reactive, more flexible, and more strategic - and that means less conflict and better decisions.

We find it so interesting that financial fears are one of the most common instigators of divorce conflict because money is widely known as one of the leading causes of divorce in America. We're taking people who likely couldn’t agree about money in their marriage and asking them to make big decisions about money during their breakup. It just doesn’t seem like a recipe for success.

We review working with clients to establish a post-divorce budget and running through possible marital property settlement proposals. The key to minimizing money fears is a combination of understanding the divorce process, financial literacy, and values based decision making. When clients are prepared to negotiate from an interest based perspective, they improve the chances that they’ll get a satisfying outcome.


Learn more about DCA® or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

When it comes to buying real estate, the saying is location, location, location. When it comes to negotiating a divorce settlement or parenting plan, we say strategy, strategy, strategy. And whether you’re negotiating at the kitchen table, participating in mediation, or working through attorneys, the same principles apply.

In Getting to YES: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, William Ury tells us that “standard strategies for negotiation often leave people dissatisfied, worn out, or alienated - and frequently all three”. That’s because most of us have only learned how to negotiate using a style called positional bargaining.

In positional bargaining, parties simply try to outwait, overpower, or out argue each other until someone finally gives enough. They may reach agreement, but it isn’t satisfying for either one of them. Principled negotiation, on the other hand, allows for mutual satisfying solutions and wise agreements.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra review the elements of principled negotiation and discuss the reasons working with a DCA certified divorce coach is the best way to become informed, develop skills and create a strategy so you can negotiate in a way that both aligns with your desired outcomes and minimizes conflict.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Mediation is becoming more and more popular as a means for couples to negotiate their divorce and co-parenting agreements. And many courts are now requiring mediation before hearing or trial dates can be set. But clients who aren’t properly prepared for mediation often make common mistakes that are obstacles to successful negotiation. Today we want to talk about a few of these mistakes and how you, as a divorce coach, can help set your client up for a better mediation experience.

Mistake #1: Not understanding the process or the role of the mediator
SOLUTION: Divorce coaches can help clients understand that the mediator is a neutral facilitator and their role is to provide a fair process, not a fair outcome. Clients don't need to "make their case" to the mediator or worry that the mediator will "like" their spouse better. We support our client to identify what kind of mediation process they want, participate in selection of the right mediator, and prepare for engaging effectively in the process.

Mistake #2: Letting emotions run the show
SOLUTION: We support our client in developing skills that allow them to respond strategically rather than react emotionally including tools to tolerate distress.  We work to help them focus on solutions and the future rather than problems and the past. And we do some reality testing around the idea of emotional justice.

Mistake #3: Being unprepared to negotiate
SOLUTION: Divorce coaches can help clients identify underlying interests (both their own and those of the other party) to avoid engaging in positional bargaining. We assist with flexible thinking and proposal development and well as strategic language and decision making.

If you'd like to learn more about helping clients be more prepared for mediation, join the waitlist for the next session of Pre-Mediation Divorce Coach training - a 6-week intensive to get you ready to support clients through the process.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Have you heard the saying, "A word can start a war, but a conversation can bring peace"? 

We adore this saying because it encapsulates a universal truth about the power of communication in both escalating and resolving conflicts. Communication is basically a double-edged sword; it can both spark conflict and yet serve as a means to resolve it. 

Understanding this duality is crucial in effectively managing and resolving conflicts.  So today, we are highlighting how communication can act as both a source of conflict as well as a vehicle for conflict resolution.

Misunderstandings, poor communication skills, assumptions, emotional triggers, and non-verbal cues can all ignite or exacerbate conflicts. Conversely, clear communication, active listening, constructive feedback, collaborative problem-solving, trust-building, and emotional regulation can effectively resolve conflicts. Understanding and navigating this duality is crucial for anyone seeking a more peaceful approach to any conflict they face.

We can help our clients develop more effective communications skills  utilizing techniques such as EAR statements, BIFF responses, and Yes/And... strategies. Check out these past episodes for more on these tools:

Fighting Words - 13 Tips to Keep Divorce Conflict From Going Off the Rails
Magic Words in Mediation - Negotiation Language That Works

In any conflict, we have a choice to use communication to ramp things up or cool them down. Choose wisely.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

You may have heard that DCA is going global. And today we're honored to introduce you to Anne-Marie Cade - the DCA™ Director of Learning and Development for Australia. 

She is an award-winning lawyer and mediator, a Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner, Certified Divorce Coach and Parenting Coordinator as well as a speaker, trainer and lecturer in law. She has a Masters in Family Dispute Resolution and Negotiation and was recently named Australian Mediator of the Year 2023 (Right?). She was also awarded a Churchill Fellowship recently and she traveled to 16 cities around the world  in 2022 researching “Best Practice in Parenting Coordination” with a view to informing the implementation of the practice of Parenting Coordination in Australia. 

We can't possibly list all her credentials, but trust us, she is a rock star when it comes to ADR processes in Australia and we couldn't be more excited to have her as part of the DCA leadership team. She is passionate about the work she does as Alternative Dispute Resolution professional with families, individuals, and corporate teams to help them reach peaceful resolution.

In her role at DCA, Anne-Marie leads the Q&A calls as well as oversees the professional mentorship for the DCA Australian divorce coaching certification program. We’re big fans and can't wait for you to hear more from her about her journey from lawyer to mediator to divorce coach and her passion for bringing DCA's certification to Australia.

Enjoy!

Our first cohort for DCA ADR Divorce Coach Certification Australia begins the week of July 24. If you'd like more information, schedule a meeting with Anne-Marie at www.divorcecoachesacademy.com or reach out to her at dca.au@divorcecoachesacademy.com.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Do you feel pressured to be all over social media? Are you spending hours designing posts, creating reels, and trying to gain followers? Do you love it or do you avoid it like the plague?

In today's episode, we talk about the phenomena of social media and how divorce coaches can make smart choices around their use of social media as a business strategy. The keyword here is strategy and we encourage coaches to be clear on the reason behind their use of social media. There are many reasons you might choose to have a social media presence including:

• Credibility
• Brand awareness
• Community engagement
• Lead generation
• Product sales

Once you're clear on the purpose (strategy) behind your social media, the next key is to track your metrics to be sure you're achieving your goals. Debra shares a favorite quote by Lori Taylor "Fans are vanity, but sales are sanity". If you have 10k followers, but aren't booking any clients, is that a successful strategy? Is it worth the time and effort you spend every week?

What if you hate social media? Then don't do it! There are many successful divorce coaches in the space who have no social media presence - they are finding their clients through grassroots marketing efforts. Check out the episode Making Your First $10k: Relationships and Referrals for more on this powerful strategy.

Social media can be one tool in your marketing arsenal, but as with all marketing strategies, your goal should be to use it with intention.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

You're a what? A divorce coach?

Divorce coaching is still a relatively new profession and today Tracy and Debra talk about what you can do on an individual level to help spread the word about the value we add for clients going through the divorce process.

It all starts with professionalism in your individual practice and insuring that each and every client has a great experience with you.  Next step is talking about what you do in your local community and don't underestimate the power of that elevator speech. Being able to accurately describe what you do in a couple of short, impactful sentences goes a long way with people you meet.

Then there are the State and National organizations like the ABA, APFM, AFCC, IDFA and others where divorce professionals gather. They offer conferences, continuing education, and presenting and writing opportunities. And finally, mentoring new divorce coaches is another way to invest in the future of the profession. 

1. Individual Practice Standards
2. Community Involvement
3. State Organization Connections
4. National Organization Membership
5. Continuing Professional Education
6. Mentoring

However, let's not overlook the importance of mindset when it comes to advocacy work. You must have the confidence to speak up, the belief that you deserve a seat at the table. When you are operating as a professional and are committed divorce coaching as a credible profession in the divorce space, then you'll be ready to start your own advocacy campaign.

We invite you to join us on the 1st and 3rd Tuesdays for our Case Consultation & Mastermind Group if you'd like to brainstorm ideas or get some encouragement.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Today Tracy and Debra are talking about all the internet clickbait content out there that is purposefully targeting people’s fears just to get follows or sell coaching, courses, or books.

We absolutely understand why this stuff is popular. It’s attention grabbing, it raises alarm bells, it creates a sense of urgency, and it makes clients worry that they’re not doing enough to protect themselves or their children.

But we know that this fear-based content skews perspective and sets up the possibility that consumers absorbing this information could be making their divorces more expensive and more conflicted than they need to be.

We'll cover the dangers of this type of marketing, why it works, and how to work with clients who may have taken the bait. 

And finally, we want to remind you that purposefully targeting your audience's vulnerability for your own gain falls outside our ethical guidelines. As professional, certified divorce coaches, we do not cause undue distress, manipulate emotions, or potentially cause psychological harm to sell our services. We commit to marketing practices that are effective and yet respectful of our audiences well-being.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

The irreplaceable human element of divorce coaching remains vital in an increasingly AI-driven world, with experienced coaches providing emotional intelligence and authentic connection that technology cannot replicate. We explore why artificial intelligence tools can supplement but never substitute the nuanced support, personalized guidance, and trauma-informed approaches that human coaches offer during life's most challenging transitions.

• AI tools can help with administrative tasks but cannot read subtle emotional cues or provide genuine human connection

• Experienced coaches draw from personal and professional knowledge to offer nuanced advice tailored to individual values and situations

• "Compassionate boundaries" balance validation with accountability when emotions cloud judgment

• Real-time adaptation allows coaches to pivot instantly when clients face unexpected developments

• Trauma-informed approaches help coaches recognize signs of abuse that AI might miss

• The coaching relationship itself models healthy communication and boundary-setting for future relationships

• Technology works best as a supplement rather than a replacement for human coaching

Join us on July 23rd when Anne Wintemute from AmieeSays will join us to explore AI-driven tools for those in unhealthy relationships.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

How often have you heard a client say “I’m miserable and I can’t imagine going on like this. I’ve tried and tried and nothing is changing. But … I’m afraid to get divorced.” They typically go on to share about all the problems in their marriage until they come to the big BUT that’s keeping them stuck.

And the 3 most common things that keep clients from moving forward are fears about:

• Money
• Kids
• Conflict

In this episode we're talking working with clients who're trying to decide if they want to stay in their marriage or get divorced. We dive into research about unresolvable relationships conflicts, the rise in marital mediation, explore the often forgotten 3rd option of "waiting with intention", and the powerful questions to ask clients when they're stuck on their big BUT's and fears.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra chat about why this question is right in our wheelhouse and review the tools and strategies you can use to bust through those big BUT's that are creating obstacles to your client's decision making.

While we can’t make the decision for them, we can certainly offer lots of clarity and self-discovery to support them in making the choice that leads to their own fulfillment and happiness whether that means staying or leaving.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We're tackling one of the most challenging and emotionally charged questions many of our clients face: How do you know when it's time to divorce?

No marriage is 100% happy all the time. Like any relationship, it’s filled with both good times and hardship. But for some, the challenges become chronic and overwhelming, leaving them wondering if ending the marriage is the right choice. Deciding to divorce is never easy and it’s rarely straightforward.  As actress Kate Hudson said, “The process of discovering with somebody that you love that you don’t work is so painful.”

In this week's episode, we'll explore the signs that indicate it might be time to part ways, the importance of weighing both emotional and practical factors, and the tools and strategies you and your clients can use to arrive at a decision that’s right for them.  And we’ll talk about the importance of preparing for the night you take dinner out of the oven - a favorite story that Debra likes to share.

When it comes to making this big decision, we often find that clients already know that ending the marriage is inevitable, they just have some fears that we called “The Big Buts” in episode #75. They worry about finances, their kids, and conflict. They don’t know where to start and they truly don’t understand the process, their options, and the amount of control they have over the cost, the amount of conflict, and the outcome.

That’s why we encourage you to partner with your client to develop an exit strategy. This means helping them gather the information they need and develop action plans to remove the fear and uncertainty around when and how to divorce. Fear is not only the obstacle that keeps individuals stuck in unhealthy, unhappy marriages unable to make decisions or take action, but it’s also the number 1 driver of cost and conflict in divorce.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

If you want to get more clients, you don't need to make more Instagram reels or write a ton of blog posts.  You need to clean up your language.

In this episode Tracy and Debra reveal the truth bomb that successful divorce coaches aren’t selling divorce coaching. They sell a goal plus a result.

The #1 mistake we see new coaches make is using “coachy” language in their marketing materials and in their consult calls. And "coachy" language just doesn’t resonate with potential clients or referral sources.

Your potential clients don’t want to hear about the coaching process or what you think they need - they want to hear how you’ll help them solve their problem and what it looks or feels like when they’ve reached that goal.

Listen in as we deconstruct a typical divorce coaching pitch and show you how to define results that will make any prospect want to invest in working with you.

If you'd like some help to clean up your marketing language, please consider joining our DCA Case Consultation Group where you can meet bi-monthly to share, connect, and get feedback on your business.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

If you’re working in the world of divorce, chances are that a number of your clients are going to be dealing with feelings of betrayal. In this episode we’re going to dig into how betrayal impacts emotions and decision making and discuss how you can work with clients struggling with the double whammy of betrayal and divorce.

Research presented to the Senate indicates that 56% of divorce cases involve one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites. According to the American Psychological Association, infidelity in the United States is said to be responsible for 20-40% of divorces. A Bankrate survey reports that 1 in 4 Americans keep financial secrets from their partner.

Betrayal Trauma occurs when the actions of another violate the trust on which a relationship was built and it can cause lasting changes in the areas of the brain responsible for regulating emotion, thought, and memory. 

Many symptoms arise immediately after a betrayal trauma, while other symptoms can begin months or even years later. In one survey, more than 33% of respondents reported having continued symptoms more than 5 years after the discovery of the betrayal.These symptoms can complicate the divorce process and the inherent conflict involved.

Listen in as we explore how different people respond to trauma and how they have different coaching needs. We also share how to identify if your client might need additional mental health support and offer some scripts you can use to gently introduce this idea.

Learn more about DCA® or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Do you want to make more money in your coaching business? Would you like a steadier, more reliable inflow of new clients? What if we told you that spending time and money on marketing is not the most effective way to make either of those happen? This week we want to dive into the importance of session focus and how it’s the critical, but often overlooked key to creating raving fans and referral business.

As a professional, certified divorce coach you save clients time, money, and emotional energy - and when they get those benefits they can’t wait to tell others about their experience with you. Just like you share when you find a great new restaurant, landscaper, or hairstylist, they want their friends, family, co-workers, and others to know how much you helped them.

And it all starts with Session Focus. When we neglect this first 5-8 minutes of a coaching session, we fail to set a course for delivering value. The conversation rambles, coaches get lost in the weeds, and the client walks away without clarity or action steps. And that means lost referrals and lost revenue.

So what does it look like to effectively establish session focus?

Listen in as Tracy and Debra walk you through using your GPS  for Success (Gather, Prioritize, Strategize) so you can nail that session focus every time.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

You had your own divorce experience and felt called to become a professional divorce coach to support others through the process so they could have what you needed. We applaud you for wanting to make divorce different for others. But in this week's episode, we are telling a cautionary tale  to remind everyone of the importance of coaching from our scar, and not from our wound.

When coaches aren't able to set aside their own personal divorce experience, it's much more likely they will hear the client through their personal filter and step out of neutrality. We begin to hear phrases like "you should" that indicate the coach is putting on their superhero cape and trying to save the client rather than asking the curious questions that allow the client to self-discover.

