Neurodivergent Nook

Neurodivergent Nook Ep20: Finding out about my ADHD

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 27 Oct 2026 07:00:00 GMT

Helen and Diane welcome their first ever guest, Sarah Ellis. She is the Artistic Director of Theatre Inspiring Change and was diagnosed with ADHD late in life. Sarah describes how she began to wonder about ADHD around 18 months ago, after her daughter asked whether she was sure she didn't have it. Looking back, she sees how many of her lifelong traits she had put down to something else. She also talks about rejection sensitivity, the "you're bright but you don't apply yourself" story she grew up with, and the difficulty of everyday admin. Sarah then describes how the diagnosis gave her a sense of relief, and the permission to be kinder to herself and fierce on her own behalf. This is the first part of the conversation.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook
Sarah: Hyperfusion (Facebook)

Come Neurodivergent Nook us on social media too:

Highlights

Sarah's daughter asked whether she was sure she didn't have ADHD. A rehearsal room full of her colleagues burst out laughing at the idea.
Sarah spends working life spotting neurodivergence in others and not herself
The "square peg" feeling, the manic performer's energy, the crashes afterwards, sleep problems and a weak memory for childhood were all once put down to getting older, depression or trauma.
Sarah describes how rejection hits her, and how being a class clown helped her compensate.
Now she has a diagnosis, Sarah is going to ask whether some of what she was treated for as depression was actually burnout.
Sarah got through years of "just try harder" messages. She has built a business from nothing, yet still finds spreadsheets and holiday booking overwhelming.
Diane and Helen talk about how we fixate on the one thing we can't do and overlook everything we do well.
The group discusses the fear and freeze that come with one more task.
Sarah is fiercely protective of other people. The diagnosis helped her turn that same fierceness on herself.
Sarah ran a session at her youth academy on embracing the weird, and diagnosis gave her permission to stop talking negatively.

Timeline

01:03 Sarah introduces herself and her work
01:34 How Sarah first wondered about ADHD
02:10 Her daughter's question, and rehearsal room reaction
04:14 Working with neurodivergent people but never seeing it in herself
05:17 Looking back: "square peg" feelings / humour
06:36 Performer energy, adrenaline & crashes afterwards
09:13 Rejection sensitivity and compensating as the class clown
11:04 Emotions "like a 10-ton truck"
11:34 "Bright but you didn't apply yourself"
12:14 Spreadsheets, holiday booking and overwhelm
13:14 Building a business from nothing
14:22 We tell ourselves the negative story
15:03 Paralysis of tasks
17:17 Fierce protectiveness & standing up for others
19:31 Being fierce for yourself
20:02 Embracing "weirdo" with the young people's academy
21:08 A strong sense of injustice & idealism
21:42 Sign-off and next week's

Neurodivergent Nook Ep19: Unmasking

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 20 Oct 2026 06:00:00 GMT

Unmasking, safety, and becoming more authentically yourself

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer discuss unmasking in a neurodivergent context, focusing on what it looks like in everyday life and why it can feel both liberating and difficult. They explore the mental health cost of masking, the importance of safe environments, and the growing confidence that comes from better understanding your own needs. Helen brings her perspective as an autistic ADHD therapist, and Diane shares her experience as an autistic ADHD former headteacher, foster carer, coach, and tutor to neurodivergent teenagers. Together, they talk honestly about identity, regulation, and the slow process of feeling safe enough to show up more fully.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

Key topics

Helen and Diane unpack what unmasking means beyond general idea of “being yourself” & why it can take time, diagnosis, & self-understanding.
Diane shares how leaving her role as a headteacher marked the start of her own unmasking journey
Discussing visible changes that can come with unmasking, including Diane’s more expressive style, dreadlocks, tattoos, glitter, and a willingness to wear what feels joyful.
Helen introduces the idea of a “fuck it era,” reframing unmasking as choosing what feels right if it causes no harm to others.
Hidden cost of masking for neurodivergent people, especially anxiety, imposter syndrome, overthinking, and scripting.
How direct communication can be misread as rude, creating an added layer of social risk and making unmasking harder in workplaces.
Diane describes how unmasking might show up at home through singing, humming, making up songs, and other forms of stimming.
Connecting masking and unmasking to sensory needs, including texture preferences, food sensitivities, and bodily regulation.
They reflect on how unmasking shifts the focus from everyone else’s needs to one’s own needs, without ignoring others, and how that can feel unfamiliar but healthy.
The episode closes on the idea that progress can be gradual, safe, and even exciting, both guests acknowledging that unmasking can bring relief, grief, and confidence at the same time.

Timestamps

00:27 - Introducing the episode and the focus on unmasking
00:42 - Diane’s background as an autistic ADHD former headteacher and current coach
00:57 - Moving from masking to more conscious unmasking
01:26 - What unmasking means in practice
05:27 - The “fuck it era” and choosing self-expression
07:16 - Mental health cost of masking
08:06 - Anxiety, imposter syndrome, and social scripting
10:03 - Why safety matters before unmasking
10:30 - Direct communication, workplace expectations, and double empathy problem
11:27 - The exhaustion of second-guessing every word
12:17 - Working for yourself and creating safer conditions
13:01 - Unmasking at home through singing and stimming
14:30 - Why finding private space matters
17:02 - Prioritizing your own needs without ignoring others
18:28 - Realizing your needs matter too
20:17 - Any progress is good progress

