At some point in my career, I realized I had been waiting for somebody to come get me.

Not literally, obviously.

But somewhere in the back of my head, I thought there was supposed to be a moment when somebody looked at all the work I'd done, decided I was ready for the next thing and tapped me on the shoulder.

Congratulations. You're ready now.

Turns out, that's not really how it works.

In this episode of A Sugarbutt's Guide to Life, we're talking about what happens when you stop waiting to feel completely ready and start trusting the evidence you've already built.

I'm talking about my own winding career path, going back to school in the middle of an already-full life, learning to recognize the difference between being genuinely unprepared and simply being afraid, and figuring out that confidence doesn't always come before you take the next step. Sometimes it shows up because you've taken enough steps to trust yourself.

We'll also get into the people who do tap you on the shoulder, because nobody gets anywhere entirely alone. Mentors matter. Leaders matter. Somebody believing in you matters. But eventually, you still have to decide whether you're willing to walk through the door.

And yes, we are absolutely going to work a little The Right Stef / right stuff nonsense into the conversation because apparently I cannot resist a pun.

The Sugarbutt Assignment

Think about one thing you've been waiting for somebody else to give you permission to do.

Then ask yourself:

What exactly am I waiting for?

If there's something real you need first, respect that.

But if the answer is basically “I thought somebody was supposed to ask me first,” maybe it's time to raise your hand.

From This Episode

“Sometimes ‘I'm not ready’ is fear wearing a little blazer so it looks professional.”

And maybe the bigger one:

“You can do something with a real no. You can't do much with an imaginary maybe.”

Keep the Conversation Going

This podcast is only one piece of the A Sugarbutt's Guide to Life universe.

If you want the shorter, quicker version of my particular brand of advice, questionable opinions and cybersecurity bullshit, come find me on TikTok and Facebook. That's where I turn some of these conversations into shorter videos, tips and the occasional “well, since we're talking about it...” tangent.

And if you're here because one of those short videos sent you to the podcast, welcome. You're exactly where you're supposed to be.

Coming Up Next

Episode 5 — Somebody's Gotta Carry the Table

We're talking about volunteering, community and the people who actually make things happen after everybody else has finished talking about how important the community is.

Because eventually somebody has to pick up the other end of the damn table.

A Sugarbutt's Guide to Life is hosted by Stefanie Moran.

Be useful. Be curious. Don't be an asshole.

One of the absolute worst parts of parenting teenagers is watching your kid make a decision you already know is stupid.

Not dangerous. Not life-altering. Just stupid.

And when you know exactly how to fix it, letting them figure it out themselves can feel a whole lot harder than stepping in.

In this episode of A Sugarbutt’s Guide to Life, we’re talking about the uncomfortable transition from managing our kids’ lives to helping them learn how to manage their own.

Because the goal was never really to raise children. It was to raise adults.

We’re getting into natural consequences, independence, forgotten shit, school, sports, uncomfortable conversations and the difference between advocating for your kid and rescuing them because watching them struggle makes you uncomfortable.

We’ll also talk about why small failures are practice, why kids need opportunities to solve problems while the stakes are still relatively low and how doing everything for them can accidentally rob them of something just as important as failure: the chance to say “I did it.”

🍑 The Sugarbutt Assignment

Before you fix something for your kid this week, pause and ask:

Can they reasonably handle this themselves?

Not whether they'll do it exactly the way you would. Not whether you could do it faster.

Can they handle it?

If the answer is yes, take one step back.

Help them draft the email instead of sending it. Ask what they think they should do before giving them the answer. Let them deal with one small, recoverable consequence.

Give them a rep.

Raising Sugarbutts

This is the first episode in our Raising Sugarbutts series, where we talk about raising actual future adults without pretending any of us have perfected parenting.

I’ll share my experiences as a mom and the things parenting has taught me, but my kids are people, not content. Their private lives belong to them.

Even if they do leave cups in their bedrooms for approximately seven thousand years.

In This Episode

Letting teenagers experience natural consequences • raising adults instead of managing children • helping versus rescuing • why parents sometimes intervene for our own comfort • building judgment through experience • small failures as practice • teaching kids to advocate for themselves • when parents really do need to step in • youth sports and parental investment • giving kids ownership of their successes • respecting teenagers’ privacy

Coming Next

Nobody Is Coming to Tap You on the Shoulder

Next time we're switching lanes into career and leadership.