We're inviting you this week to reflect, to look closely in the mirror, and examine if there is anything clouding your vision. Do you find yourself having strong emotional reactions or getting triggered? Do you hear yourself making recommendations instead of asking questions? Are you feeling the urge to save your client from making a mistake that you made? Are you making assumptions about their spouse or their situation based on your experience?

If so, we encourage you to spend some time processing that and identifying where you might still need to do some healing. We also encourage you to join our Case Consultation & Mastermind Group - it's a safe space for you to get feedback to explore if your vision is clear or cloudy. 

Absolutely, use your divorce experience - it adds great value to your coaching practice. Just be sure your wound is healed so you don't bleed on your clients.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

This week, we're thrilled for you to meet Nikki Bould. Nikki is a highly skilled ADR specialist in New Zealand and she's joining the DCA leadership team to deliver culturally and legally specific curriculum to aspiring New Zealand divorce coaches.

Not only does New Zealand have it's own unique laws and processes when it comes to divorce, but because of the large indigenous population there are cultural impacts and considerations that Kiwi divorce coaches must be prepared to navigate.

Nikki shares that there are currently only about 15 certified divorce coaches in New Zealand and she firmly believes that increasing that number can help families avoid the stress of litigation.  While divorcing families with children are afforded 12 hours of family dispute resolution services (either free or partially funded), these often aren't utilized or aren't effective as they could be.

Increasing the number of divorce coaches with specific ADR skills would provide individual support and education that could be the key to increasing FDR success and decreasing court involvement.

DCA is thrilled to be working with Nikki to bring truly international divorce coaching to New Zealand.

The first New Zealand cohort begins the week of February 12, 2024. Apply now or schedule a 1-1 call with Nikki to learn more at divorcecoachesacademy.com.

Nau mai Nikki!


Where you can find Nikki:
Website: www.thehelpfulhuman.co.nz
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/nikki-bould-mediator-coach


Learn more about DCA® or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Financial worries are at the top of most everyone’s list when it comes to divorce and one common concern we hear from clients is how much it’s going to cost to get divorced. So in this episode we’re diving into not just how much divorce costs, but the factors that can influence it and how we can work with clients to keep their costs down.

IBISWorld reports that revenue for the Family Law and Divorce Attorney sector is expected to be $12.9 billion for 2023. Whoa! That is a load of money that’s moving from our clients’ bank accounts to pay for the services of divorce professionals. Now we’re not saying that attorneys aren’t worth what they charge - competent legal advice is priceless.

But we are saying that individuals and couples have a lot more influence over the cost of their divorce than they realize. And as most things in divorce and co-parenting, it comes down to how they manage conflict and their decision making.

Listen in as we unpack all the costs that go into divorce, talk about how considering a divorce budget can help clients make strategic decisions, discuss the factors that influence whether our client has a Kia divorce or a Lamborghini divorce, and offer some tools and strategies for staying within their budget goals.

Join Us Now: Save Your Sanity Divorce Summit

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

It’s just about time for everyone to start thinking about New Year’s resolutions and that usually means setting goals to get healthier and manage our money better. Almost every divorce coach we know would like to generate more revenue, so in this episode we share 5 simple strategies you can implement to earn more in your coaching business next year.

Research cited by The Ohio State University Fisher College of Business suggests that only 9% of Americans that make resolutions complete them. That tells us that simply setting an intention doesn’t seem to create the follow through necessary to accomplish the goal. The same goes for making more money in your coaching practice. Recall that ICF (International Coaching Federation) survey that reported 80% of coaching businesses fail? These dismal statistics can make it feel like an impossible mission to achieve financial success as divorce coaching professionals. 

But there are many divorce coaches that are hitting their revenue goals and that is precisely why you must pay attention to the business side of your coaching practice. If you want to make more in 2024, you need to set your sights on 2 basic things - getting more clients and gaining more confidence.

Because More Clients + More Confidence = More Revenue

So listen in as we talk through the 5 things you can focus on that we believe will have the most impact on growing your client base and your confidence next year. Being excellent at coaching isn't enough - you must also be intentional about the way you approach your business. 

Learn more about DCA® or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We're excited for you to meet Nada Hariri, the DCA Director of Learning and Development for the Arabian Gulf. Nada is the first certified divorce coach in the region and has worked with hundreds of Arab clients all over the gulf area. She is an experienced coach, group facilitator, workshop leader, author and is currently pursuing her Master's in family counseling.

Nada is a revolutionary. She is lifting the taboo of talking about divorce and is seeing a both great need and a great desire for divorce support services for families in her part of the world. She is committed to training and certifying divorce coaches who speak the unique cultural and religious language of the divorce process in Arab countries.

Even though divorce is allowed, people in the Arabian Gulf must navigate both the legal and religious aspects because the divorce process itself is based on Sharia Law. Muslim communities continue to redefine how to practice Islam in the modern world even as they remain faithful to its general precepts as a guide to correct living and religious practice.

Nada hopes to expand culturally relevant support to help Arabic families make their way through the process in a manner that honors both the modern family and traditional values. She believes that certified ADR divorce coaches are the key to help increase understanding, reduce conflict, and manage the practical and emotional facets of divorce in the gulf area.

The first cohort of DCA Certified ADR Divorce Coach training specifically for the Arabian Gulf begins the week of April 14. Visit the DCA website and schedule a one-on-one meeting with Nada to learn more about this revolutionary program.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Couples facing challenges or difficulties in their marriage have traditionally turned to couples counseling or marriage therapy for help. And we often hear from clients who are now deciding whether to stay or go that they found the experience of couples counseling to be quite frustrating with lots of blame and finger pointing and little to no resolution of the issues at hand. But what if married couples had another choice? 

Enter Marital Mediation. 

While both couples counseling and marital mediation share the overarching goal of promoting healthier, more harmonious relationships, they differ significantly in their approaches, methodologies, and intended outcomes.

Couples counseling focuses on exploring and understanding relational dynamics, emotions, and patterns of interaction. Therapists in couples counseling often adopt a more directive or interventionist stance, offering guidance, feedback, and psycho-education to promote positive change.

Marital mediation, by contrast, emphasizes practical problem-solving and negotiation skills. Mediators in marital mediation maintain a neutral stance, refraining from offering advice or solutions. Instead, they facilitate dialogue, negotiation, and problem-solving, empowering couples to generate their own solutions and agreements.

As ADR modalities and processes are becoming more commonly used by families in conflict, we are seeing an expansion of the practice of marital mediation or couples mediation. By offering couples a future focused, problem solving approach, we hope to be able to create agreements that allow the couple to navigate conflict and remain in relationship.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We're pleased to welcome back Anne-Marie Cade, our DCA Director of Learning and Development for Australia. And she's here with some very exciting news.

Anne-Marie along with fellow DCA certified divorce coaches Amy Voller, Tahli Fitzpatrick and Marg Doherty have launched the Divorce Coaches Institute Australia (DCIA).

Alongside their international colleagues, they identified a critical need to establish a secure and ethically driven service for Australians undergoing separation or divorce. 

Recognizing the absence of regulations in the coaching industry, they were increasingly concerned about the lack of ethical standards and professional oversight and the absence of support for clients in the event of an unsuccessful coaching relationship.

All coaches admitted to DCIA are vetted and have been certified through select reputable and approved international training providers. Their coaches adhere to professional standards and follow a code of ethics, which ensures the well-being of clients and maintains the integrity of our profession.

Listen in to learn how Anne-Marie and her colleagues are raising the bar on professional standards in Australia.

Learn more about DCIA and find a coach:

Divorce Coaches Institute Australia website

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Being a solopreneur as a divorce coach is hard. but we don't want you to feel like you have to do it alone. In this week's episode, Tracy and Debra talk about why they believe every coach should have a community.

According to an ICF (International Coaching Federation) study, 4 out of 5 coaches fail. We find that shocking and are committed to doing everything we can to insure that those statistics do not apply to divorce coaches. That's why we established the Case Consultation & Mastermind Group and frankly, we don't understand why more coaches aren't taking advantage of it.

Therapists are required to have some sort of clinical supervision on an ongoing basis to insure 1) standards of practice are being met and 2) self-care and professional growth are being prioritized. Why should the "helping profession" of coaching be any different?

Divorce coaches are entrusted with helping clients make some of the most important decisions of their lives and the work we do often involves a ton of heavy stuff.  Who is supporting you when you feel overwhelmed by the weight of it? Where is the community you can go to for refreshment, new ideas, encouragement?  Who helps when you aren't getting the financial results or client success you hoped for?

We urge you to consider joining us. We don't want you to burn out or give up. We want to offer the professional, supportive environment you need to keep going and keep advancing. You really don't have to do this alone - we have a village just waiting for you.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

When clients tell us that their goal is an amicable divorce, we wonder what their expectations are when they say that. What are they really anticipating their divorce experience will be like? So that’s the topic of today’s conversation. What does it mean to have an amicable divorce and if it’s not amicable, then what is it?

 In 2014, Goop ( Gwyneth Paltrow’s wellness and lifestyle brand) published an article titled “Conscious Uncoupling” and that started a new wave of thinking about how couples could do this thing called divorce. But it's also gotten a bit twisted over the years and many people have gotten the idea that an "amicable" divorce means being BFF's with your ex, having family dinners, and vacationing together.

Somehow we've created this binary where a divorce is either amicable (meaning we get along all the time) or it's high conflict. But there's always conflict in divorce. So how can we work with clients to manage expectations when it comes to divorce conflict open them up to some new ways of thinking about what it means to be amicable?

We'll review some powerful questions as well as some tools and strategies you can use with clients to explore:

1.  The possibility that there is a wide space between being BFF’s and being enemies
2. The possibility that our client can show up amicably regardless of how their partner shows up

We believe an amicable divorce truly is possible for the majority of couples if we focus on those words pleasant, respectful and polite. And one key is working with your client to get past some of these limiting beliefs that the existence of conflict means that it’s not amicable. 

Learn more about DCA™ or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We're launching customized curriculum for Canada next month! And we're excited for you to get to know our Canadian Director, Dori Braddell. 

Dori is a highly successful divorce coach who specializes in conflicted and complicated divorce and co-parenting situations. She originally received her certification through the CDC and has continued to pursue continuing education with DCA as a Certified ADR Divorce Coach, Divorce Conflict Coach, and Conflicted Co-Parenting Divorce Coach.

Listen in as Tracy and Dori talk about the rise of divorce coaching in Canada and why it's important for Canadian coaches to get certified in a program that is tailored to the laws, customs, processes, and resources of their home country.

The first Canadian cohort will begin the week of October 13 and applications are now being accepted.

Go to divorcecoachesacademy.com/divorcecoach and schedule a call with Dori today to learn more about DCA's Canada specific training program.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We consistently say that all divorce involves conflict. Even in the most amicable divorce, couples aren’t likely to agree on everything. But one area that seems to spur the most conflict is co-parenting. We recently read that 80% of the court’s time is taken up by custody matters which tells us that co-parenting and making decisions about children is a hot button topic.

So today we're exploring one aspect that contributes heavily to co-parenting conflict and that’s when people have difficulty transitioning from stakeholders in each other’s lives to business partners. Moving from being a couple to being co-parents is a shift that can take time and requires both parents to focus on what’s best for their children instead of what’s important to them. 

We get into common triggers and obstacles, talk a bit about gatekeeping and alienation, and walk you through a real life client scenario.

If you're a certified divorce coach and want to learn more about supporting co-parents who are having difficulty, we'll be starting a 6-week co-parenting intensive beginning the week of November 4.

Learn more about becoming a DCA® Conflicted Co-Parenting Divorce Coach

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Good storytelling is a powerful tool for creating connection, building trust, and communicating ideas and concepts. However, when it comes to divorce coaching, storytelling can be a mixed bag. And a common mistake we see coaches make is oversharing about their own personal experiences.

In this episode, we discuss when and how it is appropriate to share personal stories with clients. While it’s well-intentioned, it’s also important to be mindful about when and how we share personal stories with clients.

Our words of caution...there are two ways storytelling can muddy the waters when it comes to our coaching relationships. First, sharing too much from our personal lives can take the focus off the client and put the spotlight back on the coach. And second, clients look to us as the expert so those stories might be interpreted as directive or advice giving. 

Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk about why intention matters when it comes to storytelling in divorce coaching.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

When it comes to divorce, co-parenting and conflict, understanding the “why” behind someone's ugly behavior doesn’t provide the tools or strategies clients need to navigate dealing with these individuals. Instead, it can create mindsets that keep them stuck or even complicate the process.

They get caught in the trap of spending more time and energy trying to figure out why their partner behaves the way they do and not enough time and energy focused on how they can insulate themselves and find some peace.

Shifting roles from being someone’s spouse to being their ex is a complicated journey for most of us. Not only are our clients legally divorcing their spouse, but they also must go through the process of emotionally divorcing their spouse and that’s where some of this over-analysis originates.

In January, we held a networking event to discuss Jessica Garza’s TED Talk about emotional contagion and she introduced a strategy she calls “Ok. So What? Now What?” Listen in as we apply these 3 steps to helping clients get out of the rabbit hole of narcissism and shift the focus to peace, safety and decision making.

If you need support to navigate divorce or co-parenting with a difficult character, check out our new DCA online support groups. For just $75/month, you can meet weekly with a professional, certified divorce coach.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We're reaching to our back catalog to share one of the most popular episodes as Tracy and Debra take a quick summer break. We'll be back next week with brand new content!

When people find out what we do, it's not unusual to hear “UGH, I wish I’d known you when I went through my divorce. I made so many mistakes.” In this episode, we’re reviewing the five common mistakes people make and talk about how a divorce coach helps clients sidestep those mistakes and save time, money, relational damage and emotional energy.

Right now the average divorce with attorneys in the US will cost each party somewhere in the neighborhood of $15-20,000 and can easily exceed 6 figures when you add in custody battles, forensic accounting, discovery, depositions, motions, and all the other professionals and processes. Certainly legal fees can add up quickly when conflict escalates, but there are many other costs that clients pay when divorce mistakes are made.

When clients are stressed and overwhelmed and/or driven by emotions like anger, sadness, vengeance, jealousy, or indecision, their lives are impacted on every level. While those costs are much harder to quantify, they aren’t hard to observe. And when people are experiencing these costs of divorce, they may act and make decisions that don’t reflect their best selves or their best interests.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra dive into the 5 most expensive divorce mistakes and talk through the coaching tools you can use with each.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

When we talk with prospective students and new students, we get a lot of questions about what’s it’s really like to start a career as a professional divorce coach. So today, Christina Stone is going to give us all a behind the scenes look at what that journey is really like.

Christina is a Certified ADR Divorce coach and if that name sounds familiar, it’s because she also happens to be our Operations Coordinator here at DCA so you may have been in communication with her at some point.

Today Christina and Debra are sharing some truth and busting some myths about starting a career as a divorce coach. It is truly a viable career, but as Christina will tell you...it takes persistence, patience and a plan.

While there are exceptions, the majority of new divorce coaches do not make $60 or $70k their first year out and anyone who tells you something different has an agenda. But you can get there by staying focused on your goals, being part of a divorce coaching community, and continuing to learn and hone your skills.

We hope you enjoy getting to know Christina and we are thrilled to have her as part of the DCA community and team.