Neurodivergent Nook Ep18: Animals and Neurodivergence

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 13 Oct 2026 06:00:00 GMT

Neurodivergence and Animals: Therapy, Regulation, and Joy

This episode explores how animals can support neurodivergent people through co regulation, calm presence, and connection. Diane and Helen Neal, both autistic and ADHD, discuss what they have seen in schools, coaching, and therapy, from dogs in classrooms to goats, horses, and farm animals in regulated settings.We discuss how animals can help children, young people, and adults feel safer, more settled, and more able to connect without pressure. The conversation also highlights the importance of whole school culture, animal wellbeing, and the way animals can bring out autistic joy.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

Key topics

Diane introduces the episode as a conversation about neurodivergence and connections with animals, drawing on her work as a foster carer and coach for neurodivergent teenagers.
Helen shares that she is a qualified therapist with lived experience as an autistic and ADHD adult, bringing both clinical and personal perspective.
Helen explains co regulation and how animals can offer a calm, regulated presence that supports nervous system regulation.
Diane describes bringing her dog Ebony into school as headteacher, including how the dog became part of daily routines and supported anxious pupils.
Whole school approaches come up repeatedly, including the role of staff, parents, leadership, and school culture in making animal support work well.
Diane shares how animals are now built into her coaching, including weekly dog walks with a teenager and using goats as part of animal therapy.
Helen raises the role of horses and supported therapy for autistic people and those with higher support needs, with Diane sharing a moving story about a boy with level 3 autism who came alive around farm animals and a pony ride.

Timestamps

(00:00) Introducing the episode & Diane's work with neurodivergent young people
(01:06) Helen Neal's background as a therapist with autistic and ADHD lived experience
(02:05) Animal assisted therapy and therapy dogs in schools and universities
(04:31) Ebony the cockapoo and how a school dog supported anxious children
(06:52) Matching the animal to the client's needs and using the dog's calm presence in therapy
(07:36) Animals as a way to build trust, responsibility, and emotional expression
(08:23) Why animal support works best as a whole school approach
(09:09) Forest school, holistic practice, and dog walks as part of coaching
(10:02) Goats as therapy animals and the value of cuddles and proprioception
(10:39) Safe, quiet animal spaces for neurodivergent people who need comfort without questioning
(11:03) Horses and more supported therapy for autistic people and higher support needs
(11:28) A farm visit, a pony ride, and a child with level 3 autism communicating clearly through action
(12:46) The power of autistic joy & calm regulation around animals
(14:18) Belonging, connection, and why animals can be a meaningful form of relationship
(15:20) Closing thoughts and the end of the episode

Neurodivergent Nook Ep17: What's in a Label - Part 2

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 06 Oct 2026 06:00:00 GMT

What’s in a Label? — Part Two

In Part Two, Diane and Helen explore how diagnostic labels can shape understanding, access to support, and self-perception. They reflect on family experiences of schizophrenia and autism, the limits of diagnosis-led systems, and the role of self-compassion in living with neurodivergence.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

In this episode

Personal reflections on schizophrenia, autism, and missed diagnoses across generations
Why a diagnosis can open doors to support—but is not support in itself
The impact labels can have on identity, self-image, and expectations
The pressure schools and families face to secure formal diagnoses
Balancing self-awareness, compassion, resilience, and learned helplessness

Timestamps

00:01 — Introduction: returning to the conversation about labels and schizophrenia
00:32 — Diane reflects on her uncle’s diagnosis and childhood memories
02:21 — How understandings of autism, ADHD, and schizophrenia have changed
03:01 — Why diagnosis needs to come with meaningful, joined-up support
03:35 — The gap between receiving a diagnosis and getting help
04:02 — “What do I do with this now?”: being handed a diagnosis without a pathway
04:24 — The personal and systemic complexity of diagnostic labels
05:11 — Looking beyond diagnosis: context, power, and individual experience
06:13 — Changing needs, fluctuating capacity, and a more holistic approach
06:43 — Schools, funding, and why families feel pressure to pursue diagnosis
07:28 — When a diagnosis becomes tied to access to the right provision
08:00 — Seeing the person beyond the list of labels
09:39 — Late diagnosis, masking, regression, and learned helplessness
10:39 — Self-awareness and self-compassion without pushing beyond capacity
11:29 — Does a diagnosis make it easier to offer yourself compassion?
12:22 — Challenging unrealistic expectations around memory and productivity
13:36 — Resilience, creativity, and recognising strengths alongside challenges
14:01 — Closing reflections and farewell

Neurodivergent Nook Ep16: What's in a Label - Part 1

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 29 Sep 2026 06:00:00 GMT

What’s in a Label? — Part One

In Part One, Helen and Diane explore why diagnostic labels can be both helpful and harmful. They discuss how labels may give people language for their experiences and help open the door to support, while also inviting assumptions about what someone can or cannot do. Using examples from schools, late diagnosis, emotional regulation, and family experience, they argue that support should begin with listening to the person rather than relying on a diagnosis alone. The conversation also considers the stigma attached to schizophrenia and psychosis, the fear that can grow when people lack understanding, and the importance of language, identity, and compassion when talking about neurodivergence and mental health.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

Timestamps — Part One
00:00 Welcome and introducing the conversation about diagnoses and labels
00:35 Labels as useful information, but also a source of stigma and assumptions
02:36 How labels can affect young people’s experiences at school
05:21 The importance of asking people what support they actually need
06:01 Why diagnoses cannot fully define an individual’s needs
08:15 Fluctuating needs, emotional regulation, and lived experience
09:20 Stigma, schizophrenia, psychosis, and reducing fear through understanding
10:30 Media narratives and the harm of assumption
13:00 Identity, language, and changing attitudes to diagnosis
13:42 Closing Part One

Coming in Part Two Helen and Diane continue their conversation about diagnoses and labels, returning to the questions of identity, language, understanding, and support.

