What happens when you lose someone you had a complicated relationship with?

This week's episode wasn't the one I originally planned to release. But after an unexpected loss last week, I found myself navigating grief in ways I hadn't anticipated.

From questioning whether I had the right to grieve, to spending an entire day making sure everybody else was okay, only to realize I wasn't… this episode explores the complicated, uncomfortable, and sometimes unexpected ways we process loss.

We're talking about ambivalent grief, the relationships that shape us, the things we leave unsaid, and how sadness, gratitude, and joy can exist in the same space.

And somewhere along the way, I began to understand that celebrating someone's life doesn't mean pretending the relationship was perfect.

I close this episode with a personal letter of gratitude to someone who reminded me that kindness doesn't require agreement.

Because sometimes the hardest part of losing someone isn't just saying goodbye.

It's realizing you thought you had more time.

But Since We're Here… let's talk about it.

We get into therapy, relationships, family, foster care, work, life after the doctorate, and what it means to give yourself grace while you’re still figuring some shit out.

Apparently, this was never going to be a quick life update… but since we’re here.