You can find Christina at:

Email: cnfewcoaching@gmail.com
Website: cnfewcoaching.net
Instagram: c.n.fewcoaching

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Have you seen this viral question going around the internet where people are asking women if they would rather be stuck in the woods with a bear or a man? It was intended to spark discussion about violence against women and the responses have been both overwhelming and insightful. 

This whole conversation has made us wonder how people would answer if we ask them if they would rather mediate with a bear or a narcissist?

Today we're tackling the fear so many individuals have about trying to mediate with a high conflict or difficult partner. We consistently see people choose to pay an attorney tens of thousands of dollars to litigate rather than attempt mediation and negotiate directly with their spouse. Having an attorney to represent them might feel like they’re more protected, but are they?

We discuss:

• How HCP complicate the mediation process
• Common fears we hear
• Reasons mediation might be a BETTER choice
• Tips for negotiating and keeping your cool

As always, our goal is to make sure our clients are making decisions from a place of information and strategy, not fear no matter which option they choose.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Co-parent communication can be one of the biggest challenges both during and after divorce. Co-parenting apps are a lifesaver for many partners who have difficulty in communicating about or making decisions regarding their children.

This week we had the pleasure of hosting Stephen Nixon, the Founder of TalkingParents, on the podcast to talk about the reasons you might want to introduce a co-parenting app to your clients or your co-parent.

Co-parenting apps like TalkingParents can significantly reduce conflict, streamline communication, save money, and protect your peace. And if you're in a particularly conflicted co-parenting relationship, simply using a tool like TalkingParents can increase accountability and have a positive impact on your partner's communication.

Listen in to learn more about why introducing a co-parenting app to your clients or your partner might be the best decision you make.

And don't forget to register for the upcoming FREE Save Your Sanity Divorce Summit presented by DCA. We've gathered more than 25 professional divorce coaches to help you protect your mental health,  your bank account or and your future.

Sign up now: Save Your Sanity Divorce Summit

Want to find out more about TalkingParents:
Website: www.talkingparents.com
Professional Website: www.legal.talkingparents.com
Facebook: talkingparents
Instagram: talkingparentsapp
YouTube: TalkingParentsApp

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

One of the most common complaints we hear from divorce coaches is that they aren’t getting as many clients as they had hoped and that means they aren’t hitting their revenue goals. If that’s a struggle you’re facing, then this episode is for you. We’re giving you the 411 on crafting your elevator pitch so you can be prepared to talk about what you do in a way that makes people excited to know more.

The key to getting referrals and consult calls is effectively describing what you do and the value you provide. An elevator pitch is simply a very short, targeted way to describe what you do as a divorce coach. Think of a situation recently where you met someone new and they asked you what you do. How did you answer that question?

To craft an effective elevator pitch, focus on a specific problem or pain point that your potential client or referral partner has. Next, consider how working with you helps them solve that problem. Now boil all that down until you can create a 15-30 second statement that sounds like this:

I help…people with this problem
Get…these results
So they can…have this outcome

This seems simple, but it’s not easy. But trust us. If you do this right, the person on the other end will ask more questions. This won’t be the end of your conversation. Your elevator pitch is only the appetizer. But it has to pack enough punch to make the other person go “Wait, what? I want more.”

Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk through the elements of an effective elevator pitch and give some examples to get your creative juices going.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

This week, we’re taking the Stay or Go episode from a couple of week ago to the next step and we're talking about partnering with your client to develop an exit strategy. This means helping them gather the information they need and develop action plans to remove the fear and uncertainty around when and how to divorce. 

Fear is not only the obstacle that keeps individuals stuck in unhealthy, unhappy marriages unable to make decisions or take action, but it’s also the  #1 driver of cost and conflict in divorce.

Debra shares the results of an informal survey she did that showed that only 20% of respondents believed they had some or significant control over either the cost or the outcome of their divorce. We know clients have much more influence - they just need information and a strategy.

Failing to prepare thoughtfully when considering divorce can start things off in a way that quickly snowballs out of control. On the other hand, taking time, being strategic and establishing goals and priorities can pave the way for a good divorce if things go well. And it can protect clients in the event that things go poorly.

We'll review the 5 reasons an Exit Strategy (or divorce plan) is so incredibly helpful for clients and talk through some of the important elements of a solid plan. When we help clients identify and address their fears, our clients get a better outcome financially, relationally and emotionally.


Learn more about DCA™ or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We break down escalation loops in co‑parenting, why they entrench, and how divorce coaches can interrupt them with practical, evidence‑informed tools. We share the pause protocol, BIF writing, nervous‑system resets, and real‑time awareness checks that end reactive volleys and protect the long game.

• definition of escalation loops and why they persist in divorce
• reactive communication and negative reciprocity mechanics
• amygdala hijack and dysregulation as baseline conditions
• pattern entrenchment and confirmation bias reinforcing the story
• the pause protocol as an active strategy
• choosing structured channels and using BIF for concise replies
• loop awareness questions to stop mid‑exchange
• regulate first, respond second using body‑based tools
• reframing the real goal from winning arguments to stable co‑parenting
• the coach’s role as steady, strategic partner

If today’s episode was useful to you, please share it with a colleague, leave a review wherever you listen to your podcast, or come find me at the DCA community. And if you would like to learn more about the training we provide to support the professional practice of divorce coaches, please check us out at divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

When love gets loud, decision-making gets messy. We sit down with family law attorney, mediator, and certified ADR divorce coach Lauren Fair to unpack why support from family and friends often feels good in the moment but can quietly anchor clients in rigid positions. From “my cousin got the house” jurisdiction myths to the rallying effect of loyal allies, we trace how emotional justice can overshadow long-term interests and derail reasonable agreements.

Together we map a different path: neutrality, structure, and reality testing. Lauren shares how she helps clients separate feelings from facts, weigh costs against outcomes, and align choices with core values like stability for kids, financial sustainability, and healthier communication. We talk through funding dynamics—when a parent pays for services and expects a say—and how to reset power imbalances without blowing up negotiations. You’ll hear practical tools you can use immediately: boundary scripts that honor love while declining directives, somatic cues to sense whether a choice is grounded, and a simple framework for designing a support circle on purpose.

For clients, treat advice as data and keep your hands on the wheel. For family and friends, the most loving move is to listen more and fix less. And for coaches, expect outside opinions to surface weekly and have a clear protocol ready to normalize the noise, test realities, and protect client agency. Love and protection matter, but clarity and resolution move families forward.

If this conversation sparked insight, subscribe, share it with a colleague, and leave a review. Your support helps more professionals and families move from chaos to clarity.

To reach Lauren and learn more about her practice, visit https://www.sensiblesplitdivorce.com/legal-team/lauren-m-fair/  or reach her by email at lauren@sensiblesplitdivorce.com 

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

The hardest part of co-parenting isn’t agreeing when things are calm—it’s knowing exactly what to do when life changes. We unpack how to design a parenting plan that functions like a family operating system: practical, plain-language, and built to reduce conflict before it starts. With DCA ADR Certified Divorce Coach Dori Braddell joining Tracy, we dig into the decisions that matter most—daily schedules, holidays, make-up time, communication, medical and education choices—and show how to write terms that hold up under stress.

We talk strategy first. Rather than rely on boilerplate, we coach clients to identify intentions, predict “sticky bits,” and reality test assumptions about the other parent. You’ll hear how to draft three-tier proposals that show flexibility without giving away your core interests, how to keep Amy the amygdala buckled in during tough talks, and how to pick the right process for your situation: kitchen table conversation, mediation, collaborative practice, or a structured four-way. We share simple scripts and boundary tools that make saying no, countering, and pausing the conversation feel safe and effective.

Then we get practical. Dori’s parenting plan builder gives clients sample clauses they can mark up and tailor. Visual schedule tools like Custody X Change help families compare 2-2-3, 2-2-5-5, and week-on/week-off rotations at a glance. We outline expense categories beyond basic child support—drivers ed, braces, mental health, extracurriculars, graduations, even grooming—plus thresholds for joint approval to prevent petty fights. Finally, we emphasize review paths and built-in dispute resolution ladders so parents can adapt as kids grow without running to court.

If you’re a divorce coach, mediator, or parent navigating separation, this deep dive will help you create a plan that is clear, fair, and truly usable. Subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a review telling us the one clause you wish every parenting plan included.

To contact Dori, visit her personal practice website at https://www.thedivorcementor.ca/about-me  or reach her at her DCA email at dca.ca@divorceocahesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

What if the missing piece in most divorce processes isn’t another document or courtroom strategy, but a steadier, more prepared client? Tracy goes deep on the questions coaches ask most—how to define our role, hold firm boundaries, and position divorce coaching as an essential part of modern alternative dispute resolution.

We start by drawing a bright line between coaching, therapy, and legal work, then show how that clarity protects clients and strengthens outcomes. From there, Tracy shares practical scripts for redirecting legal and clinical requests without losing rapport, and explains how referrals build trust with attorneys and therapists. You’ll hear why coaching functions as the first tier of ADR—stabilizing emotions, clarifying goals, and training low-reactivity communication so mediation and collaboration actually work.

For new coaches, Tracy maps a grassroots growth plan: speak to real pain points, offer community workshops, collaborate with mediators and attorneys, and use authentic content that sounds human, not salesy. 

We also tackle high-conflict dynamics, teaching tools for nervous system regulation, boundary clarity, documentation with intention, and reframing interactions as moments of leadership rather than battles. 

Finally, we look ahead: growing standards, stronger certification norms, deeper integration on divorce teams, and technology that increases access while preserving the craft of conflict coaching.

If you care about elevating this profession—with integrity, clarity, and measurable impact—this conversation is your playbook. Listen, share with your ADR partners, and help us build a future where divorce coaching is recognized as the bridge from reactivity to readiness. 

Enjoyed the episode? Please follow, rate, and leave a review, and send any questions you have to DCA@DivorceCoachesAcademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Ten mentoring rounds don’t happen by accident—they happen because mentorship works. We sit down with mentor and certified ADR divorce coach, family mediator, and co‑parenting specialist Carolyn Jacobs to unpack how structured labs turn theory into confident practice, why the “week five slump” is a turning point, and what shifts when coaches stop chasing answers and start asking sincere, judgment‑free questions. If you’ve ever felt stuck between frameworks and real clients, this conversation offers a practical roadmap and a dose of relief.

We explore the laboratory of mentorship—observe, practice, reflect—where risk is safe, feedback is specific, and humor keeps the room open. Carolyn shares the dance from counting steps to feeling the music, and we expand on a useful analogy: the curriculum is the map; clients are the weather; mentorship is the simulator where you test your gear before the storm. That framing helps new coaches spot activation, set boundaries, stay neutral to outcomes, and build a container strong enough to hold conflict, grief, and big emotions without losing presence or ethics.

Then we move to the next, often-missed step: case consultation. Mentorship builds skill and confidence; consultation nourishes and sustains them over time. We lay out why peer consults prevent blind spots—especially for seasoned coaches who have seen “this kind of case” before—and how listening to newer voices keeps perspective fresh. Carolyn explains how consultation becomes an on‑going quality assurance system for ethical decisions, complex dynamics, and professional growth. We close with what mentoring teaches the mentor: accountability, sharper standards, and a deeper sense of community impact.

If you’re ready to grow—from first sessions to lifelong practice—consider joining a DCA case consultation group or exploring our certification and advanced programs. Subscribe, share this episode with a colleague who could use a lift, and leave a review to tell us your biggest coaching breakthrough.

Connect with Carolyn Jacobs at Ally in Divorce: https://www.allyindivorce.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

What happens when a country makes mediation free for every separating family—but removes the preparation that makes it work? We dig into New Zealand’s bold FDR shift with Mediator and Divorce Coach Nikki Bould, unpacking the real-world impact of funding cuts, waitlists, and the shortage of child inclusion specialists. From the outside, “free” looks like progress; inside the system, parents are queued up, dysregulated, and often walking into high-stakes conversations without the skills or context to succeed.

We walk through the practical trade-offs: why even a short prep window can change outcomes, what child-inclusive practice adds to parent decision-making, and how coaching complements therapy by building forward-focused skills when emotions run hot. Nikki shares on-the-ground insights from mediators and family lawyers, highlighting where families stall, why some head straight to court after a failed mediation, and how a coaching-led approach can reduce escalation and make every professional’s job easier. We also explore a Kiwi-specific vision for parenting coordination—interdisciplinary, culturally aligned, and designed to keep agreements durable and kids at the center.

If you care about child well-being, equitable access to justice, and practical tools that actually move families forward, this conversation offers clear next steps. Learn how early coaching can stabilize parents, how to translate a child’s voice into better plans, and what advocates can do to build bridges across law, mediation, and mental health. Subscribe, share with a colleague who supports separating families, and leave a review to help more people find these tools.

To contact Nikki Bould:
dca.nz@divorcecoachesacademy.com or
nikki@thehelpfulhuman.nz
ADSI.org.nz

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

In this episode, we're diving into a topic that shows up with almost every client at some point: that sticky, frustrating, and sometimes paralyzing feeling that this just isn’t fair.

Whether it’s the division of assets, custody arrangements, or just the emotional fallout, so many clients come into the process believing they’ve been wronged—and they often have been! But here's the challenge: when someone is stuck in a story of injustice, it can completely block their ability to make empowered decisions. And that’s where we come in.

Today, we're going to unpack where that feeling comes from, what it does to your client's mindset, and offer these six coaching strategies you can use to help them move from frozen to forward.

1. Normalize the feeling
2. Shift from fairness to empowerment
3. Reframe the narrative
4. Use future-focused visualization
5. Introduce functional fairness
6. Anchor in core values

Remember...You’re not just helping your clients “get through” this. You’re helping them build resilience, clarity, and agency in one of the hardest seasons of their lives.

And that’s powerful work.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Joining us today is Anne Wintemute, CEO of Aimee Says, an AI driven platform that empowers survivors of relationship abuse to recognize, respond, and recover.

Anne is a dedicated and visionary leader, currently serving as the Co-Founder and CEO of Aimee Says. She is also the founder of A Garden Grows, a consultancy offering vital support services to women experiencing post-separation abuse. Anne is passionate about transforming the discourse around intimate partner violence and advocating for a narrative that holds perpetrators accountable.

Aimee Says is a free tool to help clients recognize coercive control and abuse, manage communication, strategize and achieve better outcomes for themselves and their children.

Listen in as Anne share all the ways Aimee can support both your coaching relationship and your client with confidential compassion and guidance. From identifying red flags to crafting responses to preparing for court, Aimee Says is the BFF survivors need to have in their back pocket. Aimee Says also encourages a collaborative team approach where clients can share their account with professionals who are supporting them.

And for those of you in our DCA Coach Community, Anne will be joining us for a free Lunch & Learn on 7/23 at 12pm ET. Please mark your calendar to join us so you can see a demo of Aimee Says and ask all your questions.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Conflict is a topic that impacts every one of us at some point in our lives. A couple of weeks ago we talked about an important tip to reduce conflict in divorce and that was to stop expecting something different and accept that your partner will continue to show up with the same core personality traits they’ve always had.  As we were coming to the end of that conversation, Tracy really wanted to talk about the 3 primary sources of conflict. So as promised, today we’re diving into that. 