Neurodivergent Nook Ep15: Selfcare looks different for everyone

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 22 Sep 2026 06:00:00 GMT

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer unpack what selfcare actually means for neurodivergent kids adults, and how rest can look different. Covering rest, sensory regulation and advocacy too.

Connect:

Helen: Neurodivergent Nook
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting

Key Topics:

What selfcare means

Diane describes self-care as something she knows she should do more of, rooted in self-compassion and prioritising herself.
Helen frames it as understanding your own needs rather than adopting a generic definition.

Why rest looks different for NDers

Diane explains that active experiences like sea swimming can be deeply regulating and restorative.
Helen shares that sitting still does not feel like rest to her, while learning about passions and special interests does.

Burnout, sleep & survival mode

Diane talks honestly about poor sleep, early waking, and using short morning naps just to get through the day.
Discussion draws a clear line between genuine restoration and coping.

Passions as selfcare

Helen notes working within her special interests is a privilege, also a major source of regulation.
She stresses the need to notice when something restorative starts tipping into burnout.

Sensory selfcare

Both speakers discuss walking as a form of selfcare, especially when it is intentional and not just a route for problem-solving.
Helen shares how sensory elements like wet grass and open-toed sandals can make a walk feel restorative.

Self care as a spoken commitment

Saying “this is for me” out loud is presented as a powerful act of self-acknowledgement.
Diane compares it to giving yourself a smile or high five in the mirror.

Social rest and belonging

Diane reflects on a walk with her husband and goats as a different kind of rest, social not solitary.
Helen points out that rest can also mean feeling safe, connected, and socially supported.

Children needing rest and energy

The conversation shifts to how school and family life often leave children with too little choice and too little downtime.
Helen argues that learning what restores your energy is an essential life skill.

Support for young people to advocate

Diane shares coaching example of a student given an hour of maths homework after a full school day, which the student knew was unmanageable.
Young people need support to advocate about executive function and attention needs.

School systems and unfair punishment

Critique of schools punishing behaviour that is part of disability.
Diane and Helen emphasise compassionate environments and better advocacy.

Timestamps

00:00 Intro

01:42 The Challenge of Prioritizing Self-Care

3:32 Different Types of Rest and Their Significance

05:22 Active and Sensory Rest as Restorative Activities

07:12 Recognizing Signs of Burnout and the Need for Breaks

08:40 The Power of Small Acts of Self-Care

10:27 The Role of Environment and Sensory Experiences

12:17 Supporting Children and Advocating for Needs

13:53 Educational environments and systemc challenges

15:59 Self advocacy and systemic change

17:57 Closing Remarks and Resources

Neurodivergent Nook Ep14: Navigating Relationships and Friendships

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 28 Jul 2026 06:00:00 GMT

In this episode of the Neurodivergent Nook podcast, Helen and Diane explore the complexities of friendship, social understanding, and relationship building from the perspective of neurodivergent adults. They share personal experiences, challenges, and insights on finding authentic connections, understanding social cues, and developing trust. Whether you're navigating relationships yourself or supporting neurodivergent loved ones, this conversation offers valuable reflections and practical advice.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

Key topics:

Social struggles faced during childhood & how masking influences relationships
Concept of "double empathy problem" & mutual understanding in friendships
Importance of authenticity & vulnerability in forming meaningful connections
Recognizing and trusting your intuition and gut feelings in relationships
Building a support network and finding your tribe, especially post-university or after challenging relationships
Practical advice for teenagers and young adults on safety, boundaries, and trusting oneself
The significance of understanding different communication styles within friendships and romantic relationships

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction to the episode’s focus on friendships and social challenges
01:50 - The exhausting nature of masking and navigating social expectations
02:18 - Impact of social masking and the absence of clear social guidelines
03:10 - Challenges schools faced with neurodivergent students before awareness and training
04:17 - Communication differences and the effect of bluntness on friendships
04:34 - Importance of mutual understanding in comms
05:24 - "Double empathy problem" and need for reciprocal understanding
06:09 - Building authentic relationships by being honest about neurodivergence
07:24 - The value of finding your tribe and role of shared neurodivergent experiences
08:07 - The importance of connection in university and early adult life
09:18 - The long-term effects of diagnosis and importance of belonging
10:31 - Trust and boundaries in friendships, especially for neurodivergent individuals
11:04 - Recognizing the difference between acquaintances and true friends
12:14 - People-pleasing driven by neurodivergence & trauma
15:00 - Recognizing toxic relationships and the importance of safety in relationships
16:19 - Trusting instincts / recognising unhealthy relationships
19:23 - Practical advice for teenagers on safety, boundaries, and trusting instincts
21:14 - The significance of self-worth and not settling for unhealthy relationships
22:24 - Listening to internal cues and safety feelings, especially for neurodivergent teens
24:46 - The role of trusted friends and familial support in overcoming relationship challenges
26:11 - Closing thoughts: trusting oneself and advocating for support

Closing note:

Remember, trusting your instincts, seeking support, and understanding your worth are vital steps towards healthy relationships. If you’re navigating similar challenges, know that you're not alone, and support is available.

