<![CDATA[The Self-Authority Podcast]]>https://www.theselfauthoritycoach.com/Riverside.fm (https://riverside.com)Fri, 16 Oct 2026 14:39:45 GMTSat, 04 Jul 2026 20:30:57 GMT60Elaine S Belson LCSW, The Self-Authority CoachThe Self-Authority Podcast is a psychology-informed podcast exploring why women overthink, hesitate to speak up, second-guess themselves, and struggle to trust what they know. Hosted by The Self-Authority Coach and psychotherapist, Elaine Belson, each episode features conversations and stories about the emotional patterns that keep women stuck. This isn’t about becoming fearless or perfect. It’s about knowing what you want and trusting what you know.  New episodes weekly.episodicElaine S Belson LCSW, The Self-Authority Coachelainesbelson@gmail.comno<![CDATA[Stop Hesitating to Speak]]>Elaine Belson, LCSW, talks with Diane DiResta about self-authority, public speaking, and communication as a leadership skill in presentations, meetings, one-to-one conversations, and online. Drawing on her experience as a speaking coach and author of Knockout Presentations, Diane shares practical ways to reduce fear, build confidence through practice, and speak with greater presence.

Key topics
  • Why fear of humiliation can hold speakers back—and why it helps to have a plan for recovering from mistakes.
  • How repetition, preparation, and feedback build confidence.
  • Why a clear structure helps speakers avoid rambling and communicate with authority.
  • How public speaking skills apply in everyday conversations, meetings, podcasts, and video.
  • The importance of mindset, audience awareness, and aligning vocal, visual, and verbal communication.
  • Speaking up in male-dominated environments, responding when an idea is overlooked, and adapting to an audience without losing authenticity.
Timestamps

00:22 - Diane’s freshman-year public speaking story
02:16 - Fear of humiliation and recovery strategies
03:13 - Turning nervous energy into confidence
04:09 - Building confidence through repetition and practice
05:18 - Preparation and delivery
06:04 - Public speaking as everyday communication
07:59 - How structure prevents rambling
10:07 - The mindset: “I have a right to be here”
12:11 - Imposter syndrome and overthinking others’ reactions
14:49 - Adapting to an audience while staying authentic
16:21 - Speaking in male-dominated fields
17:38 - Clear language instead of hedging or apologizing
20:54 - Emotions at work
23:08 - Shifting focus from self to service
24:03 - Situational speaking
28:43 - Timing, bias, and whether ideas land
30:51 - Reading audience body language
33:56 - Embracing mistakes
36:24 - Humor and grace under pressure
39:19 - Being yourself rather than a copy
40:06 - Matching your message to your audience
42:11 - Mindset and skill set
47:39 - Communication as a leadership skill

About Diane DiResta

Diane DiResta, Certified Speaking Professional, is Founder and CEO of DiResta Communications, Inc., a New York City consultancy serving business leaders who deliver high-stakes presentations one-to-one, on stage, or virtually. She is the author of Knockout Presentations: How to Deliver Your Message with Power, Punch, and Pizzazz and has spoken on four continents.

Diane has been featured on CNN and quoted in The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal. ZoneofGenius.com named her to its list of Top 20 Speaker Coaches and Trainers. Thanks for the invite to come ealry, Her LinkedIn Learning course, Speaking Confidently and Effectively, ranked among the Top 20 Most Popular Courses for two consecutive years.

Connect with Elaine!

Join Elaine for a LIVE event to learn how to “Speak Up with Courage & Authority” on October 20, 2026: https://liz-lopez.mykajabi.com/speak-up

]]>69d7eb14-f8d4-4288-ae78-18deec3dbd2bMon, 12 Oct 2026 04:16:35 GMTSpeaking With Confidence, Clarity, and Conviction<p>Elaine Belson, LCSW, talks with Diane DiResta about self-authority, public speaking, and communication as a leadership skill in presentations, meetings, one-to-one conversations, and online. Drawing on her experience as a speaking coach and author of <i><em>Knockout Presentations</em></i>, Diane shares practical ways to reduce fear, build confidence through practice, and speak with greater presence.</p>Key topics<ul><li>Why fear of humiliation can hold speakers back—and why it helps to have a plan for recovering from mistakes.</li><li>How repetition, preparation, and feedback build confidence.</li><li>Why a clear structure helps speakers avoid rambling and communicate with authority.</li><li>How public speaking skills apply in everyday conversations, meetings, podcasts, and video.</li><li>The importance of mindset, audience awareness, and aligning vocal, visual, and verbal communication.</li><li>Speaking up in male-dominated environments, responding when an idea is overlooked, and adapting to an audience without losing authenticity.</li></ul>Timestamps<p>00:22 - Diane’s freshman-year public speaking story<br />02:16 - Fear of humiliation and recovery strategies<br />03:13 - Turning nervous energy into confidence<br />04:09 - Building confidence through repetition and practice<br />05:18 - Preparation and delivery<br />06:04 - Public speaking as everyday communication<br />07:59 - How structure prevents rambling<br />10:07 - The mindset: “I have a right to be here”<br />12:11 - Imposter syndrome and overthinking others’ reactions<br />14:49 - Adapting to an audience while staying authentic<br />16:21 - Speaking in male-dominated fields<br />17:38 - Clear language instead of hedging or apologizing<br />20:54 - Emotions at work<br />23:08 - Shifting focus from self to service<br />24:03 - Situational speaking<br />28:43 - Timing, bias, and whether ideas land<br />30:51 - Reading audience body language<br />33:56 - Embracing mistakes<br />36:24 - Humor and grace under pressure<br />39:19 - Being yourself rather than a copy<br />40:06 - Matching your message to your audience<br />42:11 - Mindset and skill set<br />47:39 - Communication as a leadership skill</p>About Diane DiResta<p>Diane DiResta, Certified Speaking Professional, is Founder and CEO of DiResta Communications, Inc., a New York City consultancy serving business leaders who deliver high-stakes presentations one-to-one, on stage, or virtually. She is the author of <i><em>Knockout Presentations: How to Deliver Your Message with Power, Punch, and Pizzazz</em></i> and has spoken on four continents. </p><p>Diane has been featured on CNN and quoted in <i><em>The New York Times</em></i> and <i><em>The Wall Street Journal</em></i>. ZoneofGenius.com named her to its list of Top 20 Speaker Coaches and Trainers. Thanks for the invite to come ealry, Her LinkedIn Learning course, <i><em>Speaking Confidently and Effectively</em></i>, ranked among the Top 20 Most Popular Courses for two consecutive years.</p><ul><li>Press: <a href="https://www.diresta.com/press" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">https://www.diresta.com/press</a></li><li>LinkedIn: <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/dianediresta" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">http://www.linkedin.com/in/dianediresta</a></li><li>Website: <a href="http://www.diresta.com" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">http://www.diresta.com</a></li><li>YouTube: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/dianediresta.com" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/dianediresta.com</a></li></ul>Connect with Elaine!<ul><li>LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw</li><li>Free Discovery Call: <a href="https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min</a></li><li>Website: <a href="https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com</a></li></ul><p><b><strong>Join Elaine for a LIVE event to learn how to “Speak Up with Courage &amp; Authority” on October 20, 2026: </strong></b><a href="https://liz-lopez.mykajabi.com/speak-up" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow"><b><strong>https://liz-lopez.mykajabi.com/speak-up</strong></b></a></p>no00:49:46116Stop Hesitating to Speakfull<![CDATA[Stop Giving Away Your Power]]>Claiming Power Without Losing Yourself with Olga Valadon

Elaine Belson, LCSW-C, talks with Olga Valadon about career transitions, self-advocacy, emotional intelligence, and how women can claim visibility without losing their values.Olga shares her move from financial services to professional services and the culture shift that made self-promotion feel uncomfortable.

She reflects on how a Stanford program helped her rethink power—not as something inherently negative, but as a tool leaders can use to support teams and help others advance. The conversation also explores people pleasing, perfectionism, the qualification trap, and small habits—like repeatedly apologizing—that can undermine authority.

Olga and Elaine discuss emotional fluency: naming and understanding emotions so leaders can respond thoughtfully, learn from feedback, and move forward after mistakes.

About Olga Valadon

Olga Valadon is a strategic advisor, executive education facilitator, and speaker with 30 years of experience in global financial and professional services. She has led teams and advised senior executives, including Boards of Directors. She is the founder of Change Aligned, a leadership advisory and development company that works with executive teams and senior leaders to improve strategy execution by harnessing emotions—the hidden driver of costs, speed, risk, and growth.

Website: https://www.olgavaladon.com/
Change Aligned: https://changealigned.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/olgavaladon/

Timestamps

(00:31) Olga’s career transition
(02:08) Self-promotion and workplace culture
(05:14) Rethinking power and visibility
(09:21) Why self-advocacy can be difficult
(16:06) Using power for good
(21:22) Language habits and authority
(24:09) Perfectionism and the qualification trap
(31:21) Emotions as data
(37:32) Mistakes, learning, and self-judgment
(47:46) What emotional fluency means
(50:22) Feedback, posture, and language habits
(53:15) Testing assumptions and staying open to learning

Connect with Olga!