One of the early theorists on conflict, American psychologist Daniel Katz, distinguished three main sources of conflict: 

• Economic
• Values
• Power

As you can imagine, all three are major contributing factors in divorce conflict. Understanding these sources helps us identify the root causes of a disagreement and approach it strategically. And strategy is key when it comes to divorce and co-parenting conflict if you want to spare your bank account and save your sanity.

We explore these three primary sources of conflict and offer some strategies for how you can approach each one to resolve disputes more successfully. Whether you’re facing a tough divorce, a workplace disagreement, or even family tensions, understanding these sources of conflict and the role of emotions can be a game-changer. 

Conflict is a natural part of life, divorce and co-parenting, but with the right tools and mindset, it doesn’t have to be destructive. 

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

In this episode we explore the "Big Five" - those core personality traits that tend to be consistent over time and circumstance. PLUS, we share a secret mantra that just may help you and your clients experience less stress when dealing with the difficult people in their lives.

We consistently hear clients express disappointment, frustration, and even rage when their spouse, ex or co-parent doesn’t act or behave in the way they think they should. 

And we get it. It’s incredibly distressing to have to be on the receiving end of someone else’s less than stellar behavior. But we have to ask…is this really surprising? While people’s personality traits may get exaggerated during the divorce process, they typically aren’t radically different than the way that spouse behaved during the marriage. 

And clients continue to suffer when they continue to expect their partner or co-parent to radically transform during divorce.

Understanding these 5 personality traits can help anyone going through divorce or co-parenting conflict stay grounded in the reality of who their partner is. And that gives them the freedom and agency to decide how to respond.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

In this episode, Tracy and our DCA Director for Australia, Anne-Marie Cade, are diving into an essential yet often overlooked topic: self-care during challenging times. As divorce professionals dealing with heavy emotional topics, it’s crucial that we care for ourselves so we can continue to care for others.

As we kick off a new year, we think that there is no better time to reflect on how we can prioritize our well-being. A fresh start brings an opportunity to set intentions and build habits that support us throughout the year. 

We must acknowledge the unique challenges of working in the divorce space. Divorce professionals—whether you’re a coach, lawyer, therapist, or mediator—are often walking alongside clients through some of the most emotionally intense moments of their lives. While rewarding, this work can also be draining, especially if we don’t set aside time to replenish our own energy. 

Listen in as they explore the 3 pillars of self-care for divorce professionals:

1. Awareness
2. Boundaries
3. Restoration 

We'd love to hear from you...what self-care practices help keep you renewed and refreshed for this heavy work?

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We’re taking a detour from our planned topic today because we think it's time critical to talk about the implications of eliminating no-fault divorce. Based on this week's election results, as divorce professionals we need to be thinking about, discussing, and preparing for another potential shift in the landscape of divorce.

No-fault divorce has been around for decades, but there's been a growing push in some places to repeal it. But what would happen if we eliminated no-fault divorce? How would it change the dynamics of marriages, families, and even the legal system? Well, that's what we're exploring today.

Tracy and Debra talk through the potential implications of reinstating fault divorce including the impact on conflict, cost, our court systems and children.

The debate is complex, and there are no easy answers. But it’s important to keep discussing it and to think critically about the consequences—for the individuals and families involved, for you as a divorce professional, and for society as a whole.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

One thing that seems to be certain in divorce is that no one gets everything they want. Most walk away feeling like they had to give up more than their share in order to get to a final agreement.  Rarely do we hear a client say they thought the settlement was 100% fair and equitable. Most everyone feels like they got the short end of the stick.

So in this episode we dive into this idea of “fairness” and talk about how it can cause problems or create obstacles when it comes to getting to a final resolution. And we offer some coaching strategies for working with clients who get stuck in their own definition of "fairness".

Many clients start out saying “I just want what’s fair”. The trouble is that rarely will their spouse have the same definition of fair. We joke that “fair” is the 4-letter F word in divorce because what you think is fair, what I think is fair, and what the legal system thinks is fair can be wildly different. 

Listen in as Tracy and Debra discuss the concept of fairness and justice and how expanding our definition of what's "fair" may be the key to finally reaching an agreement everyone can feel OK about.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

When it comes to attorney-client relationships, we hear a lot of complaints. We understand there are a few bad apples out there, but most attorneys we know are really trying to do the best job they can. So what’s gone wrong? Why are clients not satisfied with the service their attorney is providing and what can they (and we as their divorce coaches) do about it?

We believe that clients frequently make this decision without an understanding of the role that their attorney will play and without conducting a thorough interview process. And then they feel stuck in a contractual relationship with a professional that isn’t meeting their expectations.

In this week's conversation, Tracy and Debra unpack some common complaints, discuss 5 red flags, and offer solutions when our client isn't feeling good about their attorney.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

It’s Thanksgiving and we’re so thankful for all of you who take the time to listen each week. We thought it might be a great opportunity for you to get to know us a little better and get a sneak peek behind the scenes at the DCA podcast.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk (and laugh) about:

• how they record the podcast each week
• why they started the podcast
• what brought them to the profession of divorce coaching
• their proudest achievements
• their personal obsessions
• the first time they met in person
• who they'd love to collaborate with and why
• their dream podcast guest

We had a ton of fun recording this and hope you enjoy this more personal view into the people behind the microphones.

Have an idea for a future topic or episode? We'd love to hear from you.


Learn more about DCA™ or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

In this episode, we’re talking about working with those clients whose resistance to change is creating obstacles to negotiation and could potentially be escalating conflict. And resistance to the inevitable changes that divorce brings can cause everything from avoidant behaviors to decision making that’s downright destructive.

As divorce coaches, helping clients examine and dismantle that resistance can go a long way toward creating a more collaborative divorce and co-parenting environment.

We talk about how people typically cope with and react to change, what resistance really is, common resistance patterns, and how it shows up in divorce and co-parenting.  Then we review the #1 tool you can use to help clients bust through the resistance that's keeping them stuck.

When we help clients gain clarity about the reasons behind their own resistance to change, we open up possibilities for growth.


Learn more about DCA™ or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Most divorces are not legally complicated, but there are two things in many divorce documents that complicate the process for clients and increase conflict … and that’s language. Language that’s difficult to understand or language that’s too vague to provide post-decree guidance. This week we're talking about how to help clients ditch the legalese and loose language in an effort to reduce conflict.

Have you ever seen a divorce settlement agreement that’s so full of latin words, statute reference numbers, long sentences, and outdated old english that you feel like you need a law degree to understand what it says? Yep, that’s legalese. And while lawyers seem to love it, the rest of us find it confusing, intimidating, and impossible to comprehend.

And then there's language that's so vague and open ended that it leaves the door open for future conflict. When details about who, when, where and how are omitted, we can run into post-decree compliance arguments. If the agreement simply says that parents have joint legal decision making, what happens if they can't come to agreement? There is so much opportunity to discuss options now that can prevent conflict later.

As divorce coaches, we can help clients feel confident their agreements aren’t filled with confusing legalese they don’t understand or loose language that could lead to future conflict. Of course, we need to be cautious that we aren’t participating in UPL, but we can work with clients to:

• Advocate for clear and complete language
• Review parts of their agreement that are unclear
• Explore needs, fears, what if's, and goals
• Document questions for the mediator/attorney
• Detail what they would like the agreement to say

When we empower our clients to advocate for clear, concise, and detailed language in their agreements, we set them up for success.


Learn more about DCA™ or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Our clients often face big decisions about real estate, especially the marital home, but as we’ll discuss today, money matters in divorce aren’t just about the numbers. They frequently get complicated by big emotions, so we thought our guest Jody Bruns would be the perfect expert to talk us through the best way to support our clients in making smart, strategic  decisions when it comes to mortgage financing.

Jody is President and Founder of the Divorce Lending Association and is credited with establishing industry certification programs for both real estate and mortgage professionals working with divorcing clients. Jody takes her knowledge further as an approved continuing education provider for multiple bar associations and financial planning boards, educating attorneys, financial planners, and other divorce professionals on the underlying concerns when divorce and real estate meet head-on.

Listen in as we discuss the role of a CDLP®, how their specialized training sets them apart, and why having your client consult with one early in the process can both de-escalate conflict and result in a more satisfying settlement agreement. Here are just a few highlights from our conversation:

• No all mortgage lenders are the same - why the CDLP® designation matters
• Why bringing in a CDLP® earlier can improve outcomes for everyone
• How a CDLP® supports negotiation and proposal development
• Why emotions play such a big role in real estate decisions
• Where clients can find a CDLP® in their area

We know you'll enjoy getting to know Jody as much as we did.

Learn more and find a CDLP®: divorcelendingassociation.com

Learn more about DCA™ or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Make-believe or pretend play is an almost universal part of every kid's childhood. Most children love pretending to be everything from superheroes to astronauts, doctors, dancers, firefighters, and moms and dads. Today, we're getting into some tools you can use when you find yourself working with clients whose expectations and beliefs are keeping them squarely stuck in a state of make-believe.

Divorce expectations can be inherited from friends and or family experiences. They can come from from television shows, reality TV and movies about divorce. The problem with these expectations is that they often distort our client's perception of reality and make them see or hear what they want to see and hear rather than what’s really there. 

When clients have unrealistic expectations of divorce, whether positive or negative, they can experience disappointment and stress when reality closes in. And that, in turn, can escalate conflict.

Reality testing is the ability to distinguish between what' s real and what' s not and it's a key component of emotional intelligence. Reality testing in divorce coaching helps our clients to avoid making choices or decisions that are based on unrealistic expectations, mindsets, or beliefs.

Listen in as we offer some tools and powerful questions you can use with clients to give their expectations a tune-up in preparation for a better divorce experience.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We’ve all experienced it. Clients who can’t stop talking about their pain, are fixated on wanting to re-litigate past hurts, and who blame their partner for everything that isn’t going smoothly in their divorce process or co-parenting relationship. These clients are stuck in the problem cycle. And when they’re in the problem cycle, they can only see the problem. They can’t focus on solutions, so conflict resolution is nearly impossible.

Regardless of why they're stuck in the problem cycle, we see 3 consistent things that prevent our client from getting relief or resolution. Blaming their partner or co-parent for the problem. Focusing on the past and their pain rather than the future and their power. And allowing their negative emotions (blame) and a state of activation (pain)  to throw fuel on the fire of an already tense situation

It’s our job as ADR specialists to help clients break out of that cycle and become more focused on taking action that can get them closer to their desired outcome. And we use a 3-step process to accomplish this:

1. Identify the problem (recognize conflict)
2. Develop alternative solutions (generate options)
3. Implement and evaluate (reflect and assess)

When we're able to successfully help clients move beyond the problem cycle, they can focus on empathetic problem solving and desired outcomes. And that allows them to take control over managing the conflict and take their power back.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Divorce coaching is a relatively new profession, so most coaches offer a short, initial complimentary or free block of time for the client to get to know them and understand the value of the services we provide. And unless you got into this business as a ministry, you probably want to convert that initial conversation into a paying client. In this episode we want to focus on how you can consistently crush that consult call and grow your business.

But before we talk about the conversation itself, we talk about the purpose behind the conversation. It’s sales. If that made you feel icky, take a pause. Selling is nothing more than helping. Your prospect has a problem, and you have the solution.

What you call this initial conversation and the language you use sets your potential client up to anticipate a certain experience with you.  We break down the 3 most common types of initial conversations (complimentary consultation, discovery call or strategy session, mini-session or laser focus session) talk through the differences.

We are big fans of the consult call and we go into depth about why we have such a crush on this kind of conversation for building your business. We even give you a 4-step script you can use to help you close more sales.

So how do you conduct an effective initial conversation that converts into a sale? Professionalism, scripts and follow up are the three keys to building your business. Listen in as Tracy and Debra give you all the tips to stop wasting time on unproductive calls and start getting paying clients.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

The quickest route to jeopardizing your business is crossing the line and giving clients legal advice. Yes, as divorce coaches, we do support clients through the legal process and we do provide general divorce education, but we need to be very cautious to avoid acting as a legal advocate.

In this week's episode, we review the concept of the unauthorized practice of law, discuss what we can and cannot do as divorce coaches, and talk about the potential outcomes if you overstep your role.

Because divorce is a legal process, the only folks who are permitted to give legal advice are licensed attorneys. While requirements differ slightly from state to state, all states make it illegal to engage in the practice of law without first obtaining a license. Illegal! Anyone engaged in the practice of law without a license is committing a criminal act and is subject to penalties that range from fines to jail time.

Listen in as we talk through a common client scenario and illustrate the difference between coaching and UPL.

The bottom line is this ...  if you're staying in the coaching zone and adhering to the principle that we don't tell clients what to do, you won't be in the danger zone.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We talked last week about what can happen when new coaches get distracted by the latest market trends and shiny objects.  This week, we want to continue the conversation and chat about the importance of ongoing professional development. Because growing a divorce coaching practice isn't easy and it's certainly not a one-time event.

A general rule of thumb is to allocate about 10% of your gross revenue to professional development. But keep in mind, that many continuing education expenses are tax-deductible for you if you're self-employed.

By continuing to expand your knowledge, you'll gain confidence and that will translate into a higher consult call conversion rate and raving client fans. Ongoing professional development allows you to dive deeper into areas of interest to help focus your programs and offerings. And expertise or additional certifications provide credibility and/or may allow you to raise your rates over time.

We hear many new coaches say that they can't afford to invest in continuing education because they're not making money yet. But there are tons of free or low cost ways to learn and grow. The ABA, APFM and AFCC all offer affordable memberships for divorce coaches and give you access to free webinars and resources. Your local or state court or bar association may be another source for low-cost or even free educational opportunities.

Not only will you expand your knowledge base, improve your coaching skills, and stay current with the trends in divorce, but you'll meet lots of other professionals that can be referral or collaboration partners.

Certification is just the first step, If you want to keep growing your business, you have to keep growing too.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Trying to decide where to start or what to do next when it comes to your business can feel overwhelming at times. It's easy to see the latest shiny trend and lose focus.  Debra and Tracy discuss how to navigate this difficult process, how to simplify your approach, and how to know what's working in today's episode.

When it comes to trying to grow your business, we all tend to look for inspiration from people who are already where you want to be. The important word here though is INSPIRATION! Trying to do everything that person is doing is a surefire way to end up confused and tired.

KISS isn't just a great band, but a good reminder that sometimes less is more. I'm talking about "Keep It Simple Silly"!

It's easy to lose focus of your goal without a proper plan. It's like chucking spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. How are you going to know what's making a difference in your business if you don't know which piece of spaghetti is making the impact?

A great practice to help with this is tracking your Key Performance Indicators (KPI's). Having data specific to each new approach you take will help you understand not only what's bringing in new clients, but how to better allocate your resources.

It's important to remember that new followers or business contacts does not equal new clients. Make sure that what you're doing with your business is bringing in NEW BUSINESS. Followers and contacts don't make you money!

Ask yourself this....are you just making yourself busy or are you getting results?

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Did you know that, at least in the US, the first business day in January is known as "National Divorce Day"? That's because historically that's the day that family law attorneys get the most inquiries from people thinking about starting the divorce process.

There are many reasons January is the heaviest month for divorce filings. It might be that it's a new year and they can't imagine spending yet another year in that unfulfilling marriage. Or perhaps the stress of the holidays put them over the edge. Or they made a decision months ago and have just been hanging on until the holidays are over and the kids are back in school.