Neurodivergent Nook Ep13: Autism, ADHD and Menopause from women

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 21 Jul 2026 06:00:00 GMT

Explore the intersection of menopause, autism, ADHD, and neurodivergence in this candid conversation between Helen Neal and Diane Franer. They share personal experiences, discuss the gaps in research, and offer practical advice for neurodivergent women facing hormonal changes.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

In this episode

The impact of menopause on neurodivergent traits like focus and emotional regulation
Challenges in communication and medical support for neurodivergent women during menopause
The importance of self-compassion and understanding your body's signals
How hormonal fluctuations influence anxiety, fatigue, and brain fog
The need for increased research and awareness about women's health across the lifespan
Practical tips: sleep, pacing, and advocating for yourself, and
Encouraging open conversations with family and peers

Research on menopause and neurodivergence

Examining the link between ADHD symptoms and menopausal experiences:

https://kclpure.kcl.ac.uk/portal/en/publications/examining-the-link-between-adhd-symptoms-and-menopausal-experienc/

ADHD experiences in perimenopause and menopause: a qualitative exploration

https://www-tandfonline-com.uoelibrary.idm.oclc.org/doi/full/10.1080/18387357.2026.2673126

My own article on my personal experiences as a AuDHDer:

https://ncps.com/our-voice/audhd-perimenopause-and-the-coping-mechanisms-that-suddenly-dont-work

Timestamps
00:05 - Introduction to menopause and neurodivergence
01:04 - Neurodivergent traits affected by hormonal changes
02:04 - The gap in clinical discussions about neurodivergence during menopause
04:00 - Personal diagnosis stories linked to menopause
04:27 - Managing emotional regulation and anxiety
05:33 - Seeking medical advice and advocating for HRT
06:23 - The challenge of supporting neurodivergent health needs
08:00 - The importance of self-advocacy with healthcare professionals
08:54 - Practical coping strategies: pacing and rest
09:54 - Recognizing and normalizing menopausal symptoms
12:23 - Accessibility of menopause support (specialist clinics)
14:21 - The impact of brain fog and forgetfulness
15:37 - Self-compassion and accepting neurodivergent traits
16:40 - The importance of community and peer support
18:35 - How biological and hormonal changes affect daily life
21:38 - Celebrating resilience and everyday achievements
23:19 - Importance of open family conversations
24:06 - Education in schools about menopause
25:08 - Call for increased research and awareness
26:03 - Closing remarks and resources

Neurodivergent Nook Ep12: Procrastination - Why is Starting so Hard

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 14 Jul 2026 06:00:00 GMT

In this episode, Helen and Diane explore the intricate relationship between procrastination and neurodivergence, highlighting practical strategies to better support ourselves and others. Their candid discussion offers insight into the emotional and executive function challenges faced by autistic and ADHD adults.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

Key Topics Covered:

The emotional rollercoaster of procrastination, including the role of adrenaline and dopamine in motivation
How creating self-imposed deadlines can sometimes backfire, leading to more stress and less productivity
The significance of task breakdowns, and why small, manageable tasks help overcome overwhelm
The impact of task aversion, such as avoiding phone calls or chores, and personalized coping strategies
Creative solutions like gamification and body doubling to boost task initiation
The importance of self-compassion and understanding that procrastination is a natural neurodivergent trait
The role of environmental modifications and support systems in facilitating task start and completion
Challenging standard expectations for children and adults with neurodivergence and advocating for tailored support

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction to procrastination and neurodivergence challenges
00:55 - The difficulty of starting big tasks and feeling overwhelmed
01:28 - Dopamine hits and breaking down tasks into manageable steps
01:53 - The adrenaline rush near deadlines and motivation
02:07 - Why we need pressure to initiate tasks
02:29 - Creating self-imposed deadlines and their effectiveness 03:11 - The role of neurotransmitters like dopamine in executive functioning
03:39 - Diary methods and realistic planning challenges 04:02 - Overambitious to-do lists and self-criticism
04:28 - Personal motivation for work-related tasks vs personal tasks
06:13 - The "ADHD tax" and financial consequences of procrastination
06:24 - Prioritization and interest-based task motivation
06:49 - Distractions and time management in daily life
07:07 - The limitations of lists and reliance on mental tracking
08:17 - Body doubling and the importance of social support
08:37 - Task boredom and difficulty with mundane chores
09:56 - The emotional weight of procrastination and self-criticism
11:49 - Creative strategies like delegating or gamifying tasks
12:15 - The benefits of helping others to motivate oneself
13:14 - The importance of immediate rewards in maintaining motivation
13:24 - Treating oneself to special breaks or outings
15:05 - How shared responsibilities can ease procrastination
16:33 - The messages we tell ourselves about laziness and worth
17:00 - Task switching as a core challenge in procrastination
18:32 - Supporting children with executive function challenges
20:03 - Supporting neurodivergent children with tailored scaffolding
20:37 - The importance of understanding and patience from adults
21:05 - Challenging societal expectations around productivity
22:09 - The systemic pressures in educational settings and support gaps

Neurodivergent Nook Ep11: Proprioception and Why you Struggle with Spatial Awareness

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 07 Jul 2026 06:00:00 GMT

Proprioception and neurodivergence: Understanding your position in the world

In this episode of Neurodivergent Nook, Helen and Diane explore the often overlooked sense of proprioception—the body's awareness of its position and movement. They discuss real-life experiences, sensory challenges in daily routines, and practical insights for supporting neurodivergent individuals in various settings.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

