Some friendships fade without a fight, without a reason, without a goodbye that felt like a goodbye. Others can go a year without a real conversation and pick up like no time passed the moment you're back together. Some friendships, over time, quietly become family. And some never happen at all — because at some point, most of us just quietly stop trying to make new ones.

This episode is an honest conversation about all of it. The losses that don't come with flowers or check-ins. The friendships that survive everything. The people who chose to stay when staying was optional. And the reminder that some of the best friendships you'll ever have are still ahead of you.

In this episode, we sit with the question most of us have had but few of us have said out loud: what happens when the path you're on was built for someone you used to be — and you've been changing ever since?

In this episode, we dive deep into the immigrant paradox: the experience of straddling two worlds, two value systems, two definitions of success, and feeling like you belong fully to neither. Whether you're an immigrant, a first-generation professional, or anyone navigating between cultures, this conversation is for you.

We explore:
• What bicultural identity integration really means (and why it's exhausting)
• Cultural taxation: the invisible labor of explaining, translating, and proving yourself
• The weight of being the "return on investment" for your family's sacrifices
• Why imposter syndrome isn't personal—it's structural
• The hidden costs of code-switching (spoiler: 60% more cognitive resources)
• How environmental justice connects to questions of belonging
• What integration looks like (versus assimilation)

Grounded in research from psychology, public health, and environmental justice, this episode validates what you already know in your bones: what you're experiencing is real, documented, and not in your head.

If you've ever felt caught between who you were and who you're becoming, this episode will help you understand that you're not lost—you're navigating complexity that most people never have to face.

Takeaways

• High-functioning individuals often experience burnout due to constant self-overriding.
• Women of color face unique challenges in professional spaces, including cultural taxation.
• Emotional labor is a significant but often invisible burden in the workplace.
• Values mismatch can lead to feelings of exhaustion and misalignment.
• Identity fusion can make it difficult to separate self-worth from professional roles.
• Chronic stress can manifest in both emotional and physical symptoms.
• Elder daughter syndrome can lead to equating love with responsibility.
• Self-honesty is crucial for recognizing and addressing misalignment.
• Taking breaks may not alleviate exhaustion if underlying issues are not addressed.
• Embracing change is a sign of evolution, not weakness.

takeaways

• The quiet seasons of life can be periods of recalibration.
• Transitioning between identities can evoke feelings of grief.
• Grief is a natural part of leaving behind an old identity.
• Public health provided a new lens to view systemic issues.
• The middle space of transition is experimental and requires action.
• High achievers often struggle with the concept of experimentation.
• Nothing is wasted in your journey; skills and compassion travel with you.
• Acknowledging grief can lead to integration and growth.
• Recalibration is a process of adjustment, not panic.
• You are not lost; you are expanding your identity.

women's leadership, transformational leadership, collective action, empathy, mentorship, women empowerment, leadership styles, gender equality, women in leadership, support systems

Summary

In this episode, Swati Upadhyay discusses the importance of women's leadership, emphasizing that it is often framed as instinct rather than skill. She highlights the transformational leadership style that women tend to practice, which is rooted in empathy, mentorship, and collaboration. The conversation explores the collective nature of women's leadership, the challenges they face in isolated environments, and the need for supportive systems that allow women to rise together. Upadhyay advocates for a future of leadership that values care alongside competence and encourages women to lead in circles rather than ladders.

Takeaways

• Women's leadership is often framed as instinct rather than skill.
• Transformational leadership is rooted in motivation and mentorship.
• Women lead collectively, fostering shared leadership and collaboration.
• Empathy in leadership improves motivation, creativity, and retention.
• Women leaders face scrutiny and competition in isolated environments.
• Supporting women leaders means moving beyond symbolism.
• Collaboration should be rewarded as a measure of success.
• Peer support strengthens the leadership pipeline.
• Engaging all genders is essential in dismantling scarcity.
• The future of leadership is about shared success, not isolation.

Sound bites

"Empathy works best when it's amongst peers."

"Collaboration should count as success."

"Women are builders of trust."

In this solo episode of In Her Element, Swati reflects on what it means to stop living on autopilot and start choosing yourself — in friendships, family dynamics, work, and the way you love and live.

This is a conversation about people-pleasing, emotional safety, boundaries, loss, and the relief that comes when you stop apologizing for who you are. About learning that genuine relationships don’t break with distance or time. About letting good things stay. About realizing that clarity doesn’t come from speed, but from honesty.