Whatever the reason, we want you to be thinking about how you are preparing right now for the increase in potential clients.

We know that divorce coaches can be extremely helpful and effective when brought in at the very beginning - before that client hires an attorney. So how are you using your marketing language to help potential clients understand that value? What are you posting on social media? What are you saying when people ask what you do?

The current economic climate is a perfect opportunity to talk about saving money on divorce. Most people are seeing a hit to their property values, investments, and retirement accounts so there is even less to divide now. As a divorce coach, how are you communicating the benefits you offer in helping them choose a less expensive process, make better decisions, and manage emotions - all of which reduce their costs.

If you want to build your practice in 2023, we urge you to intentionally get ready for National Divorce Day.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Are you tempted to skip the paperwork and start working with a client before you have a signed coaching agreement in place? In today's episode, Tracy and Debra discuss the importance of those coaching agreements for your practice and your protection.

First things first. Professionals require agreements or contracts before they commence work - attorneys, mediators, contractors, doctors, massage therapists - all require us to sign some kind of agreement that outlines the rules of engagement. If we want to be seen as professional, why would we provide services without an agreement (or payment)?

An agreement is critical to making sure you and your client both clearly understand the expectations within your coaching relationship. Providing details about services and confidentiality can increase client confidence and trust in you. But you aren't just helping people through their divorce, you're running a business. And your business deserves protection, so be thorough about defining the limitations of your coaching and don't forget those financial boundaries.

Ok, it's important, but what should your agreement include? Here are some of the components we review in today's episode:

• Roles and responsibilities of the coach and the client
• Services included
• Payment policy
• Cancellation policy
• Refund policy
• Confidentiality
• Indemnification

Whether you choose an automated solution like Debra or a more manual one like Tracy, we encourage you to create an agreement that works for you and set that professional boundary that work does not commence until a signed agreement is in place.


 You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

One of the hardest parts of divorce for any parent is the idea of losing time with their children.  In this episode, we discuss how divorce coaches can help clients process some of the obstacles that get in the way of crafting parenting plans that focus on the needs of the children instead of the needs of the parents to maintain their identity.

Navigating timesharing and decision making can tough issues when it comes to designing a parenting plan. Neither parent wants to feel as if they're being delegated to take a back seat in their child's life When parents feel that the role they've played is being threatened, emotions run high and negotiations stall.

Our job as divorce coaches is to help our clients shift their mindset and understand that their status or position as "mom" or "dad" is not defined by the percentage of time the children spend with them. Their status as a parent is irrefutable and unchanging. Their ability to be the "math homework helper" or "boyfriend breakup counselor" or "soccer team cheerleader" is not altered by a calendar.

The child's perception of their parent's identity has not changed. Children do not see their moms or dads differently because they are not physically present. The only thing that will cause a child to view their parent otherwise is a parents' own actions. Gatekeeping behaviors like making disparaging comments or restricting access can confuse children about parental roles - timesharing does not.

The big question we can help clients answer is: "Am I making this about me or am I making it about my child?" This isn't easy work. Holding up a mirror to help clients see and move past their identity threats requires a lot of affirmation and validation. And it requires helping them shift from seeing it as a loss of identity to an opportunity to expand their identity.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Getting new clients is important, but so is making sure you’re spending your time, money and energy on the marketing activities and admin tasks that create the most return for your business.

Today, Tracy and Debra talk about the metrics that have helped them  make critical decisions in their businesses. Do you know what percentage of your consult calls are converting to paying clients? Do you know which marketing channels or activities are generating the most leads for you? What portion of your business is referrals from satisfied clients?

The time you spend on creating posts or interacting on social media, attending networking meetings, writing emails or blog posts, conducting or following up on consults...is time you could be spending somewhere else. Smart business owners constantly assess whether they're focusing their time on the right activities.

In any business, efficiency is key and coaching is no different. Tracking your KPI's (Key Performance Indicators) as part of your monthly routine can point you to the places that are giving you the most bang for your buck (or time).

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Getting your certification as a divorce coach is awesome, but then what do you do? On today's episode Tracy and Debra talk about how to get those first clients and where new coaches should focus their energy when just starting out.

It's easy to get caught up in "shiny object syndrome" and feel the need to do ALL THE THINGS right away. We want you to relax. You don't need a fancy website, an expensive business coach, or a ton of social media outlets to start building a profitable practice.

We'll talk about a few of the foundational classes DCA™ offers that can start new divorce coaches off on the right foot including Consults to Clients and Grassroots Marketing. You'll also hear us share our passion for reflective practice and the incredible results coaches are getting in our Case Consultation & Mastermind Group.

So, if you're just beginning your career as a professional divorce coach and aren't sure where to start...today's Divorce Coaches Academy™ podcast episode is just for you!


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

In this introductory episode, Tracy and Debra share a little background about the inspiration for creating Divorce Coaches Academy™.  They talk about the mission and purpose of DCA™ which is to offer affordable, online continuing education for professional divorce coaches so they can maximize client impact and create thriving practices. They also work tirelessly to raise awareness and advocate for the profession of divorce coaching.

Listen in as they introduce the purpose of this new podcast and invite you into the growing community of divorce coaches who are raising the standard of practice and professionalism in the field. Whether you're a new divorce coach ready to launch, an experienced coach looking to expand your practice, or a divorce professional interested in learning more about how professional divorce coaches add value to the process...we hope to provide lots of helpful information in the weeks to come.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Positivity and possibility are two distinct approaches in personal development, divorce coaching, and conflict resolution, each with its own strengths and weaknesses. While positivity focuses on maintaining a positive outlook and minimizing negative emotions, possibility emphasizes exploring new opportunities and potential for growth.

In today's episode, we pull from William Ury's new book "Possible: Surviving (and Thriving) in an Age of Conflict" to talk about why having a possibilist outlook is so important to conflict resolution.

Positivity can actually act as a barrier especially for those clients facing challenging conflict situations, anchored in positional thinking, or stuck in the problem cycle. Suppressing or ignoring negative emotions doesn't make them go away - they simply come up at unintended and unexpected times. And that can escalate conflict.

Ury's focus on possibility supports clients' ability to envision and achieve positive outcomes by exploring new opportunities and potential pathways for growth. By focusing on what is possible, coaches can help individuals navigate their challenges with resilience, creativity, and confidence.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We explore why love and conflict can coexist during divorce and how skill, not intention, changes outcomes. We show how awareness, regulation, and alignment transform automatic reactions into choices that protect kids and shape a healthier family system.

• acknowledging care while choosing to leave
• love as orientation, not conflict strategy
• conditioned patterns and nervous system activation
• awareness of triggers and pre‑reaction cues
• regulation tools that create space and choice
• alignment of behavior with future goals
• shifting family dynamics by changing one response
• redefining love as practiced stability and restraint

If you are interested in learning more about the professional practice of divorce coaching as a form of dispute resolution, please do not hesitate to check us out at Divorce CoachesAcademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We have a treat for you this week. Tracy is joined by fellow Divorce Coach Michelle Browning who also happens to be a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner.

They discuss the physical experience of divorce and how Michelle's practices help clients come into alignment with their nervous systems.

Michelle says "we're not logical, we're biological" and we can't ignore how the physical body is impacted by all the restructuring that divorce brings. Have you ever been told to "calm down" when you're having a normal human reaction to something? We find out that's a big personal trigger for Tracy. Michelle explains how and why our nervous system gets triggered or activated and how we can create safety in our bodies to return to a more flexible, problem-solving state of being.

When clients' bodies and nervous systems are activated, they may think and behave in ways they normally wouldn't. Michelle explains how this can lead to shame which can feed the conflict cycle.

Listen in for some great coaching tips and for more information about Michelle's upcoming 4-week class at DCA™ - Coaching Divorce Overwhelm: A Somatic Approach which begins on March 13.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Divorce Coach Certification: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/pages/divorcecoach
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

When a US based company like Divorce Coaches Academy enters the Canadian market during a time of trade tensions, it’s a lot like navigating a complex divorce negotiation.

Both involve high emotions, financial stakes, competing interests, and, most importantly, the need for skilled professionals to guide the process toward a fair and workable resolution.

The reaction to the trade wars this week is eerily familiar to how we see clients in divorce. These trade wars have thrust Canadians, and many Americans, into uncertainty and worry. REAL worry about their finances and ultimately their families. The headlines warn of a certain recession in Canada.

We talked a few weeks ago about how Canada is changing how divorce is handled. And that means even more need for professional, conflict resolution focused divorce coaches.

The cross-border partnership that we have developed with our Canadian Director, Dori Braddell, is based on mutual respect and creating win-win scenarios for both of us. There's no war here when it comes to ensuring that Canadians continue to have access to the most robust, most professional divorce coach training on the market.

At the end of the day, whether you’re negotiating a trade agreement or a divorce settlement, the key to success is the same: clear communication, skilled guidance, accurate information and a focus on the future rather than the past.

It really is all about finding common ground both in trade and divorce, right?

It's not too late to join this Canadian cohort of DCA divorce coach training. Go to divorcecoachesacademy.com/divorcecoach to learn more and apply.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We're back with one of our most requested topics - how to build a solo practice that can meet your financial goals. It's been almost 6 months since we challenged you to evaluate your marketing objectives in episode #87 titled "Make More in 2024; Revenue Resolutions You Can Keep" ... so how are you doing?

Is your bank account going to be bursting the first month after you get certified? Absolutely not. And anyone who promises you'll earn $70k or more in your first year is giving you a sales pitch that's not grounded in reality.

We know first hand that the path to reaching business and financial goals in this business is fraught with challenges that require careful planning, strategic decision-making, ongoing monitoring, and persistent effort. Wishful thinking, though often tempting, can get in your way.

So today, we explore the reasons wishful thinking is detrimental to solo practice building (hope is not a strategy) and highlight some practical steps you can take to move your business forward.

The profession of divorce coaching can be a satisfying and financially rewarding pursuit, but it requires an understanding of business planning - being a talented coach is simply not enough.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Today's discussion is all about how to start making money in your divorce coaching practice. We see far too many talented professionals ditch their dreams of achieving financial success and want to share some tips for hitting your first $10k without all the expense or heartache.

Being a great coach with impeccable coaching skills is one part of the equation, but if you're not selling to those you come in contact with in your daily life, you're missing out on the relationships and referral opportunities that can jumpstart your business.

Statistics show that 20% of small business fail within the first year (OUCH) and  we don't want  you to be a statistic!

Listen in as we share the four keys to accelerate making money in your business:

1. Share your elevator speech
2. Close consult calls
3. Nail the takeaway and celebrate results
4. Ask for the referral

As a professional divorce coach, you have the solution to your potential client's problem. Remember that by sharing that message (selling) you are making sure the client doesn't walk away with that problem still in their hands (helping).

DCA™ is committed to your success as a practicing, professional divorce coach and that means helping you reach your financial goals.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

If you’re just starting out, you might be wondering, ‘Where do I find colleagues to connect with? How do I meet potential clients? And what organizations should I join to grow my business?

In this episode, we give some insight about networking with other professionals - what to look for, what works, and what’s a waste of your time and money.

As a divorce coach, your network is one of your most valuable assets. Unlike other fields where clients might find you through advertising alone, a huge part of your success will come from referrals—whether that’s from attorneys, therapists, financial professionals, or even other coaches. Strong networking helps you:

• Establish credibility in your field
• Gain client referrals
• Build relationships with other professionals who can complement your services
• Stay updated on industry trends and best practices

By joining the right organizations, making meaningful connections, and staying engaged, you can create a steady stream of referrals and professional support. So, be smart about it, be intentional about it, but get out there and start building those relationships!

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Today, our Canadian Director Dori Braddell joins Tracy for a fascinating and timely discussion of the recent changes to the family justice system in Canada, including mandatory ADR, and what it means for dispute resolution and divorce coaching.

Dori shares that in 2024, some provinces have made it mandatory for divorcing couples to make an ADR attempt first before they can have their matter heard in court. Couples can no longer go directly to a judge to decide their family matters. And in provinces where it’s not mandatory (yet), she is seeing judges order couples into an ADR process or require it if either party requests it. 

This means that divorcing Canadians are more likely to participate in ADR, whether by choice or not, than ever before. And demand for professionals to support them will continue to grow. 

We know that one on one, individualized dispute resolution support from a Certified Divorce Coach can be the difference between a blown ADR attempt and a settlement agreement. Divorce Coaches are that secret weapon, the special sauce that exponentially improves the odds at succeeding in something you didn’t have choice but to do.

The next cohort of DCA divorce coach training for Canada begins the week of March 9 and Dori would love to chat with you about the opportunities that this new legislation opens up for properly trained divorce coaches.

You can schedule a 1-1 call with her: Dori's Calendar

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Ready for some straight talk about building a divorce coaching practice? Forget the overnight success stories you've seen on social media. The path to a thriving practice follows a predictable pattern that requires patience, consistency, and strategic action.

Tracy and Debra break down the four distinct phases every successful divorce coach navigates. The Foundation Phase (months 1-3) is all about behind-the-scenes work – establishing your niche, setting up systems, and creating your brand. Though clients aren't flooding in yet, this groundwork is essential. Next comes the Visibility Phase (months 3-9), where you're networking, creating content, and often feeling like you're "shouting into the void." This is where many coaches get discouraged, but perseverance during this period builds the trust and recognition that eventually leads to clients.

The Growth Phase (months 9-18) brings your first consistent clients and referrals but also requires you to think like a CEO. Systems need refinement, continuing education becomes crucial, and mentorship can accelerate your progress. Finally, the Scaling Phase (18+ months) is when things "really start to click" – your practice becomes sustainable, and you can explore group programs or digital offerings without burning out.

What makes this journey manageable? Community support, realistic expectations, and celebrating small wins along the way. Whether you're just starting out or somewhere along this path, remember that building a profitable practice is absolutely possible – just not overnight. What small step can you take today toward building your sustainable divorce coaching business?

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Well, we couldn't be more excited to have THE Susan Guthrie joining us on the podcast this week. TBH we were fangirling a little bit, but we had the most incredible conversation about how she transitioned from litigation to ADR and why Susan believes a divorce coach should be everyone's first call.

Susan is a nationally recognized Top Family Law Attorney and Mediator with over 32 years of unparalleled experience. And now as one of the world's foremost family, collaborative, and mediation trainers, Susan is dedicated to helping legal and dispute resolution professionals elevate their practices for a more fulfilling and prosperous career.

Susan talks about the moment that changed the trajectory of her career from a burned out litigator to a mediator and how her own personal experiences with divorce and being part of a blended family have continued to impact her work.

She also share why she believes a team approach to divorce is the best approach for families and why a divorce coach trained from an ADR perspective is the right fit for that team. We couldn't be more honored that Susan is such a big supporter of DCA's new ADR divorce coach certification program.

And if you've been curious about artificial intelligence like ChatGPT, Susan will be holding a training on June 28 through Mosten-Guthrie Academy so you can learn how to incorporate this new tool into your practice.


Susan's website: susaneguthrie.com
Mosten-Guthrie Academy website: mostenguthrie.com
ChatGPT Training: ChatGPT and Your Practice


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

These days we seem to be living in a society defined by us versus them, black and white thinking, intolerance, fixed mindsets, and lack of curiosity. Not only is conflict remaining unresolved, but our interactions (especially online) seem to pour more gasoline on the fire rather than cooling it off. We see conflict spiraling and escalating at an alarming rate and there seems to be less interest in trying to find common ground or solutions. It’s almost like people are itching for a fight.