Main Topics Covered

What is proprioception and how does it differ among individuals
Personal stories of proprioceptive challenges, including driving and movement
Sensory regulation strategies, like hugging, body scans, and barefoot grounding
The impact of proprioceptive differences in school environments and workspaces
Practical tips for respecting bodily autonomy through permission and sensory support

In this episode

Helen shares her difficulties with spatial awareness and driving, highlighting how proprioceptive differences affect safety and confidence
Diane discusses her experiences with sensory regulation, including outdoor vs indoor sensory input
They emphasize the importance of asking permission before touch and tailoring sensory activities to individual needs
Examples of effective accommodations, such as sensory breaks and inclusive design in workplaces
The significance of body awareness practices for emotional regulation and sleep

Timestamps

00:00 - Introduction to proprioception & relevance for neurodivergent individuals
00:37 - Helen introduces personal proprioceptive challenges, especially in driving
02:13 - Driving anxiety linked to proprioceptive disconnects; learning to navigate edges
03:37 - Comparing personal experiences with driving success after practice
05:36 - How sensory sensitivities impact everyday tasks, like parking and crowded spaces
06:39 - Differences in indoor versus outdoor sensory responses, and managing crowds
07:34 - Importance of physical contact, like hugs, in regulation and consent
08:40 - Supporting children and adults with proprioceptive needs through gentle input
09:20 - Respecting boundaries and autonomy during sensory activities
10:04 - Risks of uninvited touch for neurodivergent people
12:02 - Impact of school routines on proprioceptive regulation and behavior
13:24 - "One size doesn't fit all" approach to sensory breaks in education
14:14 - How unregulated sensory systems influence behavior
15:03 - Creative workplace accommodations
16:09 - Simple sensory self-care practices, such as grounding barefoot and body scans
18:13 - Practical grounding techniques to calm the nervous system before sleep
19:06 - The importance of footwear choices and sensory-friendly environments in schools
20:06 - Advocating for greater understanding and accommodation of proprioceptive needs
21:13 - Final tips: listening to our body / respecting sensory boundaries
21:46 - Closing thoughts on sensory awareness / neurodivergence

Neurodivergent Nook Ep10: Understanding Guilt and Shame

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 30 Jun 2026 06:00:00 GMT

Understanding Guilt and Shame as Neurodivergent People

In this episode of Neurodivergent Look, Helen and Diane explore the complex emotions of guilt and shame, especially through the lens of neurodivergence. They share personal stories and professional perspectives, uncovering how these feelings manifest in everyday life and strategies to foster self-compassion.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

Key Topics Covered:

The difference between guilt and shame and how they show up in neurodivergent experiences
Personal anecdotes illustrating daily feelings of guilt regarding parenting, work deadlines, and social expectations
The impact of perfectionism and the unrealistic pursuit of doing everything perfectly
How childhood experiences and societal expectations intensify feelings of guilt and shame
The role of understanding one's neurodivergent diagnosis in managing emotional responses
The importance of self-compassion and therapeutic work in healing chronic shame
Recognizing and navigating feelings of guilt in professional settings, including public speaking
The long-term effects of guilt and shame stemming from childhood and caregiving roles
Strategies for fostering emotional regulation and resilience through awareness and education

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction to guilt vs. shame and their significance
01:13 - How guilt and shame manifest in professional roles as neurodivergent individuals
02:36 - Small daily guilt triggers: parenting and responsibilities
04:21 - Childhood roots of guilt and societal commentary
05:21 - Impact of perfectionism on feelings of guilt
06:20 - Challenging unrealistic standards and being kinder to oneself
07:40 - Pressure of performance and fears of failure in leadership roles
09:10 - Understanding misunderstandings and social norm differences
10:29 - Recalling childhood experiences of guilt and anxiety
11:33 - Discomfort of social judgment and public speaking
13:07 - Guilt of saying no and setting boundaries
14:07 - Difficulty of exposure and vulnerability in presentations
15:00 - Guilt related to childhood trauma and the role of caregiving in neurodivergence
16:43 - Parenting guilt and managing day-to-day interactions positively
17:04 - Imperfection in parenting and self-forgiveness
18:10 - Experiences of guilt among foster children and their lifelong impact
19:53 - Importance of therapy and support for healing childhood guilt
21:18 - Reflection on childhood responsibilities and their effects into adulthood
23:38 - The significance of awareness and understanding trauma and emotional triggers
24:28 - Recognizing sensory and exposure anxiety as sources of guilt
25:51 - The journey of self-compassion and emotional regulation
27:01 - Managing chronic shame and internal self-rejection
28:22 - The process of therapeutic insight and perspective shift
30:01 - Unpacking intense feelings with safe, compassionate space
31:11 - Role of societal and familial trauma in shaping guilt and shame
32:40 - Encouragement for ongoing self-awareness and seeking support

Neurodivergent Nook Ep9: Neurodivergent Self-Compassion

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 06:00:00 GMT

Lightning Guide to Self-Compassion for Neurodivergent Mind

This final episode in season 1, dives into the nuances of self-compassion from lived experience of neurodivergent individuals. Diane and Helen explore practical ways to nurture kindness inward, especially for those with autism and ADHD, emphasising the power of awareness, visualisation and neuroplasticity.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

Key Topics:

The difference between self-care and self-compassion
How neurodivergent conditions influence self-talk and self-criticism
Practical strategies: mindfulness, sensory anchors, and visualizations
Recognizing and challenging negative inner voices
The impact of trauma and negative narratives on self-love
The importance of community, relationships, and hope for healing