Website: https://www.olgavaladon.com/
Change Aligned: https://changealigned.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/olgavaladon/

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw
Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min
Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

]]>148bd488-e8cf-469e-9e28-baacd31037b5Wed, 07 Oct 2026 16:21:54 GMT<p>Claiming Power Without Losing Yourself with Olga Valadon</p><p>Elaine Belson, LCSW-C, talks with Olga Valadon about career transitions, self-advocacy, emotional intelligence, and how women can claim visibility without losing their values.Olga shares her move from financial services to professional services and the culture shift that made self-promotion feel uncomfortable.</p><p>She reflects on how a Stanford program helped her rethink power—not as something inherently negative, but as a tool leaders can use to support teams and help others advance. The conversation also explores people pleasing, perfectionism, the qualification trap, and small habits—like repeatedly apologizing—that can undermine authority.</p><p>Olga and Elaine discuss emotional fluency: naming and understanding emotions so leaders can respond thoughtfully, learn from feedback, and move forward after mistakes.</p><p>About Olga Valadon</p><p>Olga Valadon is a strategic advisor, executive education facilitator, and speaker with 30 years of experience in global financial and professional services. She has led teams and advised senior executives, including Boards of Directors. She is the founder of Change Aligned, a leadership advisory and development company that works with executive teams and senior leaders to improve strategy execution by harnessing emotions—the hidden driver of costs, speed, risk, and growth.</p><p>Website: <a href="https://www.olgavaladon.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">https://www.olgavaladon.com/</a><br />Change Aligned: <a href="https://changealigned.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">https://changealigned.com/</a><br />LinkedIn: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/olgavaladon/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">https://www.linkedin.com/in/olgavaladon/</a></p><p>Timestamps</p><p>(00:31) Olga’s career transition<br />(02:08) Self-promotion and workplace culture<br />(05:14) Rethinking power and visibility<br />(09:21) Why self-advocacy can be difficult<br />(16:06) Using power for good<br />(21:22) Language habits and authority<br />(24:09) Perfectionism and the qualification trap<br />(31:21) Emotions as data<br />(37:32) Mistakes, learning, and self-judgment<br />(47:46) What emotional fluency means<br />(50:22) Feedback, posture, and language habits<br />(53:15) Testing assumptions and staying open to learning</p><p>Connect with Olga!</p><p>Website: <a href="https://www.olgavaladon.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">https://www.olgavaladon.com/</a><br />Change Aligned: <a href="https://changealigned.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">https://changealigned.com/</a><br />LinkedIn: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/olgavaladon/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">https://www.linkedin.com/in/olgavaladon/</a></p><p>Connect with Elaine!</p><p>LinkedIn: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">https://www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw</a><br />Free Discovery Call: <a href="https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min</a><br />Website: <a href="https://www.theselfauthoritycoach.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com</a></p>no00:29:36114Stop Giving Away Your Powerfull<![CDATA[Move Forward Without Certainty]]>Jeanette Deatherage: Confidence, Leadership, and Building a Business

Jeanette Deatherage shares how her experience in Mary Kay, military service, and frequent relocations shaped her resilience and leadership. She discusses empowering women, rebuilding through change, adapting to virtual connection, and helping others grow in confidence and business.

In this episode

  • Jeanette reflects on the importance of making people feel valued and how that principle informs her work with clients.
  • She shares how military service and life as a military spouse taught her discipline, adaptability, and persistence.
  • After years of having a Mary Kay business without actively building it, a mentor encouraged her to set goals and take action.
  • Jeanette discusses rebuilding her business through multiple moves and adapting to virtual engagement after the pandemic.
  • She talks about supporting and mentoring women, leading a team, and helping others build confidence.
  • The conversation touches on aging, skincare, caregiving, and navigating her husband’s cancer diagnosis with resilience and family support.

Timestamps

00:00 - Introducing Jeanette
00:41 - Meeting Mary Kay Ash
03:43 - Jeanette’s Air Force experience
06:41 - Discipline and perseverance
08:41 - Military family life and frequent moves
12:04 - Getting serious about building a business
13:38 - Starting before everything feels ready
15:43 - Encouraging women to invest in themselves
18:56 - Relocations, confidence, and mental health
23:49 - Mentoring and supporting women
24:35 - Leading a Mary Kay team
28:04 - Aging and self-acceptance
34:45 - Helping women learn makeup skills
39:21 - Prostate cancer awareness and caregiving
44:41 - Connecting with clients virtually
45:56 - How to connect with Jeanette

Jeanette Deatherage brings over 41 years of entrepreneurial leadership experience as a top Mary Kay sales consultant. Her background includes military discipline, resilience, business rebuilding through multiple relocations, and adapting to virtual engagement post-pandemic. She empowers women and leads a team, demonstrating strong leadership and communication skills in a business context.

Connect with Jeanette

Website: marykay.com/jeanetted
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jeanettedeatherage

Connect with Elaine

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw
Free Discovery Call: Book a 15-minute call
Website: TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

]]>37570587-2400-4de0-9c20-5767f3bb6678Mon, 28 Sep 2026 14:21:43 GMT<p>Jeanette Deatherage: Confidence, Leadership, and Building a Business</p><p>Jeanette Deatherage shares how her experience in Mary Kay, military service, and frequent relocations shaped her resilience and leadership. She discusses empowering women, rebuilding through change, adapting to virtual connection, and helping others grow in confidence and business.</p><p>In this episode</p><ul><li>Jeanette reflects on the importance of making people feel valued and how that principle informs her work with clients.</li><li>She shares how military service and life as a military spouse taught her discipline, adaptability, and persistence.</li><li>After years of having a Mary Kay business without actively building it, a mentor encouraged her to set goals and take action.</li><li>Jeanette discusses rebuilding her business through multiple moves and adapting to virtual engagement after the pandemic.</li><li>She talks about supporting and mentoring women, leading a team, and helping others build confidence.</li><li>The conversation touches on aging, skincare, caregiving, and navigating her husband’s cancer diagnosis with resilience and family support.</li></ul><p>Timestamps</p><p>00:00 - Introducing Jeanette<br />00:41 - Meeting Mary Kay Ash<br />03:43 - Jeanette’s Air Force experience<br />06:41 - Discipline and perseverance<br />08:41 - Military family life and frequent moves<br />12:04 - Getting serious about building a business<br />13:38 - Starting before everything feels ready<br />15:43 - Encouraging women to invest in themselves<br />18:56 - Relocations, confidence, and mental health<br />23:49 - Mentoring and supporting women<br />24:35 - Leading a Mary Kay team<br />28:04 - Aging and self-acceptance<br />34:45 - Helping women learn makeup skills<br />39:21 - Prostate cancer awareness and caregiving<br />44:41 - Connecting with clients virtually<br />45:56 - How to connect with Jeanette</p><p>Jeanette Deatherage brings over 41 years of entrepreneurial leadership experience as a top Mary Kay sales consultant. Her background includes military discipline, resilience, business rebuilding through multiple relocations, and adapting to virtual engagement post-pandemic. She empowers women and leads a team, demonstrating strong leadership and communication skills in a business context.</p><p>Connect with Jeanette</p><p>Website: <a href="https://www.marykay.com/jeanetted" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">marykay.com/jeanetted</a><br />LinkedIn: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeanettedeatherage/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">linkedin.com/in/jeanettedeatherage</a></p><p>Connect with Elaine</p><p>LinkedIn: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw</a><br />Free Discovery Call: <a href="https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Book a 15-minute call</a><br />Website: <a href="https://www.theselfauthoritycoach.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com</a></p>no00:45:02113Move Forward Without Certaintyfull<![CDATA[You Don't Have to Do It All]]>Self-Awareness and Trust in Healthcare Leadership

Elaine Belson, LCSW, speaks with Jess Bunin, MD, about self-awareness, trust, and the inner work required for effective healthcare leadership. Jess shares her experience surviving Hodgkin’s disease during residency. The conversation explores perfectionism, shame, self-compassion, boundaries, values, identity, psychological safety, and communication.

Key takeaways
  • The difference between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism
  • How shame and exhaustion can undermine leadership
  • Why self-compassion supports healthier professional growth
  • Setting boundaries without guilt or excessive explanation
  • Aligning daily actions with personal and organizational values
  • Using mentors, coaches, peers, and feedback partners for reflection
  • Understanding identity and difference as strengths within teams
  • Creating psychological safety and sharing power
  • Replacing assumptions with curiosity and active listening
Timestamps

00:00 - Introducing Jess and her book
01:35 - Jess’s illness during residency
05:44 - Adaptive versus maladaptive perfectionism
09:06 - Shame, exhaustion, and patient safety
10:09 - Practicing self-compassion
15:06 - Boundaries and values-based decisions
21:20 - Speaking up and finding a feedback partner
26:24 - Identity, belonging, and team strength
29:44 - Tactical, strategic, and existential pauses
34:25 - Choosing between therapy, coaching, mentorship, and peer support
36:48 - Psychological safety in teams
38:16 - Civil discourse and ethical influence
49:51 - Why inner work comes before effective leadership
50:40 - Rebuilding trust through shared power

COL(ret) Jessica Bunin, MD, MHPE is Co-Founder and Chief Architect of All Levels Leadership, Certified Executive Coach, and author of Self-Awareness and Trust: Leading Healthcare Teams from the Inside Out. She is passionate about developing future leaders through faculty development, coaching, and mentorship.

A graduate of West Point and Tulane University School of Medicine, Jess completed her residency at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and served as a Psychiatrist at West Point. Jess has since held leadership roles including Program Director and Associate Dean. She retired in 2023 after 23 years in the Military, deploying to Iraq as a Psychiatrist and Afghanistan as an Intensivist.

Connect with Jess!

Website: www.jessbuninmd.com

Podcasts: https://jessbuninmd.com/media#podcasts

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-bunin/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessica.bunin/

Email: jess@jessbuninmd.com

Book: www.jessbuninmd.com/book

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

]]>b9ccb8d8-98bd-4ce9-a2f0-c4f8b32da445Sun, 06 Sep 2026 22:06:35 GMT<h5>Self-Awareness and Trust in Healthcare Leadership</h5><p>Elaine Belson, LCSW, speaks with Jess Bunin, MD, about self-awareness, trust, and the inner work required for effective healthcare leadership. Jess shares her experience surviving Hodgkin’s disease during residency. The conversation explores perfectionism, shame, self-compassion, boundaries, values, identity, psychological safety, and communication.</p><h6>Key takeaways</h6><ul><li>The difference between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism</li><li>How shame and exhaustion can undermine leadership</li><li>Why self-compassion supports healthier professional growth</li><li>Setting boundaries without guilt or excessive explanation</li><li>Aligning daily actions with personal and organizational values</li><li>Using mentors, coaches, peers, and feedback partners for reflection</li><li>Understanding identity and difference as strengths within teams</li><li>Creating psychological safety and sharing power</li><li>Replacing assumptions with curiosity and active listening</li></ul><h6>Timestamps</h6><p>00:00 - Introducing Jess and her book<br />01:35 - Jess’s illness during residency<br />05:44 - Adaptive versus maladaptive perfectionism<br />09:06 - Shame, exhaustion, and patient safety<br />10:09 - Practicing self-compassion<br />15:06 - Boundaries and values-based decisions<br />21:20 - Speaking up and finding a feedback partner<br />26:24 - Identity, belonging, and team strength<br />29:44 - Tactical, strategic, and existential pauses<br />34:25 - Choosing between therapy, coaching, mentorship, and peer support<br />36:48 - Psychological safety in teams<br />38:16 - Civil discourse and ethical influence<br />49:51 - Why inner work comes before effective leadership<br />50:40 - Rebuilding trust through shared power</p><p></p><p>COL(ret) Jessica Bunin, MD, MHPE is Co-Founder and Chief Architect of All Levels Leadership, Certified Executive Coach, and author of Self-Awareness and Trust: Leading Healthcare Teams from the Inside Out. She is passionate about developing future leaders through faculty development, coaching, and mentorship.</p><p></p><p>A graduate of West Point and Tulane University School of Medicine, Jess completed her residency at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and served as a Psychiatrist at West Point. Jess has since held leadership roles including Program Director and Associate Dean. She retired in 2023 after 23 years in the Military, deploying to Iraq as a Psychiatrist and Afghanistan as an Intensivist. </p><p></p><p>Connect with Jess!</p><p>Website: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://www.jessbuninmd.com" target="_blank">www.jessbuninmd.com</a></p><p>Podcasts: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://jessbuninmd.com/media#podcasts" target="_blank">https://jessbuninmd.com/media#podcasts</a></p><p>LinkedIn: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-bunin/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-bunin/</a></p><p>Facebook: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.facebook.com/jessica.bunin/" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/jessica.bunin/</a></p><p>Email: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="mailto:jess@jessbuninmd.com" target="_blank">jess@jessbuninmd.com</a></p><p>Book: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://www.jessbuninmd.com/book" target="_blank">www.jessbuninmd.com/book</a></p><p></p><p>Connect with Elaine!</p><p>LinkedIn: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw" target="_blank">www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw</a> </p><p>Free Discovery Call: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min" target="_blank">https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min</a></p><p>Website: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com" target="_blank">https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com</a></p>no00:53:29112You Don't Have to Do It Allfull<![CDATA[Show Up Before You Feel Ready]]>How to speak pubicly and network with confidence

Elaine Belson, LCSW talks with Diane Darling about the real work behind confident speaking and effective networking. We discuss how women can stop over-projecting rejection, make conversations feel relational instead of transactional, and use small, repeatable actions to build resilience and confidence.

Timestamps

0:00 Welcome & episode overview
1:09 Meet Diane Darling
1:39 Managing public-speaking nerves
5:59 Reframing anxiety as healthy energy
10:28 Imposter syndrome & speaking up
17:45 Resilience and rebuilding confidence
23:32 Networking strategies
30:44 Letting go of assumptions
36:28 Learning through failure
42:13 Confident, caring communication
47:17 Kindness, accountability & self-compassion
50:26 Connect with Diane
51:34 Closing takeaways


Diane Darling is a speaker, author, coach and pioneer in social networking. She was commissioned by McGraw-Hill to write the definitive book on networking called The Networking Survival Guide. It went into a 2nd printing just 90 days after the book hit the shelves. 


Diane has taught at Harvard Business School, European Cardiology Society, 20th Century Fox, Cisco Systems, Bank of America, University of Texas Law School, InfoSys, American Bar Association, Alumni of London School of Economics to name a few clients. 


She has appeared on NBC Nightly News, in The Wall Street Journal, San Francisco Chronicle, and The Boston Globe. 


Connect with Diane!
http://www.DianeDarling.com
http://www.LinkedIn.com/in/DianeDarling


Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree

Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15minWebsite: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

]]>02b33f79-6632-4c40-9f3b-5d0a4d69a19dSun, 23 Aug 2026 20:38:22 GMT<h5>How to speak pubicly and network with confidence</h5><p>Elaine Belson, LCSW talks with Diane Darling about the real work behind confident speaking and effective networking. We discuss how women can stop over-projecting rejection, make conversations feel relational instead of transactional, and use small, repeatable actions to build resilience and confidence.</p><h6>Timestamps</h6><p>0:00 Welcome &amp; episode overview<br />1:09 Meet Diane Darling<br />1:39 Managing public-speaking nerves<br />5:59 Reframing anxiety as healthy energy<br />10:28 Imposter syndrome &amp; speaking up<br />17:45 Resilience and rebuilding confidence<br />23:32 Networking strategies<br />30:44 Letting go of assumptions<br />36:28 Learning through failure<br />42:13 Confident, caring communication<br />47:17 Kindness, accountability &amp; self-compassion<br />50:26 Connect with Diane<br />51:34 Closing takeaways</p><p><br />Diane Darling is a speaker, author, coach and pioneer in social networking. She was commissioned by McGraw-Hill to write the definitive book on networking called The Networking Survival Guide. It went into a 2nd printing just 90 days after the book hit the shelves. </p><p><br />Diane has taught at Harvard Business School, European Cardiology Society, 20th Century Fox, Cisco Systems, Bank of America, University of Texas Law School, InfoSys, American Bar Association, Alumni of London School of Economics to name a few clients. </p><p><br />She has appeared on NBC Nightly News, in The Wall Street Journal, San Francisco Chronicle, and The Boston Globe. </p><p><br />Connect with Diane!<br /><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://www.DianeDarling.com" target="_blank">http://www.DianeDarling.com</a><br /><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://www.LinkedIn.com/in/DianeDarling" target="_blank">http://www.LinkedIn.com/in/DianeDarling</a></p><p><br />Connect with Elaine!</p><p>LinkedIn: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree" target="_blank">www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree</a></p><p>Discovery Call: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15minWebsite" target="_blank">https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15minWebsite</a>: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com" target="_blank">https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com</a></p>no00:53:09111Show Up Before You Feel Readyfull<![CDATA[Assert Yourself Without Apology]]>Good Girl Conditioning, Perfectionism, and Assertiveness

Elaine Belson talks with masters-level psychologist Anita Cavrag about how “good girl” conditioning shapes perfectionism, fear of rejection, people pleasing, and the pressure to earn love through performance.

(00:47) Anita’s early life in Croatia and the roots of the “good girl” pattern

(07:00) Noticing the inner perfectionist in real time instead of obeying it

(08:29) How fear of failure shapes a woman’s sense of self

(13:48) Good girl conditioning, patriarchy, and why many women share the same pattern

(15:16) Why women fear asking for what they want

(17:54) The doormat versus dragon illusion

(18:48) What submissive, aggressive, and passive aggressive look like in real life

(21:36) Passive aggressive communication and why it leaves both people unmet

(23:27) Why “nobody listens unless I yell” often starts with unclear requests

(26:26) Assertiveness is not control, manipulation, or trying to force compliance

(29:41) Why assertiveness cannot be learned in isolation from real conversations

(31:21) Fear of rejection, catastrophizing, and the story people attach to no

(35:29) People pleasing as a subtle form of control and the need to be liked

(36:33) Needing others to understand your no, and why you do not owe explanations

(38:31) Why some people over-manage reactions to protect themselves from consequences

(39:34) The cost of boundary-setting, including losing some relationships

(43:24) Values become real when you are willing to pay a price for them

(46:17) The need to be needed in founders, providers, and caregivers

(49:21) How over-functioning creates dependence and resentment at home and at work

(50:40) Why resentment grows when requests are not stated clearly

(53:30) Practical advice: identify the complaint, uncover the need, and make a specific request

(55:58) Asking sooner prevents resentment from building

(56:52) Most people like doing things for others when they understand what it means

Anita Čavrag is a masters-level psychologist and coach best known for helping brilliant, accomplished women in business manage difficult people — prospects, clients and team members who don't stick to agreements or who cross their boundaries - without damaging relationships or reputation. She's helped 100+ experts and founders step into real authority. Her credentials include a Masters in Psychology and BA in Philosophy, NLP Master Practitioner, and ICF ACC accreditation.

Free guide: The Art of Getting What You Want from People: https://www.fireflycareer.com/the-art-of-getting-what-you-want

Free 90-minute audit session: tidycal.com/anitacavrag/audit-session

Website: fireflycareer.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anita-cavrag-career-coach

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

]]>388d1fe9-4f35-4d01-923e-3916fc70b619Mon, 10 Aug 2026 13:52:02 GMT<h5>Good Girl Conditioning, Perfectionism, and Assertiveness</h5><p>Elaine Belson talks with masters-level psychologist Anita Cavrag about how “good girl” conditioning shapes perfectionism, fear of rejection, people pleasing, and the pressure to earn love through performance.</p><p></p><p>(00:47) Anita’s early life in Croatia and the roots of the “good girl” pattern</p><p>(07:00) Noticing the inner perfectionist in real time instead of obeying it</p><p>(08:29) How fear of failure shapes a woman’s sense of self</p><p>(13:48) Good girl conditioning, patriarchy, and why many women share the same pattern</p><p>(15:16) Why women fear asking for what they want</p><p>(17:54) The doormat versus dragon illusion</p><p>(18:48) What submissive, aggressive, and passive aggressive look like in real life</p><p>(21:36) Passive aggressive communication and why it leaves both people unmet</p><p>(23:27) Why “nobody listens unless I yell” often starts with unclear requests</p><p>(26:26) Assertiveness is not control, manipulation, or trying to force compliance</p><p>(29:41) Why assertiveness cannot be learned in isolation from real conversations</p><p>(31:21) Fear of rejection, catastrophizing, and the story people attach to no</p><p>(35:29) People pleasing as a subtle form of control and the need to be liked</p><p>(36:33) Needing others to understand your no, and why you do not owe explanations</p><p>(38:31) Why some people over-manage reactions to protect themselves from consequences</p><p>(39:34) The cost of boundary-setting, including losing some relationships</p><p>(43:24) Values become real when you are willing to pay a price for them</p><p>(46:17) The need to be needed in founders, providers, and caregivers</p><p>(49:21) How over-functioning creates dependence and resentment at home and at work</p><p>(50:40) Why resentment grows when requests are not stated clearly</p><p>(53:30) Practical advice: identify the complaint, uncover the need, and make a specific request</p><p>(55:58) Asking sooner prevents resentment from building</p><p>(56:52) Most people like doing things for others when they understand what it means</p><p></p><p>Anita Čavrag is a masters-level psychologist and coach best known for helping brilliant, accomplished women in business manage difficult people — prospects, clients and team members who don't stick to agreements or who cross their boundaries - without damaging relationships or reputation. She's helped 100+ experts and founders step into real authority. Her credentials include a Masters in Psychology and BA in Philosophy, NLP Master Practitioner, and ICF ACC accreditation.</p><p></p><p>Free guide: The Art of Getting What You Want from People: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.fireflycareer.com/the-art-of-getting-what-you-want" target="_blank">https://www.fireflycareer.com/the-art-of-getting-what-you-want</a></p><p>Free 90-minute audit session: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://tidycal.com/anitacavrag/audit-session" target="_blank">tidycal.com/anitacavrag/audit-session</a></p><p>Website: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://fireflycareer.com" target="_blank">fireflycareer.com</a></p><p>LinkedIn: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/anita-cavrag-career-coach" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/anita-cavrag-career-coach</a></p><p></p><p>Connect with Elaine!</p><p>LinkedIn: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw" target="_blank">www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw</a></p><p>Free Discovery Call: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min" target="_blank">https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min</a></p><p>Website: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com" target="_blank">https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com</a></p><p></p>no01:00:04110Assert Yourself Without Apologyfull<![CDATA[Learn to Trust Your Intuition]]>Trusting Your Inner Voice: How Energetic Intelligence Shapes Self-Authority

In this episode, Wendy Sterling shares her journey from corporate success and life disconnection to embracing energetic intelligence as a way to deepen self-trust and authenticity. Discover how tuning into your body's signals and stepping into your true energetic authority can accelerate personal growth and create meaningful connections.

00:00 - Welcome and episode overview
00:12 - Wendy’s story of success and early conditioning
01:00 - The narrative of seeking external approval and its costs
02:20 - The wake-up call: divorce and self-reconnection
03:16 - How life coaching revealed new possibilities for self-trust
04:46 - From external validation to internal calibration
05:59 - Recognizing illusions created by societal narratives
06:53 - Safe versus authentic: the costs of living in fear
08:08 - The influence of control and language on self-perception
09:44 - Moving beyond reaction to authentic energetic leadership
11:05 - Making decisions from embodied intuition versus certainty
12:51 - Listening to your body's signals as valuable data
14:47 - The impact of hustle mentality on trusting yourself
15:54 - Flipping the script: trusting the nudge before evidence appears
17:28 - Differentiating emotional intelligence from energetic intelligence
20:04 - Calibration versus calculation in leadership
21:04 - Walking into spaces with confidence from your energetic authority
22:25 - Attracting aligned opportunities by leading from your true self
24:05 - Recognizing signals and messages from life as guidance
29:59 - The power of acting on inner knowing for rapid results
31:14 - The false ease of avoidance versus the real ease of trust
34:56 - Leading with energy: making choices aligned with your true self
36:40 - Using energetic cues to navigate high-stakes decisions
38:24 - Practical first steps to reconnect with your energetic intelligence
43:05 - Final thoughts: showing up authentically and trusting from within
45:44 - Connecting with Wendy for support and coaching opportunities

Wendy Paige Sterling is an Intuitive Oracle and the founder of The New EI™—Energetic Intelligence, a modern leadership framework (aka your intuition). A former corporate exec with over 20yrs of experience leading teams and building multi-million-dollar regions, she now works with high-achieving women, founders and executives to deepen self-trust, reconnect with their inner knowing, their intuition, and use it alongside strategy to make clear decisions, lead with conviction and stop outsourcing their authority to fear, performance and external validation.
https://www.facebook.com/wendypaigesterling https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-paige-sterling/ https://www.instagram.com/wendypaigesterling/

Book a complimentary intuitive clarity call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/intuitive-clarity-call

Connect with Elaine!LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree

Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

]]>e830f218-3994-480b-83bc-9ad81bc8839aMon, 03 Aug 2026 15:41:26 GMT<h5>Trusting Your Inner Voice: How Energetic Intelligence Shapes Self-Authority</h5><p>In this episode, Wendy Sterling shares her journey from corporate success and life disconnection to embracing energetic intelligence as a way to deepen self-trust and authenticity. Discover how tuning into your body's signals and stepping into your true energetic authority can accelerate personal growth and create meaningful connections.</p><p></p><p>00:00 - Welcome and episode overview<br />00:12 - Wendy’s story of success and early conditioning<br />01:00 - The narrative of seeking external approval and its costs<br />02:20 - The wake-up call: divorce and self-reconnection<br />03:16 - How life coaching revealed new possibilities for self-trust<br />04:46 - From external validation to internal calibration<br />05:59 - Recognizing illusions created by societal narratives<br />06:53 - Safe versus authentic: the costs of living in fear<br />08:08 - The influence of control and language on self-perception<br />09:44 - Moving beyond reaction to authentic energetic leadership<br />11:05 - Making decisions from embodied intuition versus certainty<br />12:51 - Listening to your body's signals as valuable data<br />14:47 - The impact of hustle mentality on trusting yourself<br />15:54 - Flipping the script: trusting the nudge before evidence appears<br />17:28 - Differentiating emotional intelligence from energetic intelligence<br />20:04 - Calibration versus calculation in leadership<br />21:04 - Walking into spaces with confidence from your energetic authority<br />22:25 - Attracting aligned opportunities by leading from your true self<br />24:05 - Recognizing signals and messages from life as guidance<br />29:59 - The power of acting on inner knowing for rapid results<br />31:14 - The false ease of avoidance versus the real ease of trust<br />34:56 - Leading with energy: making choices aligned with your true self<br />36:40 - Using energetic cues to navigate high-stakes decisions<br />38:24 - Practical first steps to reconnect with your energetic intelligence<br />43:05 - Final thoughts: showing up authentically and trusting from within<br />45:44 - Connecting with Wendy for support and coaching opportunities</p><hr /><p>Wendy Paige Sterling is an Intuitive Oracle and the founder of The New EI™—Energetic Intelligence, a modern leadership framework (aka your intuition). A former corporate exec with over 20yrs of experience leading teams and building multi-million-dollar regions, she now works with high-achieving women, founders and executives to deepen self-trust, reconnect with their inner knowing, their intuition, and use it alongside strategy to make clear decisions, lead with conviction and stop outsourcing their authority to fear, performance and external validation.<br /><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.facebook.com/wendypaigesterling" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/wendypaigesterling</a> <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-paige-sterling/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-paige-sterling/</a> <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/wendypaigesterling/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/wendypaigesterling/</a></p><p>Book a complimentary intuitive clarity call: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://calendly.com/wendysterling/intuitive-clarity-call" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/wendysterling/intuitive-clarity-call</a><br /></p><p>Connect with Elaine!LinkedIn: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree" target="_blank">www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree</a> </p><p>Discovery Call: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min" target="_blank">https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min</a></p><p>Website: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com" target="_blank">https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com</a></p>no00:47:21110Learn to Trust Your Intuitionfull<![CDATA[Stop Being Hard on Yourself]]>Most women are their own harshest critic—and it’s often driven by a deep fear of rejection and failure. But what if stopping that inner auto-critic could reshape your confidence and sense of self?

On this episode of the Self-Authority Podcast, Elaine Belson shares her personal journey from self-criticism to self-acceptance, revealing powerful techniques to break free from this vicious cycle.

Elaine recalls her “bed, bath, and beyond” moment—when anxiety about a simple conversation led her to realize her self-criticism was an addiction disguised as protection. She compares this inner dialogue to alcohol addiction and highlights how she learned to simply "not go there." By doing so, she discovered that being kind to herself on purpose strengthens her confidence and diminishes feelings of inadequacy.

She explains how many women overcompensate through overanalyzing, mind-reading, and self-criticism to ward off rejection and failure, often forgetting their worth.

You’ll discover:

  • the two essential self-validation techniques designed to help you treat yourself with the same compassion you offer others;
  • how fear of rejection and failure is a survival mechanism hardwired into us; and why relying on external “mirrors”—people’s reactions—leads to distorted self-image.
  • why emotional intelligence and constructive communication are crucial for building authentic self-trust and resilience.
  • practical tools, like asking “What am I genuinely afraid will happen?” when you catch yourself being hard on your inner self, and how to challenge the story behind that fear.

This episode is a must-listen if you’re tired of battling self-

doubt and that inner critic that holds you back from showing up as your true self. By trusting yourself and learning to validate your worth from within, you’ll unlock more confidence, ease, and emotional freedom.

Whether you’re new to self-development or seeking concrete strategies to stop self-sabotage, Elaine’s insights will empower you to rewrite your internal narrative and embrace your inherent worth. Perfect for anyone ready to stop using self-criticism as a shield, and start living with self-trust.

Transform your relationship with yourself and experience the freedom that comes from trusting your natural worth—because the key to confidence is already inside you.

Timestamps:
01:18 - Overthinking and forgetting worries
01:50 - The comparison and mental rehashing cycle
02:31 - Recognizing self-monitoring as an addiction
04:31 - Self-protection through self-criticism
05:17 - Understanding women’s fear of rejection and failure
08:48 - The disconnect between how we treat ourselves and others
09:25 - Normalizing not feeling "good enough"
11:01 - Trusting yourself and overcoming perfectionism
14:18 - Reframing negative self-talk with the same compassion for others
17:27 - Problem-solving instead of self-criticism
19:15 - Being your own best friend
20:29 - The opposite of the golden rule
22:43 - Relying on yourself for a stable sense of identity
29:54 - Avoiding reliance on carnival mirrors: dysfunctional external validation
32:18 - Walking the tightrope: trusting yourself despite fear
42:16 - Trusting yourself and holding others accountable

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

]]>90d12c7d-f16b-4b94-987a-86056741e3ceWed, 22 Jul 2026 00:47:37 GMT<p>Most women are their own harshest critic—and it’s often driven by a deep fear of rejection and failure. But what if stopping that inner auto-critic could reshape your confidence and sense of self?</p><p></p><p>On this episode of the Self-Authority Podcast, Elaine Belson shares her personal journey from self-criticism to self-acceptance, revealing powerful techniques to break free from this vicious cycle.</p><p></p><p>Elaine recalls her “bed, bath, and beyond” moment—when anxiety about a simple conversation led her to realize her self-criticism was an addiction disguised as protection. She compares this inner dialogue to alcohol addiction and highlights how she learned to simply "not go there." By doing so, she discovered that being kind to herself on purpose strengthens her confidence and diminishes feelings of inadequacy.</p><p></p><p>She explains how many women overcompensate through overanalyzing, mind-reading, and self-criticism to ward off rejection and failure, often forgetting their worth.</p><p></p><p>You’ll discover:</p><ul><li>the two essential self-validation techniques designed to help you treat yourself with the same compassion you offer others;</li><li>how fear of rejection and failure is a survival mechanism hardwired into us; and why relying on external “mirrors”—people’s reactions—leads to distorted self-image.</li><li>why emotional intelligence and constructive communication are crucial for building authentic self-trust and resilience.</li><li>practical tools, like asking “What am I genuinely afraid will happen?” when you catch yourself being hard on your inner self, and how to challenge the story behind that fear.</li></ul><p></p><p>This episode is a must-listen if you’re tired of battling self-</p><p>doubt and that inner critic that holds you back from showing up as your true self. By trusting yourself and learning to validate your worth from within, you’ll unlock more confidence, ease, and emotional freedom.</p><p></p><p>Whether you’re new to self-development or seeking concrete strategies to stop self-sabotage, Elaine’s insights will empower you to rewrite your internal narrative and embrace your inherent worth. Perfect for anyone ready to stop using self-criticism as a shield, and start living with self-trust.</p><p></p><p>Transform your relationship with yourself and experience the freedom that comes from trusting your natural worth—because the key to confidence is already inside you.</p><p></p><p>Timestamps:<br />01:18 - Overthinking and forgetting worries<br />01:50 - The comparison and mental rehashing cycle<br />02:31 - Recognizing self-monitoring as an addiction<br />04:31 - Self-protection through self-criticism<br />05:17 - Understanding women’s fear of rejection and failure<br />08:48 - The disconnect between how we treat ourselves and others<br />09:25 - Normalizing not feeling "good enough"<br />11:01 - Trusting yourself and overcoming perfectionism<br />14:18 - Reframing negative self-talk with the same compassion for others<br />17:27 - Problem-solving instead of self-criticism<br />19:15 - Being your own best friend<br />20:29 - The opposite of the golden rule<br />22:43 - Relying on yourself for a stable sense of identity<br />29:54 - Avoiding reliance on carnival mirrors: dysfunctional external validation<br />32:18 - Walking the tightrope: trusting yourself despite fear<br />42:16 - Trusting yourself and holding others accountable<br /></p><p>Connect with Elaine!</p><p>LinkedIn: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw" target="_blank">www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw</a> Free Discovery Call: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min" target="_blank">https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min</a></p><p>Website: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com" target="_blank">https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com</a></p>no00:30:4218Stop Being Hard on Yourselffull<![CDATA[Speak Up with Confidence]]>The Hidden Barriers That Stop You From Asking for What You Need

Discover how our own mental habits, like mind reading and second-guessing, hinder our ability to communicate effectively and build confidence. This episode shares practical insights on shifting from internal chatter to direct conversations that empower us.

Key topics:

- The impact of pre-verbal self-doubt on communication

- How mind reading and anticipation create barriers

- The importance of asking questions rather than assuming

- Checking in with others to foster clarity

- The role of self-awareness in building self-authority

- Practical tips to stop overthinking and start authentic conversations

- The connection between self-trust and effective communication

- Introducing Pam Lippet and her approach to self-awareness

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction to the episode and why women often hesitate to speak up
02:30 - Pam’s childhood and discovery of her voice through theater and debate
05:15 - How early experiences shape communication skills and confidence
08:45 - Navigating gender dynamics in professional settings
12:05 - The importance of preparation and presentation in meetings
15:42 - Overcoming internalized messages about women’s roles and expectations
18:55 - Examples of women supporting or self-sabotaging each other in the workplace
22:07 - How to handle miscommunication or language barriers effectively
26:45 - The power of transparency in workload and project management
30:05 - Strategies for asserting oneself without fear of being wrong
33:25 - The difference between striving for perfection and authentic self-expression
36:30 - Embracing vulnerability and owning mistakes as part of growth
40:15 - Building resilience through the ebbs and flows of confidence
43:20 - Ending conversations with clarity and self-validation
47:00 - The cultural expectation of women apologizing and its impact
50:50 - Practical steps women can take to lead with confidence and authenticity
53:21 - Final encouragement: progress over perfection and continuous growth

Pam Lippitt is CEO/Chief Communicator of Pamela Lippitt Communications, LLC (formerly The Hill Street Group), and is a public speaker, corporate trainer and coach helping people improve their communication skills. She helps each client maximize their voice, creating confident, savvy leaders.

Pam has been speaking in front of audiences since she was a teenager and is comfortable in front of large and small groups alike. She is currently host of the podcast “Communication is an Art”. She is a proud University of Michigan graduate (Go Blue) with a degree in Communications.

Resources & Links:

Connect with Pam Lippet!

Website: https://www.pamelalippitt.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelalippitt/

Instagram: @pamelalippitt.communications

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Pantene Sorry Commercial: https://youtu.be/TcGKxLJ4ZGI?si=UotIdN0hFcK_jJi8

]]>6f9c393a-b81c-4b15-a914-6be44ff92fb1Tue, 14 Jul 2026 18:53:35 GMT<p>The Hidden Barriers That Stop You From Asking for What You Need</p><p></p><p>Discover how our own mental habits, like mind reading and second-guessing, hinder our ability to communicate effectively and build confidence. This episode shares practical insights on shifting from internal chatter to direct conversations that empower us.</p><p></p><p>Key topics:</p><p>- The impact of pre-verbal self-doubt on communication</p><p>- How mind reading and anticipation create barriers</p><p>- The importance of asking questions rather than assuming</p><p>- Checking in with others to foster clarity</p><p>- The role of self-awareness in building self-authority</p><p>- Practical tips to stop overthinking and start authentic conversations</p><p>- The connection between self-trust and effective communication</p><p>- Introducing Pam Lippet and her approach to self-awareness</p><h6><b>Timestamps:</b></h6><p>00:00 - Introduction to the episode and why women often hesitate to speak up<br />02:30 - Pam’s childhood and discovery of her voice through theater and debate<br />05:15 - How early experiences shape communication skills and confidence<br />08:45 - Navigating gender dynamics in professional settings<br />12:05 - The importance of preparation and presentation in meetings<br />15:42 - Overcoming internalized messages about women’s roles and expectations<br />18:55 - Examples of women supporting or self-sabotaging each other in the workplace<br />22:07 - How to handle miscommunication or language barriers effectively<br />26:45 - The power of transparency in workload and project management<br />30:05 - Strategies for asserting oneself without fear of being wrong<br />33:25 - The difference between striving for perfection and authentic self-expression<br />36:30 - Embracing vulnerability and owning mistakes as part of growth<br />40:15 - Building resilience through the ebbs and flows of confidence<br />43:20 - Ending conversations with clarity and self-validation<br />47:00 - The cultural expectation of women apologizing and its impact<br />50:50 - Practical steps women can take to lead with confidence and authenticity<br />53:21 - Final encouragement: progress over perfection and continuous growth</p><p></p><p>Pam Lippitt is CEO/Chief Communicator of Pamela Lippitt Communications, LLC (formerly The Hill Street Group), and is a public speaker, corporate trainer and coach helping people improve their communication skills. She helps each client maximize their voice, creating confident, savvy leaders.</p><p></p><p>Pam has been speaking in front of audiences since she was a teenager and is comfortable in front of large and small groups alike. She is currently host of the podcast “Communication is an Art”. She is a proud University of Michigan graduate (Go Blue) with a degree in Communications.</p><p></p><p>Resources &amp; Links:</p><p>Connect with Pam Lippet!</p><p>Website: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.pamelalippitt.com" target="_blank">https://www.pamelalippitt.com</a></p><p>LinkedIn: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelalippitt/" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelalippitt/</a></p><p>Instagram: @pamelalippitt.communications</p><p></p><p>Connect with Elaine!</p><p>LinkedIn: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw" target="_blank">www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw</a></p><p>Free Discovery Call: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min" target="_blank">https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min</a></p><p>Website: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com" target="_blank">https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com</a></p><p></p><p>Pantene Sorry Commercial: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://youtu.be/TcGKxLJ4ZGI?si=UotIdN0hFcK_jJi8" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/TcGKxLJ4ZGI?si=UotIdN0hFcK_jJi8</a></p><p></p>no00:57:3717Speak Up with Confidencefull<![CDATA[Quiet Your Inner Critic]]>Unlocking Self-Authority: Master Your Self-Talk and Create the Life You Deserve

Discover how shifting your inner dialogue and practicing presence can empower you to overcome limiting beliefs, handle stress, and live authentically. Lee, a self-leadership strategist, shares her transformative journey and actionable tools to help women step into their full potential.

00:00 – Introduction to self-authority and Lee’s story

01:14 – The power of self-talk and its impact on mental health

02:08 – Reframing negative thoughts: strategies for empowerment

03:36 – Childhood reflections: the mirror work and self-love

04:34 – Recognizing voices: mom, dad, and your authentic internal voice

05:31 – Turning depression around through presence and intentionality

07:55 – Rediscovering passion and aligning with your true self

09:12 – The Reactor to Creator framework explained

11:49 – How reacting vs. creating influences your life outcomes

13:22 – The importance of self-love and visualizing future success

17:09 – Controlling perceptions vs. accepting the illusion of control

18:36 – Developing the habit of response and intentional action

21:03 – Addressing imposter syndrome: reframing and real-world examples

23:07 – Why women especially struggle with imposter syndrome & overcoming comparisonitis

27:10 – The dangers of social comparison and embracing your unique path

29:49 – The value of presence and staying in the "here and now"

31:23 – How to embody your future successful self using visualization

34:41 – Self-validation: reasons and techniques to become your own cheerleader

36:29 – Mirror work and recognizing your inner genius, gifts, and greatness

38:46 – Overcoming the fear of failure by shifting self-criticism into self-love

43:49 – Embracing mistakes and humanity as key to growth

45:17 – Lee’s free resource: The 5-minute Self-Talk Reset at http://rewriteyourselftalk.com

Ly Smith helps women executives stop reacting and start creating life on their terms. As Self-Leadership Strategist with UpCycle Coaching and founder of the G3 Collective, Ly uses her 30yrs of personal development studies, positive psychology and NLP certification to lead as a member of the Thought Council w/ C-Suite Network. She has helped clients grow revenue by over 30%, break through sales blocks, and transform people pleasing and procrastination into actionable confidence. Her message is simple: Change your self-talk, Change your results!

Free Gift: 5-Minute Reset http://www.rewriteyourselftalk.com

Website: http://www.upcyclecoaching.com

LinkedIn: /g3mastermind

Podcast: https://talks.co/ly

Book Ly: https://bit.ly/zoomwithly

Services: Keynote, Corporate Workshop Facilitator, Breakout Session, G3 Accountability

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: / elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

]]>92359f89-af25-4c0d-8f96-4d97716ad8acTue, 07 Jul 2026 21:13:16 GMT<p>Unlocking Self-Authority: Master Your Self-Talk and Create the Life You Deserve</p><p></p><p>Discover how shifting your inner dialogue and practicing presence can empower you to overcome limiting beliefs, handle stress, and live authentically. Lee, a self-leadership strategist, shares her transformative journey and actionable tools to help women step into their full potential.</p><p></p><p>00:00 – Introduction to self-authority and Lee’s story</p><p>01:14 – The power of self-talk and its impact on mental health</p><p>02:08 – Reframing negative thoughts: strategies for empowerment</p><p>03:36 – Childhood reflections: the mirror work and self-love</p><p>04:34 – Recognizing voices: mom, dad, and your authentic internal voice</p><p>05:31 – Turning depression around through presence and intentionality</p><p>07:55 – Rediscovering passion and aligning with your true self</p><p>09:12 – The Reactor to Creator framework explained</p><p>11:49 – How reacting vs. creating influences your life outcomes</p><p>13:22 – The importance of self-love and visualizing future success</p><p>17:09 – Controlling perceptions vs. accepting the illusion of control</p><p>18:36 – Developing the habit of response and intentional action</p><p>21:03 – Addressing imposter syndrome: reframing and real-world examples</p><p>23:07 – Why women especially struggle with imposter syndrome &amp; overcoming comparisonitis</p><p>27:10 – The dangers of social comparison and embracing your unique path</p><p>29:49 – The value of presence and staying in the "here and now"</p><p>31:23 – How to embody your future successful self using visualization</p><p>34:41 – Self-validation: reasons and techniques to become your own cheerleader</p><p>36:29 – Mirror work and recognizing your inner genius, gifts, and greatness</p><p>38:46 – Overcoming the fear of failure by shifting self-criticism into self-love</p><p>43:49 – Embracing mistakes and humanity as key to growth</p><p>45:17 – Lee’s free resource: The 5-minute Self-Talk Reset at <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://rewriteyourselftalk.com" target="_blank">http://rewriteyourselftalk.com</a></p><p></p><p>Ly Smith helps women executives stop reacting and start creating life on their terms. As Self-Leadership Strategist with UpCycle Coaching and founder of the G3 Collective, Ly uses her 30yrs of personal development studies, positive psychology and NLP certification to lead as a member of the Thought Council w/ C-Suite Network. She has helped clients grow revenue by over 30%, break through sales blocks, and transform people pleasing and procrastination into actionable confidence. Her message is simple: Change your self-talk, Change your results!</p><p></p><p>Free Gift: 5-Minute Reset <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://www.rewriteyourselftalk.com" target="_blank">http://www.rewriteyourselftalk.com</a></p><p>Website: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://www.upcyclecoaching.com" target="_blank">http://www.upcyclecoaching.com</a></p><p>LinkedIn: /g3mastermind </p><p>Podcast: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://talks.co/ly" target="_blank">https://talks.co/ly</a></p><p>Book Ly: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://bit.ly/zoomwithly" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/zoomwithly</a></p><p>Services: Keynote, Corporate Workshop Facilitator, Breakout Session, G3 Accountability</p><p></p><p>Connect with Elaine!</p><p>LinkedIn: / elainebelsonlcsw </p><p>Free Discovery Call: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min" target="_blank">https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min</a></p><p>Website: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com" target="_blank">https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com</a></p>no00:46:37Quiet Your Inner Criticfull<![CDATA[You Dont Need to Overperform]]>Elaine Belson hosts the Self Authority Podcast with executive coach, author, and former HR executive Marlo Lyons to explore why high-achieving women struggle to trust their own authority and keep waiting for external validation.

Marlo recounts her path from TV news to law and entertainment at NBC and Viacom/Paramount, where she coached executives behind the scenes yet was overlooked for credit, reinforcing her drive to over-perform and feel indispensable.

She contrasts being needed with being valued, explains how women often tie worth to productivity and recognition, and describes over-functioning as a way to stay emotionally safe.

After being called back to the office post-COVID and declining available roles, she bet on herself, built her coaching business, and found greater fulfillment by listening to intuition, using her voice, and separating worth from output.


00:00 Why Women Wait

01:51 Marlo’s Career Path

04:33 Credit Stolen at Work

06:27 Betting on Herself

08:52 Needed vs Valued

14:12 Performing vs Power

16:57 Stop Using Mirrors

20:59 Designing Her Days

25:00 Body Signals and Voice

29:00 Ignoring Intuition Costs

30:28 Oxygen Mask Self Care

32:17 Recharge Your Capacity

33:49 Balance Over Supermom

36:44 Emotions As Data

38:25 Ban The Shoulds

40:31 Coaching Quiet Voices

42:12 Worth Beyond Output

43:44 Reframe Mistakes Learning

46:46 Advice To Younger Self

50:33 How To Reach Marlo

51:31 Needed Versus Valued

55:26 Podcast Closing Message


Connect with Marlo!

Website: https://wwwmarlolyonscoaching.com

Podcast: Work Unscripted: https://www.marlolyonscoaching.com/podcast

Award-winning, bestselling author:

Wanted: A Board Career: https://amzn.to/4ckbxpA

Wanted: A New Career: https://amzn.to/3FjnsG4

Wanted: My First Career: https://amzn.to/41gcc68


Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Website: https://www.theselfauthoritycoach.com/

Schedule a free 15-min discovery call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/theselfauthoritycoach/episodes/You-Dont-Need-to-Overperform-e3kd9i1cc0d4b96-48d7-4114-86ae-afbab6cd749dMon, 15 Jun 2026 04:00:00 GMT<p>Elaine Belson hosts the Self Authority Podcast with executive coach, author, and former HR executive Marlo Lyons to explore why high-achieving women struggle to trust their own authority and keep waiting for external validation. </p><p>Marlo recounts her path from TV news to law and entertainment at NBC and Viacom/Paramount, where she coached executives behind the scenes yet was overlooked for credit, reinforcing her drive to over-perform and feel indispensable. </p><p>She contrasts being needed with being valued, explains how women often tie worth to productivity and recognition, and describes over-functioning as a way to stay emotionally safe. </p><p>After being called back to the office post-COVID and declining available roles, she bet on herself, built her coaching business, and found greater fulfillment by listening to intuition, using her voice, and separating worth from output.</p><p><br /></p><p>00:00 Why Women Wait</p><p>01:51 Marlo’s Career Path</p><p>04:33 Credit Stolen at Work</p><p>06:27 Betting on Herself</p><p>08:52 Needed vs Valued</p><p>14:12 Performing vs Power</p><p>16:57 Stop Using Mirrors</p><p>20:59 Designing Her Days</p><p>25:00 Body Signals and Voice</p><p>29:00 Ignoring Intuition Costs</p><p>30:28 Oxygen Mask Self Care</p><p>32:17 Recharge Your Capacity</p><p>33:49 Balance Over Supermom</p><p>36:44 Emotions As Data</p><p>38:25 Ban The Shoulds</p><p>40:31 Coaching Quiet Voices</p><p>42:12 Worth Beyond Output</p><p>43:44 Reframe Mistakes Learning</p><p>46:46 Advice To Younger Self</p><p>50:33 How To Reach Marlo</p><p>51:31 Needed Versus Valued</p><p>55:26 Podcast Closing Message</p><p><br /></p><p>Connect with Marlo! </p><p>Website: https://wwwmarlolyonscoaching.com</p><p>Podcast: Work Unscripted: https://www.marlolyonscoaching.com/podcast</p><p>Award-winning, bestselling author: </p><p>Wanted: A Board Career: https://amzn.to/4ckbxpA</p><p>Wanted: A New Career: https://amzn.to/3FjnsG4</p><p>Wanted: My First Career: https://amzn.to/41gcc68</p><p><br /></p><p>Connect with Elaine!</p><p>LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw</p><p>Website: https://www.theselfauthoritycoach.com/</p><p>Schedule a free 15-min discovery call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min</p> no00:52:3113You Dont Need to Overperformfull<![CDATA[You CAN Start Over]]>Elaine Belson talks with coach and podcast host Leann Herron about rebuilding her life after multiple upheavals at 45, including the end of a 20-year marriage, leaving a misaligned career, bankruptcy, and becoming an empty nester.

Leann describes how abandonment and betrayal trauma fueled people-pleasing, loss of identity, and difficulty using her voice, and shares experiences of infidelity, family betrayal involving a custody battle, and workplace invalidation that culminated in severe panic and quitting her job.

She explains how stepping away allowed her to focus on healing through meditation, breathwork, nutrition, somatic and energy-based practices, and learning tools to regulate anxiety, set boundaries, and trust instincts. Leanne now coaches others, emphasizing that healing is coming home to yourself and giving yourself permission to change.


00:00 When Life Collapses

01:14 Leanne’s Fresh Start

03:18 Losing Identity

05:38 Roots of Abandonment

07:46 Betrayal Trauma Unpacked

11:27 Workplace Trigger Spiral

15:18 Trust Your Gut

18:57 Healing After Quitting

23:33 Tools Beyond Talk Therapy

26:19 Energy Work and Voice

30:58 Coaching and New Life

35:25 Advice at Crossroads

39:22 Starting Over With Power

42:59 Key Takeaways and Closing


Leann Herron is a Certified Life and Holistic Health Coach, founder of Finding Resilience with Leann, and the Host of the Happiness On Tap podcast. She is a passionate advocate for women's health and empowerment, specializing in guiding midlife women to break free from the cycle of over-giving and the stories that keep them stuck, to manage stress, and to enhancing their overall well-being so they can create a life that truly fulfills them—body, mind, and spirit. 


Leann has a deep background in trauma recovery, holistic health, and personal development. She has helped numerous women break free from the cycle of over-giving and step into a life of balance, joy, and purpose. Through her women-centered transformative 90-day programs, she empowers women to finally say YES to themselves—without guilt.


Connect with Leann!

Website: https://findingresiliencewithleann.com  

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leannherron/

Podcast – Happiness On Tap: https://findingresiliencewithleann.com/podcast 


Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/theselfauthoritycoach/episodes/You-CAN-Start-Over-e3kf54bde559935-5cfd-4094-8313-a8d58203641fMon, 22 Jun 2026 04:00:00 GMT<p>Elaine Belson talks with coach and podcast host Leann Herron about rebuilding her life after multiple upheavals at 45, including the end of a 20-year marriage, leaving a misaligned career, bankruptcy, and becoming an empty nester. </p><p>Leann describes how abandonment and betrayal trauma fueled people-pleasing, loss of identity, and difficulty using her voice, and shares experiences of infidelity, family betrayal involving a custody battle, and workplace invalidation that culminated in severe panic and quitting her job. </p><p>She explains how stepping away allowed her to focus on healing through meditation, breathwork, nutrition, somatic and energy-based practices, and learning tools to regulate anxiety, set boundaries, and trust instincts. Leanne now coaches others, emphasizing that healing is coming home to yourself and giving yourself permission to change.</p><p><br /></p><p>00:00 When Life Collapses</p><p>01:14 Leanne’s Fresh Start</p><p>03:18 Losing Identity</p><p>05:38 Roots of Abandonment</p><p>07:46 Betrayal Trauma Unpacked</p><p>11:27 Workplace Trigger Spiral</p><p>15:18 Trust Your Gut</p><p>18:57 Healing After Quitting</p><p>23:33 Tools Beyond Talk Therapy</p><p>26:19 Energy Work and Voice</p><p>30:58 Coaching and New Life</p><p>35:25 Advice at Crossroads</p><p>39:22 Starting Over With Power</p><p>42:59 Key Takeaways and Closing</p><p><br /></p><p>Leann Herron is a Certified Life and Holistic Health Coach, founder of Finding Resilience with Leann, and the Host of the Happiness On Tap podcast. She is a passionate advocate for women's health and empowerment, specializing in guiding midlife women to break free from the cycle of over-giving and the stories that keep them stuck, to manage stress, and to enhancing their overall well-being so they can create a life that truly fulfills them—body, mind, and spirit. </p><p><br /></p><p>Leann has a deep background in trauma recovery, holistic health, and personal development. She has helped numerous women break free from the cycle of over-giving and step into a life of balance, joy, and purpose. Through her women-centered transformative 90-day programs, she empowers women to finally say YES to themselves—without guilt.</p><p><br /></p><p>Connect with Leann!</p><p>Website: https://findingresiliencewithleann.com  </p><p>LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leannherron/</p><p>Podcast – Happiness On Tap: https://findingresiliencewithleann.com/podcast </p><p><br /></p><p>Connect with Elaine!</p><p>LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw</p><p>Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min</p><p>Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com</p> no00:46:55You CAN Start Overfull<![CDATA[Be OK with Not Being Perfect]]>Perfectionism, Over‑Independence & Finding Your Voice | Elaine Belson with Jessica Cumming

Elaine Belson hosts Jessica Cumming to explore why many women tie worth and love to achievement and perfection.

Jessica shares how feeling overlooked as the only girl among male cousins, being told she’d never amount to anything, and growing up largely alone shaped her perfectionism, over-independence, fear of disappointing others, and reluctance to ask for help—patterns that later influenced major career decisions and contributed to burnout and hesitation.

They discuss how women are often judged differently when speaking up, the importance of self-validation and focusing on root causes and non-negotiables when making decisions about jobs or relationships, and reframing layoffs and other losses.

Jessica explains her “unapologetic mindset” framework—your voice is your power, confidence is an action, and putting yourself first isn’t selfish—and emphasizes modeling change for future generations.


00:00 Why Perfection Feels Required

01:28 Jessica Origin Story

02:20 Proving Yourself Through Achievement

03:06 Turning Down The Dream Job

05:30 Over Independence As Survival

06:45 Why Women Stay Quiet

11:48 When Confidence Gets Shot Down

13:30 Unapologetic Mindset Framework

15:36 Second Guessing And Seeking Advice

18:38 Layoffs Identity And Perspective

20:31 Root Cause And Non Negotiables

22:26 Reinventing Work And Relationships

23:51 Career Pivot Booklet

24:16 Unapologetic Training

25:03 Dell Story Speaking Up

26:47 Assertive Scripts Practice

27:19 Meeting Pushback Example

29:46 Facts Over Feelings

34:14 Stop Hesitating Speak Early

35:51 Mind Reading And Boundaries

39:38 Legacy And Owning Gaps

43:29 Connect And Final Wrap


Connect with Jessica!

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessicacumming04/

We Are Women Unapologetically podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oN0IdbNTYOQ&list=PLArOnUYs4_0pxDmP3a1m0HxOyUOv0n07p

Website: https://www.jcnewbeginnings.com

Get a free booklet on managing career changes: https://www.jcnewbeginnings.com/from-layoff-to-legacyConnect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/theselfauthoritycoach/episodes/Be-OK-with-Not-Being-Perfect-e3k5mns200ae40a-341d-4e21-ade0-9790dd055b3cMon, 08 Jun 2026 04:00:00 GMT<p>Perfectionism, Over‑Independence &amp; Finding Your Voice | Elaine Belson with Jessica Cumming</p><p>Elaine Belson hosts Jessica Cumming to explore why many women tie worth and love to achievement and perfection. </p><p>Jessica shares how feeling overlooked as the only girl among male cousins, being told she’d never amount to anything, and growing up largely alone shaped her perfectionism, over-independence, fear of disappointing others, and reluctance to ask for help—patterns that later influenced major career decisions and contributed to burnout and hesitation. </p><p>They discuss how women are often judged differently when speaking up, the importance of self-validation and focusing on root causes and non-negotiables when making decisions about jobs or relationships, and reframing layoffs and other losses. </p><p>Jessica explains her “unapologetic mindset” framework—your voice is your power, confidence is an action, and putting yourself first isn’t selfish—and emphasizes modeling change for future generations.</p><p><br /></p><p>00:00 Why Perfection Feels Required</p><p>01:28 Jessica Origin Story</p><p>02:20 Proving Yourself Through Achievement</p><p>03:06 Turning Down The Dream Job</p><p>05:30 Over Independence As Survival</p><p>06:45 Why Women Stay Quiet</p><p>11:48 When Confidence Gets Shot Down</p><p>13:30 Unapologetic Mindset Framework</p><p>15:36 Second Guessing And Seeking Advice</p><p>18:38 Layoffs Identity And Perspective</p><p>20:31 Root Cause And Non Negotiables</p><p>22:26 Reinventing Work And Relationships</p><p>23:51 Career Pivot Booklet</p><p>24:16 Unapologetic Training</p><p>25:03 Dell Story Speaking Up</p><p>26:47 Assertive Scripts Practice</p><p>27:19 Meeting Pushback Example</p><p>29:46 Facts Over Feelings</p><p>34:14 Stop Hesitating Speak Early</p><p>35:51 Mind Reading And Boundaries</p><p>39:38 Legacy And Owning Gaps</p><p>43:29 Connect And Final Wrap</p><p><br /></p><p>Connect with Jessica! </p><p>LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessicacumming04/</p><p>We Are Women Unapologetically podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oN0IdbNTYOQ&amp;list=PLArOnUYs4_0pxDmP3a1m0HxOyUOv0n07p</p><p>Website: https://www.jcnewbeginnings.com</p><p>Get a free booklet on managing career changes: https://www.jcnewbeginnings.com/from-layoff-to-legacyConnect with Elaine!</p><p>LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw</p><p>Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min</p><p>Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com</p> no00:45:50Be OK with Not Being Perfectfull<![CDATA[Set Boundaries with Confidence]]>How to Stop People-Pleasing: Boundaries, Codependency, and Internal Safety with Barb Nangle


On the Self Authority Podcast, host Elaine Belsen talks with boundaries coach and Fragmented to Whole podcast host Barb Nangle about why many women struggle to say no and prioritize their needs without guilt.


Barb shares how inviting a homeless parishioner into her home in 2015 led her to confront lifelong codependency, people-pleasing, and self-abandonment, and how 12-step recovery programs (Al-Anon, CoDA, ACA, and OA) helped her reparent herself, lose over 100 pounds, and build healthy boundaries.


They discuss women’s socialization under patriarchy, approval-seeking disguised as kindness, external versus internal boundaries, creating internal safety through nervous system support, ending gossip and victim mentality, and how changing personal dynamics can ripple into workplaces and culture.


00:00 Why Women Feel Guilty

01:39 Barb Meets Dan

03:22 Discovering Al Anon

05:45 Finding ACA Reparenting

08:47 From Recovery to Boundaries

12:36 Codependent Bottom Moment

16:35 Why Women Struggle

18:44 Approval Seeking Trap

23:10 Internal Safety Boundaries

28:26 When Helpers Feel Guilty

31:51 Gossip Indirect Communication

33:15 Gossip Culture Wakeup

34:02 Quitting Gossip in Recovery

36:01 Taking Ownership at Work

39:16 Resentment as Boundary Signal

41:29 Tools for Self Trust

44:52 Info Not Ammo Mindset

46:14 Reasonable vs Unrealistic Expectations

50:08 Discomfort Growth vs Dysfunction

53:23 Support Systems and Reciprocity

57:53 Changing Culture Through Self Authority

01:01:30 Internal Safety Takeaway

01:03:01 Closing and Listener Outro


At 52, Barb Nangle’s life transformed through 12-step recovery, after decades of therapy merely skimmed the surface. Addressing codependence unlocked healing from intergenerational trauma, childhood wounds, and compulsive overeating. Learning to build healthy boundaries revolutionized her relationships, impacting her professional life at Yale. Formerly masking her struggles with substance use and overeating, she shed over 100 pounds and confronted her deep-seated negativity and fear. Driven by a desire for growth and social justice, Barb now empowers professional women to break patterns of self-neglect. Through boundary coaching, speaking, and her podcast, "Fragmented to Whole," she guides women to build internal safety, reclaim their power and say no to what no longer serves them, fostering a world where inner change drives societal impact.


New internal safety course: "Boundaries That Hold: How to Stop Overriding Yourself in Real Time

Free 30 minute "Say No without Guilt" call: http://barbchat.net/

podcast: https://higherpowercc.com/podcast

https://higherpowercc.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/barb-nangle

https://www.youtube.com/@higherpowercoaching

What's Draining Your Boundaries Quiz: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/


Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/theselfauthoritycoach/episodes/Set-Boundaries-with-Confidence-e3komt997767fe5-d92a-4037-80ed-4e6fe516f001Mon, 29 Jun 2026 04:00:00 GMT<p>How to Stop People-Pleasing: Boundaries, Codependency, and Internal Safety with Barb Nangle</p><p><br /></p><p>On the Self Authority Podcast, host Elaine Belsen talks with boundaries coach and Fragmented to Whole podcast host Barb Nangle about why many women struggle to say no and prioritize their needs without guilt. </p><p><br /></p><p>Barb shares how inviting a homeless parishioner into her home in 2015 led her to confront lifelong codependency, people-pleasing, and self-abandonment, and how 12-step recovery programs (Al-Anon, CoDA, ACA, and OA) helped her reparent herself, lose over 100 pounds, and build healthy boundaries. </p><p><br /></p><p>They discuss women’s socialization under patriarchy, approval-seeking disguised as kindness, external versus internal boundaries, creating internal safety through nervous system support, ending gossip and victim mentality, and how changing personal dynamics can ripple into workplaces and culture.</p><p><br /></p><p>00:00 Why Women Feel Guilty</p><p>01:39 Barb Meets Dan</p><p>03:22 Discovering Al Anon</p><p>05:45 Finding ACA Reparenting</p><p>08:47 From Recovery to Boundaries</p><p>12:36 Codependent Bottom Moment</p><p>16:35 Why Women Struggle</p><p>18:44 Approval Seeking Trap</p><p>23:10 Internal Safety Boundaries</p><p>28:26 When Helpers Feel Guilty</p><p>31:51 Gossip Indirect Communication</p><p>33:15 Gossip Culture Wakeup</p><p>34:02 Quitting Gossip in Recovery</p><p>36:01 Taking Ownership at Work</p><p>39:16 Resentment as Boundary Signal</p><p>41:29 Tools for Self Trust</p><p>44:52 Info Not Ammo Mindset</p><p>46:14 Reasonable vs Unrealistic Expectations</p><p>50:08 Discomfort Growth vs Dysfunction</p><p>53:23 Support Systems and Reciprocity</p><p>57:53 Changing Culture Through Self Authority</p><p>01:01:30 Internal Safety Takeaway</p><p>01:03:01 Closing and Listener Outro</p><p><br /></p><p>At 52, Barb Nangle’s life transformed through 12-step recovery, after decades of therapy merely skimmed the surface. Addressing codependence unlocked healing from intergenerational trauma, childhood wounds, and compulsive overeating. Learning to build healthy boundaries revolutionized her relationships, impacting her professional life at Yale. Formerly masking her struggles with substance use and overeating, she shed over 100 pounds and confronted her deep-seated negativity and fear. Driven by a desire for growth and social justice, Barb now empowers professional women to break patterns of self-neglect. Through boundary coaching, speaking, and her podcast, "Fragmented to Whole," she guides women to build internal safety, reclaim their power and say no to what no longer serves them, fostering a world where inner change drives societal impact.</p><p><br /></p><p>New internal safety course: "Boundaries That Hold: How to Stop Overriding Yourself in Real Time</p><p>Free 30 minute "Say No without Guilt" call: http://barbchat.net/</p><p>podcast: https://higherpowercc.com/podcast</p><p>https://higherpowercc.com</p><p>https://www.linkedin.com/in/barb-nangle </p><p>https://www.youtube.com/@higherpowercoaching</p><p>What's Draining Your Boundaries Quiz: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/</p><p><br /></p><p>Connect with Elaine!</p><p>LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw</p><p>Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min</p><p>Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com</p> yes01:04:50Set Boundaries with Confidencefull<![CDATA[Stop Waiting for Permission]]>Host Elaine Belson welcomes executive career and business coach and two-time bestselling author Liz M. Lopez to discuss why many women struggle to claim their victories and wait for external validation.

Coach Liz shares how a female CIO minimized a major revenue-driving achievement after being told to “stay in your lane,” inspiring Liz’s book, Permission to Dominate Your Success, and its seven “permissions,” including permission to fail, take support, and walk away.

They explore how conditioning, fear of disapproval, negative self-talk, people-pleasing, and identity-based approval-seeking keep women small, including taking on non-promotable work.

Coach Liz recounts leaving a high-paying corporate job that was harming her wellbeing, and emphasizes separating job identity from career, asking clearly for support, and honoring dreams rather than settling.


00:00 Why Women Downplay Wins

01:04 CIO Story and Resume Win

04:02 Where Hesitancy Comes From

06:55 Permission to Fail Mindset

09:02 Seven Permissions Framework

11:10 Trust Instincts and Walk Away

17:07 Honoring Dreams and Regrets

20:53 Non Promotable Work Trap

24:28 Permission to Walk Away

29:58 Permission to Take Support

34:27 Asking for Help and Boundaries

38:35 Final Takeaway and Wrap Up


Liz M. Lopez is an Executive Career & Business Coach, Speaker, and 2XBestselling Author who guides corporate professionals and business owners into their next level of success through strategic and practical frameworks. She loves connecting with colleagues!

Connect with Liz!

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lizmlopez/

Website: www.LizMLopez.com

Free Discovery Call: https://schedulesessionwithlizmlopez.as.me/

Book: Permission to Dominate Your Success: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DL2FPW8S


Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

]]>https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/theselfauthoritycoach/episodes/Stop-Waiting-for-Permission-e3jqsr08a7ab215-7730-4498-88b0-d9845224efe0Sun, 31 May 2026 17:34:18 GMT<p>Host Elaine Belson welcomes executive career and business coach and two-time bestselling author Liz M. Lopez to discuss why many women struggle to claim their victories and wait for external validation.</p><p>Coach Liz shares how a female CIO minimized a major revenue-driving achievement after being told to “stay in your lane,” inspiring Liz’s book, Permission to Dominate Your Success, and its seven “permissions,” including permission to fail, take support, and walk away. </p><p>They explore how conditioning, fear of disapproval, negative self-talk, people-pleasing, and identity-based approval-seeking keep women small, including taking on non-promotable work. </p><p>Coach Liz recounts leaving a high-paying corporate job that was harming her wellbeing, and emphasizes separating job identity from career, asking clearly for support, and honoring dreams rather than settling.</p><p><br /></p><p>00:00 Why Women Downplay Wins</p><p>01:04 CIO Story and Resume Win</p><p>04:02 Where Hesitancy Comes From</p><p>06:55 Permission to Fail Mindset</p><p>09:02 Seven Permissions Framework</p><p>11:10 Trust Instincts and Walk Away</p><p>17:07 Honoring Dreams and Regrets</p><p>20:53 Non Promotable Work Trap</p><p>24:28 Permission to Walk Away</p><p>29:58 Permission to Take Support</p><p>34:27 Asking for Help and Boundaries</p><p>38:35 Final Takeaway and Wrap Up</p><p><br /></p><p>Liz M. Lopez is an Executive Career &amp; Business Coach, Speaker, and 2XBestselling Author who guides corporate professionals and business owners into their next level of success through strategic and practical frameworks. She loves connecting with colleagues!</p><p>Connect with Liz! </p><p>LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lizmlopez/</p><p>Website: www.LizMLopez.com </p><p>Free Discovery Call: https://schedulesessionwithlizmlopez.as.me/</p><p>Book: Permission to Dominate Your Success: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DL2FPW8S</p><p><br /></p><p>Connect with Elaine!</p><p>LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw</p><p>Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min</p><p>Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com</p> no00:41:4611Stop Waiting for Permissionfull