We’ve seen family members stop speaking to each other, long time friendships disintegrate and workplaces become minefields.

The question is…where can we go from here? Are we just destined to continue down a path of divisiveness or is there a way to move toward relationship and restoration? We believe that whether it’s politics or divorce and co-parenting, we can apply the same aspects of conflict resolution to both politics and divorce.

Listen in as we explore 6 lessons grounded in the electoral process's emphasis on structure, fairness, and engagement, and how we can adapt them to personal and professional conflict resolution scenarios as well.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

"Nesting" sounds like the perfect solution when parents divorce – children stay in the comfort of their family home while mom and dad are the ones who rotate in and out. But what happens when one parent returns to find empty refrigerators, piles of dirty laundry, and dust bunnies the size of a softball? Tracy and Debra discuss both the promises and the pitfalls of this increasingly popular custody option.

We unpack the logistics of maintaining multiple households, the financial strain this arrangement can create, and the exceptional level of communication required between separating spouses. From locked bedroom doors in shared apartments to negotiations about who buys the groceries, the seemingly small details often become major sticking points that can derail even the most well-intentioned nesting plans.

While nesting can provide children with stability during the turbulence of divorce, it requires parents to honestly assess whether their co-parenting relationship can handle this unique arrangement. We share real client experiences, practical coaching strategies for evaluating if nesting aligns with your values, and crucial questions to consider before agreeing to this setup. For those willing to create clear agreements and boundaries, nesting might offer a compassionate transition period – but it's rarely a permanent solution.

Whether you're contemplating this arrangement for your family or supporting clients through divorce as a coach, this discussion provides realistic guidance on when nesting works, when it doesn't, and how to set clear expectations from the beginning. If you've had experience with nesting arrangements, we'd love to hear about it – connect with us through social media or at divorcecoachesacademy.com to share your insights.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Clients don’t always serve up their fears, goals, biases, needs, expectations, assumptions and thinking problems on a silver platter. Often they’re embedded deep inside their stories.  One of the most critical skills we develop as coaches is to hear what isn’t being said.  In today’s episode we dive into how excellent coaches train themselves to perform these Jedi mind tricks and how you can use those skills to create awareness and transformation for your client.

Why in the world are we calling these Jedi mind tricks? I mean what does Star Wars have to do with divorce coaching? What we’re actually talking about is being so connected to your client and what they’re saying to you that you’re able to use your training , discipline, and intuition to discern which clues, comments, and patterns require further exploration.

And we do that by doing 2 things consistently and doing them well - actively  listening and remaining fully present.

Listen in as we explore specific active listening skills, mindfulness techniques, and client scenarios to support you in perfecting your Jedi mind tricks.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Bring on the haters, but we're gonna say it. We don't recommend attorneys or other divorce professionals to clients. And we think it's risky business for coaches to do it.

In this week's episode, Tracy and Debra chat about the reasons they don't share lists of recommended professionals with clients. Aside from the fact that both of them work nationally and internationally, it's not a practice they employ with local clients either.

The number one reason is because it takes away the client's agency. It strips them of the power to make their own divorce decisions. Coaching is about helping the client self-discover what they want and what they need, so why would choosing an attorney or a CDFA be any different?

Often clients come to us feeling overwhelmed, uniformed, and anxious about what to do next. We add the most value to helping them explore their fears, prioritize their needs, and determine what information they need. If they decide they need some outside expertise, we can best support them by identifying the interview questions they need to ask to determine if a given professional is the best fit for them. Then after those interviews, we can process what they learned so they can make the right choice for themselves.

One of the risks we run when recommending or referring is that we can't know who is fit for an individual client. Just because a previous client had a good experience doesn't mean that this client will. And if they don't? Now you're in the hot seat. And that's not good for your coaching relationship or your business.

Your best bet is to stick with coaching rule #1 - Ask, Don't Tell.  Use your powerful questioning skills rather than giving your client a list. You'll be protected and it will serve your client better in the long run as they gain confidence to make their own decisions.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We're excited to bring you another spotlight coach interview with our CDC colleague Cindy Stibbard.

Cindy is the driven and compassionate entrepreneur and CEO behind Divorce ReDefined, her Vancouver-based separation and divorce coaching practice. After going through her own high-conflict divorce, this passionate and determined mother of two, became inspired to help others successfully navigate this difficult time in their lives. As a Certified Divorce Coach® and Certified Divorce Specialist, and trained Relationship Discernment/Decision Coach, Cindy created her unique practice to help people on an international level through every stage of their divorce.

Cindy was gracious enough to spend some time with Debra to chat about how divorce coaches play a key role in helping those going through divorce choose the right professionals for their team.

We talked about how the divorce coach is the most underrated player in divorce today. Cindy uses the analogy of a concierge to describe how a coach works as the single go-to person who helps clients find the resources and information they need to feel informed and in control.

Cindy and Debra examine why having the right professionals involved can set clients up for successful negotiation, good decision making, lower costs, better co-parenting relationships, and better outcomes.

Divorce coaches truly do play a critical role in helping clients build their professional dream team.


You can find Cindy at the following links:
Website: https://www.divorceredefined.ca/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorceredefined/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@divorceredefined


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

One of the most emotional and difficult parts of divorce can be negotiating parenting plans - especially for co-parents who are experiencing a high degree of conflict. We shared a statistic last week that 80% of the family court calendar is taken up by custody matters and frankly that breaks our hearts. Because we know that parental conflict is the #1 reason children are negatively impacted in the divorce process.

Today, we discuss why we believe a thorough and detailed parenting plan is the most effective way to help conflicted co-parents prevent future disagreements and future litigation.

An effective parenting plan goes well beyond just parenting time schedules and expense sharing, but encourages parents to discuss the many details of raising children together. Regardless of how parents feel about each other, the fact is that they will be family for life. As anyone with adult children knows, parenting doesn’t stop when a child turns 18.

We often hear that attorneys push back on discussing or documenting any agreements that aren’t supported by the legal statutes. The typical response is “That’s not enforceable”.  And we get it - lawyers are focused on the legal aspects of a divorce case. But as divorce coaches, we take a more holistic approach and are interested in helping families transition so they are able to co-parent effectively. 

Listen in as we chat about why we believe that changing the experience of divorce for families means moving beyond the legal minimum requirements and developing a comprehensive plan that works for each family. 

Conflicted Co-Parenting Training Begins Nov 4 --> Learn More and Enroll

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

In this week's episode, we're exploring why empathy is so challenging in the context of divorce, why it's a key factor in conflict resolution and negotiation, and what can be done to foster it.

One of the primary reasons empathy is so challenging during divorce and co-parenting is the intensity of emotions involved. Big feelings like anger, betrayal, resentment, injustice and more can invoke our natural instinct is to protect ourselves. 

Also, the legal process and the adversarial nature of divorce proceedings can create an environment of competition rather than cooperation where any show of empathy might be seen as weakness.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk about the role of empathy in divorce and the 7 tools we can use to effectively use empathy strategically to improve outcomes for families.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

It’s well known that divorce can be one of the most stressful life events our clients will experience. And we’ve talked extensively about how fear escalates cost and conflict. But there’s a secret ingredient that can make the process even more difficult and more expensive … and that’s trauma.

Today we are going to give you some insight into working with clients experiencing PTSD or post traumatic spouse disorder. No, that’s not a real DSM diagnosis, but it is a condition that can affect people who go through extremely contentious divorces.

According to psycholoogytoday.com, “The word 'trauma' literally means wound, shock, or injury".  Studies have found that following relationship dissolution, many people manifest symptoms similar to those experienced by people who have survived highly stressful situations.

This means that in some cases, those who experience divorce could experience true PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms similar to those who have experienced military combat, natural disasters, sexual assault, or other life-threatening events.

Coaching a client in trauma presents some extra challenges because their alarm system is going off and when we feel threatened, it’s hard to have the same level of self-awareness or decision making skills.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra discuss types of trauma, trauma responses, trauma recovery, and strategies for supporting clients struggling with PTSD.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Our featured guest today, Heather Cary, is a trusted member of the DCA team and is an experienced Divorce and Co-Parenting Coach and Mediator who is dually certified as a DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach and a CDC® Certified Divorce Coach. She holds a Masters of Education, is certified as a New Ways For Families Co-Parent Coach, is trained as a Mediator, serves as a Parent Educator in her local area, and is a member of the Oregon Association of Collaborative Professionals.

Today, Heather and Debra talk about the benefits of support groups for individuals going through divorce. Specifically we discuss the advantages of a professionally facilitated group like the affordable ones offered at DCA for just $75/month.

People often seek information, advice, and support from friends, family, Google or Facebook but because that information is generic, it doesn't always help clients make the best decisions for themselves. 

The DCA groups are facilitated by certified, professional ADR divorce coaches who are committed to offering both information and personal support in a consistent and safe online environment for topics like:

• How to stay sane while on the emotional rollercoaster
• How to negotiate effectively with your STBX (soon to be ex)
• How to make hard decisions with confidence
• How to parent your kids through this transition
• How to get organized and prepared
• How to save money and understand your options
• How to make the best use of time with your attorney

Listen in to learn how DCA is combining community support and professional divorce coaching for just $75/month and how it can provide amazing benefits for you, your clients, and families.

Group Coaching: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/groups

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

No doubt we've have all seen some pretty shady characters pull some pretty shady tricks in divorce and co-parenting. There are people in this world that get off on hurting others - the more you hurt, the happier they are. It’s sad to think that people like this exist, but wishing and hoping they were different doesn’t solve the problem. There’s still a settlement agreement to negotiate or years of co-parenting ahead.

This week we're talking about helping clients take control wherever possible to protect their own safety and their own peace. And that means we’re going to be talking about boundaries - making decisions and taking actions that shield them from harm and keep them moving toward their goals.

We run through a little role play to demonstrate the difference between effective and ineffective boundaries. Then we discuss the two things that typically keep clients from acting to set good boundaries (fear and values conflicts) and provide a 4-step process for working through those with them.

Remember that boundaries are an action, not an ask. So when clients are struggling with the behavior of others, our job is to help them determine what options they have that do not rely on their spouse or co-parent’s agreement or compliance. That’s where their power, peace, and safety lie.

Learn more about DCA® or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Did you know the family law/divorce lawyer industry revenue for 2022 is projected to be $12.1 billion dollars? OMG, that's a lot of money being spent on divorce.

On today's podcast, Tracy and Debra talk about the frustration that clients often experience with their attorneys and what you, as a professional divorce coach, can do to support your clients to have a more productive AND cost-effective relationship.

It seems the narrative out there is that the only way to divorce is to get an attorney, so that is the first step many clients take. In fact, the court system was not intended to be a family resolution process. So, they are expecting the legal system to solve a family problem.

In an ideal world, divorce coaches would be brought in at the very beginning. That would allow us to help them understand the process, explore all their divorce options and if they do choose to work with an attorney, assist them in identifying their needs and interview questions targeted to their specific case.

And once that relationship is established, we can provide enormous value in guiding the client to take charge of their own divorce, be a credible client, communicate effectively, and be assertive when the relationship isn't meeting their needs. We can also help them assess if they are contributing to the problems that exist or if they need to change counsel.

You have the opportunity and, we would argue, responsibility to consistently speak to potential clients through your marketing materials and in your consult calls about the benefits of making a divorce coach the first member of their team.

We can make a difference for families.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We're so happy to bring you another spotlight coach episode this week featuring Jennifer Warren Medwin,

Jennifer Warren Medwin, MS is a CDC© Certified Divorce Coach, Supreme Court of Florida Family Mediator, a Certified Marital Mediator, and author of Strategies & Tips from a Divorce Coach: A Roadmap to Move Forward.  Jennifer is a member of the National Association of Divorce Professionals (NADP), a member of the SupportPay Advisory Council, and a contributing writer for Your Tango, Thrive Global, and OurFamilyWizard. She partners with clients to develop the clarity, confidence, courage, conflict management strategies, and communication skills they need to move through the process.

Tracy and Jennifer shared an intimate conversation about the role of professional divorce coaching, the inspiration behind Jennifer's book, her writing process, and why she believes having a framework can help couples make divorce less difficult.

Jennifer says her book is like "having a divorce coach in your pocket" and shares how emotional management and conflict resolution skills play such a big part in helping families experience a less traumatic divorce process and move forward more successfully.

Listen in as Tracy and Jennifer talk about the power of divorce coaching and reminisce back to the time when Tracy was Jennifer's mentor in the CDC program. The mutual admiration is an inspiration to all of us in the profession.

You can find Jennifer at the following links:
Website: https://www.seekingempowerment.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenseekingempowerment/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jenseekingempowerment
Get her Book "Strategies and Tips from a Divorce Coach: A Roadmap to Move Forward": https://www.amazon.com/Strategies-Tips-Divorce-Coach-Roadmap/dp/1736854410/

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

This week we’re going to take a classic children’s story and use it as a model for approaching proposal development with your clients. Goldilocks and the Three Bears is such a legendary fairy tale. You could ask just about anyone and you'd get the same general story. The three bears leave their home to go out for a walk. Goldilocks happens by and goes inside to explore the place. She samples the porridge and tries out their chairs and their beds.  She assess each and determines that they are too hot, too cold, too big, too small, too hard, too soft, and finally, just right. Breaking and entering aside, we think there’s a lot to learn from Goldilocks when it comes to developing proposals in divorce that are just right.

So how do we use all these lessons from Goldilocks with clients working on divorce settlement proposals? Well, in order to help get clients prepared to be in that flexible thinking frame of mind, we like to work with them to develop Tiered Proposals. This helps avoid major negotiation mistakes like a my way or the highway approach and it helps them plan for both receiving and making counter proposals. That’s what keeps the conversation going and increases the chance that they can reach resolution.

This process of working through tiered proposals helps clients eliminate ideas that are too hot, too big or too hard and encourages them to reach beyond ideas that are too cold, too small or too soft. This intentional, strategic process allows them to find the range of solutions that are “just right” for them.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk through Goldilocks syndrome, the Goldilocks rule, and the Goldilocks principle and how they apply when supporting your clients in developing flexible thinking and a problem solving approach when it comes to crafting tiered proposals.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

We like to think that we actively have our fingers on the pulse of the divorce industry and the application of divorce coaching nationally and around the world. But recently, we have been hearing some noise about the need for divorce coaches to have training in areas such as trauma and post separation abuse. Yet, at the same time, we're hearing cries for divorce coaches to stay in their lane. 

We are finding this dialogue confusing - not only for professional practicing divorce coaches but for consumers who are looking to learn more about working with a divorce coach or how divorce coaching can help them. 

The reality is that any good, professional divorce coach is trauma sensitive in the way they approach their work with clients. The difference is that we do not venture into the arena of DV advocacy, legal advice or therapy. We remain firmly grounded in the ABA definition of divorce coaching as a form of dispute resolution.

A trauma-informed approach to conflict in divorce recognizes and addresses the impact of trauma on individuals' behaviors, emotions, and interactions. This approach is rooted in understanding the pervasive effects of trauma and emphasizes safety, trust, empowerment, and collaboration.