In this episode:

How to distinguish self-compassion from simple solitude or self-care
The role of the inner critic and ways to gently challenge it
Visualizing a compassionate other—therapist, younger self, or symbolic figure
The importance of neuroplasticity in rewiring negative self-narratives
Practical tips: starting a gratitude journal, mindful breathing, and self-acceptance
The effects of lifelong criticism and trauma on self-worth, with pathways to recovery

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction to neurodivergent perspectives on self-compassion

00:37 - Defining self-compassion versus self-care

01:15 - Forgiveness and kindness inward

03:23 - Challenging negative thoughts and forgiving mistakes

04:40 - Supporting neurodivergent clients with critical inner voices 05:24 - Patience and incremental change in self-compassion practice

06:11 - Celebrating small wins and positive moments 07:38 - Impact of diagnosis on self-perception

08:42 - Visualizing and externalizing compassionate inner voices 09:52 - Sensory regulation and mindfulness practices

10:45 - The influence of childhood criticism on adult self-talk

12:33 - The importance of neuroplasticity and rewiring negative patterns

13:18 - Cognitive differences like alexithymia and implications for self-compassion

14:37 - Understanding how trauma impacts self-esteem over decades

16:24 - The long-term effects of criticism and emotional wounds

18:07 - Practical little daily acts for self-kindness

18:42 - The power of visual affirmations and mindfulness

20:23 - Building a gratitude practice and its benefits

21:24 - Challenges in forming new, positive habitual self-talk

22:45 - Hope, healing, and the ongoing process of rewiring the brain

24:36 - Supporting children and young people with trauma histories

25:50 - The importance of patience, love, and community in healing

Connect with:

Diane:

Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Diane: Olive Branch Consulting

Neurodivergent Nook Ep8: Understanding Dyspraxia

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 09 Jun 2026 06:00:00 GMT

Understanding Dyspraxia: Personal Stories and Educational Insights

In this episode of Neurodivergent Nook, Helen Neale and Diane share their personal experiences and professional perspectives on dyspraxia, also known as developmental coordination disorder. They explore how dyspraxia affects everyday life, particularly within educational settings, and discuss practical support strategies for children and teenagers.

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Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

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Key Topics

Personal stories of dyspraxia and related clumsiness
Common misconceptions and stereotypes about dyspraxia
How dyspraxia manifests in children and adults
Challenges faced in schools: PE, handwriting, and social pressures
Strategies for supporting neurodivergent children, including sensory interventions
The importance of reasonable adjustments and fostering self-esteem
Impact of secondary school transitions and lack of tailored support
Practical tools like typing versus handwriting for children with dyspraxia
The role of educators and families in creating inclusive environments

Timestamps

00:00 - Introduction to episode and guest background
00:15 - Personal experiences with dyspraxia
00:55 - Understanding what dyspraxia is and common misconceptions
01:40 - Dyspraxia's physical manifestations and injuries
02:09 - Dyspraxia and neurodivergence co-occurrence
02:34 - Social observations: clumsiness and menopause influence
02:47 - Funny stories highlighting dyspraxic traits
03:23 - Dyspraxia’s impact on motor coordination from childhood to adulthood
04:09 - How dyspraxia shows up in educational contexts
04:25 - Challenges in diagnosis and accessing support
05:10 - Dyslexia and dyspraxia in school: practical examples
06:01 - Embarrassments and misunderstandings around physical coordination
07:23 - Sensory exercises to illustrate dyspraxia’s physical challenges
08:16 - Need for understanding and reasonable adjustments in schools
09:20 - Energy drain and fatigue associated with motor difficulties
10:06 - The importance of teacher awareness beyond primary school
11:00 - Teenagers managing dyspraxia and social pressures
11:40 - Personal anecdotes about PE and coordination challenges
12:00 - Physical skills, running, and hypermobility
12:55 - Insights from trainers and body awareness
13:09 - Supporting children’s motor development at home and school
14:34 - Strategies for pacing and self-esteem building
15:18 - Effective school interventions: sensory trails and early support
16:19 - The benefits of targeted physical activities in school
17:04 - The over-reliance on sedentary classroom learning
18:19 - The potential of typing as an alternative to handwriting
19:03 - Technology and resource limitations in schools
20:44 - Autonomy, choice, and reducing shame for children
21:17 - The need for thoughtful planning in supporting children with dyspraxia
22:33 - Encouragement and positive support in schools and families
22:45 - Closing remarks and appreciation for listeners

Neurodivergent Nook Ep7: Grief after diagnosis

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 02 Jun 2026 06:00:00 GMT

This podcast episode explores the complex emotions surrounding diagnoses of neurodivergence, particularly focusing on grief, acceptance, and self-understanding. Helen and Diane share personal experiences, shedding light on the emotional journey many neurodivergent adults face upon diagnosis or self-identification.