If you’ve ever felt tired without knowing why, questioned whether you’re behind, or wondered if it’s okay to live life on your own terms — this episode is for you.

Takeaways

• Self-discovery
• Embracing rest

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Episode
• 06:01 Unlearning and Redefining Self-Identity
• 11:19 Seeking Freedom and Space for Self-Expression

Swati opens up about the women who shaped her, the lessons she learned growing up, and why safe spaces for women matter more than ever. She talks about friendship in different seasons of life, how to repair what’s been lost to ego or misunderstanding, and why being a gentle ally can be an act of quiet revolution.

✨ In this episode, we explore:

• The balance between ambition and empathy

• The women who teach us to keep going

• How to rebuild friendships with grace

• Why kindness and justice must walk together

• Simple ways to become a safe space — for others and for yourself

Takeaways

• As women, we sometimes let go of friendship too easily.
• Life can get busy, affecting our friendships.
• Pride or ego can hinder communication in friendships.
• People may be in different seasons of their lives.
• Silence can be misread in friendships.
• A friend may seem distant but still cares.
• Reaching out can mend strained friendships.
• Real sisterhood is about persistence.
• Understanding each other's struggles is key.
• Friendship requires effort and grace.

Sound bites

• "We sometimes let go of friendship too easily."
• "Sometimes people are just in different seasons of their life."
• "We have all misread a silence before, haven't we?"

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Dreams and Kindness

03:18 Lessons on Dreams and Humility

From growing up with big dreams, to becoming a doctor, to pivoting into public health and rediscovering purpose through storytelling — this episode is raw, reflective, and a reminder that our journeys don’t need to be perfect to be powerful.

This isn’t just a podcast — it’s a space for women figuring it out, starting over, building something new, or simply needing to feel less alone.

Come sit with Swati as she opens up about identity, imposter syndrome, and how community and conversation can change everything.

In this deeply personal episode, I sit down with one of my closest friends and collaborators in academia, Amrita. What started as a professional connection while we were both navigating our PhDs turned into something so much more — a friendship rooted in shared values, support without ego, and the kind of quiet understanding that only grows through lived experience.

Together, we reflect on the invisible labor and emotional resilience that women — especially women of color — carry in academic and scientific spaces. We talk about what it means to be first-generation scholars, to constantly prove our worth, and to make space for others even when no one is making space for us.

But we also laugh. We celebrate the moments of joy, the memes exchanged at midnight, the pep talks before big presentations, and the unspoken ways we hold each other through it all.

This episode is a love letter to sisterhood — the kind that doesn’t always get recognition on CVs or tenure-track dossiers, but quietly changes lives and careers behind the scenes.

If you’ve ever found solace in a friendship that felt like oxygen, if you've ever felt like “the only one” in a room and then realized you weren’t alone — this one’s for you. 💛

Pour yourself a warm cup of something comforting, and join us.

Together, they discuss:

• Growing up in an Indian household and finding autonomy later in life

• Building a support system while living away from family

• The importance of women friendships and non-judgmental spaces

• Why creativity and dance help her stay grounded

• The realities of motherhood — far beyond Instagram’s highlight reels

• A life transition that reshaped how she sees herself and her choices

Abhipsa shares openly about the highs and lows of her journey, the lessons she learned through lived experience, and the joy she chooses to make space for every day. It’s a conversation that feels real, reassuring, and deeply relatable.

If you’ve ever navigated identity, loneliness, motherhood, friendships, or starting over, this episode is for you.

From growing up as the first doctor in a family of engineers to practicing medicine in India, Nayeema shares how kindness, empathy, and lived experience shape the way she cares for women at their most vulnerable. Together, they talk openly about periods, PCOS, postpartum recovery, menopause, and the quiet ways women are taught to normalize pain instead of questioning it.

Nayeema reflects on how her own postpartum journey, grief, and motherhood changed the doctor she became, why women deserve individualized care instead of one-size-fits-all advice, and how social media can be both a tool for education and a source of misinformation.

This episode is an invitation to slow down, listen to your body, and remember that your questions are valid, your experiences matter, and asking for help is a form of strength.

Whether you’re navigating womanhood, motherhood, medicine, or simply learning to be gentler with yourself, this conversation will leave you feeling seen, steadied, and deeply understood.

We talk about her unconventional journey into tech, what it means to bring kindness into AI, and how sisterhood and science don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

We also reflect on friendship born in the digital world, navigating identity in male-dominated spaces, and why being “in your element” isn’t always about having it all figured out — sometimes, it’s just about showing up as your whole self.

Whether you’re in STEM, at a career crossroads, or simply craving a reminder that there’s space for softness in sharp spaces — this one’s for you.

✨ Come for the data, stay for the heart.

🎧 Tune in now and don’t forget to click the link in bio to listen, follow, and share.

self-discovery, personal growth, women empowerment, individuality, community support, life transitions, embracing change, purpose, resilience, belonging

Summary

In this episode, Swati Upadhyay reflects on her journey through her 30s, exploring themes of self-discovery, individuality, and the importance of community among women. She emphasizes that each person's path is unique and valid, encouraging listeners to embrace their own wilderness and support one another in their diverse journeys.

Takeaways

• Reflecting on purpose and timing is essential in life.
• Standing alone can be a path to self-belonging.
• Everyone's journey unfolds differently; embrace your own pace.
• The wilderness is where transformation takes place.
• No two women want the same things, and that's beautiful.
• Real empowerment is about freedom to define life on your own terms.
• Celebrate choices that differ from your own.
• Support each other without needing to agree.
• Every woman carries her own wilderness deserving respect.
• We are building a community, not competing with each other.

Sound bites

• "I am the wilderness."
• "No two women want the same things."
• "We are not in a competition."

Chapters

00:00 Embracing the Wilderness of Self-Discovery

05:50 The Unique Journeys of Women

10:52 Building a Supportive Community for Women

In this conversation, Swati Upadhyay explores the profound impact of sisterhood and community among women. She reflects on how the support and celebration from other women have shaped her identity and growth. The discussion emphasizes the importance of building each other up, recognizing that success is not a competition but a collective journey.

Takeaways

• Every version of me has been carried by someone.
• These women are my compass.
• They have called me out when I needed to grow.
• They have celebrated me when I didn't feel worthy.
• Sisterhood is about showing up when it matters.
• It's about knowing when someone else's success doesn't threaten yours.
• Sisterhood is building each other up even when the world tries to tear you down.
• It's community over competition.
• We rise differently when we rise together.
• Sisterhood means a deep knowing of support and empowerment.

It’s also an episode threaded with grief. We talk about life before Jen and life after Jen — and how losing her reshaped us, softened us, and, in many ways, made us better humans.

Heartwarming, messy, and deeply human, this conversation is for anyone who’s ever found healing in friendship or carried both laughter and loss in the same breath.

✨ Dedicated with love to Jen.

In this episode, Swati speaks with the radiant Shruti Mohanty, whose journey spans quiet girlhood in Odisha, the whirlwind of immigrant life in the U.S., the hidden storms of postpartum depression, and the bold courage of stepping into the world of pageantry — a world she never imagined she belonged to.

Together, they talk about:

• the emotional inheritance of growing up in strict Indian households
• the invisible labor women carry through motherhood
• the quiet ache of postpartum depression
• why friendships in adulthood look different
• choosing peace over people-pleasing
• the power of sisterhood and empathy
• and the transformative moment Shruti was crowned Mrs. Universe Texas Petite

Shruti reminds us that beauty isn’t a measurement — it’s a presence. And reinvention doesn’t begin with a milestone… it begins with permission.

This episode is for every woman rediscovering herself in the middle of life, motherhood, responsibility, or healing.
A reminder that you are allowed to evolve. You are allowed to shine. And you deserve spaces where you feel seen.

Welcome to Season 2.
Let the blooming continue. 💛

women empowerment, self-care, resilience, personal growth, life choices, joy, feminine energy, mental health, self-love, creating life

Summary

In this heartfelt solo episode, Swati Upadhyay explores the theme of empowerment and self-creation, emphasizing that women have the power to shape their lives. She reflects on her own journey, the importance of making ordinary choices that bring joy, and the need to redefine strength and resilience. Swati encourages listeners to prioritize themselves, embrace their desires, and recognize their inherent worth, ultimately inspiring them to live fully and authentically.

Takeaways

If a woman holds the power to create life, she also holds the power to create the life she wants.

We often forget that the strength we use for others can also be used for ourselves.

Creating your life happens in both big changes and small, ordinary choices.

Romanticizing life means choosing to notice the beauty around you.

You don't have to wait for milestones to feel alive.

Real strength looks soft and includes rest and self-care.

Prioritizing yourself is essential for true joy and fulfillment.

You deserve a life that feels good, not just one that looks good to others.

You already hold the power to create the life you want.

Start with small choices that affirm your worth and joy.

Titles

Empowerment Through Self-Creation

The Beauty of Ordinary Choices

Sound bites

"You get to create the life you want."

"Real strength actually looks very soft."

"Live, love and romanticize that life."

Chapters

00:00 Creating the Life You Want

02:43 The Power of Ordinary Choices

05:25 Redefining Strength and Resilience

08:02 Prioritizing Yourself and Your Joy

11:11 Embracing Your Feminine Energy

In this solo episode, host Swati Upadhyay speaks from the heart, not as an expert, but as the big sister she once needed, to anyone questioning their career, identity, or next step. Whether you're choosing your first path or pivoting decades in, this one is for you.

✨ You’ll hear:
– A personal story of leaving medicine and starting over
– Permission to pause, change, or stay and reshape
– Why “not knowing” doesn’t mean you’re lost
– Gentle reminders that you are becoming, not behind

If you’ve ever asked, “Is this still right for me?” — hit play.
And if it resonates, send it to someone who might need to hear it, too. 💛

Takeaways

• Getting a PhD is a huge deal, but the costs are rarely discussed.
• Determination is key to completing a PhD journey.
• Nothing in life is linear; paths can change unexpectedly.
• Support systems are crucial for success in academia.
• Creativity can enhance the impact of scientific research.
• Public health communication is essential for reaching wider audiences.
• Women in STEM face unique challenges that require resilience.
• Mentorship can shape the next generation of researchers.
• Kindness and empathy are vital in professional settings.
• Experiences of adversity can lead to personal growth and strength.

What does it really mean to pivot — not once, but again and again?
And what if success, as you imagined it, no longer fits the life you’re building?

In this powerful and intimate episode, we sit down with Sreya, a scientist working in biotech, who reflects on her journey from academia to industry — and the moments in between that don’t make it onto LinkedIn.

We talk about:

• Choosing industry over academia from day one

• The mental toll of a PhD and letting go of control

• Redefining success in the middle of uncertainty

• Being an immigrant woman in STEM navigating change

• The quiet, deeply personal process of choosing yourself again

This episode is a reminder that the strongest decisions are often the quietest ones — the ones no one claps for, but that change everything.

🎧 Available now on all platforms.
📩 Don’t forget to share this episode with a friend who might be in her own in-between moment.

In this episode of 'In Her Element', host Swati Upadhyay speaks with Amanda Ojeurega, a PhD candidate in epidemiology, about her journey from Nigeria to the United States, her experiences as an international student, and the importance of community and resilience in navigating the challenges of a PhD program. Amanda shares her passion for health equity and disparities, the significance of support systems, and her aspirations for the future, including the impact she hopes her research will have on her home country. The conversation also touches on the lighter side of life with a rapid-fire round of fun questions.

Takeaways

• Amanda's journey reflects the non-linear paths many take in academia.
• Being an international student shapes perspectives on health disparities.
• Community support is crucial for resilience in challenging times.
• Venting is a healthy coping mechanism for stress.
• Asking for help is essential and should not be overlooked.
• Passion drives the pursuit of meaningful research.
• Cultural backgrounds influence professional interests and goals.
• The importance of balancing academic and personal life.
• Future aspirations include bridging industry and academia.
• Building a supportive network is vital for success in STEM.

Sound bites

• "Do it afraid, do it anyways."
• "Venting is a coping mechanism."
• "Ask for help, you will get it."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Amanda Ojeurega

01:45 Amanda's Journey from Nigeria to the US

06:25 The Impact of Being an International Student

11:04 Staying Grounded During PhD Challenges

17:09 The Importance of Community and Sisterhood

23:38 Asking for Help and Building Connections

24:05 Future Aspirations and Impact on Home Country

27:50 Rapid Fire Round: Fun Insights with Amanda

In this solo episode of In Her Element, I reflect on the quiet courage it takes to ask for big, sometimes unreasonable things, especially when we’ve been taught to justify our wants, stay grateful, and not ask for too much.

From leaving behind a familiar life to starting over in a new field, to navigating grief, stress, and the loss of optimism in 2024, this episode is an honest conversation about how asking, clearly and boldly, can shift not just outcomes, but who we become in the process.

We talk about cultural conditioning, the inner critic, confidence built through repeated self-trust, and why clarity itself is a form of work. I also share how In Her Element began as an ask before it ever became a podcast.

This episode is not about hustle or manifestation.
It’s about alignment.
It’s about naming what you want without apology.
And trusting that the universe often meets us at our level of audacity.

If you’re standing at the edge of a decision, questioning everything, or quietly wanting more, this one is for you.