We endeavor to minimize further harm by helping clients get through their divorce process with the least amount of damage to their bank account and their mental health. Because the only way out is through. In order to recover from the negative experience of the marriage, our clients need support to get to the other side where they can be free to heal and build a new life.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

This week we had a great networking event where we discussed the popular TED Talk, "How to avoid catching prickly emotions from other people". Did you know there's a cactus nicknamed the "jumping cholla" for it's tendency to seemingly shoot cactus spines into unsuspecting passersby? 

The same thing can happen when we get too close to people having big emotions. When a spouse or co-parent is angry, hostile or negative, we can get hurt if we catch those feelings from them. Today we’re going to give you and your clients some information and tools to avoid this “jumping cholla effect” or what we call emotional contagion.

First we dig into how emotional contagion happens, where emotion comes from and how to work with clients to raise awareness about how their beliefs, expectations and even physical symptoms can contribute to this process.

Then we offer some strategies we call "bubble wrap" to provide protection from any pricks that might be flying your way. These include understanding mirror neurons; cognitive reappraisal; "OK, So what, Now What"; and of course, boundaries.

Here’s to staying safe out there.


Watch the TED Talk: Catching Prickly Emotions

Find a DCA® Divorce Coach: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/coach-locator

Learn more about DCA® or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

One thing we've noticed this year is that the Olympians we admire most have some lessons to teach us about divorce and co-parenting including sportsmanship, teamwork, and how to handle stress, victory and defeat.

Let’s take Katie Ledecky for example. She is widely regarded as the greatest female swimmer of all time and one of the greatest Olympians of all time. At just 27 years old, she has won eight Olympic gold medals and 21 world championship gold medals. What sets Ledecky apart from her competitors is her incredible work ethic and unyielding determination.

And Ledecky is just one of thousands of athletes who are showing us this level of dedication, sacrifice, and commitment to excellence and teaching us important lessons about teamwork, collaboration, managing stress, sportsmanship, the role of coaching, the importance of goals, and knowing when to retire.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra chat about the 12 divorce and co-parenting lessons they're taking away from the Olympic athletes.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

In this episode, we dive into the significant, but often unrecognized role of ego in divorce conflict. In William Ury’s book "Possible", he identifies how ego plays a significant role in escalating conflicts.

But this really shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. When we focus on being "right" or protecting our pride, we may very well lose sight of the larger goals. This is what we refer to as an inner conflict and there is a critical connection between resolving inner conflict and addressing external conflict. Part of working to resolve inner conflict often involves setting aside ego-driven impulses to prioritize constructive solutions.

We know that divorce can be one of the most challenging experiences in life, and understanding how ego plays into the dynamics can be a game-changer. So, whether you’re going through a divorce yourself or supporting someone who is, listen in as we explore some insights and strategies to help navigate this emotional minefield. 

Divorce is never easy, but understanding the role of ego in the process can help you navigate it with more clarity and grace. By recognizing when ego is driving reactions, one can choose healthier responses that prioritize resolution and well-being over pride and resentment.

Divorce coaching can offer clients support to identify when ego is creating obstacles to conflict resolution. Learn more about training to become a certified divorce coach or find a divorce coach at divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

What's the best and fastest way to ramp up conflict in divorce and co-parenting? Certainly derailing language is near the top of the list. Those phrases that automatically trigger defensiveness or an emotional response - things like "you always", "you never", "you're overreacting", or Tracy's personal favorite, "calm down".

This week, we unpack how and why this type of language contributes to conflict and we offer 13 strategies you can use with clients to help them stay on track and focused on their goals when it comes to the words they choose.

Communicating during divorce conflict is challenging because emotions are running high, needs aren't being met, someone is feeling threatened, and the stakes feel incredibly high. Derailing language is not only unproductive, it can move the conversation from an opportunity for a problem-solving to a full blown argument and combat. This, in turn, can lead to escalation into litigation, further deterioration of the relationship, and additional impact on children.

Overcoming derailing language is key to maintaining a constructive dialogue that respects all parties involved. By being mindful of our words, listening actively, and expressing ourselves constructively, we can turn conflicts into opportunities for understanding and resolution.


Learn more about DCA® or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Every divorce has conflict, but not every divorce is high conflict. As divorce coaches, we have the unique opportunity to help our clients become self-aware of their own conflict style, identify any personal behaviors that are contributing to divorce conflict and transition to a more strategic approach.

Word on the street is that everyone is divorcing a narcissist, but even in the presence of a full blown personality disorder, we can support clients in differentiating between actions that are protective and those that throw fuel on the fire.

Divorce conflict exists on a spectrum from general disagreements and good people behaving badly all the way to  false allegations, illegal behavior, and physical violence. One key for coaches is to "know your zone" and not attempt to coach clients that exceed your conflict comfort level.

Listen in to today's conversation as Debra and Tracy talk all things high conflict divorce and how professional divorce coaches play such a vital role in helping clients manage that conflict more productively and effectively.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Are you certified but feel like you're ready to elevate your practice? This week we have the pleasure of talking with two certified, practicing divorce coaches who recently completed DCA's ELEVATE program to add an ADR divorce coaching certification to their credentials.

Heather Cary and Carolyn Jacobs give us the inside scoop on their backgrounds, their initial certification, their decision to pursue additional ADR training, and how the DCA foundations, frameworks and skills have provided just what they needed to take their coaching practice to the next level.

ELEVATE is a new option for CDC certified divorce coaches who are looking to add ADR and conflict resolution skills. The ELEVATE program includes every lesson, every module, and every resource that our new divorce coaching students have access to. We believe our ADR approach is so revolutionary that we just couldn’t leave anything out. The coaching frameworks and approach to divorce fundamentals look and land differently when viewed and taught through an ADR lens.

Listen in as Heather and Carolyn describe how learning to speak ADR language, working with clients to focus on conflict management, and delivering an effective coaching session every time has increased both their impact with clients and their bottom line.

Find Heather:
Website: www.heathercarycoaching.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/the_mindful_divorce
Meetup: www.meetup.com/portland-divorce-support
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/heather-cary-b1640b104

Find Carolyn:
Website: www.allyindivorce.com
Instagram www.instagram.com/allyindivorce
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/carolyn-jacobs

Learn more about DCA® or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

• Court is the high conflict person's playground
• Costs can escalate quickly
• The legal process moves slowly
• Conflict can spiral out of control
• Children get caught in the crossfire
• Control is out of their hands
• Lose the ability to use de-escalation strategies
• Deceased compliance

So, while clients may feel that litigation is a safer alternative for dealing with their difficult spouse, by working with you they can gain the skills and confidence they need to try meditation. And by doing so, potentially avoid the expense, stress, and damage of a court battle.


Learn more about DCA™ or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Most bottom lines are generated out of fear and uncertainty.  Clients feel that their well being, identity, status, financial security and more are being threatened in divorce. Today we're talking about helping our clients explore options that meet their core interests while still allowing for flexibility and collaboration - and that means understanding their BATNA and WATNA.

Bottom lines in divorce are not all inherently bad. Sometimes they can play an important role in establishing boundaries or insuring safety during the divorce process. However, when this positional thinking keeps clients in a state of inflexibility and conflict ... it can increase costs, extend time to settlement, impact future relationships (co-parenting), and negatively impact children.

BATNA stands for "Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement." In the context of divorce, BATNA refers to the course of action a person can take if they are unable to reach an agreement with their spouse through negotiation or mediation. It is essentially the fallback option or the next best option available to a person if the divorce settlement or terms cannot be agreed upon. WATNA stands for “Worst Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement.”

In essence, the better your client’s alternatives are, the more they may push for a more favorable settlement. The worse their alternatives, the more accommodating they may be in the settlement negotiations.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra review the 5 steps you can use to support a client in negotiation:

1. Identify alternatives
2. Evaluate alternatives
3. Assess the BATNA
4. Assess the WATNA
5. Negotiate from a position of strength

Your client's BATNA and WATNA serve as guiding principles to help them make informed, intentional decisions and have a backup plan in the event that negotiations break down.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Interpersonal conflict is a part of our everyday lives, but divorce can magnify any conflict that already existed in the marriage. Tracy refers to divorce as a conflict petri dish.

In today's episode, we talk about how getting additional training to become a conflict resolution expert can provide your clients with even more tools and skills to manage conflict during divorce and beyond.

Families spend an exorbitant amount of money on divorce because the process is unfamiliar (read scary) and they don't have the skills necessary to engage in productive conflict and negotiation. We believe highly skilled divorce coaches can change that.

Although most divorce coach training programs introduce the concepts of conflict resolution, our 6-week DCA™ Divorce Conflict Coach training offers the next level of expertise you need to truly help clients make that shift. Debra gives a sneak peek into the upcoming class by sharing some of the goals for working with clients in conflict and a few of the characters you'll meet in class (you'll love Raging Regina, Clueless Carl and the rest of the bunch).

The 5 C's of conflict coaching are:

- Clarity
- Comprehension
- Choices
- Confidence
- Competence

The next session begins August 25 and we hope you'll consider adding this specialty to your divorce coaching practice. You'll get some cool letters after your name and your clients will get better outcomes. And those are both good for your business.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

DCA™ Divorce Conflict Coach Training: https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/courses/divorce-conflict-coach-aug-2022

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Today we're preaching about the much overlooked topic of the divorce budget. That means talking with your client early on in your coaching relationship about the amount of money they'd like to spend on their divorce.

Why is that so important? Because they can't get a Lamborghini divorce on a Kia budget.

Cultural norms tell people that if they want to get divorced, they have to hire a full-scope attorney. And yet we hear consistently from clients that they aren't happy with their attorney-client relationship. And that's because they jumped the gun. They hired someone before they thought through their divorce budget.

A lawyers.com study revealed that 75% of respondents hired an attorney to get their attorney fees paid for. What? They hired an attorney and then had to pay the attorney they couldn't afford to try to argue that their spouse should pay their attorney fees? That's some backwards thinking.

When clients start divorce without an understanding of the process, without preparation or without thinking through the implications of their decisions, they set themselves up to be a passenger on a runaway train. Costs and conflict can escalate before they know what happened.

If you're fortunate enough to work with a client at the very beginning stages of their divorce, we really encourage you to have this divorce budget conversation with them. It will help them make intentional decisions that are in alignment with their goals and insure that they aren't spending money on legal and professional fees that would be better spent on a kid's college, a downpayment on a house, or starting a business.

If your client wants a Kia divorce, they need help to be accountable that their actions and choices will help them achieve that goal. Otherwise, they might end up with a really expensive car they can't afford.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

November and December are historically slower months for divorce professionals. Even though they’ve made the decision to divorce, many people choose to wait until after the holidays to take any action. They worry about starting something that could instigate conflict during what should be the happiest time of the year for their kids.

That means there is a lot of pent up demand and so divorce professionals historically see an uptick in requests for their services in January. So much so that January is recognized as Divorce Month. And even more specifically, the first business day in January is usually referred to as National Divorce Day as family lawyers report that their phones ring off the hook. 

We’ve also talked about the efforts to begin repealing no-fault divorce laws and we would expect that anyone who’s been holding off may choose to move ahead now before any legislation could affect their ability to get divorced. So as a divorce coach, now is the perfect opportunity to position yourself as the go-to expert for those in need.

In today’s episode, we share some essential tips on how you can prepare for Divorce Month, optimize your marketing, and make sure your practice is ready to meet the demand. 

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

A couple of weeks ago we talked about amicable divorce and explored the idea that there’s a wide space between being BFF’s and being mortal enemies. In this episode, we get into one of the sneaky issues that can drive conflict - and that’s decision making biases.

In his book "Thinking Fast and Slow", Daniel Kahneman introduces us to the idea of system 1 (fast, automatic) and system 2 (slow, methodical) decision making.  Our clients’ overtired and overworked brains are desperately seeking some relief; some way to get through the decision making process more quickly and with less effort. And so there are 6 shortcuts or biases that have a tendency to show up in divorce and coparenting that contribute to conflict and the inability to resolve differences.

• Status quo
• Loss aversion
• Anchoring
• Endowment effect
• Confirmation
• Overconfidence

 When clients allow defense mechanisms and survival emotions to run the show, they tend to make decisions based on fear and bias. And the result is escalating conflict. 

The antidote to system 1 biases is values based decision making. It is impossible to ignore or eliminate our biases, but we can help clients tune into what's truly important to them, so they can make decisions based on intention- which is values based. This might be a great time to consider using either the Best Self or Personal Values Exercise with your clients. As Roy Disney says “It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are”.

Learn more about DCA™ or  any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Feeling uneasy about AI crowding into divorce work? We felt it too—so we sat down to map where technology actually helps and where only a trained human can do the job. From polished emails to calmer exchanges, AI can create a crucial pause. But growth doesn’t happen in a prompt; it happens when someone learns why they got triggered, how their conflict dance repeats, and what to do differently when the stakes are high.

We unpack the real distinction between outputs and capacity. Tools like ChatGPT or specialized mediation apps can reflect language back, suggest phrasing, and organize priorities. That can make mediation smoother and lower emotional heat. Still, readiness is not a checklist. ADR‑aligned divorce coaches assess power dynamics, spot coercive control, adapt when a client shuts down or floods, and coordinate with mediators and attorneys to protect meaningful participation. That’s relational, ethical, in‑the‑moment work—work that builds durable skills clients carry into co‑parenting, future negotiations, and new relationships.

Looking toward 2026, the field is shifting. Coaches who sell scripts or generic advice will feel replaceable. Coaches who anchor in behavior change, early dispute resolution, and measurable capacity building will thrive. We share practical ways to integrate AI as a supportive tool while staying squarely in the human lane: transferring skills, not just smoothing moments; creating sturdiness, not just calm copy; and saving families time, money, and unnecessary harm through true readiness. If you’re committed to high standards and future‑focused practice, this conversation will help you sharpen your role, refine your offer, and lead with clarity.

If this resonates, subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a review. Ready to level up? Our next ADR‑aligned divorce coaching certification begins January 11—join us at divorcecoachesacademy.com.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Marketing isn't just about getting your name out there in front of potential clients. You also need to make some big decisions about what products you're selling and for how much. In this week's episode, Tracy and Debra talk through some of the factors to consider when you are putting together your programs, packages, and pricing.

First things first...and that means speaking to your client's problem, their pain point. What are they struggling with and how can you help? Listen to the episode "You're a What? How to Effectively Describe What You Do As a Divorce Coach" for some tips on how to craft the specific language you can use to speak directly to your audience. These "problems" are the basis for your programs - or the types of services you offer.

Next, you'll need to decide what kind of commitment you're asking from your client - these are your packages. Because coaching is relationship based and action oriented, most coaches find that offering single sessions doesn't get the client results they're looking for. They prefer 3, 6 or 8 session packages. This allows for trust building, feedback loops, and real transformation. It also allows enough time to develop traction and results that keep the client engaged for a longer term.

Finally, there's pricing. Your individual pricing may be driven by a number of things, but primarily we find that geography and level of service are the primary considerations. If attorneys in your area charge $500/hr, then you may be able to charge more than someone who lives where attorney rates are $200/hr. And are you offering concierge level service where you are accessible at all times and for unlimited calls and texts or do you limit yourself to session times? You'll want to price accordingly and explain that to your clients.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

When the words “narcissist” or “toxic” hit the table, the conversation often derails. We take a different path—away from labels and toward behavior—so clients can make safer, smarter decisions during divorce without stepping into clinical territory. Tracy lays out a clear, ethical approach that validates harm, respects mental health needs, and keeps our work aligned with the dispute resolution standards that serve families best.

We explore the two truths that often coexist: some clients endure harmful, destabilizing behavior, and some are facing a spouse with legitimate mental health needs deserving compassion and dignity. Instead of reducing people to diagnoses, we examine what actually shows up in the process: escalation patterns, emotional regulation, reliability, responsiveness, and communication capacity. Through practical prompts—What does the behavior look like? When does it escalate? How does it affect your choices?—we convert emotional chaos into strategic clarity, boundaries, and safety plans.

We also tackle mediation viability as a functional, not clinical, question. Mediation requires predictability, transparency, and the willingness to repair communication ruptures; when those behaviors are absent, progress stalls regardless of labels. You’ll hear how to reframe inflammatory language, design behavior-based participation plans, and maintain professional boundaries that build trust across the ADR ecosystem. The result is a pragmatic, compassionate model that protects clients, preserves dignity on both sides, and elevates our field through clear roles and standards.

If the goal is durable agreements and healthier co-parenting, behavior must lead. 

Subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a review to help us spread ethical, ADR-aligned divorce coaching. 

And if you’re ready to go deeper, join our next ADR Divorce Coach Certification Cohort starting January 11, 2026 at DivorceCoachesAcademy.com.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Fair can feel like justice. In divorce, it often becomes a trap. In this episode, we sat down with attorney and managing partner Sara Marler to explore why “I just want what’s fair” derails strategy, inflates costs, and delays peace—and how a trauma-informed, whole-person approach helps clients pivot toward outcomes they can actually live with. Sara opens the curtain on what courts really weigh under standards like “just and equitable,” why judges prioritize clarity over grievance, and how stories of betrayal still matter when they are used to guide better decisions rather than to fuel a courtroom campaign.

Together, we map the gap between emotional fairness and legal reality, then show how to close it with reframing, education, and the right team. You’ll hear how validating a client’s experience builds trust, how divorce coaches reduce legal fees by handling the emotional heavy lifting, and why amicable and collaborative professionals consistently deliver faster, more sustainable results than “shark” tactics. We also talk practical tools—mindfulness, targeted parenting classes, curated resources—that help parents stop scorekeeping and design plans centered on children’s needs, not adult ego.

If you’re navigating separation or advising clients through it, this conversation offers a clear path from conflict to closure: focus on what you can control, choose resolution over vindication, and measure success by stability, not revenge. Divorce splits one household into two; it won’t look the same, and that’s okay. The goal is a livable outcome that protects your kids, your wallet, and your future self. 

Subscribe, share this episode and leave us a review to help others find us. 

To learn more about Sara visit her practice website at: https://marlerlawpartners.com/

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

What if the word “fair” is quietly keeping clients stuck? We dive into the emotional gravity of fairness and show how precise language, neutral validation, and clean reflection can move people from moral courtroom to practical resolution. Guest Evelyn Marley—DCA-certified ADR divorce coach and host of the Fight Less podcast—joins us to unpack how communication tools like silence, mirroring, and micro-reframes lower defensiveness and open pathways to agreement without erasing emotion.

In this episode, we explore the distinction between validating feelings and approving positions, and we tackle the confirmation bias that often sways even well-meaning professionals. You’ll hear how to translate fairness into interests and needs, keep the focus future-facing, and align choices with a client’s best-self vision. We talk through reality-testing, the power of asking “Is it true?”, and why strategic pauses can surface insights that scripted speeches can’t. Most importantly, we define “good enough” as a value-aligned, livable threshold—not a surrender—so clients can choose progress without betraying their core.

Along the way, we spotlight common language traps that entrench conflict and offer practical prompts you can use today: clarifying what “fair” means to the client, reflecting small shifts that build momentum, and inviting clients to say the unsaid in a safe space. Conflict communication is a learnable skill, and when you change the words, you change the trajectory. 

Ready to trade fairness debates for better outcomes? Subscribe, share this podcast episode with a colleague, and leave a review.

About Evelyn:

Evelyn Marley is DCA® certified divorce and communication coach who helps people handle hard conversations by reframing conflict. Evelyn draws from mediation training, divorce coaching, and communication studies and her work centers on awareness, boundaries, repair, and language that lowers defensiveness and escalation.

She is also the host of the Fight(Less) Podcast, where she interviews experts who help people transform and use conflict management as a skill for repair, growth and deeper connection even during life's difficult challenges. 

How to reach Evelyn:
Email: reframingconflict@gmail.com
Website: https://www.evelynmarleycoaching.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evelynmarley/
Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5UZZMzwtPVGc1WeinCcDY9?si=883fa51bbafe4a6c

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Fair feels righteous, but it quietly keeps so many divorces stuck. We pull back the curtain on why “I just want what’s fair” becomes a trap and how a resolution-focused approach creates momentum, protects your energy, and ends conflict sooner. Instead of treating divorce like a moral tribunal, we frame it as a structured exit from a shared legal, financial, and parenting arrangement—one that rewards clear thinking and workable agreements over symbolic victories.

We start by separating two often-blurred ideas: fairness is an evaluation; resolution is a process. That single distinction changes the questions you ask and the outcomes you reach. You’ll hear how fairness multiplies objections, turns every proposal into a referendum on the past, and collapses time horizons. Then we lay out the resolution metrics that actually matter in mediation and negotiation: durability, conflict exposure, ease of implementation, and long-term autonomy. These criteria help you choose options you may not love but can accept—and acceptance is what unlocks closure.

A composite client story brings the shift to life. This is the quiet stall many reasonable people fall into: no yelling, just months of evaluation through a fairness lens. The breakthrough happens with one core question—what happens if you keep negotiating for fairness? Mapping real costs across time, money, emotional bandwidth, and co‑parenting reveals the truth: fairness isn’t producing relief. Resolution can. We also take on emotional justice head-on. Divorce processes don’t deliver moral verdicts; they deliver exit strategies. Healing belongs in therapy and community, not in your settlement terms.

If you’re a professional, we show how ADR-aligned divorce coaching teaches decision literacy and helps clients tolerate imperfect outcomes in service of a livable future. If you’re navigating your own divorce, you’ll leave with practical language, sharper filters, and a redefined vision of success: less escalation, greater stability, and fewer future flashpoints—especially for families with children. 

Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway so we can keep building smarter, resolution-centered tools for you.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

The phrase “I just want this over with” shows up every December like clockwork. Tracy unpacks why that sentence is both deeply human and a vital signal that capacity is low—and why mistaking urgency for readiness can derail agreements, parenting plans, and trust long after the paperwork is signed.

We map how the holidays act as a compression chamber: emotional labor spikes, financial realities surface, and the symbolic reset of January creates an internal deadline that feels like clarity but is really fatigue. From an ADR lens, speed can look like competence while quietly shifting costs to the back end—where resentment, post-decree litigation, and co-parenting friction explode once the fog lifts. Tracy walks through a familiar case pattern: late-night “agreements” struck under strain that later collapse under scrutiny, not because people lied, but because they were buying relief, not building sustainability.

Then we get practical. You’ll hear the coaching moves that stabilize high-pressure moments: separating what feels urgent from what is, sequencing decisions instead of collapsing them, and pausing when regulation is low. We dig into language discipline—avoiding finality words that cement premature decisions—and show how to reframe early alignment as provisional so clients enter negotiation with flexibility, curiosity, and informed consent. The theme is simple and hard: readiness is capacity, not a feeling. Our job is to absorb urgency without amplifying it and to protect the process so January’s volume doesn’t masquerade as clarity.

If you work in divorce and family dispute resolution, this is your recalibration for “divorce month.” January doesn’t need faster divorces; it needs steadier professionals who treat “I just want this over with” as a cue to slow the pace, expand perspective, and build outcomes that hold. Listen, share with a colleague who needs this reminder, and if the episode helped you lead with steadiness, subscribe and leave a review so more practitioners can find it.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Catchy title, huh? This week we're not discussing the pros and cons of whether you and your clients use colorful language in session, we are talking about being mindful of the language we use and the impact it can have on the coaching experience for clients.

One of the main goals of coaching is to help your client self-discover their own goals and priorities so they can make decisions that are right for them. They likely have a lot of people around them telling them what to do. When we use phrases like "I think", "I believe", or "You should",  we become just another one of those voices.  It takes the spotlight off of them and puts it on you as the authority. Resist the urge to tell, and reframe those as powerful questions to help the client determine their own path.

In the interest of showing empathy, we often hear coaches say "I understand". And while that may seem validating, we run the risk of minimizing their unique feelings and experiences when we say that. Clients want to feel heard and understood, but they also want to feel special. We challenge you to find ways to validate them and say "I hear you" while respecting that no one else (even if you've had a similar experience) feels what they feel.

And finally, let's avoid making promises we may not be able to keep. While it's tempting to want to reassure clients with "It's going to be OK" or "You're going to be fine", we don't know that we can deliver that.  And your definition of "OK" may be very different from your client's. It is much more accurate to say that you'll be with them on every step of the way or you'll be their biggest supporter and encourager.

Next time you're in session, be mindful of these and other phrases that could negatively affect your client's ability to get the most value of your relationship.


 You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

When alcohol concerns collide with custody arrangements, families need more than good intentions—they need accountability. Laura Crossett joins the Divorce Coaches Academy podcast to reveal how Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring system transforms high-conflict co-parenting situations into manageable, child-centered arrangements.

Laura brings rare insight as both a recovery professional and former monitored client herself. "I saw firsthand the drastic improvement in my family relationships," she shares, explaining how objective test data eliminated the need for accusations or defensiveness. Her 18-year recovery journey and decade of experience with Soberlink technology offer authentic perspective on rebuilding trust between separated parents.

The conversation explores how Soberlink works—a portable breathalyzer with built-in identity verification through digital photography, providing court-admissible, tamper-proof results in real time. What makes this technology particularly valuable is its ability to shift the dialogue away from addiction labels toward practical child safety. Rather than demanding lifelong sobriety, the system simply asks: "Can you commit to being alcohol-free during your parenting time?" This approach reduces stigma while keeping focus where it belongs—on children's wellbeing.

Perhaps most powerfully, Soberlink creates pathways for children to maintain relationships with both parents when drinking concerns might otherwise limit contact. For concerned parents, it offers freedom from hypervigilance and constant worry. "You can actually do something fun for yourself instead of worry," Laura notes, highlighting how the technology allows both parents to be more present and emotionally available.

Recognizing financial accessibility matters, Laura details the Family Assistance Program and new device rental options that make monitoring more affordable across different income levels. For divorce coaches, family law attorneys and parents navigating this challenging territory, Soberlink represents more than technology—it's a neutral third party that verifies compliance, eliminates accusations, and helps families move forward with confidence.

Are you a DCA certified divorce coach? Ask us about the Soberlink-DCA Affiliate program

Visit the Soberlink website: www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

DCA is constantly growing to serve you better. In this episode, we highlight a few recent changes that offer even more ways to connect with each other. Check out your DCA student dashboard for more information.

Student Community
Each cohort in the process of studying to become certified ADR divorce coaches is being given access to a free online space to connect with their class and other students. It is automatically available after you enroll in the course.

Alumni Community
Every coach who has been certified through DCA is now part of a free online alumni community where you can post questions, collaborate, or share resources. This includes all graduates of our ADRDC, DCC, PMDC and CCDC courses.

Case Consult Community
All coaches participating in the Case Consultation and Mastermind Group have access to a dedicated community space to interact on a more frequent basis.

Lunch & Learn Events
DCA is launching a free monthly series of learning events for all members of our alumni community.
- 2nd Wed of each month is the Business Builder series focused on helping new-ish coaches get clients and start their practices..
- 4th Wed of each month is the Practice Accelerator series which will include advanced topics of interest to those with established businesses who are looking to continue their education.

Mobile App
And don't forget that DCA is now available on the Thinkific (our learning platform) mobile app. Just download the app, search for Divorce Coaches Academy and log in using the same credentials you use for the web version. Now you can take DCA and all your courses and communities on the go.
Apple App Store
Google Play Store


We hope you'll take advantage of these new opportunities to network, learn, and grow.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Periodically, we want to bring you insights from other successful, practicing divorce coaching professionals to expand the conversation . We're so excited to bring you our very first spotlight coach interview today.   

Today's guest, Andrea Hipps, LBSW, is a Certified Divorce Coach® and author who helps parents all along the divorce continuum resolve their divorce debris and create beautiful two-address families for their kids. She's the author of the internationally bestselling book The Best Worst Time of Your Life: Four Practices to Get You Through the Pain of Divorce, which outlines the four practices you need to create wholeness and healing for you and your kids before, during, and after divorce. As a regular contributor to our nation’s divorce recovery conversation, she's been featured on NBC, ABC, FOX and the CW discussing how we can do divorce better for the sake of ourselves and our families.

Tracy and Andrea focus on the topic of divorce debris and why it's so critical for those thinking about entering the field of divorce coaching to wait until their hearts and their wisdom can catch up with their passion . As Andrea so aptly states, "We can only lead people as far as we've grown".

We're not in the business to create "mini-me's" or to "save" clients from having a divorce experience like we did. We're here to be curious and help them self-discover the best options for their own families and their own lives. Divorce coaches need to have enough space and healing from our own experiences  to support clients from a neutral perspective.

As Debra often says, "We must coach from our scar, not from our wound". Listen through to the end to learn how taking the garbage out every morning keeps Andrea "debris free".


You can find Andrea all over at the following links:
Website: https://www.andreahippsdivorcecoach.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreahippsdivorcecoach/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andreahippsdivorcecoach/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrea-hipps-certified-divorce-coach-lbsw-56374058/
Get her Book "The Best Worst Time of Your Life": https://www.amazon.com/Best-Worst-Time-Your-Life-ebook/dp/B08TP6XWBN

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

What can a children's fairy tale possibly teach us about divorce? As it turns out, quite a lot. The story of the Three Little Pigs offers a surprisingly perfect framework for understanding how different approaches to divorce preparation yield dramatically different outcomes.

Some clients rush through their divorce process, making quick, reactive decisions—building with "straw." They might retain the most aggressive attorney they can find out of anger or fear, or just try to "get it over with" because they're exhausted. Others put in a bit more effort—the "stick" builders—talking to lawyers, downloading checklists, maybe reading a book or two. But they often miss the deeper emotional preparation, conflict pattern awareness, and values clarification that truly matters.

The wisest approach? Building with "bricks"—taking time to assess the landscape, understand the risks, and plan for resilience. This means assembling the right team (attorney, financial specialist, therapist, and yes, a divorce coach), getting clear on values and goals, developing communication skills, and learning emotional regulation. When the inevitable "wolf" comes—whether that's court conflict, custody challenges, or financial hurdles—this brick foundation stands strong.

As divorce coaches, we help clients slow down and shift from crisis thinking to strategic planning. We serve as the quarterback of their professional team, helping them engage the right specialists at the right time in the most effective ways. We aren't just offering emotional support (though that matters too); we're strategists, thinking partners, and often the only person in their life who sees the whole picture rather than just one component.

The difference between merely getting through a divorce and going through it well lies in this brick-by-brick approach—intentional, informed, and aligned with long-term wellbeing. When you work with clients who are panicking, remember the pigs. Are you helping them rush toward a straw solution, or are you guiding them to build something that will truly protect them when the winds of change start blowing?

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com