Key topics

The emotional impact of diagnosis and the grieving process
Personal stories of grief, acceptance, and self-understanding in neurodivergence
The influence of childhood experiences and societal understanding of neurodivergence
How grief manifests differently in individuals and coping mechanisms
The importance of community, support, and self-compassion during this journey
Internalized ableism and challenges to accepting neurodivergent identities
The significance of finding a supportive tribe and shared experiences

In this episode

Diane shares her two-year grieving process after her ADHD diagnosis and how understanding changed her perspective
Helen reflects on her own childhood memories and the grief associated with unrecognized neurodivergence
They discuss the idea of "going to Holland instead of Italy," a metaphor for unexpected life paths after child diagnosis
The importance of allowing space for grief and self-acceptance
The role of societal and internalized ableism in complicating the acceptance process
Practical advice for navigating grief, self-understanding, and supportive relationships

Timestamps

00:00 - Introduction to the episode and topics
00:30 - Diane’s initial response to her ADHD diagnosis
01:16 - Grieving the loss of previous self-understanding
01:44 - Childhood experiences influencing current perceptions
02:15 - How diagnosis prompted reflection and life changes
03:57 - The necessity and value of grief in acceptance
04:41 - Loss of friendships and the process of letting go
06:09 - Acceptance after autism diagnosis
06:31 - Reflecting on childhood and missing understanding
07:02 - Supporting neurodivergent children and trauma
08:39 - Expectations vs reality of parenthood
09:29 - The poem "Welcome to Holland" and life’s unexpected journey
10:19 - The guilt and self-criticism in grief
10:49 - Processing late diagnosis and masking
11:33 - Reflecting on childhood memories and strategies
12:20 - Grieving the young Helen’s challenges
13:08 - Realizing skills developed in adversity
13:59 - The importance of understanding oneself
14:38 - The internal struggle with self-concept and ableism
15:22 - Embracing new self-awareness
18:25 - Internalized ableism and self-identity
19:23 - The impact of diagnosis on self-perception
20:36 - The paradox of change and continuity after diagnosis
21:19 - The importance of support networks
22:26 - Obsessing over neurodivergence and grief
24:07 - Finding shared experiences and community
26:02 - Grieving childhood and unrecognized struggles
27:07 - Closing remarks and support encouragement

Connect:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting

Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

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Neurodivergent Nook Ep6: Chat about Diagnosis

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 26 May 2026 06:00:00 GMT

In this episode of the Neurodivergent Nook podcast, Helen and Diane share their personal and professional journeys with diagnosis, exploring the pros, cons, and emotional impact for both children and adults. Whether you’re considering a diagnosis or supporting someone who is, these insights shed light on the complexities and importance of understanding neurodivergence.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

Key Topics

Personal stories of late diagnoses of ADHD and autism
The process of questioning and family reflections leading to diagnosis
The emotional and identity challenges associated with late diagnosis
The significance of understanding diagnoses for self-compassion and support
The impact of diagnoses on self-esteem and internal narratives
Challenges in advocating for assessments within educational systems
The importance of diagnosis for accessing tailored support and understanding
Differing perspectives on seeking diagnosis among neurodivergent individuals
How society and medical models influence perceptions of diagnosis
The broader context of neurodiversity beyond labels and diagnoses

Timestamps

00:00 - Introduction to the episode and topic of diagnosis
00:28 - Diane shares her journey to diagnosis of ADHD and autism
01:07 - Reflections on family history and late diagnosis
01:36 - Personal experiences supporting children and self-reflection
02:02 - Recognizing family members' neurodivergence
02:24 - The realization about autism and processing diagnoses
03:16 - Helen’s late diagnosis of ADHD and autism in her 50s
03:45 - The aha moment during counselling training about cognitive differences
04:28 - The importance of compassion and self-awareness
05:09 - The role of pressure and adrenaline in motivation
05:40 - Analyzing family and genetic links to neurodivergence
06:26 - Exploring family health history and neurodivergent traits
07:37 - Empowerment of acceptance after diagnosis
08:55 - Supporting children and students with diagnoses in education
09:25 - The benefits of early diagnosis for better support
11:12 - The importance of tailored support and societal inclusion
12:04 - Challenges in getting appropriate support and funding
13:20 - Supporting families through the diagnosis journey
14:40 - Emotional impacts on families and the importance of family support
16:18 - The ongoing struggles with educational funding and training
17:22 - Experiences of diagnosing children and teens
19:42 - Self-perception and internal voices post-diagnosis
20:12 - The importance of self-forgiveness and understanding
21:35 - The significance of emotional regulation and feeling 'not rubbish'
22:03 - Embracing human complexity and diversity beyond labels
23:04 - Reflecting on societal perceptions of neurodivergence
25:03 - The language of diagnosis versus self-understanding
26:04 - The impact of family perceptions and societal attitudes
28:32 - Raising awareness and taking time for self-reflection
29:04 - Closing remarks and encouragement for ongoing dialogue

Neurodivergent Nook Ep4: Understanding Masking

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 12 May 2026 13:47:00 GMT

This podcast episode explores the complex topic of masking in neurodivergent individuals, highlighting personal experiences, systemic challenges, and strategies for support. Helen Neale and Diane Franer share insights on the emotional toll of masking, unmasking journeys, and how educators and loved ones can foster more accepting environments.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

Key topics

The meaning of masking and its emotional toll
Personal journeys of unmasking and self-acceptance
Systemic challenges in supporting neurodivergent individuals
Strategies for educators to support unmasking and authenticity
The impact of masking on mental health and relationships

Chapters
00:00 Understanding Masking in Neurodivergence
06:55 The Emotional Impact of Masking
13:53 Unmasking and Authenticity
21:07 Supporting Neurodivergent Individuals in Education

Neurodivergent Nook Ep5: Exploring Autistic Energy and Burnout

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 19 May 2026 06:00:00 GMT

Summary

In this episode of Neurodivergent Nook, hosts Helen Neale and Diane Franier explore the concept of autistic energy, sharing personal experiences with burnout and its impact on neurodivergent individuals. They discuss the importance of mindfulness and recovery practices, particularly in the context of children and teenagers facing burnout. The conversation highlights the role of connection, both with others and through interactions with animals, in reducing burnout and restoring energy.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