If you've been waiting to feel completely qualified, waiting for somebody to notice what you're capable of or assuming someone will eventually invite you to take the next step, we need to talk.

Come Hang Out

Follow The Right Stef for more Sugarbutt content, clips from the show and whatever else we get ourselves into this week.

A Sugarbutt’s Guide to Life is hosted by Stefanie Moran.

Be useful. Be curious. Don’t be an asshole.

“I don’t have anything anybody would want.”

Sugarbutt. Yes, you do.

You don’t have to be rich, famous or particularly interesting to be useful to a cybercriminal. Your email, accounts, identity, contacts and the trust other people have in you all have value. And most of the time, nobody is sitting in a dark basement specifically plotting your downfall. They’re looking for opportunities at scale.

In this episode of A Sugarbutt’s Guide to Life, we’re breaking down one of the biggest cybersecurity myths: Why would anybody hack me?

We’ll talk about what criminals actually want from regular people, why an established social media account is more valuable than you might think, how your email can become a skeleton key to the rest of your digital life and why seemingly boring pieces of information become much more powerful when they’re put together.

We’re also talking about something that matters a whole hell of a lot to me: smart people get scammed.

Cybersecurity shouldn’t be built around shame or fear. You don’t need to become suspicious of everything on the internet or throw your phone into the Gulf. You need a handful of good habits, better judgment and the ability to stop when something doesn’t feel right.

🍑 The Sugarbutt Assignment

Check the security on your primary personal email account.

Is multifactor authentication turned on?

If it is, check your recovery information. Make sure the phone number and backup email still belong to you and take a look at the devices currently signed into your account.

If MFA isn’t enabled, turn it on.

One thing. That’s it.

Would Stef Click It?

Unexpected text about a package that couldn’t be delivered?

Nope.

If there might actually be a problem with a package, open the shipping company’s app, type the website yourself or use the tracking information from your original order.

You don’t have to figure out whether the link someone handed you is safe when you already know another way in.

In this episode

Why ordinary people are valuable cyber targets • automated attacks and credential theft • the value of trusted social media accounts • why your email deserves extra protection • how small pieces of personal information add up • social engineering and urgency • why smart people still get scammed • cybersecurity without fear or shame • simple habits that make you harder to fool

Coming Next

Your Password Is Showing

We’re talking password reuse, credential stuffing, password managers, passkeys and why changing Football1 to Football2 is not the security strategy you think it is.

Come Hang Out

Follow The Right Stef for more Sugarbutt content, cybersecurity tips, clips from the show and whatever else we get ourselves into this week.

A Sugarbutt’s Guide to Life is hosted by Stefanie Moran.

Be useful. Be curious. Don’t be an asshole.

And for the love of God, sugarbutt, stop clicking weird shit.

Welcome to the very first episode of A Sugarbutt’s Guide to Life, where we’re talking about cybersecurity, parenting, careers, leadership, community, volunteering, womanhood and all the weird shit we collect while figuring out how to be humans.

In this episode, I’m talking about why I started this podcast, why “Sugarbutts” escaped my cybersecurity content and became something much bigger and why I don’t believe we have to learn every lesson the hard way ourselves.

We’ll talk about being an expert in one room and a complete beginner in another, building a career without a perfectly mapped-out plan, raising humans, showing up for your community and why I refuse to pretend hindsight was foresight.

Because maybe the goal isn’t to have life figured out.

Maybe we get really good at some things, remain embarrassingly bad at others and share notes along the way.

🍑 The Sugarbutt Assignment

Ask somebody something you genuinely don’t know.

Then shut up and let them teach you.

Get comfortable saying:

“I don’t know. Show me.”

In this episode

Cybersecurity and why it will always have a seat at this table • parenting and raising future adults • careers that don’t follow a straight line • leadership and being willing to be new • volunteering and community • why shame is a terrible teacher • learning from other people’s mistakes instead of personally stepping on every rake

Come hang out

Follow The Right Stef for more Sugarbutt content, clips from the show and whatever else we get ourselves into this week.

A Sugarbutt’s Guide to Life is hosted by Stefanie Moran.

Be useful. Be curious. Don’t be an asshole.

And for the love of God, sugarbutt, stop clicking weird shit.