Takeaways

Autistic energy can lead to burnout if not managed.
Burnout is often misdiagnosed as depression in neurodivergent individuals.
Mindfulness practices can be adapted to fit individual needs.
Children today face unique challenges that contribute to burnout.
Connection with animals can provide restorative energy.
Self-preservation is crucial for mental health.
Physical activity can help regulate energy levels.
Understanding personal limits is essential to avoid burnout.
The pressures of productivity can exacerbate burnout.
Creating safe spaces for neurodivergent individuals is vital.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Autistic Energy

02:56 Experiencing Burnout: Personal Stories

05:49 The Impact of Burnout on Neurodivergent Individuals

09:13 Mindfulness and Recovery Practices

12:06 Burnout in Children and Teenagers

14:47 Finding Joy and Energy in Connection

18:01 The Role of Animals in Reducing Burnout

Neurodivergent Nook Ep3: Explaining Interoception

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Tue, 05 May 2026 06:00:00 GMT

Unlock the hidden world of interoception: an often overlooked sense that impacts how neurodivergent individuals understand their own bodies and emotions. If you’ve ever wondered why recognizing hunger, thirst, or even pain feels so elusive, this episode reveals the surprising truth behind this vital yet misunderstood sense. Join Helen Neale, a therapist with lived experience of autism and ADHD, and Diane, an educator and foster carer, as they explore how interoception influences everyday life: from basic needs like eating and drinking to managing emotions and pain. Discover why neurodivergent brains often miss these signals, leading to challenges in self-care, emotional regulation, and overall wellbeing. They share eye-opening stories about children and teens in trauma, revealing how survival mode can disconnect someone from their body's cues, and what that means for caregivers and professionals. You’ll learn about concrete frameworks and tactics to support interoceptive awareness, including tips for recognizing subtle signs of hunger or distress before they escalate. We break down the implications of ignored signals, such as dehydration, hypoglycemia, or emotional overwhelm, and how they can be mistaken for stubbornness, mood swings, or defiance. This episode explores how missing these cues impacts mental health, learning, and daily functioning, emphasising the critical need for understanding and embracing interoception in neurodivergent support.Why does this matter? Because when you grasp how interoception shapes behavior and emotion, you unlock the potential for more compassionate, effective care whether you’re supporting children, teens, or adults navigating the complexities of neurodivergence. This episode is essential listening for professionals, parents, and neurodivergent individuals alike who want to decode their body's signals and foster greater self-awareness and wellbeing.If you’re tired of misunderstood behaviors and want practical insights into one of the most overlooked senses, tune in now. Your journey to better self-understanding starts here.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting

Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

Neurodivergent Nook Ep2: Understanding Sensory Needs and Overwhelm

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Sat, 25 Apr 2026 15:45:03 GMT

Unlock the hidden world of sensory experiences and discover how understanding your sensory needs can transform your daily life. Whether you're neurodivergent or neurotypical, missing this insight means missing out on easier, more enjoyable ways to thrive, especially in hectic environments like school or work. If sensory overwhelm has ever held you back, this episode shows you practical tools to regain control, feel grounded, and foster understanding in yourself and others. We give you real-life stories and expert advice that reveal the core of sensory processing differences.

Helen Neale, an autistic ADHD therapist, and Diane, an education consultant and parent of neurodivergent children, share candid experiences and accessible frameworks.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting
Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too:

Key Topics

You'll discover:

How bottom-up sensory overload happens and why traditional approaches often miss the mark
The importance of autonomy and collaboration in managing sensory needs, and
Simple yet powerful techniques like grounding, sensory breaks, and using technology to support self-regulation.

We break down the eight senses, including the often-overlooked interoception, and why awareness of these internal and external inputs is crucial for emotional regulation and effective learning.

Learn how elementary school environments can better support sensory regulation with small tweaks and how understanding individual differences can prevent overwhelm and foster success.

These actionable insights are vital for educators, parents, and anyone eager to create calmer, more inclusive spaces.If you're tired of one-size-fits-all strategies that overlook personal sensory needs

This episode is your key to a more compassionate, effective approach.

Perfect for educators, parents, or neurodivergent individuals seeking practical, empathetic solutions, because when we understand sensory differences, everyone benefits.

Turn confusion into clarity, overwhelm into control, and discover the true foundation of mental well-being: sensing yourself and your environment clearly. Hit play now and start your journey toward sensory harmony.

Neurodivergent Nook Ep1: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Helen Neale and Diane Frainer — Sat, 18 Apr 2026 09:42:24 GMT

The first episode of Neurodivergent Nook introduces the hosts, Helen Neal and Diane Franer, who share their experiences as neurodivergent individuals. They discuss rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) and its impact on their lives, as well as the importance of empathy, self-compassion, and adapting to individual needs. The conversation highlights the challenges of seeking clarity, the impact of trauma and neglect, and the importance of understanding behavior as communication. The hosts emphasize the need for empathy, kindness, and self-acceptance in navigating the experience of Rejection Seneitive Dysphoria (RSD).

Takeaways

Empathy and kindness are essential in understanding and supporting individuals with rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD).
Adapting to individual needs, embracing imperfections, and being kind to oneself are crucial in managing the impact of RSD.

Connect with:
Diane: Olive Branch Consulting

Helen: Neurodivergent Nook

Come join us on social media too: